Hey everyone! Hope your all okay! Here's the nest update! I hope it's not too complicated as I know it's quite a long one this time!
Enjoy xx
*Jamie's POV*
We've been back from Ireland for about three weeks. We stayed there for four weeks in total, and we got the house we wanted so we stayed so we could do that up and get all the furniture in. Dakota had gone shopping to get us all clothes to keep there for when we visit; my dad and Sam helped us out a lot.
Dakota just started filming for a movie called Madame Web. She has to stay away from home for four days a week, which isn't so bad. Mel has been helping me out with Charlotte and Noah, though they've both been angels for me. Noah is just down for a nap and Charlotte is playing in the garden, so I decide to sit out on the patio.
"Hey baby.." I answer the phone when I see Dakota is FaceTiming me. "Hey handsome.. you okay?" She smiles at me and I blush. "I'm good baby are you? How's filming?" I ask and she sighs a bit. "Today, not so good." She sighs; rubbing her eyes. "I don't know, I don't think I slept well last night so I'm probably just a bit tired.." she shrugs a bit and i pout.
"Oh I'm sorry baby" I sigh a bit and she slouches into her sofa In her trailer. "You've got two more days then you'll be back home with us baby... I just wanna cuddle you" I watch her. "I just want you here.." she whispers a bit and rubs the tears from her eyes.
"Baby I'm worried about you.." I sigh, listening when someone enters her trailer and says it's time to film again. "I'll be okay.. I'll speak to you later" she whispers, blowing me a kiss. "Love you" we both say and we disconnect the call.
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Me, Charlotte and Noah went shopping for the afternoon, trying to take our minds off of the fact we're missing Dakota a little bit. I've been worrying about her all day, hoping she's okay and eating, and drinking enough water. I text her a short while ago but there's no response so I guess she's busy filming.
As we get home Charlotte helps me take Noah upstairs for a nap, then we decide to chill on mine and mommy's bed, watching Disney movies. It gets to nine in the evening and I notice that she's fast asleep curled up to Dakota's pillow. I pout and take a photo.
I take her to her bedroom and tuck her in, kissing her head softly before leaving, shutting the door slightly. I check on Noah and he's sound asleep. I decide to head downstairs for a bit; halfway down the steps the front door opens and I frown when Dakota walks through the door.
"Dakota, what's going on?" I get to the hallway and walk to stand in front of her. She sighs and drops her bag down. "I really just wanted to be home, I told them I had a family emergency" she pouts and wraps her arms around me tightly; taking in my scent. I frown and hold her close; my hands stroking her back for comfort.
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After a while of us sitting in the lounge in silence, the only noise is being made from the television. "Please will you tell me what's going on? Your worrying me" I whisper; kissing her head and watching her as she stands up. "Please don't be mad.. like at all" she says "promise me" she looks to me before looking down to her fingers.
"I could never.." I frown; my mind going crazy trying to think of what's happened. She sighs and rubs her head. "It was a mistake, it wasn't meant to happen at all, I didn't plan for it to happen; I just forgot" she stumbles out fast; almost like she's been wanting to say it since she got home.
"It's such a bad time for this to happen.. and I don't want you to resent me for it. I just forgot one time and now I don't know what to do" she rambles on and I sit forward on the sofa; taking her hands to stop her from shaking. "Take a breath baby..." I stroke her hand and she sighs; taking a few deep breaths.
"I'm pregnant.. I'm sorry" she whispers and I frown; watching her face drop. "Pregnant.." I whisper; standing up slowly in front of her. "Wait... pregnant?" I gasp; lifting her and spinning around with her in my arms. She squeals in shock and wraps her arms around my neck.
"Your not mad?" She asks and lets out a sob when I shake my head. "How could I ever be mad at you for that?" I frown a bit, kissing her softly. "Noah and Charlotte was both planned.. we always say we want more but never agreed yet, and I'm busy with work you'll have work soon. I did the test late last night and I've been panicking ever since." She wipes her eyes and I pout; sitting down with her on my lap; helping her to wipe her cheeks.
"Planned or unplanned, I don't care. We're gonna have another baby" I grin and for the first time since she got back she grins too. I kiss her lovingly and she leans into me more; and it's then that I feel her immediately relax in my arms. "The test said three to four weeks and I remember in Ireland we was sorting the new house and couldn't keep our hands off of each other..." she giggles shyly, blushing. "I forgot to take my contraceptive pill one morning and it must've happened then.." she giggles and I chuckle; kissing her head.
"Please don't think I'd ever be mad at you, especially about something like this. It's what I want with you whether they're planned or a surprise.. they're still the best surprises" I stroke her back and she sighs with relief. "I think I just got into my head a little bit. I'm excited about it but I was thinking about the stress and the energy work is going to take out of me, and then you go to work and I'd be looking after the two children and myself I was just overthinking every tiny detail" she giggles a bit and I kiss her.
