EPILOGUE
LANCE JOAQUIN BERNARDO'S POINT OF VIEW
"Sandali lang!" I called her, nagmamadali akong bumaba. "Mommy, I'm heading to Pinerose." Her expression turned into a frown as she turned around to face me,"
"Joaquin, anong bibilhin mo roon?"
Tinignan ko siyang matalim sa dahil pagtawag niya sa akin. "Mommy! Don't call me 'Joaquin', si Lolo lang p'wedeng tumawag sa akin niyan!"
My mom's smile faltered as she said, "But... Grandpa's gone, so I'll just give you a call." I brushed off her comment.
There's nothing I can do about it now. After all, she's my mom. They're often away, but when they're home, they focus all their attention on me.
Work is work, and family time is family time. They're not strict parents, as long as I understand the rules. I dressed in a black V-neck shirt, with sleek black pants and a matching cap. I'm not very outgoing, so sometimes people mistake me for being grumpy. I don't let it bother me. In Hensonville, traffic is usually light, so we get around quickly.
Just a few minutes ago, I arrived in front of Pinerose. I was walking and reading my list when suddenly someone bumped into me.
"Fuck. . ." mahinang mura ko.
I don't think she heard my soft voice. Her attention is glued to her phone, so I can't see her face clearly yet. Just as I reach for the phone she dropped, she beats me to it.
"Sorry," she murmurs, pouting her lips. She also seems to recognize my face.
Ang cute niya ipit ng buhok niya!
Gusto kong tumawa ng malakas because of her hair style. Her hair style is just like pine-tree na parang asong Chihuahua, kaso baka mapikon siya.
"Miss, next time you should watch your way." I quickly changed my tone to something lighter.
May biglang sumingit sa usapan na'min. I don't know kung kaibigan niya ba o boyfriend.
"Shainny, anyari sa'yo, ah? Ba't gan'yan mukha mo?" tanong ng kasama niya, kaibigan niya siguro.
Akmang aalis na sila nang bigla kong tinawag ang lalaki.
"Bro," nakangisi kong tawag.
He turned to face me, his eyebrow raised in irritation, clearly in a bad mood. I just grinned at myself, finding amusement in teasing the girl, although I couldn't quite explain why.
"Why?" he said, annoyed.
"Don't just leave your dog here, besides, you read something on the door, didn't you? It said, 'No Pets Allowed.'" I declared confidently.
Hindi man nagbago ang reaction ang babae. Hinihintay nila ang kasunod 'kong sasabihin. I didn't let them wait for what they had to say. When I turned away from them, I smiled. I laughed secretly. Naririnig ko pa rin ang sinasabi ng babae habang naglalakad na ako palayo sa kanila. Umuwi ako ng maaga dahil sa kan'ya.
Early in the morning, I headed straight to the Chapel of HAU. Hastening to the front seat, I found solace in the empty space. Here, I could unload the pain weighing on my heart.
"Lord. . . I long to see my grandfather. Even if it's just in my dreams. . . I yearn for his love. You know how much. . . I cherish my lolo," tears streamed down my cheeks uncontrollably.
"G-Grandpa. . . do you know. . . I dreamt of you last night? We hugged. . .embraced each other. You whispered, kissed my forehead. Please, Grandpa, visit me, even in my dreams. If only I could join you there, I would," my voice choked with emotion.
I didn't care if anyone heard me.
"I know you're at peace now. . . no longer battling illness. But, I still miss you dearly," I sobbed.
Amidst my tears, someone spoke beside me. I didn't dare look up, not wanting to reveal my vulnerability. Their voice sounded familiar, as if I'd heard it before. I merely smiled and continued to bow my head, as they uttered their words, eh. . ."
While I was crying, someone suddenly spoke next to me. I didn't bother to look at it because I didn't want other people to see me cry. Nagtanong-tanong pa siya. Her voice is so familiar, parang narinig ko na ito somewhere. I maintained my smile, keeping my gaze lowered. His words resonated with me, hinting at a shared struggle in life. All I could do was remain kneeling, too shy to even steal a glance at him.
"Because you won't feel happy and you won't believe in yourself, because you keep thinking you're not good enough-but that's all you're thinking about. What about the people around you who teach you, support you, love you, and feel happy when you're happy too?" she signed heavily, I feel her situation. "Kuya, sometimes you gotta listen to your heart, not just your ears or your head. You might be amazed by how strong you really are."
She's right.
Nagiging selfish na naman ako. Hindi ko na naman iniisip ang ang mararamdaman ng ibang tao.
"Kuya, gumising ka na r'yan." parang batang nanggigising. "Bahala ka 'ryan kapag na-late ka."
Inahalog-alog niya ang katawan ko, pilit ako'ng ginising pero hindi naman ako natutulog. As I listened to their voice, a realization dawned on me: they were right. I needed to connect with the people around me, to feel their presence and share their experiences. I had been selfish, seeking solace only for my own comfort.
Naramdaman ko na may inipit siya sa ilalim ng braso ko at narinig ko na lang ang kaluskos ng takbo nito na palayo sa akin. Nang napagtanto ko na wala na siya sa paligid ko ay dali-dali kong kinuha at binasa.
Hey, I know you're going through a tough time, but remember, try to focus on happy thoughts instead of dwelling on the sadness. You'll overcome this, trust me. Anyway, I'm heading out now. I tried waking you up earlier, but if you want to keep sleeping, that's okay too. Bahala ka kung sasama ka na sa liwanag, pero bata ka pa, a.
-Cute
While reading, a smile graced my lips. Shainny had been a great source of support, and I felt grateful for her presence.
"Thank you so much," I whispered into the wind.
I longed to know more about her-her name, her section, her entire being.
I had thought our paths would never intersect again, but I was proven wrong. As I reached the door, her face came into view, and once more, a smile effortlessly found its way onto my face.
Shainny De Leon.
Her name illuminated my thoughts like a spark of light.
I made it a point to introduce myself to all my classmates, my gaze lingering on her. In jest, I even teased her, which seemed to annoy her.
"Hello, Joaquin," she greeted with a playful smile. I shot her a glare.
Si Lolo nga lang p'wede tumawag sa akin! Kuhang-kuha niya ang inis ko.
Days passed, and life fell back into its usual rhythm. It was Sunday, and I made a choice to enjoy the day, aware that Monday would bring the weight of schoolwork. The weather was pleasant, just right for leisure. I wanted to make the most of the day, savoring this break before returning to the demands of school. Habang nagmamaneho ang driver ng may nahagip ako na pamilyar na babae. Halos sinuklaban siyang langit at lupa.
