Billy's eyes landed on me as he stopped in his tracks. Confusion spread across their faces when they took in the scene in front of them. This wasn't planned, they were just as surprised to see see us here as we were.
Brown eyes softened as they took me in. Billy's features followed in suit, but any emotion was pulled back and replaced with a stoic expression. His eyes moved quickly from me to the person I was sitting next to — Sebastian. One glance was all it took for his jaw to start clenching and his eyes brim with rage. His bluff had been called by merely glancing at my stepbrother.
Mentally, I sighed in frustration. On the outside, I stared at Billy with panic rising up inside of me. I was so angry with him — I was furious. Yet, that wasn't what had been keeping me up at night. A feeling of betrayal lay beside me as I went to sleep at night. Here I was now looking at its source.
I glanced to Sebastian, forcing my eyes away from Billy. Sebastian was focused on the three newcomers like they were a political problem. Unlike Billy, he was able to look at them passively. I stayed silent as I observed him take them in with a calculating gaze. Sebastian only turned to face me when he felt my eyes staring at him.
Panic rose up in my chest as I realised how scared I was. No matter what happens, the blame always falls on my shoulders. I couldn't afford any of tonight getting back to my parents. I was already in enough trouble. I didn't need or want anymore. I wasn't sure how much more I could take.
"You're okay," Sebastian said. "You're not going to get in trouble — we didn't know they'd rock up."
I looked at Sebastian with wide eyes, feeling like the look on my face was giving all of my cards away. Slowly, I nodded and tried to swallow down my fear. I chose to keep looking at Sebastian, realising keeping my focus on him was the safe move here for me. Billy was the last person I wanted to see and the last person I could be seen with. He'd hurt me like nobody else had before. I didn't want to know him anymore, let alone see him here.
Sebastian stood up and walked over to them. Large footprints pressed into the damp sand, copying and pasting themselves a few times over before they came to a stop in front of Billy and his friends. My crystal eyes detected movement to my left, shifting their empty gaze to its location. Harry was moving through the darkness like a fight or flight movement. He went straight to Sebastian's side, Harry's whole body tensing as he took in the sight of his enemy before him. He'd chosen fight.
"Charlie, you good?" I heard someone say, distracting me from the scene before me.
Suddenly both Joe and Taylor were sat either side of me. I could feel their body heat against my skin as I was sandwiched between my friends.
"Fine." I replied, looking down at the sand as If we weren't surrounded by people.
"Char, you wanna get out of here?" Joe suggested. "You don't have to deal with this."
"Yeah, char. They have some nerve showing their faces here. Honestly the audacity!" Taylor stated.
I nodded, but I wasn't really listening to whatever they were saying. My focus drifted off to take in the other people on the beach. I realised then Tommy, Freya, Jack and Molly were no where to be seen.
Fuck, Molly.
Heat rose to my cheeks as I found my attention focusing on Milo. He was standing by Billy's side. I hadn't even clicked onto the weight of the situation they'd caused by showing up here. I'd been too wrapped up in my own problems. The tension they'd caused by showing up here was barely even about me. It was so much worse for someone else.
"Let's get out of here." I told my friends, training my eyes on my stepbrothers and Billy. "I can't watch this. It's so fucked."
My friends gave me a small smile of understanding. They looked to each other and nodded. The three of us stood up and headed in the direction that would lead us away from the situation. However, my discreet getaway wasn't missed. A hand snaked around my arm, forcing us to come to a stop.
I turned around to see Tommy pulling me back, preventing me from leaving. I eyed him with confusion, wondering where Freya, Jack and Molly were if he was still here now. Panic rose inside of me at the idea of Molly still being here to witness this.
"Where are you going?" Tommy asked me, looking at me with concern. Tommy glanced over his shoulder at his brothers, worry washing over his features.
"Home." I replied, simply. "This situation is so wrong." I told him, honestly. "How can they show up here after everything? Why did they have to do that?"
Anger swirled in the currents of Tommy's crystal blue eyes as he took in my questions and frustrations. Defeat flooded through me, set off by the look in his eyes, but I didn't have the capacity to take it. I was always good at inserting myself into the middle of a conflict or starting it. This time, it was my turn to walk away. Billy and his friends being here was more conflict I didn't want to deal with. Couldn't I have one night where nothing happened?
"I know Charlie, it's not right." He sighed. "But you shouldn't have to leave. You needed to get out the house, you're supposed to have fun tonight -- not deal with this shit. Stick around, please? We can make them leave."
My eyes widened in worry at Tommy's suggestion. I looked to my friends, who seemed to be debating Tommy's words. I knew they were all getting worried about how antisocial I'd been recently, but I didn't care. I just needed some time to think. I was tired of being confused and finding out things that I never expected to be true. I was tired of finding out something and feeling like I was hearing half of the story. I was tired of feeling like I was always missing something. All I wanted was honesty.