"Well don't. There's plenty of people who love us and will be more than happy to help us out." "I'm sorry for getting so worked up about it" she kisses me and I smile. "Don't be, it's okay" I kiss her once more and she snuggles into me. "I told the filming crew I'll be back in a week, so I get a few extra days at home... maybe we could call the doctors office and see about a scan or something" she suggests and I smile nodding. "Sounds perfect baby.. I'm glad your home" I whisper, taking a deep breath on her hair; taking in her scent.
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Dakota's been home for a few days now, Charlotte and Noah have been so so happy to have mommy home. We've all been spending time as a family; though today the weather is rainy and dull so we've decided we'll have a chill day on the sofa watching films and eating loads of snacks.
I've just cleaned down from breakfast; Charlotte and Noah are getting themselves comfy on the sofa and Dakota has gone to use the bathroom quickly. I gather the snacks and take them into the living room as Dakota comes back down.
"Jamie..." she calls, wandering to the living room. "You okay baby?" I look to her. "I've been feeling a little weird, I don't know how to explain it" she sighs, rubbing her head. "So I know what being pregnant feels like, but I don't feel like that right now.. I was a bit anxious so I've just taken a test and.." she frowns a bit, holding it out to me.
I peer over and frown when I realise it's negative. "Is that even possible?" I take her hand and she shrugs a bit "I'm going to call the doctors office and see whether they can do any checks." She nods a bit and I kiss her head; watching her head to the kitchen and closing the door over.
I start a Disney film for Noah and Charlotte; and sit on the edge of the opposite sofa to them. Dakota appears a few minutes later and I look to her. "They want me in for some blood tests, they wanna test my HCG levels" she pouts a bit and I nod. "Let me change out of my shorts and we'll go" I kiss her head softly and stand.
"I don't want my family to know, I'll ask addi to pop over to watch these two for us.." she smiles slightly and I nod, dashing upstairs to change into some grey Nike bottoms. As I get back downstairs she's just getting off the phone. "Addi will have them, I told her we'll drop them off." She smiles slightly to me and I nod. We both get the kids into the car and lock up the house before heading off to addisons house.
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*Dakota's POV*
"Hey.. it's going to be okay" Jamie takes me from my thoughts as we pull up to the doctors. "I hope so" I squeeze his hand softly and we get out the car; heading up to the doctors office. We're told to take a seat in the waiting area but it isn't long before we're called to go through. As we walk in there's a bed and a sonogram machine, and a chair on the other side with a table set out for my bloods. First thing she does is take my bloods so they can have the results back as soon as possible.
"Whilst they get tested I'll do your ultrasound. How many weeks did the test say you was?" She asks politely and I watch her set the machine up and cover the bed in a white sheet. "It just said three to four weeks" I say and she hands me a gown, instructing me to go behind a white sheet and take my leggings and underwear off. I do as she asks and appear a few seconds later wearing the paper gown,
I lay on the bed and she wheels the sonogram machine over to the bed; we watch her grab the ultrasound wand and Jamie takes my hand as she inserts it into me. I frown a bit at the uncomfortable feeling and the three of us look to the screen.
After a while the lady doing our scan frowns deeply; she pauses the screen and turns it to us more. "So as you can see, this is your uterus, but I can't seem to find a gestational sac.. there's no sign to tell me whether you are actually pregnant ms Johnson, I'm not sure there's anything I can do until your blood work gets back to me" she gives us both a sad smile
I look to Jamie and he's frowning a bit; I look back to her and I nod. "Is there any chance you'll have them back today?" I ask and she nods. "Most of the time we get blood work results back same day. We'll be sure to phone you as soon as they come in." She smiles warmly at me and I nod a bit; getting up off the bed and putting my underwear and leggings back on.
"I'm sorry this appointment didn't really reassure you enough, but fingers crossed your blood work comes back with some confirmation" she smiles to us and we thank her before leaving and heading back to the car. "This is going to be the longest wait ever" i sigh a bit and Jamie takes my hand. "You're okay baby; let's go and get the kids and we can all have cuddles at home" he says and I smile sadly. "I'd love that.."
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"Hello" I answer my phone. I'm sat in the living room whilst Jamie has taken Charlotte and Noah to bed for the night. "Ms Johnson it's just me with your blood results." She says softly down the phone and my heart beats fast through my chest. "Okay.." I whisper and she lets out a deep breath. "Your HCG levels were low.. lower than they should be for a pregnancy. I've spoke to a few more consultants and we think you possibly have had a chemical pregnancy." She states and I frown.
"What's that?" I mumble, sitting forward on the sofa. "A miscarry before five to six weeks pregnant is what we call a chemical pregnancy." My heart stops. "What.. why" I whisper; covering my mouth. "These types of miscarriages happen because of different things. It's sometimes caused by the lack of implantation in the uterus, genetic abnormalities or maybe even caused by a imbalanced hormone." She says softly; her voice full of sadness.
"I... so what happens now? Because you couldn't see anything on the scan earlier" I whisper, wiping a tear before it falls. "Over the next few days you'll experience period like cramps, and then you'll get your menstrual cycle but a little bit heavier." She explain. "Okay.. thank you for calling me back so soon with the results" I say softly.