Ang laki 'ata ng problema niya?
I pulled over to the side and decided to follow her. I'm not sure what compelled me to do so; perhaps it was just curiosity.
"Here, wipe your tears." I gently said, sitting beside her on the stone chair. "Why are you crying?"
May parte sa akin na parang pati ako ay nasasaktan sa pinapakita niya. This is the first time I saw her, crying in a public place. Hindi ko na mapigilan pa ang sarili ko. Hindi ko na kayang tiisin pa. Lumapit ako sa kan'ya para yakapin siya. I gently positioned my hands behind me, hoping she would sense my presence.
"Don't worry, I'm here for you. Everything will work out in the end. If only I could carry your pain, I would," I murmured, continuing to massage her back to comfort her. "I'll remain by your side until you find peace."
Ilang oras ang nakalipas nang may naramdaman kaming malalaking patak ng ulan. Confused about where we were going, she almost ran, but I quickly grabbed her wrist, halting her. We both stared at our intertwined hands, a moment of hesitation hanging between us.
Running together, our hands still clasped, we sought refuge under cover from the rain. With one hand, she absentmindedly fixed her hair. Without speaking, we stood silently together, watching cars pass in the rain. The only sound was the occasional rumble of passing vehicles. I noticed her stealing glances at me, so I raised an eyebrow in response.
"Don't tell me I've got dirt on my face?" I asked, my fingers lightly brushing my cheek to check.
"Ang kamay ko," she uttered.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang napagtanto kong magkahawak pa rin kami ng kamay.
Fuck! Nakakahiya.
"I'm sorry. I forgot, I didn't realize," I whispered.
Humihina-hina na ang ulan kaya nagprinsita na ako na ihatid siya sa kanila ngunit ayaw niya. Pinilit ko pa siyang ihatid sa may convience store sa Hensoville.
Nang nasa convience store na kami ay nauna akong bumababa para sabayan siya.
"Thank you! Take care on your way home." she genuinely smiled.
"Even though I wish I could be there for you every time you're in pain and every time you're happy," I remarked, giving her head a gentle pat. "You still look beautiful, even with tears in your eyes."
"Sir Lance, bakit hindi ka nagalit?" tanong ni manong.
Even though he didn't explicitly say it, I understood what he meant.
"I suppose so," I replied hastily. "She's someone special to me, Kuya."
"'Naks naman!" natatawanga aniya. "Bintana na ang alaga ko!"
Sa tuwing walang pasok, tila gustong gusto kong pumasok sa skwelahan.I wanted to see her and tease her. Today, I fell asleep at my desk, feeling sleepy with no tasks or teachers around.
In the quiet classroom, I heard my friend and classmate, Lyzza, laughing. She tried to loosen my grip around her waist, but I held on tight.
"Hoy, Joaquin! Umaayos ka nga Mahiya ka, hoy!" she managed to loosen my hug from her waist, but I swiftly returned to embrace her, holding her tightly. "Lance. . . remove your hand from my back."
"H'wag kang malikot. Natutulog ang tao," I murmured softly, still half-asleep. "Shainny, please, just let me rest like this. . ."
I feel so happy that I am slowly finding her. I felt happy getting closer to her. But whenever she talked to other guys, I got really mad. I longed to know every detail of their conversations, often approaching just to eavesdrop.
When I found out she liked someone else, I felt hopeless. I couldn't bring myself to tell her how I felt because I was ashamed.
I was scared she'd reject me, avoid me, or disappear from my life.
"Gago! Feeling ko may crush na 'ko," I heard her chuckled.
Tsk! Kakabaeng tao pala-mura.
"Handsome? Seriously?" I raised my eyebrows . "Nice joke, Chihuahua."
She turned to face me,her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
"You like him?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes, annoyed. "Pakialam mo ba? Kahit kailan, sulpot ka nang sulpot 'no? Kabute ka ba?"
Pinagtatanggol niya pa ang 'Vocalist ng Control S'. Aba! Hindi ako makakapayag.
Eh'di sa kaniya na siya. Tsk.
"So, is that why you have a crush?" I teased, licking my ips. "Maybe I should serenade you too. Sing to you until you can't resist falling for me."
I'd do anything to have her. Whatever she wants, I'll do it as long as she's mine. I'll even do things I find hard just to make her happy and win her affection.
I'll do anything for the woman I love.
They say love hits you when you least expect it. I don't know when it started, but suddenly, I felt something tug at my heart, and when I woke up, I realized I wanted her.
The day she fell ill, I was in a panic. I didn't know where to start to help her recover quickly. I rushed home to cook for her, not bothering with an apron because speed was crucial. I didn't care if my uniform got dirty; all that mattered was that she could eat and take her medicine.
I made soup for her, the only thing I knew to help reduce her fever. As soon as it was ready, I packed it and rushed to give it to her. I ran, smiling because I knew she would eat it. But my smile vanished when I saw Shainny with someone else.
Napangiti ako ng pait sa usapan g kaibigan niya.
"He'to 'yong sandwich at gamot mo," rinig kong saad ni Kenzo sabay bigay kay Shainn. "Kainin mo 'yan bago ka uminom ng gamot, ah?"
Wala na, huli na ako. Nangunahan na ako. Ibibigay ko pa rin ba ang niluto ko? Itatapon ko ba? Ipapamigay? O kakain ko ang sarili kong gawa?
As I was about to enter, sweaty and dirty from cooking, I spotted him in the hallway. Quickly, I hid the food I had cooked for him behind me, hoping he wouldn't see it.
"Bakit mo pa binalikan ang lunch box mo?" inosenteng tanong ni Shainny.
"I made it on purpose because I was concerned she might not have eaten yet. Maybe she didn't take the medicine," I said, looking at her with a sense of worry. "Pero. . . Tangina, naunahan pa ako."
Finally, I mustered the courage to ask her for something. I couldn't admit my feelings for her, but since she fell ill, I've been waking up early to make sandwiches for Shainny. She neglects herself while studying, and that's what led to her getting sick. I don't want that to happen again.
Every morning, I arrive early to place the armchair at her table and leave notes for her. My routine remains the same the next day: waking up early to cook for her, arriving early to set up her armchair, and leaving her notes reminding her of her worth.
Hi, Shainny! Good morning. Take care and feel better soon, alright? I prepared this for you because I care about you. Remember to eat and take your medicine, my sweet one. Always looking out for you! Consider this paper kiss a little token of my affection for now, okay? I'll keep pursuing you for as long as it takes. I'll chase Cupid's arrows to the ends of the earth, just to keep you in my arms. I'll always be right here with you.
