"When you drunk, you tell me exactly how you feel (I will wait for you, for you)
When I'm loaded, I keep it real (I will wait for you, I will wait for you)
Please tell a real one exactly what it is (I will wait, will wait, for you, for you)
Don't say it 'cause you know that's what I wanna hear (I will wait for you, I will wait for you)."
Future ft. Drake & Tems "WAIT FOR U"
Nicole
"Nicole." I turned away from the vanity towards the door. I've been struggling with drawing this wing. It's starting to look like a bull horn. Kudos to people who do creative looks for clients or just for fun because I can't even keep my hand steady. I just think it's anything I bring close to my eyes. Don't get me started on the battle to put on lashes.
I actually welcome this interruption so I can stop kidding myself that I can do this makeup sh*t.
"Yes, Tucson?"
"There's someone's here to see you."
"Who is it?" I removed the towel from my hair. I had a shoot today for my new lashes and I was in a bathtub. Baby, I looked sexy.
Tucson opened up the door wider to reveal Dewayne standing there with a bouquet of pink roses.
"Hey Nic Nic."
"Hey. What are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood, so I decided to stop by. I got these for you."
"Thank you. They're beautiful. Isn't your office on the other side of town?"
"Right. I, well I—." He tried to spit out his words as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.
"Dewayne calm down. I was just pulling your legs. Thank you for thinking of me."
"You're welcome. You had lunch yet?"
"I ate a little something. I'm heading to the gym in a few, so I'm not trying to have anything heavy right now."
"Oh. Are you busy tonight?"
"I don't think so. Why?"
"You should come over. I'll make us something for dinner."
"Okay. What time?"
"Is 7 good?"
"Yeah, that works for me."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
"Take care of yourself." I smiled at him, smelling the flowers as he backed out of the room.
I gently placed them on the counter as I wiped the eyeliner off of my face. I only put on sunscreen and chapstick. I had an old, dark green t shirt with grey leggings. My beaten up Skechers are in the car.
"Okay crew. I'm heading out."
"Yes ma'am. Go and enjoy your flowers from your boo."
"Whatever Tucson." Before I left, I looked at Tae. We haven't spoken since the party, but we've been around each other. He didn't really need to be at the shoot today, but he still came to support.
I'm not going to tell anyone how to live their lives. As your best friend, I'll always have your back but if you're deceiving someone who loves you, I can't support you. I already know the way Tae would have destroyed Shawn on social media and in public if the reverse was the case. His tires would have been slashed and that home wrecker would have been in the bottom of the lake.
"Come on, five more." Tre instructed me.
"Cut it down to three." My waist is burning the h*ll out of me. My legs are tired.
"Uh uh. You're almost there." I went slowly on the final hip thrusts and threw myself on the ground when I was finished. Tre threw a towel at my face and handed me a bottle of water. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"Shut up." I laughed.
"What's been going on with you?"
"Nothing much, just chilling."
"I heard from a little birdie that you and Dewayne have gotten close lately."
"Tucson and his big *ss mouth." I rolled my eyes, causing him to chuckle. "I don't know. I just feel guilty about the whole thing."
"What do you mean?"
"I know it's been two years since Kyle's been gone, but I still feel like it's not long enough."
"I feel like Kyle wouldn't have wanted you to be alone for too long. I know what y'all shared was special and it's probably hard to find, but when the right time comes, I know you'll find something similar maybe even better
"Yeah, I just don't know when that right time is."
"Just allow things to flow naturally. Follow your heart."
"You're right. Thanks."
"That'll be an extra $500 for that relationship advice." I threw the towel at him and stood up.
"Boy please."
After wrapping up at the gym, I passed by Smoothie King to get a keto champ berry smoothie on my way home. I am starving, but I'm trying to hold off for dinner.
I honestly didn't know if I was supposed to dress up for this, so I just threw on a casual two piece consisting of a cropped hoodie and leggings after taking a shower. I sat on the couch until 5:45. I grabbed a bottle of red wine and left the house.
Surprisingly, traffic wasn't all that bad. If I'm being honest, listening to Lil Baby while driving causes me to forget about the speed limit. I got to Dewayne's place with forty minutes to stare. I was contemplating on getting out of the car and going inside this early versus going to Publix to buy ice cream and kill time. This man probably hasn't even started cooking yet.
As I applied chapstick to my lips, Dewayne came out in shorts and slides with a big old grin on his face. He jogged over and opened my door.
"Why do you look so happy?"
"I can't be happy to see you?"
"You can, but I know you. What do you have planned?"
"Just dinner and watching movies."