I pursed my lips about to reply, but the words were taken out of me by the sound of a commotion in the distance. Raised voices ringed through my ears, drawing my eyes to their location. There I saw Billy and Harry getting into a heated conversation. Besides him, Sebastian was leaning in towards Milo and Sadie. His voice was far more contained than Billy and Harry's. They were going back and forth like I'd never seen before. Sebastian was quieter like his conversation wasn't something that could be thrown away in the same way Harry's and Billy's could.
"You want to go for a walk?" Joe suggested, his voice talking over the commotion. "We can come back in an hour when this is all blown over. You don't need this."
I turned my attention back to my friends, my breathing getting quicker as I tried to pay attention to everything going on around me. Harry and Billy wouldn't stop and the muffled sound of Sebastian's quieter voice had a shiver going down my spine. This was just another situation for him to handle like he was the master of navigating difficult situations.
"I'd rather take you home than let you go off alone." Tommy told me, firmly. Tommy looked over his shoulder and back at his brothers. "I don't like this, Charl."
I huffed and rolled my eyes. I didn't care what he liked right now, I was this was too much to deal with right now.
"I don't care, Tommy. Would everyone stop acting like I need fucking protecting? You know, all that reminds me of is my fucking sister and it's suffocating. Just let be me."
Tommy looked at me with wide eyes whilst I tried to control the anger radiating off of me. I remembered this feeling all too well. An argument would be going on. She'd be there and she'd want to take me away. So we'd go to the lighthouse and pretend nothing that was happening was real at all. It worked on me sometimes, but sometimes it just made me feel suffocated. Alice tried so hard to protect me, yet sometimes it felt like that transitioned into control. The circle was coming back around.
"Charlie, I'm not trying to suffocate you." Tommy said, gently. "I'm trying to look out for you the same way I'd look out for my brothers. I'm only trying to protect you . I care about you and I think you've been through enough, okay? I don't think you should have to deal with this."
I rolled my eyes and folded my arms over my chest, making then a snap decision to stay.
"It's not for you to decide what I should have to deal with. This right here is the consequences of my actions and for the first time in my fucking life I'm going to face them and deal with them on my own. I'm quite capable of dealing with everything by myself." I snapped at Tommy and then shot a glare at my friends, realising them trying to take me away was the same exact thing Tommy was trying to do, just in a different form.
I stormed off and headed in the direction of the commotion.
It was when I turned to face them, I saw Harry lifting his arm up and swinging it back before it collided with Billy's face. Billy stumbled back in response to the weight of the force, but he caught himself and stopped in his tracks. My breath caught in it's throat as Billy stalked towards Harry, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling him towards him. Then he swung his arm back and punched Harry, catching him on his jaw.
I approached cautiously, close enough to hear what was going on. Harry stood his ground, barely reacting to what Billy had done. But, it was only when I right behind them that I heard Harry laugh. My eyes widened as I realised Harry may even be enjoying this.
"Is that all you've got?" Harry spat, pushing Billy off of him. "After what you did to my fucking sister, don't you think you should have thought through showing up here when you know you can't fucking take me?"
I swallowed hard as I heard myself become the subject of the conversation. I hadn't realised Billy hurting me could get Harry this angry.
"Your ego's bigger than your strength." Billy growled.
Harry scoffed, but approached Billy swiftly, landing another punch on his already bleeding face. Again, Harry had hit him in the nose and Billy turned away from him like he didn't want to give Harry the satisfaction of seeing him bleed.
I knew it could only be a matter of minutes before one of them took it too far. However, Sadie stepped in front of me before I could do anything to stop the violence.
I glared at her. "What do you want Sadie?"
"You're a liar, Charlie." She stated, looking me up and down. "You fooled me, I never took you for one. I guess I was wrong."
I narrowed my eyes at her and glanced over her shoulder to see Billy and Harry fighting to the left and Sebastian and Milo talking to my right. Fuck, did she have to confront me now?
"I don't have time for this." I said, trying to push past her, but I was forced to stop. Something was pressing itself into my chest. My breath went hollow as I stared at the silver object pressed against my skin. "What the fuck, Sadie? Are you insane?"
Pressed against my chest was a knife.
Sadie shrugged. "Your inability to listen is the only thing I've been right about you so far. I just wanted to make sure you heard me this time."
My eyes widened in shock as I took in the words she was saying to me. Sadie's voice was quiet enough for no one else to hear us. Everyone else was so wrapped up on what was already going on that no one noticed me and Sadie to the side. The violence had granted us invisibility.