-Your Cupid's Love
I spent almost a day working alongside her, and seeing her enjoy the food I cooked filled me with joy. It made me return home with a smile every day. But the next day, that happiness vanished suddenly. Everything seemed different. I had hoped she would wait for me so we could go home together, but I couldn't leave the house. I had to take care of my sick mother. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't abandon my mother, especially when she had a high fever.
The following day seemed to fly by too quickly. I struggled with how to confess my feelings. Sometimes, I wondered if I should even admit them or just let them go.
It's tough because my mind and heart are at odds.
She means everything to me.
Pero nagbago ang lahat ng nalaman ko ang. . .
"Lance, kailangan mo munang umuwi sa Austrilia." Dad said. "They are waiting for you. Ilang years na rin nakalipas, this is the right time to come with us in Australia."
Nang dahil doon biglang nagbago ang lahat. Nangangamba ako para kay Shainny. Natatakot ako baka kapag wala na ako rito sa Pilipinas ay baka makahanap siyang mas malapit.
No! I can't lose my girl.
"Okay. . ." walang gana kong tugon.
Wala na akong masabi.
I'm afraid. Terrified of my father's reprimands, worried he might send me away, back to where I came from. I don't want to leave the one I love behind. I fear for her safety without me. With each passing second, minute, day, and hour, my anxiety grows. What will become of Shainny when I'm gone?
How do I truly feel about her? What is our relationship like?
One day, I visited her house without saying goodbye. I knocked on the door, but it took her a while to answer. She seemed surprised to see me. Eventually, she let me in.
I cleared my throat. "S-Shain. . ."
"Ano?" diretsong tanong ni Shainny. "Sabihin mo na kinaka-"
Pumikit ako ng marahan dahil kumukuha ako ng lakas ng loob para sa sabihin sa kaniya.
"I have feelings for you, Shainny," I confessed with a serious tone. "I don't just want to be friends. I want you, because it's you. I want you because I genuinely like you."
Hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi ko, pati nga rin ako ay hindi ako makapaniwala na sasabihin ko iyon sa harapan nito. Halatang gulat na gulat pa rin ito. Ilang araw ang nakalipas ay pumunta ako ngunit sa kasamang palad ay kasama nito ang Kenzo niya.
Doon na siya sa Kenzo niya!
"Bakit pinapauwi mo na ako?" I pouted. "Are you choosing Kenzo over me now? You'd rather be with Kenzo than me?"
"Lance," she sighed deeply. "I'd choose you every time, even if there were no other options."
Hindi na ako kumibo pa. Wala na rin ako magagawa dahil kaibigan niya naman iyon..May bigla akong tinanong mula sa kaniya na kinagulat ko.
"I won't take no for an answer. I'll win your heart, whether you like it or not. I promise-"
Maraming tao sa mundo ang kaya ako'ng patawanin, pangitiin, at pakiligin, ngunit bibihira lang ang isang Shainny De Leon, ang babaeng humalik sa ng apat na beses sa isang araw.
"I love you too, honey!" I looked into her eyes.
"Totoo? Seryoso ba 'to?!" I bit his lower lip at kitang-kita ko ang saya sa kaniyang mga mata at namumula niyang pisnge.
Pagkatapos na'min magusap ni Dad ay pumunta ako sa kwarto para tawagan ang kaibigan kong babae. She's my childhood bestfriend. Hindi ko pa naikwekwento kay Shainny tungkol pero once na maayos na ang lahat ipapakilala ko siya.
[What's up, LJ!] msasiglang bungad niya.
"Nothing. But. . . I have bad news," I tried to smile casually but I couldn't.
[Ba't sa akin? I think, si Shainny dapat ang unang nakakaalam regarding your situations. Not me. Not me, LJ,]
"But, hindi kami ayos ngayon, Jessa-" She cutted me.
[Alright. Okay. Sumama ka na lang sa walking street! Iinom mo na lang 'yan!] tawa ni Jessa, my childhood friend.
Napagisip-isip ako kung sasama ba ako o hindi. Gusto ko umalis muna rito. Gusto ko kalimutan ang mga problema ko rito. Paano ko sasabihin 'to sa kaniya? Paano ko sisimulan?
Alam kong may mabigat siyang problema kahit hindi niya sabihin sa akin pero ramdam na ramdam ko iyon. Ilang years na kami, kilalang kilala ko na siya. Gusto ko malaman kung ano ang problema niya pero she chose to be silent.
Every time, nagtatanong ako, laging wala o problema niya iyon. I respect her privacy if she wants. Then, bigyan ko siya.
Habang nagsusuot akong pants ay biglang may nag-pop-up na messages. So, hinayaan ko na lang, baka panibagong problema na naman 'yan. Minutes had passed, another text appeared but I just let it be the same thing. I'm doing something this time. I ignored the messages.
"Hi, paps!" saad ng babae, ang suot niya ay halos kita na ang buong kaluluwa nito.
Sinusubukan niyang pumatong sa sa legs ko ngunit ilang beses ko rin ito binibawalan.
"Sorry, may asawa na 'ko." I smiled at the girl.
Papatong na sana siya bgunit bigla ako'ng sumabog dahil sa ginagawa ng babae sa akin.
"Tangina! Hindi ka ba nakakaintindi? Tanga ka ba?! How many times have I said meron na ako'ng asawa!" I exclaimed. "Please, umalis ka na rito habang may natitirang pa ako'ng respeto sa'yo. Salamat."
"Chill, LJ!" natatawang saad ni Jessa. "I'm sorry for that. Magco-complain na lang ako sa manager nila."
Kasalukuyang nasa bar ako nang bigla ko naramdaman ang pag-vibrate ng phone ko. Dali-dali kong kinuha iyon sa bulsa at tinignan ko kung sino.
But just the name makes me smile. Just the name of the person you love will solve your problem. 'Yon nga lang, okay na ako.
She cleared her throat. "Saan ka? Sobrang ingay 'ata d'yan."
[Nothing. My Mom's birthday,] I lied.
"Okay lang, naiintindihan ko. Mag-enjoy ka riyan." ramdam ko ang lungkot boses ni Shainny.
I'm sorry, hon.
Ayaw ko lang magalit ka kapag nalaman mo nandito ako. Pero mas magagalit ka dahil nagsinungaling ako. Masakit dahil naririnig ko ang hikbi ng taong mahal ko. Pero nang narinig ko iyon ay napagdesisyong kong dalawin siya. Gusto ko bumawi. Gusto ko iparamdam sa kaniya na hindi ako nagbago. Hindi ako nagbago pero may problema lang ako.
