"Jungkook and Taehyung have been dating since the last year of high school and now in college, everything was supposed to thrive. But while one gives his all to make everything work out, the other is fighting for what feels like the opposite."
WARNINGS: Please beware that I'll try to depict real-life relationships and people, so not all is perfect, rainbows, and sunshine. We, as readers, might understand what's wrong in their relationship and not agree (as I, as a writer, don't also agree or condone), but not everyone does, especially not in these moments when feelings are clouding one's judgment.
Be mindful of that and don't attack me for writing the members in a certain way you don't agree with.
This is a work of fiction where I use the boys' faces and names as a shell for fictional characters. It's not in any way based on their real personas/identities.
— College setting
— Lovers quarrel
— Angsty but fluffy ending
— Miscommunication
— Length: 9.8k
— SFW
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The evolution of Tae and Kook's relationship was slow in many ways. They liked to spend time together, no doubt about that, and they looked almost inseparable on most stances, but it was rather in a friend-like atmosphere. Yes, they usually kissed, but it was soft and innocent.
The first time they fully made out, they were dating for about six months. Before that, they could barely kiss without Taehyung feeling like dying; Jungkook would always say, "Breathe, baby," but Tae had to have some time to adjust to kissing Jungkook.
It wasn't just that he was inexperienced (which he was) but because Jungkook was a whole dream come true. Taehyung never expected that his crush would become his boyfriend; he was so used to crushing people from afar, or at best, being their acquaintances.
But with Kook, they ascended to so many levels that Taehyung would never have expected. Jungkook found it endearing how Tae would always get flustered by the most simple things he did, and he respected his boyfriend's time with patience. Lots and lots of patience and self-control.
Because the time after their kisses stopped being just a press of lips and the tongue got involved, Jungkook got to learn that Taehyung made him really horny.
His taste, the softness of his lips, the shyness of his tongue, the tight grip on Jungkook's shirt with his long fingers... Jungkook just felt the urge to touch each other up and down, and Taehyung using shorts didn't help (damned be the summer).
Every time Jungkook unintentionally brushed his hands or arms on the exposed skin of Tae's smooth legs, he felt an electrifying sensation run throughout his body, and the desire to touch him grew bigger with it.
But Jungkook had to be patient. If he started to touch Taehyung out of nowhere, he could make the boy push him away and go back to barely properly kissing. To his surprise, the first one to touch the other was Taehyung.
His hands were finally coming loose from all the groping on the fabric of Jungkook's shirt, which at the time had prompted some awkward conversations. The first time they deepened the kiss, Jungkook got back home with his clothes all crumpled.
This made his parents wary and worried since they met Taehyung and knew he was just a pure innocent child. So to give Jungkook some advice, they encouraged his older brother to come to have 'the talk' with him.
"So about you and Taehyung..." Yoongi started, standing awkwardly in the middle of the younger's room. Kook just had to glance once to know what was about to come.
"Hyung, please don't!" He groaned as embarrassment dawned on him in crimson color.
"Yeah, don't. Don't do anything and all is good." Yoongi said it awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck and looking everywhere else.
"Seriously, that's your advice?"
"You don't want me to talk; I don't want to talk, so yeah." Yoongi shrugged and if the situation wasn't tense enough, Jungkook would've let out a chuckle.
"You suck."
"Sometimes," Yoongi mumbled as a joke, but the allusion to it made Jungkook feel grossed out.
"HYUNG!"
"I was trying to be funny, sorry," Yoongi said, noticing his joke had been unfortunate and reddening all over at the implications he let out.
"Don't! It's weird; I don't wanna know what you and Joon Hyung do."
And with that, Yoongi nodded and left the room. However, as unfortunate as it was, many months later, Jungkook came to his brother to know exactly what he and his boyfriend did intimately.
Just so that he could try to learn something that didn't come from porn. But soon after his brother opened his mouth, spurting in a stuttering mess, Jungkook heavily regretted coming to him, as all his wishes were to scrape his brain on asphalt and forget!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Almost a year into dating, college application time came, and Taehyung was excited to go to the same one Jimin and his boyfriend went to. He missed his brothers most of the time since they moved out to live closer to college.
And even though Seokjin had already graduated from university, he still lived a good 20 minutes from where Jimin now lived with his boyfriend, so once Taehyung moved to the dorms, they could all be reunited again, and more frequently.
Everything seemed set in Taehyung's life. He was going to study fashion and design, something he loved passionately; he would move closer to his brothers, and his first romantic relationship was thriving.
But then there was Jungkook, who didn't care much about college and was still very much unaware of what he wanted to do. He liked photography, but he also liked drawing, yet he couldn't see himself having a successful career in either.
He had become good at baseball and there were some offers from scouts for him to get a scholarship in any course he wanted if he continued playing. But he still took his time to decide what he wanted for his future.
Money wasn't abundant at home, but it wasn't scarce either. His mother made many sacrifices throughout her life for Jungkook to have everything he ever needed.
She had savings for him to go to college or to use for whatever he liked after he left home. And Jungkook had been seriously thinking about using that money to rent an apartment near Taehyung's college instead of paying for tuition.
That way, they could be together whenever they wanted without having to worry about the distance. But now, with scholarship on the table, Jungkook could do both.
So he looked for the courses that Taehyung University offered and was happy to find that they had a great photography program and an illustration bachelor's, so he could do both! It was a win-win-win kind of situation and both he and Taehyung were very excited about what was yet to come.
In the next few months, they both graduated, went on vacation together, came back to the news of being accepted at their university of choice, and moved out of the house. Jungkook to the apartment he wanted and Taehyung to the school's dorms.
"You know you could always move in with me, right?" Jungkook said after they brought the last box inside the loft.
"Are you proposing to me, Jeon Jungkook?" Taehyung questioned teasingly, seeing the pretty blush dusting his boyfriend's cheeks.
"I'm just saying." He shrugged.
"We won't have much time together once the school year starts; it won't be like high school, you know? And we could split rent instead of you paying to stay in a cramped dorm." He spoke casually, but his discourse denoted much thought given to it.
"As tempting as that sounds, I want to have my college experience, even if in a shared, cramped dorm. Let's talk about this again in a year." Even though he already expected the rejection, Jungkook couldn't help but feel a little hurtful tug in his heart that he suppressed as best as he could.
