It was a sunny day when Laecie packed her bags. The sun was sweltering, achingly hot, sweat dripped from her brow and chest as she folded and stuffed her stuff into her suitcase. Her eyes hadn't stopped crying in two days. She hadn't even really noticed how much they were streaming until today when she had to wipe away her tears every few minutes.
She had played a record by The Smiths all morning, Hatful of Hollow, because so many of the songs reminded her of James.
She finally shoved the top of her suitcase down to zip it over, her room in the Italian home empty and bare for the year to follow. She smiled softly to herself, melancholic.
She walked slowly to the kitchen, running her finger along the middle of the wall as she went, still crying nonchalantly.
As the got to the kitchen, she glanced at the clock. She had about 15 minutes to spare before leaving for the airport.
After the road trip, she and all her friends had their annual goodbye night. They drank, sat together, sang, hugged and ate. They knew they'd see one another a year later but it was still so hard. When you get used to someone like that, it seems to feel like moving away when you have to say goodbye. It's crazy, she thought, how people can become a home rather than a house.
She drank a glass of water, swiping her tears off with her free hand. Her luggage was heavy under her wrist.
She knew where the tears were pouring from.
She knew in a few minutes, James would arrive to accompany her. She knew he'd stay for another week without her, unsure of what he'd do. She knew they'd have to kiss once more and say goodbye.
Everyday, a few times, she rewrote his telephone number into the palm of her hand so she wouldn't forget. She couldn't imagine a day without him now. It had felt like a lifetime of them loving one another, even if it was only a few months. The feelings he gave her were the strongest she'd ever felt- in fact, she remembered being a bit drunk and sitting down on the toilet, admitting to herself James was her first love, the first person who made her feel on fire.
Again, she wiped her tears.
Her father slumped down the corridor, smiling sympathetically.
"I'm going to miss you so much."
He said gently. Laecie filled up even more, her brows furrowing a little as more tears fell. Another reminder of her absence.
"I'm going to miss you too, dad."
She said into his chest.
They held one another for a moment before he stroked her hair softly, lifting her away.
"Okay, cmon, I'll see you again in a few months."
He said, smiling sadly down at her.
"I know."
She said.
"I just feel so lost this time."
She whispered, clinging to him again.
"Love is a funny thing, my girl."
He chuckled softly.
"Don't worry, it'll all be here waiting for you next year."
Laecie nodded ever so slightly, letting go of her father. She went into the hall, looking out the window and waiting for James.
Bucky drove slowly that day. He went as slow as possible, noting every part of the road ahead as the last time he'd see that sign or tree before he and Laecie parted.
He hadn't cried, but he was empty. He couldn't imagine anything without her now. He wondered how cruel love could be and thought about the stories he'd heard from his friends of summer flings. He thought of Grease, how they met again, how they never parted after, how they flew off into the distance and lived happily ever after.
He shook his head.
His wheel tugged at his hands as he pulled into the driveway, chuckling sarcastically at the cruelty of it all. Even his car resisted separating from her.
When he got out, Laecie was stood in her doorway. Her face was the saddest he'd ever seen. She couldn't even look at him without bursting into sobs. She walked over to him quickly, her face immediately Meeting his chest. He wrapped his arms so tightly around her, holding her as he felt her hot, wet tears soak his shirt.
He pulled her face up to look at him, kissing her face all over, not noticing how his eyes filled up until they blurred his vision. He blinked them away quickly, so as not to upset his girl even more. He held her hand into the car, buckling her in and throwing her bag into the trunk.
She said goodbye to her dad, kisses and hugs, farewells until next year. She then got into his car. He started the engine, pulling out slowly.
Laecie wiped her face.
"I know we'll see one another next year,"
She began,
"But I don't know how I'm going to do this year without you. I'm going to think about you every minute of every day."
She said numbly.
"You have to call me, everyday, no matter what happens you call. And, I'll get the train, I'll meet you, as much as I possibly can."
Bucky demanded, staring at her briefly before focusing back on the road. Although, he knew this was his last summer in Italy. He knew what awaited him in America.
