Shehnaaz!!!!
Dear Diary !
Why do I feel My life is gonna change from this point , Sitting beside me was Mr. Stranger who was busy with his laptop typing something, His fingers worked so skillfully on the machine and I am really wondering how had he that much concentration in him....
I mean just look at him, typing furiously on his laptop, Earphones plugged in his ears and having juice simultaneously, I mean can't he just relax and enjoy everything bit by bit just like a normal person does, one thing at a time.
" Will you just stop staring at me, I will probably take 5 minutes more " he winked at me and I diverted my mind trying to concentrate somewhere else , I was missing my Father maybe My mother too but I won't accept it, I am angry alright, She Was too stubborn this time.
Why can't she understand I needed time , Looking at this ring in my finger made me realise I was not doing it right With the person beside me ....
I mean Would I be leading him on?
Apparently No because I hardly Know Sidharth, but that's a different cause that My heart doesn't believe him to be a stranger.
I was just fidgeting with my ring I knew but then there's no emotion towards it in me.
" Now where are you lost " I could hear him say but I was tired, with all that's happening around me, also I don't want him to know about my engagement, maybe not now, because Aarav and Me we still need to know where does we actually stand In This. I sighed, I don't want this ring mocking my disinterest in the relation.
Will I be termed as a home breaker, Correction My own home breaker ! For Not really liking to Continue my own engagement.
But it was forced !
So what It was an engagement.
" Hey You are scaring me know ! Are you alright? " He asked and this time I nodded.
" So where do you live in Banglore " He asked and I sighed, he won't let me be myself , in my thinking zone right.
" Indiranagar " I replied.
My mind suddenly loosing all interest in the conversation, I mean I just want to savour this moment I am in, without any of ounce of guilt but I was already feeling guilty, why because I know somewhere deep down what I feel for Sidharth was something I could never develop for Aarav and that frustrated me .
I could feel him gazing me intermittently still typing on the laptop.
" Kehdoon tujhe.... Ya chup rahoon ...... Dil main mere aaj.... Kya hai ......"
I could hear him humm this song and I looked at him , couldn't help the smile that formed on my face subconsciously
" You love Retro " I asked subconsciously again .
" I love everything of that era Sweetheart, from songs the movies, the stage drama, nukar natak and everything, I just feel I haven't grown out of them and guess what I never want myself to come out from these things " He stated.
" You know you are quite the opposite of me, I mean I'm a total Bollywood Person, the Party Vibe, Love Story, Happy Ending and stuff, Tony Kakkar Vibes and the Remixes, I am all about that " I stated , Not knowing why but this person has that power to bring me out of the vortex , That deep Hollow space I dwell myself in to just be sure I'm alright.
" Now That's because We are Two individuals, You and Me and Not Us " He stated and I was hurt, From Whom I had no idea but this Hurts , Reality always did ! Isn't it ?
" You look Off Ms. Beautiful" he asked, I could hear it pretty well but I felt I need to ignore this.
I can't get more involved than I already am in this or could I just let it go and enjoy what ever life throws at me.
" Life happens Sidharth and trust me it's not the bollywood stuff ever, it picks you up from the highest you are at, and throws you somewhere you know there's no going back, I mean From the happy you to maybe a sad You " I replied, quite depressing that sounded but then how do I voice the inner turmoil I'm facing here right with in me , that is probably taking me into a vortex I never wanna go.
" Okay " He replied.
" I really wanna ask are you coping up well, I mean..... "
" I'm , My Grandmother had always taught me to find the best in the situation, you know she is a free bird now, away from the pain she was in here, maybe enjoying in someone's womb by now, probably ready to take birth after 9 freaking months , she is happy and I'm sure if her soul is still the same she wants me to be happy as well" He spoke and I'm amazed...
I mean it's hard to believe that this is the same Sidharth I felt is broken a few days ago.
He still is, I mean his eyes tells a whole together different story but his face it's as fresh as I assume it always is.
" You are spiritual"
" I'm well guess everyone is, Aren't you "
" If tagging along your Mother and Father on such auspicious occasions, I mean just for the sake of them being my family then I guess I am " I shrugged.
" Oh Okay "
I could feel My Dear Diary he is loosing his interest in conversing too, I mean who would like to even have a conversation with me when I am drowning myself in depression, A black ending kind of a void that has no option for me to turn back.
" Would you mind if I ask you something " he asked and I looked at him.
" Well Let's get this straight, I think I like you, this is not for rebounding, or just because I am sad and lonely but because I genuinely do like you, I thought I would skip the train part because You would be there but guess what ...here you are with me again and I can't really fight my destiny or can I ? So I'm gathering the courage to let it out, I like you and I just want to know If you have a boyfriend "
I am Really Dreaming !!!! This can't be true, but for the first time in this flight I feel certain emotions in his eyes, He is definitely not lying, but what am I supposed to share, I respect what you have for me but listen I have a fiance at home whom I probably want to ditch to get along with you .
My McDreamy he is !
" I..... Well I don't, I am not made to love I guess "
" No one is you know, No One in this freaking world knows , how does it feel to be loved or to love , I believe it's our journey of life that gives us the answers to what we desire to have "
" You have a practical approach to life Sidharth, We.....
I mean I respect the fact that you feel for me but I...."
" Listen I never told you to reciprocate but I just wanted to be honest with myself for once and so I was , you can just really forget whatever I spoke " He spoke and my diary you know I felt I will drown in something I can never recover from, the typical Bollywood vibe.
" You do realise We are a total opposite to one another " I confirmed, my mind really not reasonable enough to think clearly at this moment.
" I'm , we don't even need do , Life is not about Finding someone same as you, It's kind of Boring To even Spend your life with someone who is your stark similar, but think of the other opportunity you don't know what the other person is about , Fun isn't it? To find something new Daily" he winked and I looked at him.
He is right !
Aarav was exactly similar to me the same tastes , the same nature even the same sense of maturity but this guy right next to me is something I'm sure I wanna try out , I mean he fits in my Bollywood Checklist, the way he is .....
My Mr.Stranger and Mine McDreamy.....
" Fuck it " I whispered and My dear Diary let me tell you he is not a fan of these wonderful words that leave my mouth .
Yours
Imperfect But still functioning
Shehnaaz
(P.S. Going to do something I know I would never Regret )
*
Oh The holy Crap!
That girl is what I ever wanted from my life, I knew it from the very first time I saw her, Not on the train Let me tell you, it was her father, A week before we met on the train He was sitting in the room where her mother was on a video call on her and she well, she was annoyed at something, that day I knew I was gone if I ever met her and that's when my Destiny made me meet her.
Oh and the day she just mentioned, she looked like she was gonna breakdown any moment and she was really not a fan of showing it to the world, I know I might have appeared as a jerk to not comfort her when she needed me and instead expressed what I felt, but then that's What I'm ....
Crazy and Yet Honest !
The next thing I could remember from My Memory that I still take as mine is Her opening her seat belt, even after the announcement that we were about to land any moment, she just got up , and leaned towards me , for a second I thought I was gonna lose my kiss virginity to her like this but then again , Shehnaaz was what we were dealing about , she looked straight in my eyes and that's when I knew I am gone forever....
Forever if it existed even now.
" Move in with me Mr.Stranger ! Please "
This is what she whispered!
Strange isn't it !
But this is the Shehnaaz I knew that moment I was Falling for.
Do touch the star icon at end.
Do tell me how it was
Aaradhya
🤍