I took a sigh as I sat on my car. It has been another tiring day at work. I took a deep breath as I roam my eyes in my surroundings. Tall buildings, blinding lights from the street, deafening noise from vehicles, and of course, the polluted air. Gosh, how I hate this scenery.
Bahagya kong hinilot ang sintido ko at muling nag buntong hininga bago binuksan ang makina ng sasakyan.
"Oh, how I hate cities." I mumbled before driving away from the hospital.
My responsibilities as an adult makes me do things I don't like. Earlier, I received a message from the city branch manager. Unfortunately, one of our machines malfunctioned and injured one of our employee. Mabuti na lamang at hindi malubha ang nangyari sa trabahador namin. Kinausap ko na rin ang pamilya niya at sinabing ang kompanya na ang bahala sa mga gastusin sa ospital at mga gamot.
If there's one thing that stayed the same about me, that is my hatred for cities. I grew up in a small town. I grew up surrounded by trees, plants, and farmers. Even as a kid, I never liked how chaotic and busy the city is.
I never liked things out of my comfort zone. It's safe to say that I'm too afraid of trying new things.
Lumuluwas lang ako sa siyudad kapag kailangan ako sa kompanya, pero kung hindi naman at regular na araw lang ay paniguradong na sa maliit na bayan lang ako ng Miraya.
Kanina pa nag takip silim. Malalim na rin ang gabi ngunit nandito ako at nilalakbay ang daan pauuwi sa aming bayan.
Gustuhin ko mang mag-pahinga muna ay hindi ko naman magagawa dahil bukod sa ayoko nang matagal pa rito, ay kailangan ko ring makabalik agad sa Miraya dahil ikakasal ang kaibigan kong si Hana.
Masaya ako para sa dalawang kaibigan. Pagkatapos ng mga pinagdaanan nila Hana at Damgo, masaya ako na sila pa rin hanggang dulo.
I smiled bitterly when I remember someone. I used to think that we'll end up in the altar, saying our vows and oath. But I guess, things don't always work the way we want it to be.
My eyes are on the road, but my mind is somewhere else. Thankfully, gabi na at wala na gaanong mga sasakyan sa ganitong oras.
How would I react if I see him? How would I greet him? What would I say?
I shook my head, "I've already moved on, I don't have anything to worry about."
It's true. I've moved on. It has been 4 years after all.
Mag uumaga na nang makarating ako sa Miraya. Pagod man ay mas pinili ko pa ring dumiretso sa lugar na lagi kong pinupuntahan.
I sat under the tree while waiting for the sunrise. Mataas pa rin ang tayog ng punong ito, walang pagbabago.
I inhaled the fresh air then wander my eyes at the surrounding. Tanaw ang magandang lupain ng bayan ng Miraya sa lugar na ito. Kita rin mula rito ang hacienda ng pamilya ko at ang mga tanim ng mga magsasaka na hindi nalalayo sa hacienda namin. Sa kabilang ibayo ay ang malaking hardin ng pamilya Milagroso. Napaganda nito, at siguradong mas magniningning ang ganda nito sa oras na matamaan ng sikat ng araw.
This. This is something I would never trade for anything. The simple life, comfort and peace that I always want.
I closed my eyes as I let the cold breeze of wind hit my face.
Not long enough, I witnessed the mesmerizing sun rising.
"Damara! I'm glad you're here!" I laughed as I watch her struggle walking towards me because of her long and beautiful wedding gown.
"Silly, why would I miss your wedding day? " She shrugged her shoulder as she display a playing smile. I laughed harder at her face.
"You look beautiful today, Haliyah. Beautiful like a goddess." I said, completely ignoring what her face is trying to imply.
Natawa siya sa tugon ko at halatang nakuha agad ang dahilan kung bakit iniba ko ang topic. Ngumiti ito sa akin at iminuwestrang umupo muna ako sa couch.
" I am a goddess, Damara. And you're stunning, as always." She then kissed me on the cheeks and excused herself. Mag aayos pa raw siya.
I am wearing a simple but elegant peach dress that is hugging my body while my hair is in a messy bun. I looked at my small mirror, I am wearing a simple and natural make up, just enough to highlight my natural face features.
The wedding ended smoothly. Hindi ako iyong ikinasal pero pati ako ay naantig sa mga pangakong binitiwan nila. Idagdag mo pa ang mga karanasan nila noong teenager pa lamang na binalikan nila sa mga wedding vows nila.
We're currently at the reception area now. I prepared myself to greet them. Tumayo ako at handa na sanang lapitan ang bagong kasal nang dumapo ang tingin ko sa entrance.
He's wearing a black tuxedo, complementing his moreno skin. As he enter the venue, I can't help but notice how taller he got. Bukod doon ay ang katawan niya, mas lalo ring naging maskulado.
