Alexandra pulled the bandage off her fresh wound, groaning when no one was listening in pain and discomfort. She placed a clean one over her skin and threw the different one on the dumpster, sighing in relief. Then she pulled down her shirt, covering her night life with a simple movement and walked out of her bedroom, snatching her bag from the chair.
When she walked in her living room, she jumped in fear when she unexpectedly saw her friend, sitting on the couch, with his cane in between his legs and his glasses on to hide he, probably bruised, eyes. She held on to her chest breathing loudly and stared at him, a bit annoyed.
“I think half of the problems would be sorted if the men in my life learned to knock on the door for a change!”
“Where were you last night?”
She rolled her eyes and threw her bag on the floor- where her table was supposed to be- and walked over to the counter to put some coffee for herself “Couldn’t your antenna reach me then?”
“You know it couldn’t.”
She shrugged “didn’t really think about it, considering I don’t belong to you anymore”
Matt stood up, turning to her direction. “You never belonged to me.”
“I know that. Do you know that?” she asked, taking a bite from an apple she had left on the basket on the counter. Matt lowered his head, biting on his lip.
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“Second thing that would make my problems go away. Men trying to protect me. Why don’t you all take your protection and shove it up your ass instead-“ she threw the apple on the sink and walked quickly back to where she had left her bag, picked it up and went straight for the door. “By the way I’m changing the locks” she said and shut the door, leaving matt alone in her living room.
Matt sat back on the couch, holding tight on his cane and keeping his head low. His facial expression was stiff and his posture gave away how worried he was. His slipped his hand on his pocket and called an unknown number who had called him just a few hours before.
“I need more time.”
•••
Alexandra was listening to music. Shutting out the world since in the last couple of months she would get triggered by tiny things. Feeling her skin shiver, her hair standing up and her thoughts going red.
She walked down the subway, stood in between the normal people like she was normal as well and walked out when she reached her stop.
After cutting all ties, or at least the ones she could, with Matt Murdock she was forced to search for a new career, something she could be good at. Much like Karen had done a while back. Journalism didn’t really fit with her, writing articles wasn’t one of her talents and it required a lot of patience that she didn’t have. She thought about being a nurse, putting her knowledge to use but she didn’t trust herself to stay calm around blood. The sight of dark red still triggered some of her must troubled emotions. After searching a while, she found herself the perfect fit.
“Oh Lexie! Thank goodness! I have to run, my grandson had a fall in school. His parents can’t go, so I must go, you understand.”
Alexandra left her bag on the chair by the counter, which was filled with flowers and half finished bouquets.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Thank you darling.”
Alex would spend her morning hours with greens instead of reds. Planting seeds instead of bullets. The irony of it hadn’t slipped her attention and sometimes she found herself laughing about but she was proud of her profession, proud of what she was doing and the way she had found to sooth herself even at the worst times.
She took one of the pots and started clearing the plants, cutting and sharpening wherever it was needed, her mind taken off the usual troubles. Focused on her craft she completely missed the entrance of a woman in the shop and only when she heard her chuckling, she stopped. She kept her head low even then, annoyed and even a little angry.
“cute.”
Alex left down her scissors and looked up, biting on her tongue. The woman across from her didn’t look much different from what she remembered. Her short curly hair hid her wound very well and eyes remained as cold as she remembered, always searching for justice.
“what do you want here?”
“I know he’s back.”
Alex laughed, moved away from the counter with the pot and left it on the ground. “I’m not his secretary you know.”
“I need to talk to him Alex.”
“get in line.” She whispered picking up another pot and digging in the mud.
Madani walked around the flower shop, crossing her arms and looking at the plants. “one way or another you always get your hands dirty Walker. Whether its blood or mud, some things never change.” Madani sat down, in the chair that was meant for the costumers while Alex kept working on her plants. “do you know where he is?”
“No.”
“Did he join you last night?”
Alex stood still. Glimpses coming back to her from yesterday’s night, her wound stinking under her clean clothes. “Last night I was in my bedroom watching the Notebook. Frank would rather torture over it.”
