Authors Note:
Tw:
Self harm.
Sierra does self harm in this chapter. I will put a warning before it comes incase you wanna read the rest of the chapter.
If anyone needs to talk my dms are always open!
(Sierras Pov)
It's December 1st the start of Christmas season.
Luckily I'm not sick anymore but I still have exams to worry about.
And most importantly Draco should come back today.
"Good morning." Said Mattheo kissing my forehead.
"Good morning." I said back.
Every morning Mattheo kisses my forehead and says good morning to me, I found that adorable.
(Mattheos Pov)
Yesterday was the last day I had Sierra to myself.
Of course I miss Draco but this last month without him gave me lots of time to spend with Sierra alone.
I had a month to show her they way I would treat her,
the way she deserves to be treated.
We never fought or argued. Nothing went wrong it was perfect.
I'm glad Draco's coming back but the second he he does they'll be all over each other.
I'm okay with it
I've never been the jealous type.
I mean it's bound to happen they haven't touched each other in a month.
But at the end of the day
my selfish tensions will always take over.
(Sierras Pov)
Every one sat in the slytherin common room and nervously awaited Draco's arrival.
"He should be coming any minute now." Said Lorenzo.
We waited for a bit and nothing.
"Are you guys exited for the winter dance." Said Pansy.
"I'm hyped!" Said Blaise.
"Ya I can't wait to actually dress up and dance." Said Pansy looking at Lorenzo.
"And I can't want to rip that dress off of you." Said Lorenzo.
"Do you guys already have your suits picked out?" Said Theo.
"Not yet but who cares we have so much time" said Mattheo.
"What about you Sie got a dress yet?" Asked Theo.
I was too nervous to even realize.
"Sierra." Said Mattheo nudging my shoulder.
"Oh um sorry no I don't have a dress yet." I said.
"Don't worry Draco's gonna be here any minute now." Said Theo.
An hour passed and he still didn't show.
"Well we're gonna leave now we should start studying for exams." Said Lorenzo.
Just as Pansy and Lorenzo stood up Draco apparated in.
"Draco!" I yelled.
I ran over to him and pulled him in for a hug.
He picked me up and I didn't wanna let go.
I looked at his face and it seemed as if all the life was sucked out of him.
"Draco your back." Said Lorenzo dapping him up.
Something seemed terribly wrong.
Everyone else came over to greet Draco and I noticed something.
I grabbed Draco's shirt and slightly lifted it up.
"Sierra don't." He said hitting my hand down.
It was to late.
I gasped.
"What is it?" Said Lorenzo.
"It's nothing." Draco replied.
"Show me." Said Lorenzo.
He walked over to Draco and everyone watched as Lorenzo held his shirt.
"I don't give a shit go for it." Said Draco.
Lorenzo lifted his shirt and everyone gasped as they saw the fresh bruises that covered Draco's skin.
"Mother fucker Malfoy." Said Mattheo standing up.
"What happened?" Asked Blaise.
"I don't wanna talk about it." He said.
"You,
come with me."
Said Draco grabbing my arm.
We apparated to his dorm.
"Draco do you wanna talk about it?"
"What is there to talk about. Every time my bruises faded away my dad created fresh ones. That's all there is to say." Said Draco.
I grabbed his face and looked at him. He had heavy bags under his eyes and he seemed paler then ever.
"Draco are you okay?" I asked.
"I am now." He said back.
"Anyways there's a reason I brought you here."
"What is it?"
"Sierra I need your touch, I need your hands all over me." He said grabbing my waist.
"Take your clothes off darling."
I pulled away from him.
"No." I said.
"No?" He said back.
"Draco I deeply missed you but I have shit to do."
"Like what?" He said.
"Study for exams, figure out where I'm gonna stay during winter break, and I promised Harry I would meet him today because he needed to ask me something."
He scoffed.
"I haven't seen you in a month and you choose Potter over me?" He said.
"Draco if you can last a month you can wait one more day."
"But I barely lasted a month and my time at the manor was shit don't you care about me?" He said.
"Of course I care about you but I have to go." I said walking out but he pulled my arm back.
"Don't touch me." I said shoving him away.
"Just fuck me for ten minutes that's all I ask." He said.
"I haven't seen you in a month and the first thing you do is ask me to fuck you.
What happened to how are you?" I said.
"I can ask those questions later I just need you right now."
"Draco do you look at me and only see sex or do I mean more then that?"
"Of course it's not all about sex and why are you getting mad for no reason? Is it that time of the month or something?" Asked Draco.
My jaw dropped I was in disbelief he asked that.
I mean he was right but he still shouldn't have said it.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I said with tears forming.
