An Alpha set on wooing his Howl is a man who doesn't know exactly what the hell to do with himself. An Alpha had never before had to woo his Howl -- basic biological urges took care of that for him and everything fell neatly into place as the two came together, tearing off clothes to get at one another in a frantic frenzy, canines descending a bit, eyes glowing, little growls coming out instead of words at times.
Because Night had given his word to me that we'd take it slow, he was having to fight both his nature and his wolf -- and he was doing it to give me time. To settle. To process all of the craziness that had taken place since my birthday. For an Alpha, that was a huge concession.
I know I've pushed you and ruined our Taking of the Blood, but I'm not pushing any more, Neera, I promise. You're my Howl, and even though my instinct is to move fast with you, I can take it slow.
My instinct made me want to move faster, too, but I fought it and made sure we were moving slowly. Of course I knew where we'd end up. That was given, a foregone conclusion that was absolutely inevitable, but I wasn't taking the direct path there. The human part of me liked the idea of being pursued and dated, building a relationship that was based on feelings and not instinctual urges.
It's going to take about five months for our house to be built, and we're going to use that time to get to know each other without the pressure of needing to save the wolf world on our shoulders.
We may not have had the pressure of saving the wolf world on our shoulders, but we sure as hell had the pressure of hormones -- out of control, raging, intense, unrelenting -- on our shoulders. Every time I was near him, my wolf sat up, right along with my human hormones and reached out for him. And the man knew it, because his canines would descend and he'd fill his lungs with me, then turn and stalk away a few yards, muttering to himself. Although maybe he was fighting his wolf, because I'd heard him snap, I'm not humping her damn leg, so just shut the fuck up about that! one time in utter frustration.
But for an Alpha who didn't know exactly how to woo his Howl, he was making a surprisingly good effort -- he was funny, he was a little goofy, he was eager to please and he was charming as hell. But underneath all of it was a sweetness that couldn't be denied. He was like a...wolf pup, bouncing energy, happy to be around me, wanting my attention and lapping up any notice I gave him.
With every other pack member, he was Alpha -- decisive, controlling, firm, caring, rock-steady. Strong as hell. I was getting another side of him that no other pack member ever had, not even Lindsay Morgan when Ifrita was controlling her. For three years, despite being enchanted to believe he was in love with Lindsay Morgan, Night had never behaved toward her the way he was acting with me.
I thought back to the day after we had killed the magicks, when we honored the wolves who had offered their necks so Raevyn and Ifrita could be destroyed. We all gathered around the bonfire as Night addressed all of us.
"We honor Blaisall and Lindsay Morgan today, for without their obedience to a decree, without their willingness to lift up their heads and show their throats, our pack would no longer be. We send them, with our thanks, on their journey back home."
Solemnly, we all watched as their wolves' bodies turned to ash so they would become part of the earth again, and their spirits would ride to the Forces on the flames that leapt up into the sky. I searched Night's face for any signs of distress for Lindsay Morgan's death, I even reached out through our bond, but there was nothing except gratitude that she and Blaisall had bared their necks.
He sought me out after he touched hands with all of the pack members. The rumors had been flying about exactly what had gone down the previous day, and everyone needed reassurance through the Alpha's touch to calm and help settle them down.
I lingered beside him as the last of the wolves left the funeral pyre, and he pressed his hand to the back of my head, smoothing my hair.
"I feel better with them burned and the houses they were in burned," Night said suddenly. "I wanted to make sure no lingering magic survived, if that was even a remote possibility."
"That makes sense," I agreed, "since we don't know exactly what we were dealing with or what they were capable of."
"They were capable of great destruction," he said with sadness, then he turned to me. "I don't want you thinking I feel anything for her. I felt you searching through the bond, and you couldn't find anything because there's nothing there. Magic made me say I had feelings for her, but it was never anything real."
"I know," I said. "I just wanted to make sure. Three years..."
"You never need to worry, little Howl. My affections are focused on you and only you."
I'd played with the locket he'd given me the day before. "I know, Alpha," I said using the name I hadn't used for him respectfully since my ill-fated birthday.
"Don't," he said sharply, his body suddenly going rigid.
"Don't what?"
"Don't call me Alpha like that. From pack members, it's a title of respect, of acknowledging my authority. But from you, Neera, it's a verbal signal that I'm your Alpha and you're my Howl...and you're offering me your submission so I can fucking dominate you."
"Oh-kay," I said, making a mental note not to use that term.
Yet.
"I'm going to do my damnedest to take it slow with you, Neera. You deserve that after what you went through. But when I tell you that it's going to take a lot of control, trust me on that. My wolf is driving me hard to take you, and I'm right there with him, but my human side still has control. I need you not to test that."
So I was careful not to push him, partly because I had wanted to see what taking it slow was like. If it was even something wolves were capable of. We never really got the chance to fall in love -- you found your Destined One and were drawn together and the feelings were intense -- and then those feelings just naturally became love? Or were those feelings called love because the physical aspect of the relationship was so overwhelmingly powerful? I'd wondered that as I'd watched Destined Ones together. Would they be together if they hadn't been brought together by the Forces? Would they have ever found each other otherwise?