Madani laughed, leaning closer to the counter “how long you think you can keep this silly play up before you end up like Castle? Running from the law, owing favors left and right. You’re turning into him-“
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dinah and frankly, I don’t care. I don’t know where Frank is, I don’t know what he’s up to and I got scars to prove that he doesn’t care all that much about me either.”
“Listen to me. I’m not the enemy, I’m not here to hurt him-“ Alex turned away from her and walked at the back of the store where she was met with an unexpected visitor, she held in her gasp as he grabbed her to his chest, putting his hand over her mouth to keep her silent “I need him to meet with Russo.” Continued Dinah. Frank let go Alex slowly, allowing her to face him. She made a fist her hands, forcing herself to remain still so she wouldn’t punch him. In that moment they were so close to each other, looking at each other, with all kinds of excuses. “He’s lying to us, pretending he doesn’t remember so we will pity him.” Frank reached for her arm but Alex shook him off immediately and grabbed one of the empty pots on the floor, walking out without saying anything. “he has a plan” said Dinah when she joined her again.
Alex placed the larger plot on the counter, paying little attention to what the woman was saying. Dinah stood up, she pulled her hair behind her ear, her scar was almost evident when Alex looked at her. A sudden glimpse of that night came back to her and she felt a pain in her chest, she placed her hand there out of instinct. Madani must have noticed considering her next question “You still get nightmares too, don’t you?”
“Nothing like yours.”
“I have a bad feeling Alex. A storm is coming and we are in the center of it. Billy is playing us, how can a person forget all the evil he’s done that easy? Frank needs to see him. Just gave him that message when he comes to you again.” Madani turned to leave, Alex made a step forward.
“He never told you did he? What happened to me.”
Madani looked at her, narrowing her eyes.
“I was in an accident, a long time ago. I got hit in the head, I lost everything. My name, my family, my life. You have no idea what that does to a person. If you’re afraid that he’s lying then you’re a fool. You should be more scared of him telling the truth.” Alex walked closer “because if he is then you’re no longer against a person, you’re against a monster far worse than he ever was before.”
Madani stared at her, crossing her arms to her chest “just tell frank to come and see me.” With that she left and a few minutes after her exit Alex heard frank coming out of the shadows. She didn’t turn to face him or say anything until he did.
“I know you do not want to speak to me so I’ll do the talking and then I’ll go.”
Alex picked up a bunch of roses and white flowers and left them on he counter. She started placing them next to each other carefully, to make it into a bouquet.
“I’m on the trail of a big job. Woman trafficking.” Her hands froze. She held on her breath. He walked around the counter so he would be facing her “They take little girls and train them.” Her eyes shot up, she gripped on the roses, the thorns piercing her skin. “I need your help Alex-“
“I can’t” she said quickly, it came out as a whisper, a complain. He walked back next to her and held her hands, pulling them away from the roses. She avoided his eyes, staring at the ground.
“It could be the same people that held you-“
“Shut up!” she snapped, pulling her hands away “just shut up! I can’t do this; I can’t be around you.” Her pulse started beating faster, her breathing louder “we can never be a team again Frank. I don’t trust myself around you anymore.” He tried reaching for her, she slapped his hand away “you don’t understand, do you? What happened to me after you left! I can’t control myself anymore- you let the beast out, you were the only one that could tame and then you left!”
“And now I’m back and I have evidence that you can use-“
“I don’t care about your fucking evidence! I don’t want it-“ her voice cracked, her eyes started to hurt, tears pushing to be let out in sobs “I don’t want any of it anymore! Because I can’t take it, I thought I could, I wanted to be able to but I can’t” her voice trembled “so please, just leave.”
Frank stood still for a moment, staring at her and then he turned and left. Alex looked at her palms, which were full of thorns and cursed under her sobs.
Frank sat in his car, laying his head back on the seat. He took in a loud breath and watched over the window at the flower shop. He couldn’t understand what happened to her, what had changed but there was definitely something different. There was always madness in her, he always knew that. First time he had seen it was in her bathroom but he could control it too because she let him. They completed each other in that way, her madness made him feel sane and she was always there to help him, eager too.
