-daisys pov.-
I stepped nervously into the hotel, looking behind me before reluctantly entering. I tightly clutched my small bag of money, approaching the front desk.
"Good evening ma'am, how can I help you?" spoke a young man behind the counter.
"G-good evening..."
I can't believe in actually talking to someone after all these years...
"I would...just like a room please.."
My first night on my own.
"Sure thing." said the young man, and in exchange for the money, he handed me a key with a number on its tag.
"Thank you..."
"You're quite welcome, enjoy your stay."
I nodded and made my way to the hotel room. People were laughing and playing cards in a room near the lobby, and men were loitering in the halls smoking over pleasant conversation. People were here. It was such a strange feeling.
I didn't know them but I wanted to hug them. I wanted to hug them and thank them for being here, I wasn't truly alone. One day, I thought, I might be enjoying a hotel stay with friends too. I unlocked the door and came in, flicking the lights on. It was a small, but tidy room. It had a queen-sized bed in the center of it, a radio, a shelf of some books, a bathroom, and some reading chairs. There was a phone on the wall in each hallway for us to use, and my room had a window looking outside. From the window I saw the town in which I had lived my whole life.
It was all new to me. It was hard to wrap my head around the concept of freedom, and that I could just...leave. And thinking of that reminded me, I had been thinking of leaving the town. I didn't know what people knew about me, or thought of me, and I didn't want to be seen as a recluse. Regardless of what they knew, I wanted to start over.
I figured it couldn't hurt to just stay in a hotel in some other place for a while anyway, the thing was, I had nowhere to go. I was no more familiar or better off here than I was anywhere else, so why not just move? I had nothing to leave behind or miss. I sat down on the bed with a sigh, laying back on it.
"What do I do now?" I said to nobody there
Of course, nobody answered my question, and I was left again in silence. I couldn't sleep that night, so I paced the small room for what seemed like an eternity until the sun rose at last. I had a dull feeling in me.
God I couldn't describe it with any words known to man if I tried, but still, I will try. I felt like screaming, ripping out my hair, and crawling out of my very skin, while simultaneously feeling so empty and harrowed that I never wanted to move again. I had never in my life been so hopelessly lost before, so miserably confused. I was helpless, utterly helpless. I had nobody, no recourses, no plans, and only a bit of dwindling money. I was out of any ideas.