I also notice how everyone's eyes are on him now! He wasn't even trying to catch their attention, but here he is, once again the center of attention, as always.
My thoughts disappeared when his beautiful hazel eyes landed on mine.
With my nervous beating heart, I immediately looked away.
Mabilis ay inayos ko ang sarili at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad papunta sa newly wed couple na parang walang nagyari.
"Congratulations, Damgo and Hana! I'm so happy for the both of you!"
"Thank you, Damara!" They both smiled at me.
"Balita ko ay na sa siyudad ka kahapon. May nangyari ba, Dam?"
"Yeah. Unfortunately, a machine malfunctioned. May nadamay na trabahador. But no worries, it's all settled now." I answered Damgo while giving a sign to the waiter holding a tray of liquor. Kumuha ako rito ng isang baso.
I was about to take a sip when I heard a familiar baritone voice behind me.
"Congratulations! Sorry I didn't make it to the church wedding. May emergency kanina."
After 4 years, ngayon ko lang ulit narinig ang boses na 'yan. Dahil sa kasalukuyang nararamdaman ay nainom ko nang isang tung-gaan ang baso.
"Welcome back, Ynaro! I thought you're not going anymore! Magtatampo na sana ako, e'!"
Inakbayan ni Damgo si Ynaro. Natawa si Ynaro sa inasal ng kaibigan.
He's gone for 4 years, if I were Damgo, I'd also miss him.
You're not even Damgo, but you're also missing him.
I shoved the thought away. Shut it, Damara.
Umalis ako nang hindi nagpapa alam sa kanila. Sa tingin ko ay hindi rin naman ako napansin.
The program ended longer that I expected, not because the program is literally long but because of Ynaro.
His presence bothers me. I'm trying so hard to fight the urge to talk to him.
After the program, I saw him walking towards his car. And his car happens to be parked beside mine! At bago ko pa mapansin, nandito na ako ngayon sa harap niya.
Napatingin siya sa'kin. He raised his eyebrows, probably wondering what I'm up to.
I cleared my throat. Pilit kong hinahanap ang mga salita pero walang lumalabas sa bibig ko.
He didn't bother to ask me anything, he just stood there, staring at me.
Tumingin ako sa langit. Gabi na kaya't wala akong makita maliban sa dilim. Sa taranta at kahihiyaan ay sinabi ko na lamang ang unang pumasok sa isip ko.
"Goodnight!"
Pumasok ako sa sasakyan ko at agarang umalis without even looking back.
Gusto kong sabunutan ang sarili dahil sa ginawa. Napaka impulsive!
Wala sa mood akong umuwi. Bumungad sa akin ang tahimik na hacienda. Gabi na kung kaya't wala ng tao sa paligid. Tahimik na rin marahil dahil tulog na ang mga trabahador.
Sumandal ako sa sasakyan ko. I stared at the front door of our mansion, thinking whether to enter or go somewhere else.
I found myself sitting under the same tree again. My only safe place.
I sigh as I watch the small town of Miraya. Big city is always awake even at night, at some point, it's even prettier than the city at daylight. Buhay na buhay ang siyudad kahit sa gabi, maganda man ay isa naman ito sa dahilan kung bakit ayoko roon. Indikasyon kasi ito na walang pahinga ang mundo.
Kung gaano kaliwanag ang siyudad, ganon naman ka dilim ang gabi sa Miraya. Iilan lamang ang makikita mong ilaw mula rito sa taas, kadalasan pa ay galing sa mga poste sa kalsada.
"Aren't you cold? You're wearing a shoulder free dress."
I stared at him in horror. Nakatayo siya sa likod ko pero ang mga mata niya ay na sa baba ng maliit na bayan. What is he doing here?
"Why are you here?" I asked him hugging my knee. Muli kong itinuon ang mga mata sa ibaba.
"Am I not allowed here? The last time I checked, hindi lang ikaw ang may ari ng lugar na ito."
That's right. We purchased this small land when we were still in college. Madalas kami rito noon, tambayan kumbaga, kaya napag pasyahan namin noong bilhin ang lugar na ito.
This is now a private property. Sa kaniya nakapangalan ang lupa, pero dahil wala siya noong nakaraang apat na taon, ako lang ang nakakapunta rito.
Hindi naman niya ako mapapa alis dito dahil pareho kaming nagbayad para sa lupang ito.
Hindi ko siya pinansin at hinayaan na lamang liparin ang isip ko. Napansin ko na lang na aangat na naman ang haring araw. Nataranta ako at hindi alam ang gagawin. We used to watch the sunrise together before.
Tumayo ako at handa na sanang umalis nang magsalita ulit siya.
"The sunrise never changed. It still looked the same, isn't it? Still beautiful."
"You didn't change either. You're still as beautiful as the sunrise, Damara. "
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