The night that everybody thought that he had murdered Reyes and Tepper, he stopped her on the street while she was on her way to Karen Page. It was the first time she looked like she had little faith in him, almost like a part of her believed that he was the one that did it.
“You friend is the next target.”
“Stay away from Karen.”
“I’m trying to protect her. They will come for her and they will come for you and anyone who is digging into the story.”
“That’s what happens when you raddle trees with fucking snakes on them Frank. People get attacked.”
“Listen to me- It wasn’t me! You’ve trusted me before, I need you to do it, one last time.”
And she did she led him to Karen’s safe house and he was right. There was an attack on her life a few moments after. While they all stood in her room each trying to convince each other of something, bullets started falling through the windows. Alex jumped on frank to pull him down, who fell on Karen, pushing her on the floor. Alex cuddled herself as the bullets hit the glass, waiting for the storm to pass. Frank watched her as he shielded Karen, terrified that she would go through the same panic attack she did when they first met but she didn’t. when the gun fire was over, she reached for Karen.
“Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.”
Frank moved away from them, sitting down, breathing loudly. Alex gave him a look and he nodded, letting her know he was fine as well.
“We need to move.”
“Go where? Everyone is looking for you Castle!” Karen held her head. “And me apparently”
“maybe that’s a good thing.” Whispered Alex and looked at frank with an intense gaze. Frank didn’t need long to realize what she was saying and neither did Karen who was completely against the idea.
“Are you both insane?”
“don’t tell matt about this.” She got on her knees and got Karen’s gun from the floor. “I’ll see you tomorrow”
“Alex… this is too dangerous.”
“That’s why you’re gonna stay here. Let me and frank take over.”
“its not a good idea.”
“It’s the only one we have.”
Somehow, he and she always found themselves caught up in situations with very few and very bad ideas it didn’t stop them. They drove to a dinner close by and frank could still remember the silence. Similar to the one right now, in his empty car and he had reached his destination before he had even realized where he was driving to.
He got out of the car shutting the door and pulled up his hoodie to hide his face. He stood in front of the familiar building, reading the golden sign “Nelson and Murdock, Attorneys at law”. He put aside his doubts about what he was doing and entered the building.
•••
Matt was sitting on his desk, reading some legal documents, striking his fingers across the dots on the white pages when suddenly he heard steps out of the office, going back and forth and a beating heart, an anxious heart. Then there was a knock, foggy opened the door, his breathing got faster, he started sweating.
“Is he here?” he recognized the voice immediately. Frank Castle. He closed the folders in front of him, listened to the exchange of the two men on the inside room, preparing himself to meet frank. He thought about the last time he had met him, in Alex’s house. They fought that night, broke her table, 9 months ago and from what he knew she still hadn’t gotten a new one.
Frank came in his office, very confident in his movements. He closed the door without saying anything and sat across from him. At some point he reached for the cookies matt had on his desk and got one for himself. Meanwhile matt could feel his eyes on him, staring at him.
“So are you blind or not, because I am confused.” He asked while chewing on the cookie. Matt took in his scent, similar to the one he’d caught in Alex’s house this morning. “How does it work?” frank stretched his hand to get another cookie but matt reached the dish faster and pulled it away from frank and closer to himself. He heard him scoff and lay back on his chair.
“Something in between” he answered coldly “what are you doing here?”
Frank licked the chocolate of his fingers “we only have one thing in common. So, what do you think?”
“Since when do you come to me when you need her?” he tilted “is it ever since you abandoned her-“
Frank leaned forward, hitting his hand on the desk and pointed at matt “you told me not to come up with you!”
“its been 9 months and you couldn’t even send a text”
“Now you wanted me to text her? You must be the most confusing man I’ve ever met in my life!” frank got up and paced around the room “you know I did what I had to do. Don’t blame me if it backfired at you.”
“And what do you want now?”
“I’m close to an organization. Human trafficking. Little girls.” Matt raised his head. Suddenly very interested about what he was saying “I met a girl about a month ago. She sent to kill me.”
“Why?”
“Because I was digging on the wrong people’s garbage. You know how it is, don’t you?”
Matt reached for a pen he had on his desk, holding tight on to it “and did you kill her?”