Honey, I know you understand my situation.
While I was driving the car, I went straight to buy cakes and flowers for my girl. I just want to give the girl I love. After I bought things to give her, I drove. Malapit na ako sa bahay ni Shainny nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko.
[Lance! Where are you?! Ang Lola mo. . .] hagulgol ni Mama.
No! Hindi p'wede 'to!
Takot ako'ng nawalan ng lola. Nawalan na akong isang lolo. Ayoko pang dumagdagdag siya. Dali-dali kong niliko ang daan para makauwi kaagad. Kabadong-kabado ako habang pauwi. Gusto kong umiyak pero parang nagiging bato na katawan ko.
Lance, problema lang 'yan.
Si Mommy ang bumungad sa akin. Hindi raw na nila alam ang gagawin nila. Takot na takot ako sa p'wedeng mangyari ngayon. I can't handle this situation.
Lalaki ako, eh! Pero nababakla ako sa tuwing ang mga taong mahal ko ay umiiyak.
"L-Lance. . . A-Anak parang awa mo na, umuwi ka na sa Austrilia. Ang lola mo. . . Ang lola mo, gusto kang makita. . ." nanghihinang umupo si Mommy.
I felt overwhelmed and unsure of what to do, so I ended up hitting the wall in frustration. I just wanted to escape from the situation. I shook my head at Mommy, unable to find the right words.
"Mommy... I don't want to leave Shainny here—"
"Lance! Lola mo 'yon!" Mom shouted.
My eyes widened in shock. Mom had never raised her voice at me like that before. It was a first.
"Mommy, I'm sorry if I can't leave Shainny's side yet. I love them both, but Papa's cousins are there. Someone is watching over grandma, but Shainny. . . Shainny, Mom. . . she has no one," my voice cracked.
Those words spilled out of my mouth, and I tried to hold back my tears, but it was futile. I didn't want to cry in front of them, especially because Shainny always felt sorry for us when our relationship soured.
Why did love have to feel so bitter sometimes? But despite everything, I refused to give up. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving Shainny and seeing her suffer. She needed me, and I had to be there for her, ready to go to her side whenever she called.
"P-Paano kung sa pag-uwi ko rito sa pilipinas ay wala na pala ako'ng mababalikan? Paano kung mabalitaan ko na lang na may iba na si Shainny? Paano, Ma?! P-Paano po? Mom. . . I love her!" I bit my lower lip to suppress my sniffles, but they couldn't be stopped. "You and Dad are already in love. . . so I'm sure you understand me. I can't bear the thought of leaving her alone. Just imagining her with someone else. . . I can't handle it, Mom. I hope you understand. You've experienced love, so you know how I feel. . ."
Tears continued to stream down my face as I poured out my feelings. After expressing myself, I retreated to my room. I didn't know who to turn to. I had no friends, except for one. My girlfriend had her own problems, and I didn't want to burden her with mine.
I decided to text my cousin for help. I needed assistance to find a way to stay in the Philippines and avoid being separated from Shainny.
Shainny, if only you were here... I'm fighting for us.
My cousin:
May isang condition.
My cousin:
Wala nang libre ngayon, Lance HA-HA
Nagkunot noo ako. Naghihingi akong tulong sa kaniya pero gan'yan pa rin siya.
Me:
Come on, Thalia, Spill it. Gagawin ko ang lahat para tulungan mo lang ako.
My cousin:
Ang kaibigan ko need niya ng tulong mo, si Jessa.
My cousin:
Your childhood best friend, Jessa. She needs you, bro!
I smiled sarcastically. Kahit alam kong hindi niya nakikita.
Me:
And ano'ng gagawin na'min?
Naghintay akong saglit bago niyang i-seen ang message ko. Lumipas ng isang minuto ay nag-reply na rin siya.
My cousin:
Just pretend na kayo ni Jessa sa tuwing nand'yan ang ex niya.
My cousin:
Jessa is pregnant.
Napa-oo na lang ako dahil hindi ako mahihirapan pa sa pag-deal na iyon basta hindi ako aalis dito. I refused to leave the person I loved. A few days ago, my friend Jessa called out of the blue, saying her ex was going to 'Tres Pares Unli Wings'.
Less than an hour later, I got dressed and met her at the System Plus overpass. I drove us to the location she mentioned. When I spotted Jessa at the bottom of the overpass, we walked to the place together. I did everything I could to make our meeting seem believable. But when I opened the door, I froze in place. Should I approach her?
Everything felt fragile.
"Shainny. . ." I whispered.
She faced me with a facade of strength, but her eyes betrayed the pain she was hiding. I introduced her as a friend, as we had agreed with Jessa, because Jessa's ex-boyfriend, the father of her future child, was standing right behind me.
Shainny's friends bombarded us with questions, but Jessa handled them all as my attention remained solely on Shainny. She was all that mattered.
Suddenly, Shainny stood up from her seat, and I watched in horror as I realized the extent of the hurt I had caused him. She struggled to hold back his tears.
Damn it!
This was all my fault. I had to fix this, for both of us.
When Shainny left, Kenzo followed after him. I was left stunned, unsure of what to do. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts, and then I ran after Shainny. I needed to explain to him about me and Jessa, to clear up any misunderstandings. Jessa's claims were all fabricated.
"H-Honey. . ." I whispered when I saw Kenzo and the person I loved embracing.
I watched as they hugged in the middle of the overpass. When Shainny noticed me, they quickly pulled away from each other. Doble ang sakit. Doble ang takot. Parang tinutusok ako ng kutsilyo sa buong katawan. Nangingilid na ang mga luha ko ngunit I tried to hold my tears.
"You don't have to hurt me like this," I almost whispered, my voice heavy with sadness. "I'll come to you myself, to choose you, but, tangina, Shainny. . ."
Pumikit ito nang marahan at tuloy-tuloy ang pagdaloy ng kaniyang mga luha sa papunta ito sa pisnge nito.
"Joaquin naman, eh. . ." padabog niyang tugon sabi habang patuloy pa rin ako umiiyak.
I pursed my lips and she looked away from me. ""I-I'm stuck in the darkness of my choices, unsure if choosing you over my family was the right path, if being with you will save me or destroy me," he admitted, his voice thick with pain. "This. . . This is one of the biggest regrets I'll ever have!"
I hate it!
I used to believe that when Cupid struck, it would be magical, but why does it feel like this? Why are we both suffering like this?
