Wanda's not used to having the house alone anymore. From dog-sitting to having a teenager, her life alone has virtually disappeared.
She used to spend so much time alone, but she can't say she doesn't like having people around. Even at the compound (which she didn't spend too much time at, to be fair), she enjoyed having people around, even though she didn't talk to most of them.
Really, she only talked to Sam, Steve, Vision, and Natasha. Being around Tony was like reopening an old wound, Rhodey spent far more time flaking in and out of things, and Bruce and Thor were off planet.
Either way, she's spent the afternoon cleaning up the apartment. That included a lot of vacuuming - the apartment still seems to be recovering from having two dogs around -, did dishes, and managed to do a little bit of grocery shopping as well.
Now, as she's halfway through an episode of How I Met Your Mother, particularly The Pompissible, Natasha and Anya finally come home.
"Wanda," Natasha's voice has some kind of warning in it, "your daughter did something."
"It's not a big deal," Anya argues as they reveal themselves to her.
It takes Wanda a second to register that Anya's long dark hair is now gone and that the dark blue knit beanie on her head is covering just skin, but when she does, she glances at Natasha.
"It's not a big deal," Wanda echoes, standing from the couch and walking over, "Does this mean that Yelena cut hers, too?"
Natasha nods, "She doesn't seem too happy about it."
"To be completely honest, this had like, only, 60% to do with Yelena," Anya says, going straight for the kitchen for something to eat. Something that Wanda's realized over the two months Anya's been here is that she eats a lot.
Wanda can't say she relates - she remembers being hungry a lot as a teenager, but she was also imprisoned and given rations that were barely enough for a toddler. So, she ends up letting Anya eat as she pleases, especially since doing research she's learned that growing teenagers eat a lot. It's probably normal.
(Besides, they don't keep a ton of junk food and Anya normally resorts to protein bars. So, she can't complain.)
Natasha nudges her side, "She shaved her head."
"And?" Wanda glances at her, "Hair grows back."
Natasha huffs through gritted teeth, "I know that. I dyed my hair blue when I was ten. But what if she wakes up tomorrow and hates it? Or she hates us for not stopping her? Or-"
"Nat," Wanda locks eyes with her, "She's safe. It's just hair, and if she freaks out, she can buy a wig. Now, did you eat dinner? How's your sister?"
"I didn't," Natasha admits softly, standing a little closer to her and intertwining their fingers, "she did, though. Apparently they ordered Chinese."
"That's good," Wanda kisses her cheek, "I'll make us something. And maybe her highness can have some, too."
She raises her voice so Anya can hear her and earns a little bashful smile from it.
After finishing dinner, Anya disappears into her room and Natasha and Wanda find themselves quietly cleaning up the kitchen together. There are very few words exchanged, and it's peaceful in a way that settles any anxieties that Wanda has, and once they're done they settle into bed in much the same way.
It's all a stark contrast to last night, and while she doesn't want to bring all of that up because she enjoys the peace, she can't help but want to ask.
"Did you think at all about what we talked about last night?"
Natasha hums lazily, "Not much."
"Well," Wanda rolls over so she can see Natasha, "Do you know when she's leaving?"
Wanda doesn't know what she wants out of this conversation - if anything she wants for Natasha to stop closing herself off. She thought that they've moved past that.
"I don't," Natasha sighs, "I... I actually spent a lot of time last night thinking about us."
That, admittedly, piques her attention.
"What about us?" Wanda asks softly.
"Just, I don't know," Nataasha says quietly, eyes not meeting Wanda's and instead on her nails, "I've been in love with you for so long now. And we've been through a lot together. It's almost... almost overwhelming."
"Speaking of overwhelming," Wanda gently takes one of Natasha's hands in hers, running her thumb over the back of it before speaking again, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Natasha."
Natasha huffs, eyes still fixed on their conjoined hands, "My sister has cancer. Of course I'm not okay. You know that if Pietro were still alive and this were him that you'd be a mess, too."
"I'm not saying you shouldn't be a mess," Wanda reminds her softly, "but, you haven't been you since she got diagnosed. All you do is worry about her and you're not taking care of yourself."
"She wanted someone to look out for her, didn't she?" Natasha tries to joke, even layering it with a half-hearted chuckle, but Wanda doesn't budge. "It's still new, Wanda. It's a big adjustment."
"I'm aware," Wanda pauses for a second, not wanting to pop the bubble that they've created and send one of them to the couch for the night. She should be better at this, honestly. "I've noticed, though, that over the last... week and a half, maybe? You've been having a harder time than usual."
"You're talking about the panic attack," Natasha grumbles, focusing now on the ceiling instead of Wanda.
It feels like a punch to the gut.
"We still haven't talked about it," Wanda coaxes gently, "This isn't what you're like normally."
"You don't know that," Natasha says, her voice wavering ever-so-slightly. Wanda's sure that if she were any less attentive that she'd miss it. "You... you weren't here when everyone disappeared."
"And you haven't talked about it," Wanda says, "if you're ready, though."
Natasha swallows, and Wanda can tell she's trying to hold back. Hold back from what, Wanda's not sure, but if her powers are telling her anything, it's that Natasha's held on to whatever emotion is behind this for a long time.
Natasha then lets out a shaky breath, "You can look."