"Listen to you?" I questioned, my voice quietly chaotic. I tried to remain as calm as possible, but my voice shook as I felt the fear I was feeling inside wrap it's way around my tongue. The words were left tinged with it as they rushed out of my lips in a panic. I tried to steady it as I realised I had to remain calm right now. "Listen to you about what?"
Sadie scoffed and dropped the knife, making me feel slightly better. I had the slightest feeling she wasn't serious about using the thing. It was a show of her insecurity and a way to scare me. She knew I wasn't the type to give in easily and that was the only real intimidating thing here.
"About Milo." Sadie said, "None of what you've heard is true."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not taking a fucking rapists side, Sadie. Are you insane?"
Sadie glared at me. "He's not a rapist! He didn't rape anyone, ever. They're all fucking liars and you're just another one of them!" She said in a harsh whisper that only made its way up to my ears.
"Who are you to determine whose a liar and whose not?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows up at her.
"Really? then who gave you fucking authority to decide when someone's telling the truth? You're not a judge, but you've acted like you've got the authority to hand out punishments based on speculation. Do you really believe everything you hear, Charlie? Milo's a good guy."
I swallowed hard. I knew i didn't have the authority to decide anything, but I could believe someone when they'd let me hear their honest truth. That was the best I could do. Beyond that, it was nothing to do with me. All I could do is try and respect what was going on around me. I'd only be overstepping if I did something that offended the trust they gave to me when they were honest. I knew I'd done that in this situation. Molly didn't want attention being drawn to this and yet, i'd gone and taken the decision for her and I hardly even know her.
I shook my head, trying to remind myself the past was the past and I'd made a mistake. I had to remember the real issue here. "God, he's got you so manipulated." I shook my head.
I glanced at the hand Sadie had the knife in. I didn't know what came over me, but I grabbed her arm with one hand and my other hand to snatch it out of hers. Sadie stared at me wide eyed as she realised I now had the one thing in my hand she'd brought with her to intimidate me. The shoe was on the other foot.
"I'm not going to use it, calm down." I rolled my eyes. "I don't believe violence is the way to resolve anything, neither should you."
I tried to hide my amusement at the fear her eyes were showing to me. I reached out for one of her hands and turned its palm upwards, placing the knife in it palm. She locked at me in shock before her fist tightly gripped the blade like she was scared I'd take it away. My eyes widened in sync with hers. She'd pressed the blade into her palm.
"Fuck," She hissed, turning away from me.
I watched her cautiously as she used the other hand to cover up the now bleeding wound. The knife dropped to the sand like it was now a second thought.
"Maybe I'm not the one you should be talking to." I said, eyeing her wearily.
I leant down and picked up the blade again. Once it was in my hand, I held it out to her. This time I made sure the sharp edge was facing me and the handle was pointed at her.
Sadie cautiously looked at me and the knife. I watched her as she took the knife back, putting it in her pocket. I thought about warning her of cutting herself again with it in her pocket like that, but I knew she was smart. She'd accepted the risks herself by placing it there.
"Are you okay?" I heard someone say to me, pulling my focus off of Sadie.
Sadie and I both turned to see Sebastian stood besides me. Sadie bit her lip when she glanced at me and then to Sebastian. I clocked it then. She was scared of them. That was why she'd felt the need to protect herself. It made me wonder just what got her so scared in the first place. However, i was relieved when I saw her make no attempt to pull out the knife. For the first time, I think my presence made her feel safer.
"Fine," I nodded, hoping he hadn't seen any of what just happened. "Sadie and me have acknowledge we have different opinions."
Sadie's eyes widened at my words, but she didn't say anything else. She walked away and I was thankful she left easily. I don't think I'll be seeing much of Sadie from now on.
Sadie walked over to where Sebastian had come from. Milo was standing there waiting alone. I was surprised to see Sebastian stood besides me and not arguing with him. I don't think either of them lay a hand on the other, they just talked. I eyed Sebastian cautiously, feeling surprised. I would have thought they would get in a fight, but they didn't. Thank god.
"What did she want?" Sebastian asked me.
I shrugged, "Someone to listen to her I think."
Sebastian looked in Sadie's direction lost in thought. "Be careful around her, I don't like that girl. She once pulled out a knife on us in some stupid fight. No one got hurt, but if she's not careful she's going to hurt someone or herself one day."
I nodded, but didn't tell him what had happened moments ago. She'd already hurt herself with it. Hopefully, that was enough for her to realise how much damage you could do with something like that.
I snapped out of my thoughts and put my attention back onto Harry and Billy. Tommy was by Harry's side, trying to stop the two of them from fighting. Thank god. I walked straight up to them with Sebastian on my tail.
Harry gritted his teeth at the sight of me. His jaw clenched and he shook his head like he couldn't believe I was making sure I'd get involved in this. I rolled my eyes thinking, old habits die hard.