"Six months." He counter-argued, busying himself with putting away the things inside the boxes, which right now were the dishware his mom bought him as a house gift.
"Why six months?" Taehyung questioned it with a confused frown.
"You could change your mind midway." Jungkook shrugged again, but his answer made Taehyung roll his eyes.
"I could go live with my hyungs, you know? I'm not helpless." He said it teasingly.
"Ouch, good to know that the idea of living with me is that damn horrible."
"It's not that, Kookie," Taehyung whined, taking the cups off his boyfriend's hands and turning him to him.
"It's just- won't we be like... skipping steps? Rushing things?"
"Tae, I'm not asking you to marry me. It's just living together, as you will do with your dorm's roommate."
It was his turn to roll his eyes, but deep down, he just wanted to, indeed, take a step closer to their relationship. But hearing how, from Taehyung's point of view, it all looked like rushing steps, Jungkook decided to retract. At least his intentions.
"But my roommate and I sleep in separate beds."
"By all means, I'll buy another bed, and we can be roommates." He said it jokingly, which made Taehyung chuckle and slap his arm softly.
"Stop being ridiculous." He said, continually hitting Jungkook until he caged Taehyung with his arms, hugging him tight and close. They laughed for a bit, shared a couple of soft kisses, and then relaxed in each other's embrace.
"Are you apprehensive about sleeping in the same bed?" Jungkook questioned it after a short moment of silence.
"You know we don't have to do anything besides sleep, right? We already slept together countless times, just cuddling, and I love to cuddle you."
"It's not about that..." Taehyung sighed, looking up to the ceiling without a point of focus, just thinking to himself and pouting slightly.
"I don't know; maybe it is. It's different. When we slept together, your parents and your brother were right next door. And when you slept at mine, my brothers were there too, and other times my parents were. It's weird to be all alone without supervision."
"It's okay, baby; we don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable about. We'll take things slow." Jungkook assured, kissing Taehyung's temple all too adoringly.
"Thank you, and I'm sorry," Taehyung mumbled, hugging Jungkook tighter and hiding his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck.
"Hey, what are you apologizing for?" Jungkook asked, squeezing one of his boyfriend's love handles.
"For ruining the mood and rejecting your proposal." Jungkook felt stupid for bringing up a topic he already knew Taehyung would reject. Now he had left his boyfriend all guilty over something he had no fault for.
"You didn't ruin anything. And it wasn't a proposal; it was a suggestion, a suggestion that will always be on the table if you want, and if not, it's okay. I'm not hurt, sad, or disappointed in the slightest."
That last one was a lie. He wasn't disappointed in Taehyung per se, but in the expectations he had put on his plans, even when he had a big idea of the outcome.
"Promise?"
"Promise." He sealed it with a kiss on the other's lips, hugging him closer before he had to drive him and his stuff back to campus.
"I love you, Kim Taehyung."
"I love you more, Jeon Jungkook."
"Impossible." And they laughed and made out lovingly for a few more hours before they had to part ways.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
They didn't have much time together once the school year started, as Jungkook predicted. Which was fine. They both were having fun doing the things they loved, getting to know new people, trying to manage the new routine and the new grounds, and getting acquainted with everything and everyone.
The teachers weren't nice, though; they were ruthless.
They didn't care to wait for the newbies to adapt; they just dumped a ridiculous amount of work and projects that gave the both of them almost no time to sleep, let alone meet. But they both manage to always text and sometimes FaceTime before sleep, falling into slumber while the call was still on as if they were sleeping next to each other.
This made Taehyung reconsider moving in with Jungkook at one point, but he knew it was just the longing for his boyfriend to talk louder.
It took them some weeks to finally be able to meet again. They were both giddy to have a date night, so much so that Taehyung agreed to sleep at Jungkook's, even though he had told Jungkook in the beginning that he felt weirded out without having any supervision.
But they were so exhausted out of their bodies and minds that they literally fell asleep as soon as they reached home and lazed a bit on the couch. Not even enjoying each other's company or eating the precious dinner, Jungkook asked his brother to prepare and set it while Jungkook was still in school.
They felt stupid the next morning for having wasted time sleeping when they barely had time together. But they promised to try to have another date night soon, where they would just eat, watch TV shows and movies, and trash talk about the teachers.
But the date night didn't come as soon as they wanted.
In the meantime, they did manage to have lunch together from time to time, even if one of them sometimes had to leave in the middle of it.
When one of them didn't have time to even sit, they would grab coffee together in the nearest cafeteria, barely having time to talk for more than 15 minutes before one of them had to leave. It was becoming frustrating and wearing.
So much so that their first big fight came because of that, right at one of those rare date nights they were able to have, where Taehyung completely forgot and arrived pretty late.
"Maybe if you had accepted to move in with me, none of this would be happening." Jungkook groaned after Taehyung apologized with his thousand-and-one excuses.
"You promised you weren't upset about that!" Taehyung was accused and Jungkook flinched.
He hadn't been upset; he just had been let down by his own expectations and that wasn't on Tae, but unconsciously, it seemed like it was becoming that.
"And I wasn't, but I can barely see you or talk to you. You'd rather live in the dorms so you can have your college experience than be with me." Jungkook said it bitterly.
He was just tired of not being able to see his boyfriend and with those emotions floating uncontrollably, he was being a bit unfair.
"You said you would respect my decision, but now you're throwing all the blame on me!" Taehyung screeched, completely throwback by Jungkook's tantrum.
"I'm not blaming you; I'm just frustrated that everything is like this when it could be different." Jungkook shrugged, trying not to raise his voice like Taehyung was starting to do, not in a bad manner but rather out of incredulity.
"I don't wanna move in with you, Jungkook!"
Now that has hurt. Even if, logically, Jungkook knew it didn't mean the way he thought, he wasn't able to hold back the bitter feeling growing up in the pit of his stomach.
"You don't wanna move in with me, or you don't wanna be with me?" He asked with a sharp stare fixed on Taehyung, who gasped at his question, even more flabbergasted. After all the accusations, this was the one that was the most unfair.
"You're saying nonsense; you know I love you." He said it with a low tone, afraid of what would come next.
His body was all tense and trembling, and he felt like any sudden movement would cause a breakout so big it would bring unwanted consequences.
"I don't know Tae; I don't know if you do anymore," Jungkook mumbled with a sigh, head hanging low, as Taehyung's eyes prickled with tears of sadness and anger.
