Taehyung had to go pick up Yoongi from Hoseok's party and ended up staying the night in Yoongi's place.
The next morning while they were having breakfast in complete silence, Yoongi started, "So you almost had sex with Jungkook?"
"How do you even remember last night's conversation. You were so drunk."
"I'm not an amateur." Yoongi took a sip of his coffee, "so?"
"yeah" Taehyung sighed. "well I don't know..but something would have happened if you didn't call me."
"You almost had sex with Jungkook. Your best friend." Yoongi repeated it again. Letting it sink in.
"And you slept with Jimin. Your Ex." Taehyung pointed out. "Might I add, who is still your ex. How is that possible?"
"I freaking don't know. He danced with Hoseok just to piss me off. I took him upstairs to just fight, you know....but we ended up making out" he took another sip of his coffee, "we fought." he took another sip, "we had sex." he took another sip, "we fought and he left. I drank and I called you. Thanks for coming man"
"No. Thank you for calling me." Taehyung shook his head.
"So? what are you going to say when you go back to your house?" Yoongi asked.
"I don't know. I may even confess. who knows."
"well good luck"
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Luck. Taehyung needed it. He opened the door to his house preparing himself for the situation he was about to face.
When he walked in, he saw Jungkook sleeping on the couch. Was he too drunk to go to his room? Taehyung felt bad, Jungkook looked so tiny curled up in the couch and the blanket discarded on the floor.
Taehyung picked up the blanket and put it on top of Jungkook, which was a mistake because the younger woke up as soon as he did that.
"You were out all night? I was waiting for you" Jungkook said.
"um--"
"My head hurts. How can you not come back with me from the party!? how did you stay there?"
"what?" Taehyung asked.
"You were still in the party when I left right? geez I can't remember anything" Jungkook held his head in his arms.
"Y-You don't remember anything."
"I came back from the party...drank some water and I don't remember? fell asleep waiting for you?"
Thank God he doesn't remember anything but Taehyung was a little bummed out too but he let it go. "Don't strain too much. Nothing to remember. I'll get you a tablet but for the love of God no more drinking. At least not for a month."
"Trust me. I'm never drinking again." Jungkook groaned holding his head. "I don't want to go to uni today. I'm gonna stay home."
Taehyung nodded handing him the tablet. He leaned in and pressed His hand on Jungkook's head to feel the temperature and Jungkook stilled, "w-what's that?"
"what?" Taehyung asked.
"Your neck. Is that a hickey? who did you spend the night with?" Jungkook got mad. He himself didn't know why it bothered him to see his friend with a hickey, to imagine that he spent the night with someone doing unspeakable things.
"What I--"
"Is that a hickey or not?" Jungkook asked annoyed.
"Yes."
"did you spend the night out or not?"
"yes."
"Who gave it to you?"
"I can't say that."
"Is it Hoseok?"
"God no!"
"was it someone at the party?"
"yes...it doesn't matter Jungkook." Taehyung tried to grab his hand to take him to bed, "why don't you go sleep more in your room?"
Jungkook pulled away his hand, "do you even like that person?" For some reason Jungkook found himself hating whoever gave Taehyung that hickey.
"I do."
"What?" Jungkook's face softened and he felt his stomach drop. "you like someone?"
"Just go sleep more and we'll talk."
"Whatever I don't want to know anyway. Don't disturb my sleep." Jungkook rolled his eyes and walked away.
Taehyung sighed.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
3 hours passed.
Jungkook walked out of his room and he heard Taehyung talk on the phone with someone.
"yes..he doesn't know...no...no..I'm not going to tell him. There's no reason for Jungkook to know that. I'm not going to tell him and that's the final."
Jungkook chewed on his inner cheeks, he was getting annoyed again, why does Taehyung doesn't want him to know who that mystery person is.
He walked towards the door and Taehyung put down his phone. "Apparently I have to go to university to attend a lecture. I'll be back later. You can invite anyone you want."
"Eat something--" before Taehyung could finish the sentence Jungkook slammed the door on his way out.
"I honestly don't understand his behaviour Yoongi. Why is he acting out today?" he continued speaking on the phone.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
A few hours later Jungkook's class ended and he walked out when Namjoon stopped him, "hey kook" he said with a bright dimpled smile. "wanna hang out? I want to lend some books from the library and we could get some food? it's been a while since we hung out, just you and me?"
"What about Jin?"
"what about him?"
"He doesn't mind?"
"Why would he say anything about me hanging out with my friend?" Namjoon chuckled. "He was the one who suggested it too. So what do you say?"
On any normal day Jungkook would have immediately agreed even though he would have felt like shit after but today he was annoyed beyond control and a small part of him kept wondering if Taehyung really did invite someone to their house.
