Jennie
I duck inside the library, completely soaked from head to toe. Nothing like biking down a hill in a torrential downpour to make you feel alive.
As I'm drying my squeaking shoes off on the entryway rug, a hand wraps around my arm, pulling me into a small alcove just next to the front doors.
"Ew," Jisoo says, rubbing her hand against her new Levi's jeans. "You're wet."
I roll my eyes then pretend to squeegee the edge of my shirt onto her. She jumps out of the way, glaring at me. "Yeah, well, I would've waited out the storm in the chem building if it weren't for someone texting me every ten seconds asking when I was getting here."
I crane my neck, looking past her into the main room, my eyes landing on a rectangular table by the café where Lisa and Chaeyoung are already sitting, books open in front of them.
"Did you go over yet or have you just been creepily standing by the front door this whole time?"
"Creepily standing by the front door," Jisoo replies, hoisting up the straps on her enormous backpack.
I give her a once-over. Not only does she clearly own an umbrella, but she looks pretty good. She's got her new jeans on and a cute graphic T-shirt we picked up from H&M, her black hair in a messy bun to protect it from the rain.
I nod, slightly impressed. It's a definite improvement from her usual four outfits. "I like your jeans!"
Jisoo's cheeks redden slightly. "Thanks." She glances down at her clothes. "Took me like an hour to decide on an outfit. Wanted to save the best stuff for a real date."
"Nice. I like that kind of thinking. Now..." I grab her arm this time, spinning her around to face the main floor of the library. "Let's see what Chaeyoung thinks."
We head over to the table, and Chaeyoung and Lisa look up as we arrive.
"Hey!" Chaeyoung says, scooching her books closer to make room for us. Lisa follows suit, hoisting her enormous dance textbook out of the way, a sea of brightly colored highlighters sitting in front of her.
"Hey," Jisoo responds as she... plunks down in the chair farthest from Chaeyoung.
"Cute shirt!" Lisa says, and Chaeyoung nods in agreement which... is better than nothing.
"Hey Jisoo," I say, tapping her chair leg with my foot. "Don't you need to use the outlet?" I nod to the open seat directly across from Chaeyoung, hoping she gets the hint.
Thankfully, she does.
"Oh! Right. Yeah," Jisoo says, her eyes wide with nerves as she switches seats.
Pull it together kid. The whole team is counting on you.
"You do the reading for John's class?" Chaeyoung asks, holding up a copy of 1984.
Jisoo and I nod, and I give her a look that screams, say something.
"Yeah, uh, thought we left that in high school but I guess not."
Good, finally some progress. The joke hits and Chaeyoung laughs, shaking her head. "Tell me about it. Once was more than enough."
On this particular book, I actually agree with her.
The small talk gives way to studying and I spend the next hour trying to be interested in ionic and covalent bonds, while Jisoo not-so-casually glances across the table at Chaeyoung a hundred and one times, her pen tapping noisily against her notebook.
I lean back and stretch, my damp clothes squeaking on the chair under me as I eye the bookshelves at the front of the library.
I'm already through the chunky fantasy I got the second week of classes and I've been itching to grab a couple of books after my fight with Irene. And with my mum. Especially since I haven't heard from either of them since last night.
My fingers tap on the table in front of me as I glance down at my phone. No new messages.
Feeling guilty over what I said last night, I sent my mum fifty dollars this morning and she sent it back instantly without a word of explanation. I tried calling her and she wouldn't pick up. Tried texting her... no reply.
I know it shouldn't make me nervous. I mean, her bills are on autopay, I have groceries delivered, and the neighbour's swinging by to check in on her, but I haven't been able to stop...
I scoot my chair back and stand, everyone's heads turning to look up at my sudden movement.
Relax Jennie. Play it cool.
"I'm gonna take a lap. Can't learn any more about atomic bonds with the temptation of a new read just inches away, am I right?" I say, stretching casually before pushing my chair in and heading across the main floor to disappear into the stacks. Jisoo's eyes widen at my words, but I give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze as I pass.