"Mhmmm." We stepped into the house and I was immediately hit with the smell of shrimp and pasta. My stomach growled as I sat down at the little set up Dewayne had in the living room.
"How are tour arrangements going?"
"Pretty good. The dates and venues are in check. Flights are booked and everybody knows the expectations. You?"
"Pretty much the same except for the flights."
"What do you mean?"
"I haven't purchased any tickets." I hide my face.
"Really Nic?"
"I know. I'm just being real cheap. The stays have been expensive as h*ll. I have thought about just road tripping the whole way. I actually would rather be stuck in a car than on a plane with Tae and Tucson. If I get tired of them, I can easily get out of the car."
"Don't turn stingy on me."
"I'm not. I'll buy them by the end of this week. I just hope the seminars turn out good. We've been sold out for some time and I really want people to feel like it was beneficial."
"They will. You and the girls got this."
"Thank you." My phone vibrated and it was an email from Quest. I opened it up and it told me to log into my account to see the test results. I clicked the link and waited for it to load. Not my data acting up. I went to my wifi settings and searched for the one that said 'BigDaddyD', but it wasn't there. "Did you change your Wi-Fi? It's not coming up on my phone?"
"Oh yeah. My bad. I got a new router from Xfinity. I wrote the info down somewhere." He came in a tray with two plates of spaghetti and two wine glasses.
"It's fine. You can do it later. Ooouuu, this looks good." We prayed over the food. While he opened up the bottle of wine, I took the first bite. That sh*t was bussing.
"Tre is going to kill my *ss."
"Why?"
"I'm not supposed to be eating carbs. The way I almost got destroyed for that McDonald's."
"You told him?"
"You know I'm a bad liar."
"I know."
"Excuse me sir."
"I still remember how you ratted me out to my Mom when we were in 10th grade."
"If you would have just told me where you were going with your homeboys, I could have covered for you. All you said was I should tell your Mom we were working on a science project. She started asking me when you were coming home, what type of project we were working on, and if she could talk to you. I panicked and had to spill the beans. I still remember that sweet *ss beating she gave you after you tried to sneak into my house." I laughed.
"Hahaha. At least I got my lick back when I told your Momma about Marc."
"You and the boys were dead wrong when y'all told her y'all saw us kissing. I never liked Marc. I was only friends with him and he was helping me with my algebra II homework."
"Yeah right. If I didn't stop you when I did, it would have turned into something else."
"First of all, you were not my father and never will be. Second of all, I knew what I was doing and could make reasonable decisons for myself. Most importantly, I wasn't a pass around like you."
"I admit I liked to dip and dabble, but I still had standards."
"If you say so. Y'all literally c*ck blocked me forever, even in college."
"We may have been doing too much, but we were just looking out for you. Honestly, I may have been jealous."
"Jealous of what?"
"Back then, it was of someone trying to steal my best friend. Now, I don't want anyone trying to take you away from me because I want you to be more than my friend. I want you to be mine."
"I like how it took you this long to figure that out." I rolled my eyes, looking at the tv. Why am I just realizing we never put on a movie?
"Nicole."
"Sorry, I'll admit that was a low blow. I don't think you understand how it feels to see someone everyday and be so in love with that person, and they don't see it. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't spend so much time tripping over you, would I have met Kyle sooner and had more time with him."
"I'm sorry. I should have seen it sooner."
"I don't even care that you didn't see it when we were babies, kids, or preteens. But for you to be my first and acted like I was a random chick you hooked up with was hurtful. Even if you didn't want to date me or be my boyfriend, I would have preferred it if you would have just said that there was no possibility of us getting together. It's almost like you were embarrassed of the situation."
"I wasn't embarrassed. Deep down, I felt like was scared to even pursue a relationship with you. At that time, I wasn't ready to be serious with someone. I didn't want to f*ck up and ruin our friendship."
"But you were mature when you dated Kennedy."
"Nicole, I don't know why I did the things I did. Maybe I was in denial of my feelings for you or I was just plain stupid. I'm telling you here and now that I now know what I want. If you just give me a chance, I can prove myself to you and right all of my wrongs. I want the opportunity to heal your heart and bring love to you for as long as you let me."
"If only it could be that easy."
"It can be if you let it." It just felt like time stopped. Dewayne stared into my eyes and when he leaned into me, I didn't move. The first touch of our lips lit a spark in me like it was something I had been yearning for a long time.
When my back laid up against the edge of the couch and his arms wrapped around my waist, something in me snapped back into reality. I pulled back and gently pushed my hands against his chest.
"Stop. I should go." I rose up from the ground and grabbed my bag.
"Nicole. Nicole!" He pulled me back. "Look, I apologize if I pushed too hard or made you feel uncomfortable. I don't want it to look like I'm pressurizing you because I would never do that."