I walked over to the door and opened it but he slammed it shut before I could leave.
"Don't walk out on me." He said gritting his teeth.
I've never seen Draco like this, he was proper pissed.
I walked back and sat on the bed.
I sniffled and put my head in my hands.
I lifted my head back up and he walked over to me. He lifted his hand and brought it towards my face causing me to flinch.
"Why the fuck did you flinch." Draco asked angrily.
The reason I flinched was nothing more then instinct. But I was really pissed off and wanted to fuck with Draco so I said something.
Something I deeply regretted.
"I thought you were gonna hurt me."
I watched as his face dropped and his skin turned pale. He immediately backed up and put his hands in the air.
"Sierra I would never lay a finger on you." He said.
I knew he wouldn't. Draco was the last person who would ever hurt me but I wanted him to feel guilty.
"Things were perfect when you were gone." I said out of anger and immediately regretted it.
"Get the fuck out of here." Said Draco.
I walked out and slammed the door shut.
(Draco's Pov)
She ripped absolutely ripped me to shreds.
I never would have thought words were so impactful.
And it was all my fault.
All I was gonna do was move her hair out of her face but she flinched.
She fucking flinched.
The pain that ran through my body was worse then anything my father did to me.
The fact she thought I was capable of physically hurting her was heartbreaking.
After seeing the things my father did to my mother I would rather die then lay my hands on her.
And the fact that she thought I only saw for sex was almost worse. She meant so much more to me. I was just really fucking horny. And I said things out of frustration.
If I had to choose between never having sex again and never seeing Sierra again I would choose the first option no questions asked.
But the worst part is what she said to me before waking out.
Her words were engraved in my head.
"Things were perfect when you were gone."
I know my father said it but was I really that bad of a guy.
I have no idea how I'm gonna make it up to her.
I angrily punched the bed in frustration.
It's been less then an hour and I already blew it.
I looked at myself in the mirror and stared at myself.
I spent one month at home and turned into a fucking douche.
(Sierras Pov)
I knocked on Mattheos dorm.
"It's open." Said Mattheo.
I walked in and saw Theo and Mattheo talking.
"I fucked up." I said in tears.
They dropped what they were doing and walked towards me.
"It's been an hour and Malfoy already has you in tears." Said Mattheo.
"What did he do to you?" Said Theo lifting my chin.
"No it was me who fucked up this time."
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad what happened?" Asked Mattheo.
I explained the argument.
"And I knew Draco would never hurt me but I wanted to fuck with his mind so I acted like I was scared. I told him I thought he would hurt me."
I watched as Theo and Mattheo widened their eyes.
"Sierra no. You shouldn't have said that especially after seeing what his father is capable of." Said Mattheo.
"I know I feel terrible." I said.
"But that wasn't even the worst part." I said.
"I told Draco things were perfect when he was gone."
They gasped.
"Fucking hell Sierra you gotta watch what you say." Said Theo.
Guilt rushed through me and I dug my head in a pillow.
"Let's not make her feel worse then she already does." Said Mattheo.
"What the fuck are we gonna do?" Said Theo.
(Mattheos Pov)
What Sierra said was wrong on so many levels.
So why is a part of me happy knowing they fought.
It's because I want Sierra to see that Draco isn't right for her and I am.
No what am I thinking. I'm not happy they fought. I mean look at her she's devastated.
And I'm not possessive over her,
I don't think.
I mean I wasn't before but maybe after a month of her to myself, I can't stand her being with Draco.
Fuck what's gotten into me.
"I'll talk to him." I said.
"Mattheo no offense but that's probably the worst thing we could do."
She's right.
"The best thing you can do is give him a day. And then talk to him." Said Theo.
"Ok I gotta go." Said Sierra.
(Sierras Pov)
I promised Harry I would talk to him I'm not sure why though.
I knocked on his dorm and he answered.
I walked in and he handed me a cup of tea.
"Come join us we need to talk." Hermione and Ron were also there.
I took a sip of the tea and Harry shut the door.
I watched as Ron and Hermione nervously looked at each other.
"What's the matter?" I said.
"I'm so sorry Sierra." Said Harry.
"I'm the sorry one actually. I can't believe I fucked Draco over." I said out loud. I slapped my mouth.
"Why did I just say that out loud."
"Don't freak out." Said Mione.
"We put truth serum in your tea." Said Harry.
I gasped.
"You guys are fucking pricks!" I yelled.
"We just need to ask you a few questions please sit down."
I went to walk out but Harry casted a lock on the door.
"Fuck you guys." I said.
"The faster you answer the faster you can leave and we'll give you the reverse serum."
I sat down and stared at them.