Is it true what others say? Is that love only fun at first?
Cupid. . . why are you torturing us? We just love each other!
Despite everything, there wasn't a day he didn't text me. He shared stories almost every minute, trying to lift my spirits. He had been doing that for several days. I wanted to reply to him because I didn't want him to feel sorry for me. I didn't want his sympathy for my problems.
I felt so overwhelmed! It was stressful.
Mom tried to send me back to Austria, but I was stubborn. I refused to leave Shainny. My mind was a mess. But Shainny's texts helped me feel better. I ended up locking myself in my room for a few days because every time they saw me, they'd ask about returning to Australia. When I felt a bit better, I quickly texted the person I loved.
Me:
Hi.
Me:
Kita tayo bukas malapit sa covered court after class.
As I waited for our appointed time outside, I took a quick shower and got ready. This was it—the moment I had been waiting for. The girl I loved and I would finally spend some quality time together!
My girl:
Hi
My girl:
Papunta na me, Ingat ka lagi. I love you!
As soon as I received her text, I hurried out of the house to pick her up. I made sure to bring my ID to enter the campus. While I was driving, Jessa suddenly called.
[Lance, favor,] she said.
As far as I knew, she had ended things with her ex-boyfriend. I wondered what this girl's madness was about again. Still, I decided to ask her what was going on.
[Last na lang 'to, Lance. Nasa loob ako ng campus nakatambay si Prince sa likod ng building. Dating gawin tayo, kunwari maghahalikan tayo. Ganu'n. Please, pumayag kana.] She said in the call.
In the end, she agreed with me. I also texted Shainny earlier to let her know that I'm going to be a little late.
We've been here for two hours, but she hasn't made a move yet. It's already six in the evening when I thought of texting her again. When I checked my messages to her, I realized I forgot to hit send on my text. I slapped my forehead in frustration. It had been waiting for a while. She had been texting me for a while now. I wanted to text her back, but I had no load. It had just expired. Really unlucky.
Three hours had passed before this girl took a step. She said that her ex-boyfriend was not with her. I'm also worried about Shainny, maybe something happened to her.
"Sumabay ka lang, Lance. Basta makisakay ka lang sa mga sasabihin ko," tugon ni Jessa.
I was nervous, but I simply nodded to get it over with quickly.
Ba't pa kasi ako pumayag. Kakainis!
Honey, sorry. Ipapaliwanag ko lahat lahat sayo ito. I'll promise.
Jessa's face inched closer to mine. I was tempted to push her away, but she subtly guided me to take a step, so I just went along with it. That was her response earlier.
"Pretend we're kissing, okay?" Jessa whispered in my ear.
I nodded to her. I just wanted this scene to be over so I could go see Shainny.
"Yes! Fuck sarap mo! More! I will suck your tongue, baby!" I moaned fakely.
I raised my voice loud enough for Jessa's ex-boyfriend to hear. I could see the annoyance on Jessa's face because the person she was pursuing didn't seem to care. Both Jessa and I turned to see the source of the noise from the plastic bottle on our side. When I saw who it was, nervousness washed over me, causing me to swallow hard.
"Masarap ba?" pagak na tumawa ni Shainny. "Sige, ituloy niyo na. . . naistorbo ko pa kayo. Sorry. "
This is where my fear began to take hold. I tried everything to get her to retract the words 'we are separated,' but she remained stubborn. I couldn't blame her because I had fallen short. As her boyfriend, I had so many shortcomings, especially because I hadn't seen her in a while.
Was this how I would repay her?
No! I couldn't do that to her.
Even though I wasn't certain, I told him when I would probably leave.
This is it!
I didn't need to hide it from her anymore. I didn't need to hide anymore. And I didn't even need to think about her anymore.
"Don't push me away, Shain. . ." I almost whispered, sounding like I'm begging.
I only did what I did because my family was desperate for help. I did it hoping they'd help me stay here. But why? Why did you give up so easily? Why can't you fight for me?
"You said one thing. . . You said you'd stay by my side. . ." I cried. "You said one thing, Shain. . ."
"Hindi, wala akong sasabihin sa'yo! Umalis ka na!" giit niya. "Pinagsisihin kita. . . Pinagsisihan kong kung bakit ikaw pa. . . Kung bakit ikaw pa ang minahal ko!"
If she repented, why did she love me, but I... I never regretted why I loved you, Shainny.
Another punch. Yet, I still can. I can do it for him. But I couldn't say anything because it felt like everything I had to say was suddenly swallowed up. I swallowed my own words.
"Lumapit ka, please. . ." I covered my mouth to stop screaming. "Lapit ka na, hon. . ."
I grab her wrist, urging her to come closer to me. I press my forehead close to hers, locking eyes with her. I can smell her breath—it smells good, like mint. In that moment, I want to kiss her one last time.
I know this is the last. This is the final time I'll see her smile, her beautiful eyes, her nose, her rosy cheeks, her kissable lips. But it's all ruined because of me. I hug her tightly, cherishing the moment.
"Just tell me you love me, and I won't leave you alone. . . I'll choose you," I whisper, my voice barely audible.
"That's enough. Just go," she replies.
Please, don't leave me, Shainny. You're the only one I have, but you're still going to leave me?
I want to say that to him, but now I'm thinking more about his feelings.
"Don't show yourself again. I don't want to see any reminders of what we had," she continues.
I release her from our embrace, meeting her gaze. I can see the pain and exhaustion I've caused reflected in her eyes.
"Fine. . . Starting tomorrow, you won't see me again. Not even my shadow," I declare. "This is for you. . . Shainny, I'll do whatever it takes to stop the suffering."
"Sana sa pagbalik ko, ako pa rin." I whispered.
Wala na. The girl I love has given up. I don't know what to do. I can only think of one solution so that she doesn't have to suffer anymore.
When I got home, I packed all my things to leave. Mama didn't even know I was going to arrange my things. After I packed, I went down to the living room to watch, but when I went down, I saw Mama organizing papers for Grandma.
"Lance, when do you plan to leave?" Mommy opened up to me. "You have to go there."
Great! Mommy didn't even say hello to me. You are sick, Mom!
I was quiet for a few minutes, contemplating whether it's right to leave Shainny, even though we're through, or should I just let it go?
"Anak. . .when did you—"
"Tomorrow. I want to leave tomorrow!" I said loudly. "Are you happy?!"
I laughed bitterly. "Are you happy because I'm leaving? Are you happy because we're through? Are you happy? Mom, I just love her, but... why do you hold a grudge against me! I-I love her. Mommy. . sobrang mahal ko si Shainny! Pero ngayon. . . w-wala na kami, paano na ako? Sino pa babalikan ko?"
