Chapter Warnings: This chapter has mentions of death, murder, stabbing, cannibalism, serial killers, kidnapping, a lot of blood, and graphic descriptions of violence and injuries. Also mentions of reader's trauma and PTSD after everything she's been through, and her survivors guilt. And of course, Steve Kemp and Nick Fowler, because those two are warnings all on their own, let alone together.
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Lying on the floor, Y/N listens as the sirens sound and as the blood continues to flow from her side. She presses her hand to the wound, trying to stop the flow, but it only adds to the pain. Biting her lip, Y/N hisses as she tries to hold back her cries of pain. Lying back, she wonders where Steve is now. Hopefully, he's safe. Even though now she wishes she went with him. The sound of the sirens gradually grows louder and louder until she realises they're outside. Sighing, Y/N braces herself. Because once those doors open, everything changes. And this time, she doesn't know how she'll survive it on her own.
The door soon bursts open, and she hears voices shouting. "FBI, hands in the air!" Y/N lifts her hands, even though doing so sends more pain throughout her body. Rapidly, footsteps approach her.
"I'm FBI Agent Y/N Y/L/N. Please don't shoot." She mumbles.
"Y/N! Oh god. What happened to you?" A familiar voice, that of her boss, sounds. "Hey, we need an ambulance over here!" He bends down, studying her bloody and bruised body. "Shit." He murmurs, taking off his jacket and holding it against her side to stop the bleeding. "Y/N, where's Kemp? Is he still here?" He asks. Y/N's eyes fill with tears before she can even stop them.
"I don't know." She sniffles, and her boss sighs.
"It's okay. You're safe now. Don't worry about him. He can't hurt you anymore." If only she could tell them the truth about how truly kind Steve was to her, and how he defended her against Nick. Maybe then, things would be different. But nobody would believe her anyway. Once again, her thoughts drift to Steve and the times they spent together. They were so happy, so free. And now, she doesn't know if she'll ever see him again.
"Sir, there's one body over here. It's Fowler." A voice sounds, cutting through her thoughts. Immediately, Y/N gasps.
"Sir, it was Nick. The killings, everything, it was all-" she exclaims, hoping they believe her and that she's not sent to prison on a murder charge. To her surprise, though, a look of shame crosses her boss' expression, and he nods.
"Don't waste your strength. It's alright. We know." Y/N breathes a sigh of relief. "Well done, kid. You solved the case after all." Even though Y/N can feel herself starting to lose consciousness, a small smile crosses her lips.
"I did, didn't I?" she murmurs.
"We better get you out of here. It looks like you're about to end up the same way as Nick." The sound of sirens fills the air again, and her boss breathes a sigh of relief. But Y/N can feel herself starting to slip away.
"I don't want to die." She whispers.
"And you won't. I won't let you." Her boss promises. He looks over her body once again, swearing as he sees his jacket becoming increasingly more soaked with blood. "Where the fuck is that ambulance?!" He yells. "Come on Y/N, just stay awake for me, okay? Just hold on, please." Her boss looks over her body once again, swearing as he sees his jacket becoming increasingly more soaked with blood. As Y/N's eyes begin to drift shut, strangely, she feels oddly at peace. The nightmare is finally over. And at least she got to say goodbye to Steve.
"You saved us both, and all those women. You did it. My beautiful Y/N." His words echo in her mind as the doors open again, and as paramedics run up to her. And then, Y/N passes out.
Sometime later, Y/N wakes up. As her eyes take time to adjust to the bright lights of her new surroundings, she hears a voice.
"Thank fuck, she's awake." For a fleeting moment, in her daze, she hopes it's Steve, risking his life and freedom to see her and make sure she's safe. But as she realises that she's in a hospital, she also realises that it's not Steve beside her, just her boss. Her heart sinks, and she sighs sadly. She's still alone. "Welcome back. You gave us all quite a scare."
"What happened?" She frowns.
"Well, Fowler got you pretty badly in the side, but the doctors and nurses managed to patch you up. They said you're a trooper. You're on bedrest for the next few weeks."
"No, I mean, how did you find me?"
"Well, you were right. Fowler was behind everything. He tried to hide the evidence, but one of his associates squealed and told us Nick went out to find you. He probably wanted to make sure Kemp killed you, and when he didn't, he wanted to finish the job." Y/N nods, trying to block out all the memories she has of Nick standing over her with a knife, that crazed look on his face. "There's going to be an officer outside your door from now on, just in case Kemp comes back." That means there's no way for her to warn Steve, so if he comes back, he'll be putting herself in danger.
"Hopefully he doesn't then." She says, and her boss laughs.