"No. You don't get to say that! It's my feelings, and it's my decision, and if you can't respect that, if you want to downplay what I feel, then maybe we should break up." Taehyung finally burst the dam and the outcome was the opposite of what Jungkook expected.
In all truthfulness, Jungkook didn't exactly know what he expected, but definitely not a break-up threat. Maybe he expected Taehyung to see his side and try to compromise on something that both agreed on.
Not move in together, but maybe agree to spend some days sleeping at Jungkook's apartment, or maybe Jungkook even sleeping at Taehyung's dorms. But, undoubtedly, he hadn't expected a break-up warning.
"W-what? You want to break up with me?" Jungkook breathlessly asked.
His wide eyes now brimming with tears, he watched as Taehyung hesitated to answer, causing little cracks in his heart that scared Jungkook. After a few seconds of silence, Taehyung sighed.
"No, I don't. I just want you to respect my decision, even if it's not the best for us." He finally said that, getting a breath of relief out of Jungkook's lips.
"I-I'm sorry- Fuck, Tae, I'm so sorry." Jungkook stuttered, annulling the space between them and taking his boyfriend in his arms, hugging him tightly. "I just- I miss you so fucking much. Please don't break up with me." He pleaded, and it was Taehyung's heart's turn to squeeze.
"I won't." He hugged back, hiding his face in the crook of Jungkook's neck. "I'm not trying to break up with you, Kookie. I'm just saying that we need to figure this out before love turns to resentment."
"We will, I will." He promised.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
They tried to compromise. At first, they tried to find more time between their cramped-up schedules by having study dates when they're swamped with work. Even if they could barely have a normal talk or kiss senseless, they at least got assured by seeing each other's faces or holding hands between reads.
But plus that, Jungkook tried his hardest to wake up a bit earlier to pick up their breakfast and then head back to Tae's dorm.
Sometimes he would even sleep there, all cramped up, with people coming in and out. But just to be able to have Taehyung in his arms was worth the sacrifice and the back pain. Jungkook also tried to go to his boyfriend's little get-togethers, which he occasionally had with his new friends after group projects.
But he's quick to realize he doesn't belong there, so he just comes to pick him up after his baseball practice, which has been growing in frequency due to the game season approaching.
"You look tired as fuck." Yugyeom, one of his baseball teammates, said this after one of their practices. "I was going to invite you to a party this weekend, but I think you need sleep!"
Sometimes Jungkook would get invitations from his teammates to get together after hours, and most times he would refuse it just to be with Taehyung, to study more, or even just to rest. He knew he wasn't as close to his teammates as the others, but he wasn't particularly social, so it didn't bother him much.
"Hm, I wouldn't be able to go anyway. Have a dinner date with my boyfriend and our siblings and their partners." He said it unfazed.
He hadn't spoken much about his personal life with everyone, but Yugyeom was the closest teammate he had, seemingly unbothered by Jungkook's anti-socialness. It reminded him a bit of Taehyung, but less flirty and more friend-like.
"Wait- you have a boyfriend? I didn't even know you were gay." Yugyeom screeches, his eyes widening, stopping his task of putting away the balls that had been spit by the cannonball.
They were the only ones on that side of the field, so even if Yugyeom had spoken loudly, it didn't seem to reach the other teammates. But Jungkook looked around nonetheless, trying to catch any stinky eyes before he turned to Yugyeom.
"Have a problem with that?" He questioned him with a threatening stance and a raised eyebrow.
"No, of course not; I'm bi!" He told him with a nervous chuckle, almost defensive. "You just don't give off that vibe- and I'm being stereotypical, sorry." He confessed with a lower tone and a shrug.
"It's okay; I'm used to people telling me I look like a heterosexual bad boy." Jungkook had visibly relaxed at that. He had no problem with people knowing about his sexual orientation; he had problems with homophobic jerks.
"That's the closest description of my perception of you, but I would add 'emo' to your heterosexual bad-boy persona." He added it with a teasing grin.
"That works too." They both laughed and Jungkook felt that some of his walls had broken. Maybe he could be friends with this guy, rather than just teammates.
"But tell me about your boyfriend; does he go here?" A glint crossed Jungkook's eyes as he was asked about Taehyung.
He ended up telling everything about his relationship with Taehyung, from how they met, which got a chorus of coos and 'cute' thrown his way. He then speaks of the hardships they have been having because of college, and Yugyeom assures him that it's normal to have a hard time adjusting in the first year.
That day, Jungkook ended up canceling on Taehyung as he was supposed to go pick him up, texting him that he had been held back in practice. But Taehyung didn't reply right away; he didn't even answer, but that was to be expected. Taehyung would never text back when Jungkook was to go meet him, always being surprised when his boyfriend finally arrived to pick him up.
It wasn't on purpose, but he was so used to this new routine, always getting distracted with his own friends, and Jungkook didn't mind then, since he was already on his way to pick Taehyung up. But now, as hours passed without a reply, his chest started to burn a bit.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
When the weekend and their dinner date with their siblings came, everything had already gone back to normal. Jungkook got back to their new routine the next day and Taehyung never commented on Jungkook's absence the other day or the lack of updates on Taehyung's part.
During dinner, Taehyung was always getting distracted by his phone, stirring away from the conversation they were having to giggle at his phone. Jungkook was starting to get annoyed, but he wouldn't say anything to not ruin the mood.
However, he wasn't the only one bothered by it, so when Seokjin scolded his maknae, Taehyung quickly realized he was in the wrong, apologizing for his action and explaining that his group project was trashing a teacher they hated.
Taehyung then proceeded to tell them all the bad deeds that the teacher did to them and everything related to his new group of friends. He was rather excited when everyone asked questions about his college experience, to which Taehyung responded with more praise.
Taehyung also confessed that initially he thought he would be discriminated against by the way he looks, but that on the contrary, he felt included and loved and that he had nothing to complain about.
Jungkook had a bittersweet feeling about Tae's words. He was really happy that Taehyung achieved all his expectations with the college experience he so much wanted, and he was especially happy that Taehyung was making friends.
But he also couldn't shake the feeling that he and their relationship were being brushed off. The hardships they had been facing seemed to weigh heavier on Jungkook's court, like a seesaw game where he was the heavier.