On my way, I catch sight of Hyunah, my roommate, waiting in a line at the café. I nod hello and she miraculously gives me a small wave back.
Talk about progress!
She must've realised whatever went down wasn't my fault. She even said thank you to me the other night for taking out the trash.
I should probably start making our friendship bracelets now.
I head to the young adult fiction section where I grab a Romeo and Juliet retelling and a fantasy book I've seen plastered all over BookTok, before scooping up a couple of old favorites: Cyrano de Bergerac, Little Women, and Pride and Prejudice. That last one has been stuck in my head since my questions game with Jisoo last week. I know I won't have time to read all of them in two weeks but just having them makes me feel more grounded, and with everything going on with Irene and my mum, I definitely need that.
When I get back to the table, Chaeyoung is belly laughing at something Jisoo said, and Jisoo is grinning from ear to ear like she just won an Oscar.
"Jeez," she says, prodding my stack of books as I set them down on the table. "Why exactly are you premed when all you do is read?"
I slap her prodding finger away. "I don't know, job security? A great starting salary?"
Jisoo rolls her eyes. "Do you even like this stuff?" she asks, holding up my chem textbook, her arm giving way from the weight.
"Not particularly," I say as I grab it back from her. I point to Chaeyoung's copy of 1984. "But you don't like that stuff so..."
"Yeah, but you love this stuff. Probably more than either of us," Jisoo says as she pulls Pride and Prejudice from my stack. Chaeyoung and Lisa nod in agreement from across the table. "Can you say that about anything in premed?"
I raise my eyebrows at her. "Did you not hear me say 'a great starting salary'?"
"Oh come on," Chaeyoung says. "Money's not as important as doing what you love."
I roll my eyes so hard they practically pop out of my skull. "Do either of you even know what you're going to do to pay the bills with a degree in English?"
Jisoo shrugs. "Well no. Not yet but–"
"That doesn't matter right now." Chaeyoung speaks over her, jumping to her defense.
Seriously? I open my mouth to say something but Jisoo swoops in, trying to smooth things over.
"I think they can both be important. Money, doing what you love," she says, glancing between me and Chaeyoung, her eyes landing and staying on mine. "Agree to disagree, I guess."
She gives me an apologetic smile and plunks the book back down on top of the pile. I snort and scoop it up, opening to the first page, glad for once that the conversation is over.
But... the words blur in front of me as I keep thinking about it. While I'm not sure I really want to spend the next decade in school for something I don't even like, I don't exactly have the luxury of worrying about what I do like. I don't have the privilege to just do what I love. Not with things the way they are. Not when I have to support my mum.
I glance over at my phone, resisting the urge to send another text her way.
"Well, I'm going to get something from the café," Jisoo says, scooching her chair back.
"I'll come with you!" Chaeyoung says. Jisoo's eyes form a near-perfect imitation of a deer caught in the headlights. But she pulls herself together quickly.
I swallow my annoyance and shoot her a thumbs up when Chaeyoung ducks down to grab her wallet out of her backpack.
"You guys want anything?" Chaeyoung asks.
"Chocolate chip cookie," Lisa says, her hand brushing against Chaeyoung's, for a little too long, to hand her dining card. I shake my head, brushing off a crazy thought.
As they walk away, Jisoo's hands are nervously shoved into the pockets of her jeans while Chaeyoung talks about the biscotti she got here the other day that Jisoo just has to try.
I smile to myself, a wave of relief washing over me. How about that, Irene? Talk about progress!
It's a weird feeling though. Especially after the less-than-ideal phone call the other day. Like... this might not prove anything to her anymore, but even if it doesn't I just...
I genuinely want Jisoo to succeed.
Because I care about her. Because she's my friend. No matter what Irene thinks.
I shake my head and look back down at my book.
Let step three commence.