"Well, you got lucky the first time with him, so hopefully your good luck continues." Y/N suppresses a scoff. Luck? That's not what she'd call it. "By the way, there are some journalists outside who want to speak to you." Y/N frowns.
"Journalists? Plural? I thought there'd just be one reporter, if anything." Her boss chuckles.
"Y/N, you got kidnapped by a serial killer, and stopped another's reign of terror all on your own. You're in pretty high demand, kid." Y/N feels her cheeks heating up.
"Oh, right." How could she be so naive? Of course, after going through what she did, newspapers would be interested in her. She fidgets nervously in her bed, and she bites the skin around her thumb. She's not used to having so much attention on her. She's given a few interviews before, but definitely not on this big a scale, or with her as the subject of the story. And she's definitely not faced it all on her own.
"If you want, I can send them away." Her boss offers, obviously noticing her discomfort. Sighing, she shakes her head.
"No, I'm going to have to deal with them eventually, aren't I? Send them in."
From that moment on, before she even leaves the hospital, Y/N's life completely changes almost overnight. There are constant news and magazine interviews, all talking about how brave she was for going up against two cannibalistic serial killers, and not only that, but killing one of them before he could hurt anyone else. They ask her how she feels, knowing that it's all over, and that she's a hero. Even though she doesn't feel much like a hero.
Her co-workers at the FBI even come to visit her too, gushing over and over about how she did such a great job and how they always trusted and believed in her. Honestly, Y/N's glad she's still on bedrest and attached to a drip when they come, because when they say those words to her after the hell and constant bullying they put her through, she almost punches them all. The higher ups at the FBI and CIA come to see her too, talking about how what she did will reflect on the agencies as a whole, and how much praise they'll get for solving the case, completely ignoring how she did it on her own, with her own hard work, and almost died because of it.
Even her parents come to visit her, tears filling their eyes as they tell her how proud they are, and how much they love her. The same parents who, only a few months ago, barely acknowledged her or her job because it didn't fit into their perfect lifestyle. Of course, deep down she's glad to have some love from her parents again...it's just tainted because it took her almost dying and being interviewed by almost every news and tv network around the world for her to be worthy of their pride and love. Then again, they always loved a headline.
And of course, even though everyone tells her it's over and that they know Nick was responsible, there's still plenty of police, FBI and CIA interviews. Those are her least favourite kinds of interviews. She didn't know how frightening it was to be on the other side of them. They all ask for her side of the story, the warning signs she saw with Nick, and the million dollar question: if she's sure that she doesn't know where Steve went. And in all honesty, she doesn't. Even though she wants to know more than anything.
When she leaves the hospital, things only continue. For a while, she almost becomes America's Sweetheart: the superhero who saved the country and its daughters from the darkness that was Nick Fowler. Yet, despite how glad she is that it's all over, and with receiving so much praise, Y/N just wants it all to stop. She's tired of having cameras shoved in her face wherever she goes, meaning she can't live a normal life ever again. She's not used to this newfound fame, and doesn't think she ever will be. Not to mention how she'll be tied to Nick Fowler and this awful thing that he did to her forever. And everyone just seems so...fake. They pretend to care about her physical and mental turmoil, but she knows they're mostly just there to get clicks and engagement, and they couldn't care less about what happens to her after this. They're just chasing the next big story. And for a while, that's what she's going to be. This whole situation makes her miss Steve even more. He was the only one who was proud of her. Not because of how well she and her actions would reflect on him. He was actually proud of her. He actually loved her.
And now she's all on her own, with no idea where he is or if he's even alive. Her physical scars heal with time, but her emotional scars still stay. And so, the agency also provides her with a therapist to help her readjust to society. Her therapist is nice and all, but she just stares at her most of the time, expecting her to open up about all her trauma right away, when that's the last thing she wants to do. Not that she can tell her therapist that, though. How else could she phrase that after being given the gift of survival and being hailed as a hero, she doesn't want it? It makes her sound so ungrateful.
All Y/N has to keep going is remembering the sweet nothings Steve whispered to her at every waking moment, hoping it's enough to see her through the night without any nightmares of Nick standing over her with a knife. It never works. The nights are always the worst. When she wakes up, feeling or hearing the whisper of Steve's voice, or his touch, and knowing it's not real this time. That she can't go back to see him and talk to him, and to stop this aching feeling in her chest. That's what hurts the most. Having him ripped away so quickly from her.
Of course, she tries to find him herself. At least, she searches for him as much as she can before people get suspicious that either she's not healing as well as she might be, or that her and Steve's relationship goes far deeper than it seems. After convincing herself that Steve has kept a low enough profile for a while, Y/N even starts checking the news, waiting in case there's any new bodies that turn up matching Steve's MO. Because even though the thought still churns her stomach, she knows a cannibal like Steve has to survive somehow. By this point, Y/N's sure that she knows Steve inside and out (including physically), so she'd be able to spot his work right away.