I tried apparating out but I couldn't.
"What did you guys do!" I yelled.
"Are any of your friends death eaters?" Asked Mione.
"All of them." I said without thinking.
I slapped my hand over my mouth.
"No you guys can't do this!" I yelled.
I felt so betrayed.
"All of them meaning Draco, Mattheo, Theo, Lorenzo, Blaise and Pansy?" Asked Harry.
"Not not Pansy." I said.
"I thought you were the good guys I feel so betrayed."
I couldn't believe I was spilling all of this. I tried to fight it off but couldn't.
"What do you know about the horcruxes?"
"Everything."
"GUYS STOP PLEASE HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME."
"Who won't forgive you?" Said Ron.
"Mattheo."
No way I was about to let this slip.
"Why?" Said Harry.
"Because he's one of the horcruxes. Along with
Tom Riddles diary,
His grandfathers ring,
Salazar Slytherins locket,
Helga Hufflepuffs cup,
Rowena Ravenclaws diadem,
And Nagini.
Fuck.
I fucked them over.
They all gasped.
"Of course he would make his own son a horcrux. That evil bastard." Yelled Hermione.
"Listen you can't tell them I told you all of this." I said.
"We won't. And thank you for your cooperation." Said Harry.
"Cooperation? You three forced it out of me. This is why the Slytherins hate you. They may be on the dark side but you three are pure fucking evil." I yelled.
"Sierra it was the only way." Said Mione.
"You really are a filthy mudblood." I said to her.
"But you are too." Said Ron.
"No actually I found out I was a half blood from the results of the child I aborteds DNA." I said.
I gasped again.
"Give me that damn reverse serum now!" I screamed.
I snatched it out of Harry's hand and drank it.
"We won't ask questions." Said Mione.
"Of course you won't. You don't have the right too. In fact don't ever fucking speak to me again." I said running out.
I ran outside to calm down after everything that just happened.
I fucked every single person over and I've never felt this guilty in my life.
The pain I was in was indescribable. In fact I wanted to bang my head against the wall until I fell unconscious.
I can't tell them that I told Harry about the whole death eater horcrux thing because they would hate me forever.
So this was a guilt I had to face on my own.
I stepped on something in the cobblestone and it cut through my shoe.
Authors Note:
Tw:
Self harm.
"Ouch!"
I picked it up and it was a piece of glass.
Flashbacks from summer flooded through my mind and I had a thought.
There were two things that made me feel better when I was depressed.
Drugs, and cutting myself.
I looked at the piece of glass in my hand and back at my arm.
God I shouldn't do it, I really shouldn't.
But I lost all self control and I deserved it right?
If I caused Draco all this pain and in the future will cause my friends pain why shouldn't I be in pain?
I ran the glass down my arm and winced.
"God." I yelled.
I watched as blood ran down my arm and landed on the cobble.
I then ran the glass down my other arm and winced again.
I heavily breathed as I yelled in pain.
I really shouldn't have done it. But for the time it took my mind off of everything else.
I washed up, calmed down, and threw on a sweater.
Tw over
I walked to the common room and everyone was there.
"Sierra where have you been? We've been talking about plans for the winter dance." Smiled Pansy.
I took a seat next to Mattheo and avoided eye contact with Draco.
"Oh um nowhere, so what are the plans?" I asked.
Pansy then started going on about the dance and I was zoning out.
"You alright?" Asked Mattheo.
"Hm ya I'm fine." I said.
I felt disgusted in myself that I could sit in a room full of people I've betrayed.
Mattheo smiled at me and rubbed my arms.
"Fuck!" I yelled.
He put pressure on my cuts causing me an immense amount of pain.
Everyone silenced and looked at me.
"What's wrong?" Said Mattheo.
"Random cramp you know." I said.
I knew that would shut everyone up because who wants to talk about periods.
They continued talking and I zoned out again.
"Alright I'm getting tired I'm gonna head back to my dorm." Said Mattheo.
"Wanna come?" He said looking at me.
I nodded and we left.
We entered his dorm and I went to go change into my pajamas. Usually I wore a t-shirt but I couldn't wear that today.
"Where you going?" Asked Mattheo.
"The closet to change." I said.
"But you always change out here is this a period thing?" He asked.
"Ya it's totally a period thing." I said back.
I quickly changed into my shorts and threw on a hoodie.
I lied in bed and Mattheo lied next to me.
"I don't really know anything about periods but do you need anything from me?" He asked.
Aww it was so cute how much he cared.
To bad I would lose this the second he finds out.
"I just need you Mattheo."
He put his arms around me and cradled my head.
"I love you Sierra."
"I love you too."