It wasn't like Jungkook wanted Taehyung to suffer too but at the same time, he couldn't stop thinking that he made no difference in Taehyung's life anymore. Just like when Tae didn't text back when Jungkook canceled their plans.
But while he was giving his all to make everything work out, going out of his way to meet Taehyung halfway and making efforts for them, Taehyung seemed to be fighting for what felt like the exact opposite.
"What about you, Jungkook? How has your college experience been?" Namjoon questioned him when Taehyung gave a break for the talk to be directed to his boyfriend, sitting silently by his side.
Jungkook's eyes widened with surprise at being addressed so suddenly, but his brain was rushing with thoughts. He wanted to answer "a nightmare" because he could barely see Taehyung.
But after hearing Taehyung talk so well about his experience, how he met new people and how he was doing everything he loved, Jungkook felt stupid. He felt stupid to feel so miserable just because he didn't have more time alone with Taehyung.
He had gone about all of this the wrong way, getting into the university just to be closer to Taehyung, moving into an apartment with the prospect of having better quality time with his boyfriend... When, in reality, they barely spent time together there.
Jungkook was doing everything to revolve around Taehyung's undermost free time, and it was exhausting.
"Jungkook!" Yoongi called for him when the boy froze with his eyes wide, his gaze lost in the abyss of his thoughts.
"Sorry."
"You spaced out," Taehyung commented with a sweet chuckle, to which Jungkook smiled awkwardly.
"I just remembered I was invited to a party." He commented randomly.
"Really? A college party? Those are always so fun!" Jimin cheered. He was about to graduate with his master's, so he barely had time for those parties when his thesis was taking all his sanity away.
"If you're invited, that means you made new friends," Yoongi affirmed with a raised eyebrow.
He knew his brother to be such an antisocial person, barely able to make friends because of his introverted personality. So it was a good surprise to hear him imply he was becoming more open to such relationships.
"Not really... It was just one of my teammates. Well, I think we're getting closer; maybe we could be friends." He said this, thinking more specifically about Yug.
"So you haven't made any friends since the start of the school year?" Seokjin questioned him with a frown.
It had already been 7 months since the beginning of the year, and even though the first months were overwhelming and chaotic, around the 2nd semester, the alumni were more used to it and more than able to form some connections.
"He has always been the antisocial kid." Namjoon teased with a chuckle.
"College is a good place to change that," Hoseok commented, to which everyone agreed with hums and nods.
"I guess I just hadn't allowed myself to think of that before; I had other priorities in mind," Jungkook said with a shrug. "But now... I think I'll give it a try." He nodded in agreement and Hoseok and Jimin cheered.
"Then you should go to the party you were invited to!" Jimin encouraged him excitedly.
"He hates parties," Taehyung commented with a roll of his eyes, as if his words were the ultimate answer to his brother's suggestion.
"I think I'll go after dinner," Jungkook added, contradicting and surprising Taehyung.
"After dinner?" Taehyung questioned him, against the cheers his brothers were giving Jungkook. "But I thought we would go back to your apartment to watch movies." He commented with a sad pout.
"Maybe we could reschedule?" Jungkook answered with a shrug.
"Reschedule? To when?"
"I don't know, Tae. To when we have free time," Jungkook answered with a peeved sigh, seemingly disinterested in the fact that they barely had time alone, which made Taehyung feel a tad bit annoyed.
"My free time is tonight!" He said it a bit louder, making the others at the table stop their crossed talk and realize something was wrong with the younger couple.
Jungkook stopped a second to think before bursting, trying to give Taehyung a chance to meet him halfway, something he had always refused to do for his own reasons. Reasons that Jungkook partially understood but that he was able to tackle down with his boyfriend by his side.
"Maybe you could come with me to the party." He suggested.
"And stand out in your homophobic jock-filled party?" Taehyung answered with a humorless chuckle, arms crossed defensively over his chest.
"This is not high school; people are more open in college, you said yourself just a few minutes ago. Besides, I'm gay, and I'm a jock." He counter-argued.
"You don't look like one," Taehyung answered with a roll of his eyes, a motion that he had picked up from his new group of friends and that annoyed Jungkook.
"For god's sake, again with that! What do I have to do to look gay? Wear gaudy clothes like you?" His back-handed comment came out without the real intention to offend, but that was exactly what he did. He picked on his boyfriend's sorest wound and poked right at it.
"Oh, wow." Taehyung's eyes watered, and his mouth opened wide, incredulous.
"Fuck, Tae, that's not what I meant." Jungkook tried to apologize, but Taehyung got up and picked up his stuff, ready to leave.
"Fuck you." He said this, turning around to look at Jungkook before walking out. Jungkook was quick to follow, not letting his boyfriend run away before further apologizing.
"Tae, wait! Please, I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to look down on your looks, I promise. But that's exactly what I unintentionally did, so I'm really sorry for hurting your feelings. I'm just so tired of hearing people judge me because of my appearance."
Taehyung stopped in his tracks and turned around abruptly, almost making Jungkook collide with him.
"That's fucking great coming from you, who was never bullied by your looks. Poor you, who's so misunderstood because you look like a mysterious bad boy."
"Boys, calm down, please," Seokjin said once they finally reached the duo.
The siblings came right after them, leaving their partners behind to close the restaurant bill. They didn't want to exactly interfere, but they also didn't want their maknae's fight to blow up out of proportion.
"I'm trying here, Tae; what more do you want me to do? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness?" Jungkook questioned him with a mix of desperation and tiredness.
He really didn't know how much more he could fight for them. Maybe this was Taehyung's way to break them up, but Jungkook still had a bit more of a fight left in him. He just needed the right queue to know when to stop.
"Jungkook, let it go; he's upset, and pushing it won't help," Yoongi suggested, pulling his brother back to give a bit of space between the two.
"You both should take some time apart until you calm down." Jimin proposed right after, also putting himself between Jungkook and his younger brother. Jungkook chuckled humorlessly and shook his head, feeling anger rise.
"More time apart? That's all we have been doing since the beginning of the year—taking time apart because we don't have fucking time to be together."
"And when we do, you decide to go to a party!" Taehyung accused and Jungkook's face locked in a scary expression, pure anger filling him up to the point his brother had to hold him back.
Not because Jungkook would do something aggressive against Taehyung or anyone else there, but because he could regret acting any other way that could give the wrong impression.