Kitang-kita sa mga mata ni Mama ang gulat. "Joaquin. . ."
"Don't call me Joaquin, Mom!" Napapikit ako dahil sa inis na meron ako. "Paano na siya? Nagmahal rin naman kayo, ha?! Bakit. . . Bakit pinagkakait niyo ang babaeng mahal ko?!"
Napatakip na lang ng mukha si Mama. "Lance, kailangan ka ng Lola mo. . . Lola mo iyon!"
Leaving her to cool off, I gazed at her for a long moment before exiting the room. She remained focused on her task, as she often did when she needed time to clear her head.
With a shake of my head, I left her to her thoughts. "Grabe kayo, lagi na lang ako ang nakikita niyo!"
As she gazed at me, pain etched in her eyes, I silenced her attempts to speak, recognizing that I was addressing my mother, not someone else.
Sometimes, when you're truly full, you're just full.
It dawned on me that I couldn't carry everything alone. The burden was too heavy, and I felt it pressing down on me, threatening to overwhelm me every time I struggled.
The next day, I departed alone, without bidding them farewell or engaging in conversation. Departing felt like leaving with a heavy heart, consumed by a profound sense of devastation.
Lance, you'll get through this. You're capable of standing on your own.
You need to accept that love, even from Cupid, can be harsh.
Upon returning to Australia, I hastened to visit my grandmother. As I entered her room, the sight of her frail form pierced me to the core. Tubes and needles surrounded her, a stark reminder of her frailty.
Had I caused her suffering with my actions?
As I watched over her, she suddenly stirred. Locking eyes with me, a glimmer of recognition flickered in her gaze, and a smile graced her lips.
"A-Apo. . . Joaquin. . ." Hirap na hirap na rin siyang magsalita. "A-ang apo 'ko. . . nandito ka na! Apo, sobrang tagal kitang hinintay!"
"Opo, L-Lola. Nandito na ang pinakapoging apo niyo!" paiyak kong tugon, I smiled painfull.
Sa kabila na maraming nakaturok na aparatos sa katawan ay nakuha niya pa rin tumawa at ngumiti.
"Babantayan kita, Lola. Ako na magbabantay sa'yo simulang oras na 'to! Basta magpagaling ka Lola. Pupuhta tayo sa park kapag okay ka na." I smiled.
"H'wag na, apo. Masaya ako na narito ka ngayon. S-sobrang. . sobrang saya ko. . ." She smiled with her teary eyes. "Ang laki-laki mo na, Apo. . . Ang gwapo talaga ng apo ko!"
As those words fell from her lips, I held her tightly, letting tears stream down my cheeks, finding solace in my grandmother's embrace. It was something I desperately needed. The next day, life seemed to settle into a peaceful rhythm, but Shainny continued to occupy my thoughts. She remained the focal point of my heart and mind, a presence I couldn't shake.
"Lance, wake up!" My uncle's voice jolted me from my thoughts. "Your Grandma. . .Your Grandma. . . she's. . . dead!"
His words hung heavy in the air, freezing time around me. I stood there, paralyzed, unwilling to believe what I had just heard. Surely, it couldn't be true. She was still alive, right? It had to be a nightmare, a cruel trick of the mind.
But as I pinched myself, the harsh reality set in. It wasn't a dream. It was all too real.
"Uncle, she's still alive. . .you're lying, right?" I chuckled weakly, desperately clinging to a shred of hope. "Kausap ko pa siya kagabi. Nagtatawanan pa kami. Kumain pa kami ng sabay. Sinubuan ko pa siya. Magkatabi pa kami natulog kagabi. . . Umuwi lang ako kaninang madaling araw dahil kailangan ko ayusin ang mga gamit ko!"
With trembling words, I clung to a fragile hope, refusing to accept the harsh reality of my grandmother's passing.
"She's still alive, Uncle. . . My Grandma is still here! She promised me she'd get better! I'll feed her now. I'm sure she's hungry!"
"Uncle, let's go see her. Maybe she misses me! I can't believe it! She's still here!" My voice quivered with disbelief, desperation lacing every word. "Tito. . . hindi tayo iiwan ni Lola, right? Nakangiti pa siya kahapon bago ko siya iwan kina Ate. . . Kung totoo man ang sinasabi mo. . . wala na akong Lola! Nawala na naman ang isang babaeng pinakamamahal ko. Wala na ako'ng Lolo, nawala pa si Lola! Tito, hirap. . ."
Umiyak lang ako umiyak. Hindi na rin ako nakaligo para mapuntahan kaagad si Lola. Nang makita ko ang lola ko. Doon pa lang ako naniniwala.
Wala na ang lola ko!
As tears streamed down my face, I stumbled through the door, my body racked with sobs. I didn't even pause to wash away the evidence of my grief. All I could think about was getting to Lola, clinging to the desperate hope that somehow, she'd still be there, waiting for me with her comforting presence.
But when I entered her room, reality crashed down upon me like a tidal wave. There she lay, so still, so peaceful, yet undeniably gone. My grandmother, the pillar of strength in my life, was no longer with us.
In the days that followed, I retreated into the confines of my room, shutting out the world around me. I couldn't bear to face the emptiness that now permeated every corner of our home. The pain was like a relentless weight upon my chest, crushing me with its intensity.
In the midst of darkness, I found a spark of determination. Despite my sorrow, I vowed to honor my grandmother's memory through my studies, striving to make her proud.
But as I pondered love's nature, I realized its joy could be overshadowed by immense pain. Losing my grandmothers reminded me of life's fragility and the heartache love can bring.
I questioned Cupid's intentions, puzzled by how something beautiful could cause such agony. Yet, despite the despair, I believed love was worth fighting for, hoping one day its light would shine brightly again.
Love is too painful isn't it? Cupids are so stupid aren't they?
One month.
Two months.
Three months.
Four months.
Five months.
Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.
One year.
Two years.
Three years.
Four years.
Five years.
Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.
Twelve years.
She didn't message me. She didn't call me para kamustahin niya ako. Pero, sino ba naman ako para kausapin niya?
Ako lang naman nagpahirap at winasak ang buhay niya. But. . .
I really miss her.
Despite the pain she caused, I couldn't summon anger. Love held me back. Returning to the Philippines, I aimed to reclaim what was rightfully mine. I prayed it wasn't too late.