Frank turned and looked at matt “I almost did. Then I looked in her eyes and all I could see was emptiness, zero purpose. It reminded me of Lexie.” He started moving back to his chair “so I kept her around to ask some questions. She didn’t make a lot of sense…” he sat down “but she said something about an organization.” Matt held tighter on the pen “and then, right in front of my eyes, she died.” He got another cookie throwing it in his mouth and chewing slowly.
Matt threw the pen he was holding on the desk and stood up. He drew a hand over his mouth and chin and then put his hands on his hips.
“You look a little freaked out Red.” He licked his thumb to get rid of the chocolate “it wouldn’t be because you already knew about this, would it?”
Matt bit on his tongue, holding back the things he wanted to say to him. “Did you go to Alex with this?”
“I tried. But she says, she wants no part in this.”
Matt stretched out his hand “and that’s for the best.” Frank laughed “you don’t understand the size of what you are messing with Frank! Listen to me- you don’t want to be part of this! There’s reason I kept Alex away from this and-“
“Have been lying to her ever since you met her when you knew exactly where she was coming from!”
“Believe it or not it was for her safety.”
“I don’t care about you reasons Red” he leaned forward “and I don’t care about your objections!”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because she deserves to know the truth and she deserves to be there when I bring that shit to the ground!” Matt laughed, shaking his head. “You think I am joking around Murdock?”
“I think you are a damn fool if you think its gonna be that easy.” He balanced his hands on the desk “and if you think I’ll have any part in convincing Alex to go with you.” He pointed a him “twice you’ve left her for dead. One time in the docks and the other on the carrousel- maybe she is tired of dying for you, have you thought of that?”
“that’s what you think I am here for? I don’t need you to convince her, I need to understand what the hell happened while I was away because the girl I met today, is nothing like the one I knew.”
“she’s going through a hard time-“
“A hard time?” he scoffed and stood up, waving his hand “did you know she goes out alone fighting gangs by herself- she killed two people in front of me the other night. So don’t fuck with me-“
“I’m trying to fix it!”
“she’s not a broken toy Murdock! What the fuck are you fixing? What the fuck is going on-“
Foggy opened the door, interrupting them. Frank gave him a quick glance and then turned his back on him “we have to go to court. We are late.”
Matt picked his suit from his chair and put it on, he picked up his bag with all the documents and he left without answering any of his questions. He walked down the stairs quickly with foggy on his side and when he reached the outside world, he let out a heavy breath, relaxing his tie and leaning forward, holding on to the nearest wall.
“What’s wrong?” asked foggy, the worry on his voice was evident.
“Nothing-“ her heartbeat, slow and weak, echoed in his ears. Along side, the sound of blood gushing out her open wound. The feeling of uselessness he felt. Foggy put a hand on his shoulder.
“You want water?”
“No, I’m fine. Everything’s fine!” he stood straight again and sneak his arms around foggy’s, letting him lead him to his car.
•••
The one place she hated most in the world were hospitals. There was no other place that killed hope quicker than this. Alex kept her eyes on the floor while walking, she didn’t want to see anybody’s face. She snuck herself in one of closets the nurses kept their robes and grabbed one of them, putting it on and pulling her hair up on a pun. When she came out, she looked to her right and a doctor who had his glasses hanging from the pocket on his chest was coming towards her. She walked quickly in his direction, making sure to note the name he had written on his ID card and then bumping on to him and snatching his glasses while apologizing for the accident. The doctor waved her off and she moved along. She put on the glasses and made a turn, when she saw a nurse going in the room she wanted to go.
She caught up to her, pulling her arm. The woman turned around and Alex read her name on her ID card “Lily, Dr. Ford asked for you?” she said confidently.
“What the hell does he want? I’m doing a routine check up!”
“Something about a patient. Yesterday’s incident.”
Lily sighs and hands her the folder with the patience’s information. “Finish this for me. Hey, boys-“ lily looked at the security guards standing in front of the door “she’s taking over for today.”
The guards nodded and opened the door, letting her walk in the room. Too easy, she thought to herself while walking inside. The door shut closed behind her, she jumped at the sound, her eyes closing out of instinct. When she opened them again the room was dark, silent. She could see ghost