"I'm so fucking sorry if I realized I'm a miserable fucker who doesn't have friends and is doing his fucking hardest to spend some time with you, even if it fucking tires me!"
Jungkook muttered with gritted teeth and a hoarse voice, from all the contained anger he was holding back, so he wouldn't scream at Taehyung all that had been bottled up for so long.
"If you're so miserable, then leave!" And that seemed to be the queue Jungkook was waiting for, a clear indication that Taehyung didn't want to do this anymore.
"Tae..." Seokjin called him, trying to make him realize he had indirectly pushed them for a breakup. If Taehyung realized, he wouldn't retract himself.
Jungkook's body relaxed after Taehyung's words. It was like all the tension and anger he had boiling up suddenly faded away, and his body sagged, tired.
"That was what I was trying to do by going to the party. I was trying to find something that doesn't only revolve around you." He said it with a low, jaded tone.
"It was my mistake to make my life an earth revolving around your sun in the first place, not yours." He said it with a sad smile, not being able to look at Taehyung as tears slid down his eyes.
"But it seems that nothing between us is working out anymore, isn't it?" He questioned, finally looking Taehyung in the eyes, seeing the same weariness shining in his lackluster eyes.
"It isn't." He affirmed, and there was no need for any more words to understand what was implicit there.
"Okay, you two, no breaking up amid a storm!" Seokjin stepped in. "Taehyung, you're coming home with us! Yoongi-ah, take care of your brother, and Namjoon-ah, try to put some sense into him, please." Seokjin asked with a demanding tone.
"That's a lot to ask," Namjoon commented with a nervous chuckle.
"We already have to deal with one hurt party; do we need to do your job too?" Jimin questioned defensively, but his tone pissed Yoongi off.
"Jimin, don't." Hoseok intervened. "I'm sorry; feelings are out of place here. We're going!"
"Yeah, it's better before we find ourselves fighting too," Yoongi said, grabbing Jungkook by the arm and turning him around.
The two maknae were dragged off in opposite directions and the more they walked away from each other, the more finite their last words felt.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
They all leave for their respective places. Taehyung goes to Jimin and Hoseok's apartment with Seokjin trailing behind, while Yoongi and Namjoon go back to Jungkook's apartment. Separately, but in tandem, the younger couple opened up and cried their hearts out with their hyungs.
In exchange, they got consoled with cuddles and some advice. A scolding was in the midst of it, as the elder tried to put into perspective the other side of the coin and how they should really tell everything they are guarding, even if they think it's pointless or futile.
"If it bothers, then it's not pointless."
"If you're hurting, then it's not futile."
They said, respectively.
They were different words, but the message was the same. But the maknae-duo still had their reservations because when they tried to talk, things would get messy, and they would end up fighting.
So the other piece of advice was not to just talk but to make an effort to understand the other person's side.
People say communication is talking about what goes on in your mind and heart, but the most important part of healthy communication is listening, and that was where the young couple was failing.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The couple spent the weekend apart, without exchanging words. Monday came, and nothing, still. It was not like they were waiting for the other to come, but rather they were still processing everything that happened, everything that went wrong, reviewing where they went wrong instead of finding fault in the other.
And that was why Taehyung was taking the first step forward, knowing that all this time it had been Jungkook doing it.
Taehyung felt himself sweating coldly as he approached the sports field of their college. He had so many bad memories associated with jocks that he steered away from everything related to them. He wanted to rejoice with good memories only and forget all about his past.
However, along the way, he ended up neglecting Jungkook too because, indirectly, Jungkook was part of his bad memories. And that was unfair to Jungkook, who only made Taehyung's last two years of high school a dream and who showed him how beautiful, brilliant, and funny Tae was.
Who made him feel less lonely, less like a fake who just pretended that nothing and no one bothered him, who tried to always shower others with kindness while in return he only received harshness.
Taehyung didn't regret being like that, but he didn't want to be like that anymore. He wanted to be free and not worry about how he had to act, so when he entered college, he surrounded himself with people who were just like him.
People that had gone through the same, people that looked like him, that had the same taste in clothes, in music, in fashion. Jungkook was his opposite in many ways and forms, but being with him didn't feel like a chore to make it work.
It actually felt like their opposites attracted and complemented each other. They, too, had similar tastes, like art, video games, and comfort food. With Jungkook, Taehyung could say without a doubt that he felt like he belonged.
So after hearing his brothers talk some sense into him, he saw how he wasn't being fair to Jungkook. Jungkook, who was trying to meet Taehyung halfway all the time. Jungkook, whom Taehyung took for granted.
So now he threw caution to the wind as he walked towards the place he had been running away from since the start, the sports field. His heart thrummed so erratically that it started to hurt, but he wouldn't chicken out.
Jungkook was always the one coming to him; now Taehyung would go to him, no matter what it cost. Even though at the dinner date night he almost agreed to their break-up, once his anger cooled down, he realized his mistake.
Taehyung didn't want to lose Jungkook; he still loved him so much, but he didn't know if Jungkook still wanted him. Maybe he really got tired of running after Taehyung and making all the efforts on his own. Perhaps it was too late, but Tae still wanted to try.
As he approached the field where the baseball team was practicing, he noticed several alumni in the bleachers, some there in groups either studying or rooting for the team, others just hanging out by themselves.
Not all of them were there for the sports teams; the bleachers were just a common spot on the campus to relax and hang out while life happened in the background. Taehyung would've done the same, just for the vibes, if he didn't feel his skin crawl to even be near jocks.
Nonetheless, he forced his eyes to the field, searching among the group of men for his boyfriend (or ex—that much he still had to figure out once he found Jungkook). He couldn't see him there in the field, but Taehyung knew it was his practice time.
The baseball team had a big one coming, so they were having almost everyday practices. So unless Jungkook was skipping those, he should be here, but he wasn't. Taehyung was getting restless at being there, but he wouldn't leave, even if something bad happened.
Jungkook deserved all his efforts.
A group of jocks started walking in his direction, and Taehyung felt his heart pick up and his feet back out. The guys were laughing, but they weren't even looking at him; they were just conversing between them.
They stopped at a bench that was a few steps in front of Tae and grabbed some towels and a bottle of water, downing them absentmindedly and unaware of Taehyung's presence. That is, until one of them looked up and crossed eyes with him, staring for a few seconds before looking around, as if searching for someone.