I hope Cupid will be on our side. My time here in the Philippines will be short, as I still have unfinished business and papers to attend to in Australia. While scrolling through Instagram in the car, Erica's post shattered me—it showed Kenzo and Shainny together, leaving me with burning questions and a heavy heart.
Ba't mukhang nagiba ang katawan ni Kenzo? Is he alright?
Saan siya nakatingin? Parang hindi aware si Kenzo kung nasaan ang camera.
Why does Kenzo's body seem to have changed? Is he okay?
Where is he looking? Kenzo doesn't seem to be aware of where the camera is.
Days had passed, I have a meeting scheduled today. My client chose where a new restaurant has opened here at Holy Angel. Even though I was just at the door of the restaurant, I could see the person I love.
She is so beautiful! Nothing has changed in his face! She is really beautiful.
She's my girl, anyway.
Her name, Shainny De Leon.
"You did it. . . Ms. De leon."
Pagkatapos kong banggitin iyon sa kaniya ay tumalikod na ako. Seeing the one I love brings me immense happiness. I make it a point to visit the restaurant frequently, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Despite setting up meetings there, she's never present. Still, I persist in my efforts to see her again.
Amidst the nightlife with my friend Zack, we ended up at the Grill Out Bar near the Friendship Highway. I indulged in two bottles of wine, fending off advances from other women by insisting I was married with a child, all the while yearning for Shainny.
Despite the cringe-worthy situation, my thoughts were consumed by her. That night, we shared a profound connection, making love and creating a cherished memory together.
In the days that followed, I frequented Shainny's restaurant, much to the annoyance of her staff. Yet, every glimpse of her was worth it. I was delighted to see her with her father, capturing the moment in a photograph to treasure.
Meeting her father for the first time was nerve-wracking, but his kindness brought me a sense of joy amidst the uncertainty.
"Papa. . .p'wede pong, uhm. . ." kinakabahan kong itanong.
Tumawa lang siya. "Ano iyon? Sabihin mo na."
"Kung p'wedeng hiramin ko muna si Shainny kahit saglit lang?" Nahihiyang tanong ko.
Waiting for Kenzo's response felt like an eternity, with my plans hanging in the balance. Despite my nerves, I reached out to Erica and Lyzza, enlisting their help to prepare the back area of the NepoQuad for our date. I was determined to court Shainny once more, to show her my unwavering affection and commitment.
Thankfully, Erica and Lyzza were eager to assist, offering their support without hesitation. With their help secured, I entrusted them to handle the arrangements while I focused on my preparations for the upcoming date.
"Syempre naman! Kahit h'wag muna iuwi." nagulat ako sa naging sagot ang Papa ni Shainny.
A wide smile adorned my face as we shared laughter and conversation. Yet, amidst the joy, a pang of sadness began to creep in. It's the way of the world, isn't it? Many people shy away from excessive joy because they know it often brings a companion sadness.
"Mahal pa rin kita p-pero sana hayaan mo pa rin ako pumasok sa buhay mo. . . handa ako-magsakripisyo para sayo. . . handa ko gawin ang lahat para mapatawad mo ako. . . Shainny, Please, comeback to me, kung gusto mong ligawan kita, liligawan kita kahit gaano katagal 'yan basta maibalik ko lang ang tiwala mo sa akin." nanginginig boses ni Lance sambit nito.
He nodded earnestly. "Please, just let me explain everything that happened between us. Hear me out, Shainny. . ."
"I still love you, but I understand if you need time. . . I'm willing to make sacrifices for you. . . I'll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness. . . Shainny, please, come back to me. If you want to take things slow, I'll wait as long as it takes to earn back your trust," Lance's voice wavers with emotion. "P-Please, come back, hold me once more. . . I'll fight for you. P-Please, come back to me. . ."
"Pero. . . Lance, hindi ko pa rin alam," tugon ko. "Kailangan ko lang paliwanag mo kung bakit. Kung Paano? So perhaps, I've struggled to move on because I never received closure from you after you left, and even now, I still carry that burden with me."
"Alright, I'm prepared to explain. I'll do it if you're willing to listen," I said, ny voice lowering. "But remember, I yold you before, 'Hayaan mo lang ako mahalin ka hanggang sa mapagod ako,"
She smiled, "You just let me love you secretly but I never got tired of loving you. You deserve to be loved. You will come back to me. One of my goals is to have you back."
She smiled because of what I said. Seeing her smile makes me happy. I love her. She's the one I love the most.
"I don't care if Cupid tries to keep us apart. I'm not afraid of him anymore. If he tries to keep us apart again, I'll find my own way to you. Even if you're far away, I'll find a way to be close to you." I gazed into her eyes as I spoke earnestly.
"Even if we're miles apart, my love for you bridges the gap," I grinned, gently squeezing my cheeks.
It's tomorrow. I'm leaving for Australia tomorrow, but I'm still trying to get him to come here to Nepoquad. I asked Lyzza and Erica for help again for our date, but despite their efforts, I'm struggling to get him here. I've messaged him several times, but I haven't received a reply.
I've been waiting here in Nepoquad for hours, hoping he'll show up. It's nine o'clock in the evening, but he's still nowhere to be seen. I'm starting to lose hope that he'll come.
Nine-ten in the evening.
I'm on the verge of giving up. It feels like the universe is against us, even after twelve years. Why does it keep tormenting us?
Why?!
I've lost control, lashing out at everything around me. I throw stones and punch the styrofoam decorations I set up. Tears stream down my face uncontrollably as I release my frustration and anguish.
"S-Shainny, why?! We're going to be apart again! I'm leaving tomorrow, but why. . . didn't you come?!" I shouted, frustration and sadness echoing in my voice.
With a heavy sigh, I looked up, tears brimming in my eyes. "Why didn't you show up?! I'm already hurting, but I'm still here, waiting for you! It's okay... I'm exhausted, but as long as you're with me, it's okay. . ."
Feeling drained, I collapsed onto the grass, overwhelmed by emotion. "Honey, I just need you to know how much I love you. I'm ready. . . I'm ready to stand by your side."
I caught my breath, panting after nearly letting out a scream. As I rose from my bed, the clock showed it was already nine-thirty in the evening. He wouldn't be coming. There was no point in waiting any longer. Despite the disappointment, the night was still beautiful, almost painfully so.
Walking along the roadside, my thoughts drifted back over the past twelve years. I had left him, and it seemed he had forgotten me entirely. Perhaps it was time to prioritize myself for once. After all this time, he and I still revolved around him, his needs, his desires.
But now, it was time to put myself first.