"Your welcome.. I'm sorry it's not the news you wanted" she sighs softly and then we end the call as Jamie walks through. "Hey baby they're both asleep" he smiles when he comes through; but gasps sharply when I burst into tears. "What is it? What happened" he panics, kissing my head repeatedly as he pulls me into his arms and holds me close.
"I had a chemical pregnancy.." I sniffle. "It's a really early miscarriage" I cry in his arms and he holds me closer; stroking my hair from my face. The only noise between us is my cry and the odd sniffle I make when I try to calm myself. After a while of silence and crying in Jamie's arms, I'm all cried out; and I begin to shake softly in his arms.
He lifts me And carries me to bed upstairs, pulling the covers off before laying me down and getting in beside me; pulling me to him as he covers us up with the duvet. "I've got you baby.. I've got you" he whispers into my hair; and I sigh heavily. "I'm so sorry" I whisper and he kisses my hair softly.
"Dakota.. you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. This wasn't your fault so please don't blame yourself" he lifts my face so our eyes meet. "It sadly just wasn't our time. We'll have our chance soon" he strokes my cheek as fresh tears fill my eyes.
"I really don't think I can go through this again" I whisper; my voice hoarse as I hold In my emotion. I watch him swallow the lump in his throat and he pulls me closer. "I understand baby.. I've got you" he whispers, his hand on my back gently stroking me for comfort.
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*Jamie's POV*
The days and weeks after finding out about Dakota's miscarriage passed. She had a check up the week later and they confirmed that she had miscarried and she had passed everything she needed to. Within days she went back to filming and things grew distant between us.
I stayed and watched Noah and Charlotte all day everyday, we would only get chance to speak to her once a day if we were lucky. Deep down I knew she was only pushing herself into her work as a way of dealing with her feelings. But at the same time it made me feel lonely in dealing with it too. I had nobody to speak to.
She's due home today, but I'm not sure what time. I've just got back to the house after taking the kids to the park with Mel. She noticed how tired and run down I looked but I couldn't tell her what was really going on. We haven't seen Dakota for three weeks because she's been nonstop filming.
"Daddy where's mommy?" Charlotte frowns as she takes her boots off. "She'll be here soon. You and your brother go play and I'll make us some snacks baby" I stroke her head and she nods; Noah squeals when she takes his hand and they head to the living room together.
I watch them with a smile; Charlotte is nearly three and Noah is fifteen months now and Charlotte has taken to her big sister role so well. She shares her toys with him and they play quiet and happy together most of the time. They both have their moms eyes, and whilst Charlotte has fair blonde hair like Dulcie, Noah has brown hair that's like mine.
I head to the kitchen to make snacks and listen to the kids playing together at the same time. The front door opens and then closes shut again. "Mommy mommy!" I hear Charlotte and Noah both shout and then the small sound of running from their little feet hitting the floor.
"Oh my babies I missed you both so so much" I look into the hallway and she's knelt down to them hugging them both tightly with her eyes closed. I head back to finish sorting the snacks out and a few minutes later she wraps her arms around me from behind.
"Hey handsome" she whispers, kissing my back through my top. My heart beats a slightly faster, and happier, rhythm since she left us three weeks ago. "Hey" I turn in her arms and kiss her head softly. She smiles and heads to the fridge; grabbing herself a bottle of water before sitting at the breakfast table. I hand Charlotte their snack bowls of fruit and she runs off to the living room with them.
"I swear they've grown so much since I left" she pouts as we watch them leave the room. "I know.. you was gone for a while though.." I say softly and she turns back to me, gazing at me for a few seconds. "I know.. I'm sorry" she whispers and I nod a bit.
"We need to talk.. but we can do it later when the kids are asleep." She says, looking down to her hands before taking a sip of her water. I nod again "I'm not sure what I was going to do for dinner.." I start but she stops me, taking my hands.
"We can get a take out.. I just want to relax with my family.. I missed you all" she says softly. "Then why haven't you kissed me properly" I whisper and she's taken aback by my question. "I... I don't know" she frowns, standing up in front of me.
"Things have been so on and off between us recently..." she starts but stops, gazing at me for a few seconds before leaning up and cupping my face; kissing me hard on the lips. She tastes so good. I've missed her so much. She pulls away before kissing me again and again; her eyes closed.
She kisses my lips one last time before pulling away and opening her eyes, just as I'm wiping a tear from my cheek. She frowns deeply. "Are you crying?? What wrong?" She whispers and I shake my head "I.. I just.." I shake my head again and wipe my eyes with my hands. "We can talk later."
"How was work?" I ask to change the subject for a while. "It was a bit hectic, but we've all done now; just a few red carpets and promo soon.." she smiles softly and I smile nodding. "Good.. I'm glad.. the kids missed you" I say; and she frowns a bit. "We all missed you" I whisper she last part and she looks away. "I missed you all" she nods.
Comments appreciated as always!!❤️