Taehyung was almost giving up on finding Jungkook, at least for now, when the same guy rounded the bench after saying some words to the others and walked towards Taehyung.
"Are you Taehyung?" He questioned, making Taehyung's eyes widen in shock. "You're Jungkook's boyfriend, right? You fit the description he gave."
"What? What- description?" He asked with a tight grip around his heart and throat.
"The embodiment of love and happiness."
"Oh..." Those words were like a punch to his stomach. Jungkook loved him so much, and he never feared letting anyone know about his love.
"He just left out the part where you're fucking beautiful; damn, he hit the jackpot!" The jock added to Taehyung's surprise.
He sounded so nonchalant about Taehyung's queerness, and it reminded him of Jungkook's words on the dinner date night. College was different, and the people were different from high school. Taehyung already knew that, but he still had fears and prejudice, and he let himself get consumed by them and push away the best thing he ever had.
"Sorry, I'm speaking my elbows out. I'm Yugyeom." The jock presented himself with a wide grin.
"H-hi, is Jungkook here?" He asked with a dry throat and shaky voice.
"I think he's still in the locker room; I can go call for him if you want me to." Taehyung shook his head at the proposal; he wanted to be the one approaching Jungkook, so he wouldn't be able to turn him down.
"Do you think he's there alone?"
"I guess... the others are out already. I can take you there." He suggested, to which Taehyung nodded curtly, swallowing bricks.
They had to cross the field to reach the other side, where the locker room was, which meant crossing paths with the other jock.
Taehyung couldn't help but still feel apprehensive. Maybe it was just Yugyeom who was different. So when they pass by the other team players, their eyes stretch to look at Taehyung walking by.
Taehyung was scared shitless that they would start making rude comments or bullying him, but instead, they actually whistled and complimented him in nasty ways he never expected jocks to do. Not to a man.
"Yah, drop it! He's JK's boyfriend." Yugyeom said sternly, and the team shut up immediately, mumbling out "sorrys" that actually sounded sincere.
Taehyung was slightly taken aback, but then again, he was not actually surprised. College was really different from high school; people were more open there, less mean, more mature, and actually kind. Maybe not everyone as a whole, but nobody seemed to care about appearances or about who was the weakest link.
Right then and there, Taehyung was fully certain he had been pushing Jungkook away for nothing but his fears and pride.
Taehyung's mind rolled back to when they met—how Taehyung kept persisting with Jungkook, teasing him, sending him sweet notes, gifting him banana milk, pushing all Jungkook's buttons until they popped, and he unfolded around Taehyung.
If Taehyung fell first, Jungkook fell harder. And maybe that was an understatement.
"You both seem shaken up. I hope that whatever is going wrong, you guys can make it better." Yugyeom said, as his piece of advice, that even if Taehyung didn't ask, he still welcomed him.
"Yeah, I hope so too." He smiled softly.
"Good luck," Yugyeom said, leaving Taehyung.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Taehyung feels like he's back in high school, but not for the same reasons as before. PE used to be the most horrific time for Taehyung, but it changed to something somewhat pleasing and tolerable after Jungkook enrolled.
PE was the only class they shared, and it was the only time they usually interacted personally before they started to hang out together after school. And when they started to date, before they became public, it was the place where they most flirted and teased each other.
The people who used to bother Taehyung became specs at the back of Taehyung's mind, where Jungkook was the main focus. Jungkook made high school turn from a nightmare to a fairy tale, just for his existence.
And now Taehyung felt so stupid for pushing away the one who made it all a bearable and happy memory. He wanted things to be so different from his high school experience that he completely erased the fact that Jungkook had already changed high school for him.
So as he walked into the locker room, Taehyung felt a wave of shame and guilt weighing him down, his feet heavily dragging and his head hanging low as he finally spotted Jungkook lying on a bench.
"Did the coach arrive already?" Jungkook asked without opening his eyes, having heard someone arrive without any clue of who it was.
"I don't think so," Taehyung spoke, and Jungkook snapped his eyes open and got up in a blink, staring wide-eyed at the other.
"Tae..." He breathed the name out, but suddenly his countenance changed to a grim face. "What are you doing here?" Taehyung flinches at the cold tone and rash words, but it was somewhat of an expected reaction.
"I-I came to apologize." Taehyung stuttered slightly but said his words firmly, even if he was trembling inside.
"For the dinner?" Jungkook asked with a raised eyebrow.
"For everything." Taehyung breathed out.
"I was so unfair to you, so stuck in my own shit, trying not to have a repeat of high school, that I unknowingly pushed you away. I was so selfish, only caring about my well-being, that I neglected you. Us." He started speaking, unable to look up at Jungkook's face.
"I don't expect you to take me back, but I really want to apologize for how much I hurt you, and I'm so fucking mad at myself for taking this long to realize how stupid I was. It took me losing you, and it shouldn't have. I'm really sorry, Kook."
His eyes watered immediately as he continued apologizing, his hands trembling, and Jungkook listened silently. But when Taehyung broke down in a sobbing mess at the end of his speech, the jock couldn't take being distant and cold anymore, so he got up and brought Taehyung into his arms, hugging him tightly.
"We're both in the wrong Tae." Jungkook started when the other calmed down a bit.
"I made dating you my future's only goal, and I shouldn't have. I only cared to be near you, to be with you all the time, because I didn't know what to do with myself." He confessed, and Taehyung broke the hug just enough to look into Jungkook's eyes and sniffle a little. But before he could say something, Jungkook continued.
"I hate being in college, but I enrolled because I wanted to be near you and I didn't want to look like a creep by just moving in near your university and doing nothing for myself. You were happy, and I felt miserable because I had nothing going on besides doing something I hated. I'm not very social, but I shut down every attempt people made to befriend me because I wanted all my free time to be spent with you. And that wasn't fair on you, who was just getting the group of friends you always wanted to have but never could because of stupid homophobic little shits. You and I are different; we're opposites, but we work together." He finished off, cleaning Taehyung's teary face and looking at him lovingly.
"We do." Taehyung agreed, but before a smile could erupt, a frown made its way instead. "You really broke up with me?" It was less of a question and more of an unsure statement.
"I thought it was something you wanted."