Yet, deep down, I knew I couldn't. Arriving at Jenra Mall, I saw couples enjoying each other's company, laughter echoing between them as they held hands. It stirred envy within me, a longing for that happiness, even as the pain of past memories resurfaced.
"Goodbye, my love. Be happy," I whispered into the air, a farewell tinged with leaving.
I was about to board the jeep when I realized my phone was missing. Frantically, I retraced my steps, heading back to where I had been lying on the grass earlier. As I entered NepoQuad, something caught my eye, stopping me in my tracks. My heart raced as if in a racecar, sprinting towards the finish line.
There he was, standing before me. I watched silently, my heart swelling with emotion. He seemed to be crying, but as he noticed me, his eyes lit up. A genuine smile stretched across my face, nearly tearing my cheeks in its expanse. I approached him cautiously, unsure of what to do next, hardly believing that Shainny stood before me. I blinked repeatedly, confirming that he was truly there, both leaving and returning to me.
"Honey, why are you crying?" I asked, concerned about lacing my words. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
He quickly wiped away his tears, and I reached out to brush them away as well. Exhaustion and panic radiated from him, evident in his tear-stained eyes. I took his arm gently, checking for any injuries.
"What's the matter, love?" I inquired softly. As I held him, he burst into tears, embracing me tightly.
Surprised by his sudden embrace, I wrapped my arms around him, comforting him as he sobbed against my chest. It felt surreal, to be smiling while the one I loved cried in my arms.
"What's wrong, darling?" I whispered, holding him closer. "I'm here."
He shook his head, struggling to speak through his tears. "I just... I just needed to hold you. . ."
I chuckled softly. "It's okay, love. Just tell me what's on your mind. Shush. . . Don't cry."
Gradually, he released his grip and looked at me, from head to toe.
"Stop crying. I'm here," I reassured him, smiling tenderly.
Her face turned right away upon seeing me in front of her. Hanggang ngayon ba galit pa rin siya?
I felt sting on my chest when she started sobbing and crying.
My lips rose to form a small smirk. I remembered myself a while ago, I asked myself, how could I be alone if my girl needs me? How could I be alone if my girl loves me. Kung aalis ako? Paano na siya?
That wasn't fair. Naiisip ko pa lang, hindi ko na kaya.
My love for her burns so fiercely that I'd move mountains to ensure Shainny's happiness. Cupid's games may have torn us apart, but I'll beg, I'll kneel before her, pleading relentlessly for her return. I crave her presence with a passion that knows no bounds. I'd give my life a thousand times over for her sake.
God, I wanted her back.
She pleaded with a trembling voice, "Please, don't go. . . Lance. . . Stay with me. . ."
I let out a heavy sigh and I pinched her cheeks. "Okay. I'll stay with you, it won't happen again. I will never let that happen again."
My heart overflowed with love and joy. I had longed for this moment for years, and now it was here, right before my eyes. Overwhelmed with emotion, tears filled my eyes as I reached for her wrist, drawing her closer, and gazing into her gentle face. Slowly and very softly my lips touched her and gave me the sweetest kiss. No pressure. No rush. No forcing.
I placed one of my hands at the back of her wrist and I pulled her closer so we could feel more of our lips. Our moves are slowly and smooth.
Now, having her back fills me with immense happiness. Over the past twelve years, I've longed for this moment, wishing I could still be with her. I pray she won't seek someone else.
"I love you, Shainny," I whispered in her ear, eliciting a giggle from her. "You've always been, and still are, my Chihuahua."
"I love you so much, Joaquin," she replied, sealing her words with a kiss on my lips.
I would give everything for their happiness. I would give up anything just to stay by her side.
Shainny De Leon.
Her name is like a spark of joy in my life. With Shainny by my side, I feel like I have a guiding light that shines brighter than the sunsets. I'll fight for her, against anyone and even Cupid himself, just to ensure her happiness. I'd endure Cupid's arrows and mend my wounds countless times if it means being with her. I'll do anything for her.
Thank you, Cupid, for making me resilient. Thank you for teaching us the value of perseverance, resilience, and the power of love. You're the reason why I've experienced such deep love, and why I'll continue to cherish it.
It's okay to be struck again and again, as long as I keep falling for her.
Having a radiate who shines as brightly as the luminous skies and glitters that illuminate the sunset, I'm grateful for her presence in my life.
I will never allow her to part ways from my life.
I can't imagine myself without her. I can't fathom life without her. I'm prepared to sacrifice everything but her. I couldn't desire anything more, as long as she remains by my side. The thought of her in another man's embrace is unbearable; she belongs solely to me.
Please, Cupid, don't allow her to be with anyone else, don't let her fall for another.
Thank you, Cupid, for uniting us. Thank you for being by my side. I hope you allow us to be free. Regardless of your decision, I'll continue to fight for her.
It's been a year, and we've faced some tough times, especially for Shainny. Losing someone close to her hit her hard, but I remained a source of strength and support.
I couldn't bear to leave her alone. She cried endlessly. Every waking moment was filled with tears. Morning, noon, and night, the sound of her sobbing echoed in my ears as she struggled to come to terms with the loss.
But I stayed by her side. I provided a shoulder for her to cry on whenever she needed it. I remained steadfast and acted as her shelter during her storm.
Finally, after much pain and struggle, Shainny found acceptance.
Cupid. . . cupid. . .cupid. You're so stupid. You are so stupid to make a love story like this if we are also suffering from what you are doing.
I hope you spare others from the pain you've caused us. May they find love without enduring the same hardships.
The glitters will scatter their light, and that light will shine brighter, like a radiant sunset.
Because of the Cupid's arrows, love reaches those who truly deserve it, and woe to anyone who dares stand in its way..
I chose her. My heart belongs to Shainny. With her, my world is brighter, filled with glimmers of joy and skies of endless possibilities.
Finally, she's by my side, and I couldn't be happier.
She's not just my love, she's my light, my happiness, and my life. Like the vibrant hues of a sunset painting the sky with its mesmerizing beauty, she fills my world with warmth and color.
Her presence is like a sprinkle of glitters, adding sparkle to every moment we share. With her by my side, life becomes a breathtaking journey, filled with endless possibilities and enchanting surprises.
She's the sunset to my day, the glitters to my sky, and the love that makes every moment shine brighter.
She means everything to me.
She's my sweet Shainny.
-END-
N A M E L E S S G U Y 2 5
Please, read my Namelessguy's Note.
Thank you, unknown babies, because you took me on my journey and never left me. I really appreciate it so much, for Unknowns!
I'm hoping you'll continue to go with me as I write "Whisper of Virtouso (Love Material Series #2)" until it's finished.