"I know you wouldn't do that. It's not you. I'm just not ready for this."
"I understand. There's no rush. I'm willing to wait for you."
"What if I'm never ready?" I looked at him and he didn't have an answer. I shook my head and slipped on my crocs at the front door. "Good night Dewayne." I left and didn't look back.
Why is this so hard for me?
*************************************************
Tae
"You said you have no idea why Nicole wanted us to come over tonight?"
"No, she didn't say." I told Shawn as we got out of the car. It's almost 10 and her car is in the driveway. I knew she would be home at this time. Why am I lowkey wishing she wasn't?
"I hope she's okay."
"Me too." I felt my body shaking as he rang the doorbell.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just tired."
"When we get home, I'll use these magical hands to give you a massage that'll put you to sleep." I gave him a small smile. You might be using them to choke the h*ll out of me in a minute.
"What are y'all doing here?" Nicole opened the door with her pajamas on and a face mask.
"Didn't you invite us over?" Before she could reply, I spoke up.
"Don't you remember you wanted to talk to us about something?" I blocked the left side of my face, sending her a hint and pleading with my eyes.
"Oh yeah. It totally skipped my mind. Come in. Let me go wash my face real quick."
"Okay." We sat down on the couch. My right leg started bouncing, and I had to stretch it out to avoid Shawn suspecting me.
"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back." I didn't even wait for him to reply. I speed walked upstairs and went immediately to Nicole's room.
"Look, I know how this is messed up just popping up on you like this."
"I don't know what kind of stunt you're trying to pull, but I'm not going to be a part of it."
"I didn't know what to do. Lately I've been seeing Rashad at so many events. He was even at a private dinner at Shawn's restaurant. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest every time because I'm scared of what'll happen if Shawn finds out the truth. I want to come clean."
"Then come clean. Why did you need to come here?"
"Because I need your support. Just be there for me please!"
"Fine. Let's go." I followed her downstairs. Shawn was sitting in the same spot, sipping on a can of Sprite that he helped himself to. We sat down and it was awkward because we were all just staring at each other.
"So?"
"You know how in relationships there has to be trust. Sometimes when one person makes a mistake, it can break that trust but depending on the situation it can be built back."
"Not if it's cheating. That sh*t is done like it never existed."
Damn. I'm f*cked.
"Even when you love that person more than yourself?"
"What are you driving at?"
"Shawn, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." I blurted out, grabbing his hands.
"Sorry for what?"
"I cheated on you." He pulled back his hands.
"What?"
"It only happened once. It didn't mean anything."
"You're joking right?"
"No."
"Wow." He stood up and started pacing.
"Shawn."
"With who?"
"What?"
"Who did you cheat with?"
"Rashad." I nearly whispered. The way this man turned to look at me.
"Are you f*cking serious? You had me being friendly with that n*gga every time I saw him knowing damn well you were on his d*ck?"
"It wasn't like that."
"How was it like?"
"Before I went to Houston, we were arguing constantly. I went there and I slept with him only once. I didn't give him my number or tell him to hit me up when he came to Atlanta."
"You really expect me to believe that?"
"You were always busy with work and it was almost like I had to beg you for sex. I've been booking events only in Atlanta for the last couple of months just to spend time with you, but you haven't done anything to change your schedule so you can't put the blame completely on me."
"So, instead of talking to me about our issues, you went and sucked the next n*gga's d*ck? You ain't sh*t."
"F*ck you Shawn."
"I deserve better than this."
"Walk away like you always do. That's what you're good at. That's exactly how you pushed me away into the arms of another man."
"Go do you. I wish you the best."
"Whatever. Just get the f*ck out. I'll come get my sh*t."
"Did that just happen?" Nicole asked looking astonished.
"Did you see how easily his punk *ss gave up on us?"
"Did you really expect him to be begging you to stay when you're the one who cheated?"
"Whose side are you on?"
"I'm not on anybody's side. I'm sure that was the last thing Shawn expected to hear. Y'all have been through some crazy sh*t since y'all been together, but this situation here is crazy. Ain't no relationship or person is perfect, but I don't think Shawn thought you two were falling apart to the extent you felt like you needed to find comfort from outside. I know you're better than that, but you have to admit you messed up bad. And what happened just a few moments ago, I know that's not what you wanted to happen in your heart. I know you love him and he loves you. You guys just need some time to breathe before you can meet again to talk like adults, and figure out if there's a chance to resolve this or if it's time to say goodbye."
"You're right." I threw my head back. "What's going on with you?"
"Chile, I don't even know."
I felt that.
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