"It's not!" Taehyung firmly stated it with a vehement negative head shake. "Do you want to break up with me?" He asked, still unsure if their talking it out would make things go back to normal or if it was still too late for them.
"Never in a million years, Tae, but we have to work this out," Jungkook assured, cradling the other's face and squeezing it until Taehyung's lips formed a beak that Jungkook was unable not to peck. Taehyung giggled, but he pushed Jungkook, so they could finish their serious talk.
"We will make this work, I promise! I'll come to watch your games, and we'll make group friend hang-outs-" He started to plan it out, but Jungkook interrupted him immediately.
"I don't have friends." Taehyung rolled his eyes.
"Your teammates, then. At least the cool ones." He said it with a shrug. "Also, Yugyeom seems like a friend to me."
"You met him? And I don't know if I have cool teammates; I barely know them outside the field."
"He was the one who brought me here." He explained. "And some of your teammates seem nice, at least the ones who tried to jokingly flirt with me."
"They wha- point them out to me, so I can never become friends with them!" Jungkook's demeanor turned angry in a millisecond after incredulity washed over him at Taehyung's words.
"Stop it," Taehyung said, full-on giggling. "They apologized once Yugyeom told them I was your boyfriend. So don't go creating enemies instead of friends." He added it with a warning finger pointed at Jungkook.
"It wouldn't be for long, anyway." Jungkook shrugged, calmer, pulling Taehyung closer by his waist as he seemed hesitant to speak more.
"What do you mean?" Taehyung asked as he tried to read the feeling clouding Jungkook's countenance.
"I'm considering dropping out," Jungkook confessed with a dropped octave.
"For real?" Taehyung's eyes widened as his voice grew thinner at the unexpected affirmation. Jungkook nodded, his head lowering to avoid Taehyung, who raised his chin so they could see each other.
"I don't see myself doing anything with the degrees. I'm already good at art and photography, so I think I'll just jump to working with it." Taehyung nodded in accordance.
"Do you have something in mind?"
"Dad wanted to open a new tattoo parlor, but he was unsure where he would set it up. I saw a store for renting a few blocks from the university that would be perfect for the parlor. Mom had already offered me a job as a tattoo artist before I told her I would enroll in college. I can't actually tattoo anyone for now, but I can make the drawings and even do some photoshoots of the clients' tats. So I guess I can talk to my parents and tell them about the store and about me dropping out to join them." Jungkook told and Taehyung listened with devoted attention and interest.
"That- that would be amazing! The store being so close to the university will definitely attract so many students. And after I finish my degrees, I can make a clothing-line and expose it at the store; we could combine our businesses!" He excitedly added in rampant.
"You're already thinking ahead," Jungkook said with a smirk, squeezing Taehyung's love handles.
"My future is with you if you want me, Kook. I love you with all my heart." Taehyung said as he slid his arms around Jungkook's neck and pressed their bodies closer.
"Of course, I want you more than anything," Jungkook affirmed, resting his forehead against Tae's, breaths mingling and lips lingering impossibly close. "I love you too, Tae, so much." He mumbled, his lips brushing against Taehyung's, ready to deepen and seal their reconciliation.
"Okay, mushy love boys, the sappy party is over. Jeon Jungkook, back on the field." Another voice suddenly said, snapping the two out of each other's arms with a startle.
The coach was right at the entrance of the locker room, hands resting on his hips, looking at the two without a hint of amusement. The couple looked sheepishly back at each other and quickly left the room when the coach blew the whistle, startling them again.
The other jocks whistled at them when the couple passed by them with intertwined hands. Even though all eyes were on them, Jungkook sometimes liked to 'make it big or make it home'. And just like when they first came out in public about their relationship, Jungkook kissed Taehyung breathlessly, under the cheers of the crowd.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Taehyung never thought it would come to this. If, many months ago, anyone had told him he would thrive among the jocks and their crew, Taehyung would certainly think they were crazy. But here he was, surrounded by cheerleaders, jocks fans, and some jocks too, talking to him so casually and so friendly that sometimes it gave him whiplash.
It happened naturally.
They didn't swarm him immediately the first time he came to watch Jungkook's practice. But as he kept appearing to watch him or to pick him up, slowly people started to approach him.
And now, it almost looked like he was the main event whenever he showed up. He almost considered applying for the cheering squad, since it was something he always dreamt of doing, but it was his first year, and he didn't have much time to dedicate to it.
"Maybe next year, then." The cheerleading captain suggested and Taehyung nodded excitedly.
"YA, KIM TAEHYUNG!" Jungkook yelled his name, approaching him and the group that surrounded him with long strides and an angry pout.
Taehyung's eyes widened as if he had been caught red-handed, but he already knew what his boyfriend was going to say.
"What!?" He replied with a scowl.
"Are you here for me or them? You didn't watch me train!" Jungkook said accusingly, breaking through the crowd, which let him pass with teasing giggles.
Jungkook hadn't yet dropped out of college, only in consideration for his team, which had an important game in less than a month. And Jungkook's sudden absence would create a dent in their team's game tactics.
"I did! I was just-" Taehyung tried to defend himself, but he was interrupted by Yugyeom.
"Chill, Jeony boy, your boyfriend is a popular guy; he's like a flame drawing moths to it. You can't blame him for always having everyone around him."
"Geez, I've never seen this side of the broody emo boy!" One of the cheerleaders said it with a taunting grin.
"What can I say? I'm a jealous guy who wants my boyfriend's attention all on me," Jungkook said with a shrug, pulling Taehyung closer by the waist and kissing him senselessly.
"Ya, stop it, you exhibitionist." Another one of the jocks said, punching Jungkook's arm and pulling him off of Taehyung as everyone around them laughed.
"We definitely know who the baby of the two is. Clingy Jeon." They kept mocking and Taehyung nodded as Jungkook made an offended grimace.
"Enough of the bullying; we're leaving," Jungkook said, interlacing their hands and pulling Taehyung away from the sports field.
"Bring Tae to the party next weekend!" A cheerleader said that, but as Taehyung was about to answer, Jungkook tugged him closer and spoke before him.
"We'll see!" He yelled without looking back to make sure they had heard.
"Stop being grumpy and jealous." Taehyung reprimanded with a chuckle.
"I don't like them hogging you when you're here for me." He pouted and Taehyung laughed to the point of his head falling back and almost losing balance.
"You're so silly."
"I know," Jungkook said proudly.
