The lift beeped as we reached the hanger. I was told that I was 'being allowed' to go back to twelve. Arriving I saw a familiar face that I hadn't seen in a while.
"Gale." I breathed running up to him. Jumping to hug him, he caught me. My big brother.
"I can't believe you're going through with this. You can say 'no'" I put my hand on his cheek.
"I need to see it. Gale." He nodded and led me onto the jet. I sat in silence till my brother spoke.
"Katniss, told me you cut your hair. Why?" He took some in his fingers and played with it.
"I told Rosie that it needed to be done. The truth is, I don't know. I just did." I looked down
"When we first arrived I saw you all wired up after your body shut down. I had never been so scared. I thought you volunteering was the worst it could get." He shook his head slightly "You were broken and there was nothing I could do. I'm the one who's supposed to protect you Lils. I'm the oldest yet even now I'm helpless."
"Is that why you became a solider? To not feel helpless?" I wondered looking at him properly.
"Part of it. I needed to do something. I needed to be apart of something that is helping people.
Maybe if I can fight I can protect those who are counting on me." I looked away.
"I can protect myself."
"Can you? Then tell me why you look like someone has just stolen your food supply." I rolled my eyes. We arrived at District 12 I stood up as Gale told me what was going on.
"13 has scanned up and down so that you'd be safe. Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Gale asked
"Yeah. Sure as can be." I walked down the ramp and all that I saw was destruction . Utter destruction there was barely anything left of the district I grew up in. Tears sprang as memories from my childhood floated across my eyes. The Justice building was nothing but rubble as I turned round and soaked everything that the Capitol had done to my home. I needed to continue surely there must have been something to survive? I walked thorough the mountains of ash and down a valley of broken buildings.
I heard something crunch beneath my feet. I lifted my foot up and gasped a skull. Someone's skull. I threw up to the left of me. Scrambling up I saw it wasn't just one there were hundreds. I dropped to the ground and sobbed. It's my fault it's all my fault. I crawled away before pulling myself to my feet and to the only upstanding place. The victors village. Figures that they would only leave this intact.
I walked into the home that I had 'won' and looked around it was so silent, I could remember the little screams and giggles of my siblings. Who I had yet to see. I saw my jacket hung up so I slipped it on and grabbed a satchel as well. I took some of my Mom's herbs and mixtures when I heard a crash. Jumping out of my skin I saw Buttercup. Rosie's cat.
"Bloody Cat." I picket it up and put it in. I walked around taking my wedding photo and Dad with me. Walking into the study I trailed my fingers on the desk. When something caught my eye. I was a flower, a flower that still stood tall and white white the other dies around it. Picking it up I saw the shape of it and it was the same one snow wore on his jacket all of the time. I dropped it and took off out of there. Before getting back on the jet I searched through the rubble of Katniss house and found the broken picture frame of her father. Buttercup hissed
"Oh shut up." I muttered shoving it into my back. Getting back on the jet she mowed again.
"You better keep her hidden, I don't think 13 takes too kindly to having pets." I gave him a small timid smile before we left. Pictures of what I had just seen had haunted me even as I walked through the compound of 13 I first stopped at Katniss and Rosie's.
"Hey." I hugged them all and then pulled out Buttercup.
"Buttercup." Rosie chimed taking the feline off me
"Scared the crap out of me. Little bugger."
"I don't know what they'll say if they find him."
"I'll deal with it." I told Mrs Everdeen I rifled through my bag and handed her the picture
"The glass is cracked but it's a survivor." I told her She hugged me again.
"Thank you Lily." I also gave her some of the herbs as well. Saying goodbye I left. I reached my new 'home' it was basically a large pod with all in one. Posy, Rory, Vik and Mom all rushed to hug me.
"Mom" I muttered she stroked my hair and shushed me
"It's okay, we're okay." I pulled away and hugged my siblings.
"I went home...." I told Mom and she looked down sadly "It's really gone. Everything, all the people" I whisper.
"I know, I know sweetie." I cleared my throat and opened the bag
"I brought some herbs from the kitchen. I got Dad too" She stroked the picture as I pulled out me and Peeta.
"Is Peeta Okay?" Posy asked
"I don't know, P, I don't know."
-------
I sat in the mess hall with my siblings and Kat. While the others ate and talked with one another I poked around with my food thinking about everything that had happened since I volunteered in place of Primrose.
"You should eat something sissy." Rory told me. I looked at him then away before replying
"Not hungry." I replied. Fanfare of the Capitol tv rang across the hall. I turned myself to watch the screen as Ceaser Flickermen popped up.
"Hello, Good Evening. And a big welcome to all in Panem. I'm Ceaser Flickermen. And whoever you are, whatever you are doing, if you're working, put down your work, if your having dinner stop having dinner. Because you are going to want to witness this tonight. Because there has been rampant speculation about what really happened in the quarter quell. And here to shed a little light on the subject is a very special guest. Please welcome. Mr Peeta Mellark." I jumped up from my seat as my husband came on the screen. I ran over closer to get a look at him
"Peeta, a lot of people feel as though they are in the dark." Ceaser talked
"Yeah I know how they feel." He replied. His voice, I missed that voice.
"Now, so set the stage for us. Talk us through what really happened on that final and controversial night."
"Well first of all you have to understand that when you are in the games you only get one wish. It's very costly."
"You're Alive" I breathed feeling a weight lift off of me. I younger siblings hold onto me as my eyes were glued to the screen.
"What do you mean what's more than your life?" Ceaser questioned
"I mean to murder innocent people, that costs everything that you are." Peeta explained
"Yes"
"So you hold onto that one wish. And that night my wish was to save Lily. i should have just run off with her earlier in the day like she'd wanted."
"But you didn't. Why? Where you caught up in Beetee's plan?"
"No I was caught up trying to play allies, and they separated us. That when I lost her."
"I'm right here" I told him
"And then then lightning hit and the whole force field around the area just blew out."
"Yes, but Peeta. Lily is the one who blew it out. You saw the footage." Peeta shook his head in denial
"No, she didn't know what she was doing. Neither of us knew there was a bigger plan going on. We had no idea.." he admiralty denied the breathe and scope of everything going on and well it was the truth. Only now was a really seeing the bigger picture and everything that was coming to light, I had no idea about in that arena. All of it was pure impulse.
"You had no idea?"
"No."
"Well, Peeta, there are a few who seem to find this suspicious at least it seems as though she was apart of a rebel plan."
"Do you think it was part of her plan to be almost killed by Johanna? Or to be paralysed by lightning. We were not apart of any rebel plan. We had no idea what was going on."
"Alright, I believe you Peeta, Mellark. Thank you"
"Yeah."
"And I was going to ask you to speak about the unrest but I think you might be too upset." I held on to my brothers and sister. Gale had rested his hands on my shoulders
"No, I can." he took a deep breath going to continue.
"Are you sure?"
"I can absolutely."
"Okay" Peeta's eyes turned to the camera as if he was looking directly at me.
"I want everyone who's watching to stop and to think about what a civil war would mean. We almost went extinct once before..." I heard mutters of confusion. "And now our numbers are even fewer. Is this really what we want to do?" I heard people calling him a traitor and one of them.
"Kill ourselves off? Killing is not the answer. Everyone needs to lay down their weapons immediately." People now began to shout at the screen as I took my eyes away. Angry shouts aimed at the man I had married
"Are you calling for a ceasefire?" Ceaser wondered
"Yeah, I am." I couldn't take it anymore when someone shouted that he should be hanged. I softly moved my siblings and ran out of there. I bumped into someone.