Wanting to find out the answers to those questions helped me to take it slow -- that and pushing back my wolf when she wanted to come out and play. I knew she hated waiting -- when Night had decreed the shift, she was already in motion, heading to bite him right away. Wolves were pure instinct and urge...it was our human sides that had to develop and grow feelings.
I let Night woo me, as he called it. I think the whole pack was watching, amused, baffled, entertained. Every time he saw me, he'd stop what he was doing and head over to me. When I went to the Den for my meals, he was always there, on the lookout for me.
"Hi, Neera," he'd say all happy-eyed and smiling. Smiling! As Alpha, he was serious, somewhat stern-faced, but his face was practically shining with joy when he came near me. If he'd been shifted, his tail would have been going a mile a minute. "I saved you a seat at my table. Do you and your friends want to sit with us?"
Us was Aymeric and Néron. I looked at Echo and Owena and they shrugged, so we went over to join them, Night walking right beside me. Smiling.
"Here, you can sit right next to me," Night said as he pulled out a chair for me.
"Thanks," I smiled back at him, trying not to laugh at his eagerness as my friends found chairs for themselves.
"Hey, Meri," Echo said. "Nice to see you using utensils. Didn't know you had that skill."
Aymeric slammed down his fork and knife and pointed a finger at Echo. "Watch your mouth, little wolf."
"Why?" she shot back. "Was utensils too big of a word for you to understand?"
"So," I interrupted, trying to prevent a murder. Whose I wasn't sure, but I strongly suspected Aymeric was almost coming out of his skin. Echo seemed to rub him the wrong way. "Anyone binge watch any good shows lately?"
"No, but if you want, we could watch TV tonight," Night offered, leaning close. I turned suddenly, and I swear -- no kidding -- he'd been about to lick my face. What the fuck?
"Sure, we can do that," I agreed. He backed away a bit, still smiling, eyes shining.
Night had to stay to touch hands with the pack members after we finished dinner, and Owena was laughing at him on our way out the door. My ever-present guard followed closely behind.
"You're going to make Alpha lose his mind," she said. "He's never going to make it until your house is built."
"He'll be fine. He's just like a...like a happy little boy around me."
"He's like a happy little boy when you look at him," Echo said. "But when you aren't looking -- hoo, boy. He's almost savage the way he watches you."
"Like he's about to take you to the ground and put you on all fours," Owena added.
"He promised to give me time."
"Yeah," Owena said. "Night promised. That doesn't mean his wolf's on board with the plan."
So, here we were, four months after we honored Blaisall and Lindsay Morgan, about a month before our house was ready, and Night was getting ready to leave my apartment after spending the evening with me, as he always did. I knew that the minute he left, he'd shift and run for half the night because he had some serious energy he needed to expend. Every time I saw him lately, his wolf was making himself known and Night was having to back him down more and more frequently. Keeping his word was requiring tremendous restraint, especially on Night's part, but his promise to me was important to him.
And our months together had been...beautiful. Illuminating. I discovered there was so much more to Night than I ever suspected, than he ever showed to his pack. He was no longer just Alpha to me; he was a man with great depth and thoughtfulness and consideration. Even sweetness, and that aspect, I knew, was solely for me. No one else would ever get that like I did. As I was falling in love with him, I hoped he was discovering things about me that he liked just as well, and that he was falling for me, too.
Tonight, as he stood up from my couch, his wolf was right there and Night was looking a wee bit feral. The veins in his neck were straining, and his muscles were flexing and rippling as he fought his wolf for supremacy.
"I can't even kiss you goodnight right now," he said, and his voice was harsh and guttural. "Go open the door so I can just run out of here and then close it behind me fast."
Nodding, I hurried toward the door and had just barely opened it when a large hand slammed it shut from above my head. I heard a low, throaty growl right behind me and Night's massive body was pressed tight against me.
At that moment, I realized my mistake: I'd turned my back on a predator who was teetering on the edge of self control.
And who was now losing the fight after all these months of denying that very basic biological urge inherent in our natures. I stilled, hardly daring to breathe, knowing any move on my part could trigger Night into losing the battle.
He ran his nose alongside my neck, his breathing harsh and ragged so close to my ear.
"Your scent is in my very skin," he rasped. "I can smell your need for me, and I want to lap at that need before I bury my cock in you, Neera."
Then he drew his tongue down my neck and bit into that irresistible place where my neck met my shoulder. His teeth gripped my skin and held on for a minute. Then he growled again and let go, his tongue lapping at the small wound.
"Tell me to go," he ordered me. "I can. I can."
"Actually," I said, turning in his arms, "I think I'd like you to stay."
He slammed me back against the door, and lowered his face right to mine, his hand on my throat, holding me in place. Our eyes were locked on each other, intense.
I paused a moment before adding breathlessly, "Alpha."