"No actually I have plans. Someother day?"
"yeah okay no problem" Namjoon gave him the ever-loving smile and walked away.
Jungkook went back home and on the way he saw his neighbours kissing and hugging and he rolled his eyes.
He slammed the door shut and threw his bag on the floor.
Taehyung stopped sipping his tea and removed his leg from the couch so that Jungkook could sit beside him. He swallowed thickly as he watched his friend running a hand through his hair and almost ripping it out in frustration.
"What is it Jungkook?" He asked ever so softly.
"I saw our neighbour propose to his girlfriend down the street? You remember that guy?" Jungkook scoffed. "He was so hopeless when we moved in here. Now not only does he have a girlfriend, he proposed to her as well. How lovely! "
His words didn't match his tone and Taehyung was unsure how to respond and he chose to reframe his question.
"What is the matter?"
"It's–uh–" Jungkook hesitated as he gripped his hair hard. Taehyung had always loved Jungkook's hair and it would be such a waste if he plucked it off.
"Hey...it's just me. No judgement, remember?"
" I'm just so tired of being a spectator, I'm always witnessing all these amazing things that happen to everyone else and although I'm genuinely happy for them I can't help but wonder why those things never happen to me, when is it my turn? I'm tired.Do I not deserve to be loved?" Jungkook finally looked at Taehyung and his eyes were filled with tears.
"Aw..kook...How can you say that? The Universe must have loved you cause it put all its stars in your eyes" Taehyung said softly wiping the tears falling from Jungkook's starry eyes.
Jungkook's breath hitched as he looked at Taehyung, his eyes flicked to Taehyung's lips for a fraction of second and his eyes caught sight of the hickies again.
"You deserve love the most okay?" Tae said.
"I deserve it?" Jungkook scoffed. "You say that cause you are my friend. I'm a horrible person Tae"
"No...why do you say that?"
"I feel horrible to even think this...but I...but I constantly hope that Namjoon and Jin break up somehow." Jungkook lowers his head in shame. "I find myself hoping that Jin would turn out to be some bad person and Namjoon would leave him. I hate seeing him happy with Jin! I just can't take it!"
Taehyung sighed and tucked Jungkook's hair behind his ears, "You're human. It is a completely normal reaction and you even feel horrible about thinking that."
"Why can't he just give me one chance! One chance is all I need ! I could show him how much I care for him! It's all I need! This is killing me!" Jungkook cried.
It killed Taehyung to see Jungkook like this, "I don't think it works like that koo...I'm sorry."
"No! Why! Why am I not an option to anyone!? I constantly hear people say 'you're so pretty' 'anyone would be lucky to have you' 'you are a lovable person' but–"
"What they say is true though"
"Bullshit. That's what it is !" Jungkook yelled. "It's bullshit and I feel sick to my stomach when I see people that I love, love someone else." He looked directly into Taehyung's eyes. He scoffed, "Well it's not like you would know Mr. Lover boy"
"Excuse me? What?" Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows, he was a little taken aback by this sudden accusation.
"Well aren't you sneaking up with someone behind my back. I just don't understand why you won't tell me...but whatever. Atleast you're feelings are being reciprocated by that someone."
Was it about that hickey? The one that Jungkook gave him? The one who doesn't love him back. Taehyung wants to scream out and tell him everything. But he can't. He shouldn't.
"I'm sorry" Jungkook hid his face in his palms. "I feel horrible and I'm making you feel horrible. It's time to accept the fact that no one is ever going to love me."
"I–"
"If Namjoon gave me a chance..."
It's always Namjoon. It's always going to be Namjoon and Taehyung will never have a chance.
"He won't even have to love me back, you know. I think my love would be enough for the both of us."
Namjoon...Love...Namjoon...Love...Namjoon....Love...Namjoon...Love...Namjoon...Love...Namjoon....Love.Namjoon...Love...Namjoon...Love...Namjoon....Love. Taehyung couldn't hear it anymore, his pulse was raising and his heart was breaking. Should he get angry or should he cry out in pain. Jungkook was right about one thing, seeing the person you love, love someone else will make you sick to your stomach.
He decided not to lash out nor to cry.
"You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart." Taehyung swallowed his voice crack before it could get noticed. He knew that if he spoke more, he would end up crying. "That's all I can say Jungkook. Whatever you feel right now is valid but don't lower your hope or dignity."
"I–"
"I don't want to hear another word. Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."
"Tae–"
Taehyung stood up and left to his room.
"Taehyung–"
He didn't turn around.
"Hyung..."
Tae stopped on his path.
"What is Love?"
""It's hopeless." Taehyung replied. Jungkook nodded.