Laecie nodded, gripping onto his hand on the stick shift.
"I will. How could I not?"
She chuckled sadly. Bucky lifted her hand and kissed it.
"I'll never stop wondering about you."
He said.
After a while of silence, nothing more to say, they arrived at the airport.
It felt like the weight of the world was on Bucky's chest. He helped Laecie out with her bags, lifting them all the way to the gate. Her eyes poured tears out like a tap, never ending hot, fat drops rolling down her bare face.
She gripped onto him, wrapping herself around him, breathing in his scent, never wanting to let go.
Bucky pulled out a t-shirt, tucking it into her hands.
"I've worn this for the last two days, it should smell like everything I smell like. I love you."
He said, stroking his thumb over her cheek.
She leaned up and kissed him, her hands gripping the hair at the back of his head, desperate to pause time. They didn't let go for a long time, holding one another.
They pulled away slowly, not wanting to let go of one another. Laecie put a letter in Bucky's dry hands.
"Read this when you miss me so much but you can't call."
She smiled sadly, kissing his face again once more.
"I have to tell you.."
Bucky whispered. Laecie looked up at him, confused and upset.
"I won't be back here again. This is it for me, I'm not going back to New York, I'm not coming back to Italy. I'm moving, to England. I got a job there, something that'll pay my way for the rest of my life. Not a pool boy, not a maintenance man, a good job. Lace, I don't know when I'll see you again. I don't know if I'll see you again."
He blurted almost, breaking his voice and becoming tearful now.
"I couldn't bear to tell you, I didn't want to hurt you until we had to go. I didn't want to upset you, I'm so sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you."
Laecie looked up at him, her brow downturned but a melancholic smile on her face. She nodded a little, picking up her bags. She kissed him softly once more.
"I'm so proud of you. You're the most amazing person I've ever met."
She cried now, trying to dry her tears with the back of her wrists.
"And I'll never forget you."
She whispered, taking Bucky's thumb in her hand and swiping the phone number away from her palm. His thumb erased the pen in only a few swipes.
Bucky looked up into her eyes as she stepped back from him, releasing his thumb. He looked between her eyes, as she smiled sadly again, waving with the hand she'd just cleaned.
"You know that won't work."
She whispered, picking up her bags.
"But you know I love you. But I can't live thinking about you forever. I have to go, I love you, I'll never forget."
She said as she backed away, turning around and looking at him over her shoulder. Bucky pursed his lips and nodded, smiling too, because at least they'd closed the chapter.
"If I'm lucky, we'll meet again!"
He yelled as she walked off. She laughed loudly, tearfully, before turning away and walking toward her gate. Bucky kissed his fingers and raised his hand behind her, allowing her to feel his love no matter how far. He'd hoped she'd caught it. He'd hoped she'd felt it.
And then, after two hours, Bucky turned around himself and walked back to his car, alone, face crusty, starting his car and going home. Before the ignition roared, he opened his wallet, staring at the photograph of Laecie with the blue lollipop in her mouth on the boat, stroking her photographs cheek and removing the photo. He rolled his window down as he drove, holding the photo between his index finger and thumb, allowing the wind outside to steal the photograph from him, allowing Laecie to blow away in the wind.
The dust blew the photograph into the air and Bucky turned the radio up. He tapped the wheel. He breathed in, feeling the ghost of Laecie's scent creep into his nostrils as the road behind him grew narrower.
I suppose, he thought, love means more when lost than it does when taken for granted.
And with that, he drove into the distance, happy that he'd even felt her, happy that they were still in love, happy that it'd worked out. Happy he was lucky enough to have known her.
-
Well, that's the end!
If this chapter gets enough comments, I'll do an epilogue, which I have a plan for, but if not I'll leave it.
My next book will be a Sebastian fic aboit vampires. Well, still not sure if it's Sebastian or Bucky, can't decide.
Anyways, love you, thank you all so so much for reading and staying.
I love you I love you I love you.
(Undedited as of 17/10/22, no photo collage for this one cuz it's more ending-y hehe)
L.
<3.