When that doesn't work, Y/N goes back to the cabin a few times, hoping that Steve is hiding out there, waiting for her to find him, or that he's left her a clue. Naturally, her therapist thinks it's a great idea, and sees it as a great way to confront what happened. Of course, Y/N didn't tell her the real reason for her visit. When there's still no sign of him, and the townspeople don't know where he is either, it crushes her even more.
The more time goes on without any word from Steve, not even a discreet note, Y/N starts to wonder if Steve has forgotten her after all. And even after being kidnapped, beaten and almost dying...the possibility that Steve doesn't love her anymore hurts more than anything Y/N has been through.
"Mom, stop fussing over me, please!" Y/N moans, swatting away her mother's hands as they try to fix her outfit and hair.
"I'm sorry, darling. Your father and I just want to make sure you look good for your special night when you accept your award!" She insists. Tonight, Y/N gets an award for stopping Nick and closing the case for good. Y/N sighs. She's still honoured to be appreciated, especially after all the pain and torment she went through. But she knows this ceremony will be full of press again, ready to plaster her face all over the newspapers and television screens once more.
Y/N looks at herself in the mirror, staring at the fancy clothes adorning her body. She looks so...different. And she feels so uncomfortable and out of place. Thank fuck they're not expecting a speech. She's still too overwhelmed with everything going on with her life, and with trying to find Steve to even think straight.
"Y/N, they're ready for you." Her father announces, and she nods. After her parents leave, Y/N takes a deep breath and walks out towards the stage. She peeks out at the crowd of people and journalists, all there to see her. Yet, even with such an enormous crowd of people there just to see her...Y/N's never felt so lonely. If Steve was here, he'd be telling her how gorgeous she looks, and be unable to keep his hands off of her the entire time. If he was here, everything would be so much better. She wouldn't have to go through this all on her own, without the one person who knows what she's going through. The only person who matters to her. Maybe if she tried harder to find Steve, or went with him, then things would be different. Another shiver goes up her body then at the thought of Steve touching her, and Y/N tries desperately to not start crying.
But if he's chosen a life without her, then she has to respect that. Even though that thought tears her up inside. Pushing away her thoughts of Steve, Y/N watches as the director of the FBI approaches the microphone.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen. Members of the press. Thank you all for being here as we honour Agent Y/N Y/L/N, who stopped Nick Fowler, the recent serial killer terrorising Portland, all on her own. And after being kidnapped by Steve Kemp too, another monster." Y/N winces at his words. If only he knew that to her, Steve Kemp is the furthest thing from a monster. "Through her actions and dedicated hard work, Y/N exemplifies our values of strength and bravery. Which is why I'm honoured to call her an agent, and to give her this award. So please help me welcome her onto the stage." And yet, Y/N stays rooted in her spot, too hesitant to go out in front of such a big crowd on her own.
So much for being a hero.
"Clearly, she's not used to the spotlight." The director chuckles, and further laughter ripples through the crowd. Y/N gulps, her uncomfortableness back in full force. Maybe it would be better if she ran.
"You're a smart woman, and I'd be remiss if I didn't let you share your thoughts." Suddenly, Steve's words echo in her mind again, cutting through her fears. "I'm proud of you."
At first, the sound of Steve's voice makes her feel even more upset, especially since she still hasn't heard anything from him. But then, Y/N realises that Steve, the one person who actually loves her, would want her to accept this award. So, taking a deep breath, Y/N walks out on stage.
As she does, the room erupts with the sound of cheering and the flashing of cameras. The sudden sound and brightness makes her wince as she approaches the director. He grasps her hand, shaking it tightly. "Well done." He grins, passing over a small plaque to her. The cameras go off a few more times, and the applause starts again.
And then, thankfully, it's over.
Later that night, as she makes the rounds greeting people and giving interviews, Y/N keeps glancing down at the award in her arms. It's so small. She's been through so much pain and trauma, including almost dying...and all she gets is a fucking tiny wooden plaque. Meanwhile, there's no doubt her bosses are using this opportunity to improve their own careers, and she'll soon be forgotten about again. She scans the room, noticing her co-workers looking at her. And she'll soon be back to being a target for jokes and bullies by the same people praising her. Just another cog in the machine.
"You know, you need a new job if this is how they treat you." Steve's words, some of the first he ever said to her, echo in her mind. Back then, she thought he was just saying them to get under her skin and play on her fear. Deep down, though, she knew he was right. And now, she's finally going to take his advice. Because she loved her job at first, and will always be grateful to them for indirectly introducing her to Steve. Without him, her whole life wouldn't have been turned upside down, and she probably would have died back in that church. Now though, she's had enough, and she can't do it anymore.