Wanda knows what that statement means - Natasha's willing to share the memories with her without having to tell them out loud. She's willing to let Wanda walk through them with her and hand over her thoughts and experiences along with it. It's a lot.
"Dorogoy, if you don't want to talk about it yet, it can wait," Wnada tells her, reaching over so she can face Natasha's face to hers, "I'm just worried about you."
Natasha's eyes meet hers for the first time since they settled into bed, "I know. I... I still want you to do it, though. Please."
Wanda nods, gently kissing the back of Natasha's hand first and letting Natasha kiss her open palm before she gently enters her fiancé's mind.
The first memory she sees is loud. It's chaotic. There's so much happening and she feels the soreness of Natasha's body as she fights on. But then, she's thrown to the ground and trapped in some sort of hellish wooden spike thing. There's less commotion now and really only the sound of blood pumping in her ears. It's almost deafening.
By the time she's free, Natasha's too late. Wanda hears how quiet Natasha's mind gets the second she watches herself turn to dust and the way Natasha's entire body goes numb. And even numb, she's in so much pain that it's all so unbearable.
The next memories are all over the next couple of weeks, finding Tony and the arrival of Carol Danvers, learning who's been lost and not making any time for mourning. There's a constant echo of they're not really dead, they can come back, and it breaks Wanda's heart.
But then their efforts fail and Thanos is dead and everything gets dark and heavy.
Days are spent in bed, stomach grumbling for nothing, showers so far from consideration that her hair stuck to her skull with oil.
The panic attacks - not exactly like the one in the bathroom but following the same set of symptoms, are frequent and unrelenting. They come following bad dreams, they come following some of her decisions, they come in the shower,
It's exhausting.
The memories after that, though, are the ones when Natasha finally wades her way out of her sorrows and starts to flip her life right-side-up again.
She's leaving her room now, she's going out of the compound and running errands, she's even learning simple recipes like just add water pancakes and Kraft Mac'n'Cheese and Marie Callenders pre-made lunches.
She's even watching things again, beginning with old movies and tacking the tally sheet with lines as she watches a couple of them for the umpteenth time.
She takes this time to buy the books that she eventually turns into life collections, and Wanda's a little put off when she goes into Wanda's recovered phone and finds photos to add to the book.
There's a brief moment of some kind of impressed chuckle when she comes across the photos of her napping. Wanda kept those as a guilty pleasure. She never truly intended for Natasha to see all of them, maybe just a select few. But they're funny nonetheless.
It's heartwarming, though, when Natasha seems to be leveling herself out and not as unstable as before, and that's when Wanda pulls herself away.
"I'll be better, Wanda," are Natasha's first reassurements, "Last time, I was alone, and I'm used to dealing with this stuff alone, but... I'm not anymore."
She sighs, pressing her head to Wanda's as they lay there in a comfortable silence, "I love you."
"I love you, too," Wanda says softly, "and you have me. At least until I go to sleep, because I'm kind of exhausted."
That's followed by a yawn, and when Natasha catches it she laughs a little through it, "Okay."
Their noses brush and Natasha moves a little closer so that they can kiss, "I'll start talking more. I'll try to start talking more."
"Okay," Wanda says again, kissing her softly before pulling her against her body, "Sleep well, lyubov."
"What's it like?"
Vision's looking at her, some kind of curious look in his eyes that she can't decipher. He's never been easy to understand.
"What's what like?" Wanda asked, trying not to fidget as her hair is done.
"Being in love," Vision prompts, "Your brother, Mr. Maximoff, said it doesn't really exist."
"Well, he's an idiot," Wanda snorts, "but... I don't know. It's amazing. It's the best thing in the world. And she's not... Nat's not just someone I'm in love with, sometimes it feels like she;s apart of my soul. Which is, like, crazy, because I thought I knew what love was like the first time around, but this time..."
She sighs happily, "I love her. So much."
"Huh," Vision says quietly, standing unsettlingly still as he mulls over her words, "Where is Pietro, anyway?"
"I'm here, I'm here!" her "older" brother charges in through the door, his hair perfectly done out of his face and suit somehow perfectly unwrinkled.
His bright red blazer matches the newly dyed bright red hair (and not any natural form of red - it looks like he put candy apple coating on his hair) and he looks so put together that it almost seems wrong.
"You made it!" Wanda exclaims, happy that the stylist is finally done with her hair and getting wrapped immediately in a tight hug, "Oh my god, I was three seconds away from tagging Vision is as my best man."
"Hey, no," Pietro points at Vision, "My sister."
"I'm aware of that," Vision nods curtly, "I'll be on my way now."
With that, the synthezoid disappears and they're left with just Pietro and Wanda.
"You look great," Pietro says, "I can't believe you're getting married."
"Me either," Wanda replies quietly, "You think she's going to like it?"
She twirls, the skirt of the dress billowing just enough. Natasha said that they should get married on the beach, and Wanda's sure that the lack of footwear is the best part of the ordeal.
"Alright, wiggly woos," Pietro leads her out of the dressing room, "It's time to get you to your soon-to-be wife."
"Are the boys ready? I haven't seen them in hours," Wanda asks, grabbing her flowers and fixing the flower-adorned headband she has on.
"Billy has not left the rings' side," Pietro assures her, "and Tommy is going to be the best flower human ever."
"Okay," Wanda lets out a breath of nervous energy, "Let's get me married."
i love wanda's dreams 🥲