It was all just a joke; Jungkook wasn't actually jealous, but as he grew closer to most of his teammates and the cheerleading squad, much due to Taehyung, he also became goofier. It was a new side to him that surprised everyone, but not Taehyung. Taehyung already knew this side of his boyfriend very well.
"Do you have anything else planned for today?" Taehyung asked as they walked back to Jungkook's car.
"Nope, all free."
"Then can we just go home and laze around?" Taehyung asked.
"Sure." Jungkook agreed enthusiastically, ignoring the part where his boyfriend called his apartment "home."
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
After they arrived and settled on the couch, with a movie playing in the background, Taehyung fidgeted with the blanket that was covering them. Jungkook had already noticed that Taehyung seemed to want to say something all the way back, but he didn't press into it, knowing that eventually, Taehyung would speak about what was going on in his mind.
"Kook." He finally spoke, even if seemingly hesitant.
"Hm?"
"I've been thinking..." He started, his eyes fixed on the blanket, and Jungkook just patiently waited. "I've been sleeping really badly for a long time now. My bed is too cranky, the mattress is stiff, my neighbors are loud, and overall, the room is too stuffy. I guess I just pushed myself to stay there for the whole narrative of living the college experience, but it eventually became just an excuse." Jungkook was surprised by the topic but still unsure where it was going.
"An excuse for what?"
"For me not being ready... for the next step." He said it reluctantly.
"Next step?" Jungkook questioned, genuinely confused.
"S-e-x." Jungkook took a moment to process what the other said, just because it was that unexpected.
"Did you really spell it out?" He questioned before bursting into laughter, overwhelmed with his boyfriend's cuteness and shyness over such a normal topic. But knowing how abashed Taehyung could sometimes be, it was expected.
"Stop mocking me," Taehyung whined, and he slapped Jungkook's arm until he stopped laughing. Eventually, Jungkook stopped laughing, hugging Taehyung, and kissing his temple.
"I would never pressure you into it."
"I know! The issue wasn't about you pressuring me, but about me- me giving into it." He spoke, starting so intensely and sure, but finishing sheepishly.
"I know nothing about gay sex; porn surely doesn't help, and all the research I did left me with a ton of questions. I'm scared of doing it wrong, of feeling pain, of not enjoying it, of being dirty..." There was so much to unravel from what Taehyung had just said, but Jungkook decided not to prod and turn Taehyung into an exploding tomato.
"We can learn everything together. I mean, we also have our brothers to ask questions."
"NO! That would be so fucking embarrassing!"
"Maybe if we talked to our brothers, but what if we talked to each other's brothers?" Jungkook suggested and Taehyung frowned and looked up retrospectively.
"Like, I talk with Yoongi Hyung, and you talk with Jimin Hyung?"
"Yes." Taehyung thought a bit more, but then he shook his head disapprovingly.
"It would still be awkward... I don't think I could talk with Yoongi Hyung."
"Maybe Namjoon Hyung?"
"And Hobi Hyung!" Taehyung clapped as if he had had an epiphany.
"Ok, maybe not our brothers but their partners would be better."
"YES!" Jungkook chuckled at Taehyung's enthusiasm, letting go completely of the fact that they were talking about the next-next step in their relationship because he figured Taehyung was not ready to have that talk.
"Okay. Do you want to do it together?"
"We could invite them two to a hang-out..." Taehyung said it pensively.
"Our brothers will be suspicious."
"Let them be!" Taehyung said it with an angry pout.
"Ok, if you say so." Jungkook chuckled and kissed his cheek.
"But back to the topic."
"Sex?" Jungkook questioned cheekily.
"No! Stop it; don't say it aloud." Taehyung whined, pushing Jungkook away, embarrassed.
"You're so fucking cute, gosh, I love you." Jungkook gritted, pulling Taehyung closer in a squeezing hug.
"Sap! I love you too." Taehyung giggled, hiding in the crook of Jungkook's neck. "But I meant the topic of me being uncomfy at the dorm..."
"What about it?"
"I want to move in," Taehyung mumbled, lips latched on Jungkook's skin, breath almost ticklish. Jungkook would've squirmed and giggled if the words hadn't taken him aback.
"In? As in with me?" Jungkook questioned him, surprised.
"If you still want it..." Taehyung shrugged, still unable to look back at Jungkook and hiding with his head on his shoulder.
"Are you sure?" Taehyung nodded and finally decided to detach himself and look up.
"Now that you will drop out and that we have solved our issues, I want to spend more time with you. I want to come home to you, sleep beside you, and wake up with you... I'm sorry I was such a coward."
"It's okay, Tae. We're just kids figuring ourselves out."
"We are, aren't we?" Taehyung questioned him with calmness washing over him. That statement made him relax as he realized he was still just a kid, barely an adult, still exploring the world and himself.
"Hm, but we will learn to grow up and mature together."
"I want that. And I also want to grow old with you." He said it with a shy smile.
"Who's being a sap now?" Jungkook teased and Taehyung giggled, but he still asked with all seriousness.
"Would you want that?"
"Of course, Tae. Even if we're young, I already see myself growing old with you, adopting a few pets, marrying-"
"Marrying? You want to marry?" Taehyung interrupted, shocked at the prospect.
"If it's with you, I do," Jungkook affirmed, cupping Taehyung's face and kissing his lips tenderly.
"Oh god! I thought it wouldn't be your style! I so want to get married!" Taehyung exclaimed with an excitedly wide boxy grin and crescent moon eyes adorning his face.
"Good. When the time comes, we'll marry." Jungkook assured him as a promise.
"Okay! I'll wait."
"Stop being cute, or I'll propose right here and now." Jungkook said as he attacked Taehyung with tickles and kisses, hearing his favorite sound as an echo, his boyfriend's laughter.
"No! Not now, too soon." Taehyung whined, pushing Jungkook off of him.
"Okay, my whiny baby, not now." He agreed, sitting up and pulling Taehyung to his lap, so they could get back to sitting as they were. "In 5 years, then?"
Taehyung couldn't help but grin widely, giddily squirming and hiding in Jungkook's chest and then nodding.
"Hm, 5 years sounds good."
"It's a promise, then."
"It's a promise."
THE END OF PART 2
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a/n: I have plans for a smut chapter but it won't be soon, so add the book to your library to receive the notification when I drop it XD