So a few days later, Y/N enters her office once more, and she packs everything up. Once she's finished, Y/N goes to see her boss. "Why do I have a bad feeling about whatever you're about to tell me?" He chuckles when he sees her. Y/N takes a deep breath.
"Sir, I'd like to hand in my resignation." She passes over an envelope, which her boss studies. "I appreciate everything you've done, and all the opportunities I had. I just-"
"After what happened, you can't do it anymore?" He finishes for her, and she nods. "Well Y/N, you've done a lot of good in your time here, arguably more so than anyone in this entire agency. But you've been through a lot. Including seeing enough blood and gore to last a lifetime." He sighs, getting up to shake her hand. "I can't say I won't miss you...but I understand." He grasps her hand, shaking it firmly. "And besides, you're leaving here a hero. Few people can say that." Y/N nods.
"Thank you for everything you've done, sir."
"No. Thank you." He insists. "After all, you did it all on your own, remember?" Y/N feels herself blushing. If only they knew the truth, and how Steve helped her. And how she let him go. She wouldn't have such a hero's reputation then. Sometimes she wonders if it would change anything if she admitted how much Steve helped her. She knows it's foolish to hope that doing so would bring Steve back and drop everything against him, but after dreaming of him for so long and finally getting him...it doesn't hurt to try again, right?
But unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. And if she and Steve are over, then so be it.
"What are you going to do with yourself, then?" He asks.
"I don't know. I just need some time to myself. Maybe I'll do some travelling."
"Well, I hope life is good for you. Especially after all of this. You deserve it."
"Thank you." Y/N replies, blinking back her tears.
"If you want to come back, or you need anything at all, please don't hesitate." Y/N nods, and after saying her last goodbyes, she leaves the office. She can see all her co-workers staring at her, whispering amongst themselves once more. She was right after all: it's not even been a week since her ceremony, and she's already back to being the joke of the office. But not anymore. Turning away with a scoff, Y/N leaves the office for the last time.
A few days later, Y/N sighs as she looks through her mail. Bills, bills, more requests for interviews....the same as usual. But then, one letter pops out in an unfamiliar handwriting. Frowning, she tears it open and begins to read.
"Dear Y/N. My beautiful, beautiful Y/N. I'm sorry it's been so long since I got in contact with you. I had to make sure it was safe, but I have missed you so much." Immediately, Y/N's eyes widen, her heart rate increases, and her body heats up with excitement. Steve. He's alive. He's okay. He's alive. Trying to calm herself down, Y/N keeps reading, a huge smile on her face. "I've just seen you receiving your award on television, and although I'm a little hurt to not be included, I'm so proud that you're finally receiving the recognition you deserve. I've never stopped thinking about you or stopped loving you, and I hope you still feel the same about me."
"Of course I do." She whispers without a second thought.
"I've got a house now, and a new life. If you still want to be with me, come and find me." There's an address at the bottom of the letter. Involuntarily, Y/N lets out a squeal of excitement.
He wants to see her again.
He still loves her.
She has to go see him.
Glancing out of the window, Steve sighs. Since he's still technically a fugitive, he's had to move away from Portland, away from his real home and from the love of his life, and assume a new identity. He wanted to contact Y/N as soon as he left, but it was too risky, and could put either of them in danger. So, Steve waited. Even though the constant worry over how Y/N is doing is all-consuming. He knows she was at least okay a week ago, because he saw her accepting her award on TV. But after that, anything could've happened. The sight of her lying on the ground, blood pouring out of her, still haunts his every waking moment. He could've done so much more to help her. And yet...he ran, like a coward. If she's hurt again, he'd never be able to live with himself.
Suddenly, a knock sounds at the door, and Steve goes to answer it. When he sees who's standing there, he gasps. "Hi Steve." Y/N smiles, her eyes filled with tears.
"Y/N?" He whispers. "You're here?"
Chuckling, Y/N nods. "I got your letter." Immediately, she drops her bags and runs forward into his arms, and he squeezes her tightly. He buries his nose in her hair and her clothing, inhaling her scent once more.
"I'm so glad you're here...that you're okay." He murmurs, pressing a kiss to her lips, one full of passion and longing. Y/N moans happily. Once they've pulled apart, Steve still keeps her in his arms for a bit longer. If he could, he'd keep her there, safe in his embrace forever. "I love you so much. Welcome home." He grins, kissing her forehead tenderly.
Y/N and Steve know that their relationship and lives have been a whirlwind of chaos and unpredictability, but they're ready for their new life together.
Always and forever.
The End.