"Charlotte, we've got this sorted. Go back to your friends." Harry told me, staring at me with a look that could kill.
Tommy glanced at me, but didn't say anything. He already knew I wasn't going to listen to him telling me shit about him protecting me. Adrenaline was circulating and I knew I could rely on it.
I ignored Harry and looked straight at Billy who was watching me like he couldn't believe i was standing in front of him. His eyes softened at the sight of me like I alone could diffuse some of the anger that was boiling up inside of him. A couple of weeks ago, I would of liked that. Now it just confused me.
"What are you doing here, Billy?" I growled, wanting him and his friends to fuck off. "You have some fucking nerve."
Billy's eyebrows raised as my words hit him like he wasn't expecting them. I didn't react to his surprise. I stared at him blankly, waiting for a good enough explanation even though I knew nothing was going to be good enough.
"I came to see you." Billy said, ignoring all the traces of anger in my voice. Billy glanced at the presence of my three stepbrother's, but seemed to choose to ignore them. "We need to talk."
"talk? Mm, we tried that." I scoffed, "Don't you remember? Or did the car accident our talking caused make you forget?" I questioned.
In the corner of my eye I saw the corner of Harry's lips twitch up in amusement. I ignored him and watched the guilt lurk in the dark depths of Billy's stormy eyes. My eyes travelled down to his nose, which was red and bloody. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit satisfying. Violence wasn't my thing, but it wasn't like I'd hit him.
"Charlie -- I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking ---" Billy began, but Harry stepped forward restlessly.
"-- Charlotte don't even waste your time listening to this psycho's excuses." Harry interrupted, but again I ignored his presence.
"--- you know getting in a car is a choice, right?" I spat. "Picking up a drink, drinking that and a few more and then later picking up your car keys are all the same thing? They're all fucking choices, choices you made. I'd know because the same night i wasn't drinking because I decided not to!"
All three of my stepbrother's stilled around me, looking to each other like they shared the same thoughts. I continued to try and pretend this conversation was private. I was grateful I knew I had their support, but I also knew what Billy did to me was between the two of us.
"You saw me drink, Charlie. Don't act so fucking innocent --- you could have offered to drive." Billy argued, the heat of his anger sharply increasing.
"I can't even drive!" I exclaimed. "I'm sorry if I trusted you enough not to be preoccupied with what you were drinking when we got in that car. It was your responsibility. If I'd realised, I never would have gotten in the car with you!"
I was glaring at him in a fit of anger. Why was he not in jail? They knew he was drinking, but here he was, bothering me.
Billy laughed, hollowly. "God, you're just like them. You're quick to blame like you're better than everyone else."
Thoughts about Billy's ability to be standing in front of me, disappeared as I felt myself straighten up at his depictions of me.
I glared at Billy. "I don't think I'm better than anyone else, but I'm not scared to call you out when I see something that's not right!"
"What does what's right even mean?" Billy laughed, raising his eyebrows at me like he couldn't wait to hear my answer. I felt sick to my stomach at the sight of this side of him. How could he treat me like this after what he did?
"Leave her alone." Harry interrupted, shooting my a look before glaring at Billy.
Billy licked his lips and looked at me like he still had more to say. "Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened, it wasn't what I wanted and it's gotten me in a lot of trouble. But, Charlie you gotta realise you throw around accusations like you've done nothing wrong, but you cause so many fucking problems."
I took in a sharp breath as his words hit me. I didn't want to believe them, but it was so hard not to when part of my own mind sort of thought the same thing two. The guilt I'd felt was enough to make me feel like it was all my fault. It was so hard feel like it wasn't.
"Right, fuck off." Harry interrupted. "You've said enough. Get out of here."
Billy straightened up and raised his eyebrows at Harry almost daringly, but I nodded in agreement.
"You should leave, Billy. I don't want to talk to you anymore." I said.
"But charlie ---"
I shook my head, "No. Billy, just keep your distance from me. I don't know what's happened with you after the car accident or anything. I'm glad you're okay, but I can't see you like this. Just forget about me, okay?"
Billy looked at me speechlessly, but I didn't give him the chance to throw anymore accusations at me. I turned around and walked away.
I just wanted to go home.
A\N sorry about the edits tricking you into thinking there was an update. They weren't really grammar edits, but me trying to neaten up the plot. If you want a better explanation, go to my recent announcement on my page :)
Q: do you guys find the whole knife thing in this story cringe?
I regretted including the knife after writing it and have been debating whether to later cut it out in an edit. But I kind of felt for Sadie here with it. Usually I see stuff like this in books and I can't take it seriously — if anyone's seen/ read blood brothers (love it, made me cry :/) there's a knife scene there and ever since I read that and saw it play out on stage, i find stuff like it almost comical. So thinking of tweaking that.