I HUFF AS I TAKE A SEAT ON THE crowded couch. I was at a party with Sammi.
"Come on, Nisey," she had begged me, "I won't leave you when we get to the party."
And now here I was, all alone while she went with her boyfriend to do god knows what. It was Halloween so every single person was dressed up.
Except me, of course.
I just pulled on something and told her let's go. I wanted to get it over with. But, we just got here so I knew we weren't leaving anytime soon.
I squirm a little with a grimace as these people carelessly rub up against me. I would go outside but it's freezing and I dont have my coat. After awhile I couldn't take it anymore and went to the kitchen. It wasn't as crowded. I went straight for the candy bowls. It was three big ones so what did I do? I took one even though I knew I wasn't supposed to.
I was about to walk back out to find an empty room to sit in upstairs when I was stopped by a familiar voice.
"Now why you just take they candy like that?"
I turn around and it was Nique looking at me with an amused face. I roll my eyes, annoyed. Every time I see her now she irks my nerves. I leave the kitchen and go upstairs into the first room I saw. Luckily, there was no one in there.
I went to close the door but Nique was right there. She slipped through before closing it herself. I smack my teeth and walk over to the bed before sitting down.
"What's yo problem?" She asks, eyebrows furrowed.
"Nothing."
"So why you acting like that? Rolling your eyes and smacking yo teeth and shit. I told yo' ass about that. And I asked you a question. Why you take they shit?"
"'Because I wanted to."
"Well when you with me ain't no doing what you want. You gone act right in my presence unless you wanna get that ass beat."
"But you came up to me."
"And? You still in my presence, so you gone act right like I said."
I play with the candy in the bowl, avoiding eye contact.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing."
"Stop fuckin' playin' with me. You think I'm dumb?"
"I'm aggravated."
She leans on the wall. "Okay, why you aggravated?"
"Me and my friend came here together and she left me to go be with her boyfriend."
"Talking about the girl who be going to her lil boyfriend house?"
"Yeah."
"You knew she was gone do that?"
"Did I? She does it every time."
"So, why you come if you knew she was gone do it again? That's yo fault."
"It's not my fault! I told her I ain't wanna come and she forced me."
"Who you yelling at?" I shut my mouth and look away. "And she ain't force you. She wasn't holding no knife to yo throat. You could've said no. So, yeah it is yo fault." She comes over to me and snatches the bowl from me. "Give me this shit." She holds it under her arm as she leaves the room.
Ughhh! This is what I mean when I say she irks my nerves. Before today though, I hadn't seen her in a while. The only times I'd see her is if we were going down to the forest to shoot the guns. I'm getting better at that by the way. I check my phone to see what time it was and groan when I see that only ten minutes have passed. I toss the phone to the side and Nique comes waltzing back in.
Oh, my goodness. I just want some peace. I try not to show the aggravation on my face as she makes me scoot over so she can sit on the bed, her back to the headboard.
She pulls her black bookbag off her shoulder and opens it. There were tons of drugs and I instantly found interest in my phone as I laid there. I didn't do drugs and I didnt plan on doing them.
I settled on watching Wild N' Out Compilations on YouTube to pass the time. She rolled her blunt and the smell filled the room once she took a pull. I scrunch up my nose.
Ew, man.
"Shawty?"
She better not ask me what I think she about to.
I hum and look at her. She holds the blunt out to me and I shake my head. "Nah."
But she edges me. "Come on. This'll help loosen you up."
"I'm better now."
"Come your ass here."
"I really don't want it—"
She side eyes me as she takes another pull and I slowly sit up before coming closer. She blows the smoke to the side away from my face before taking another drag. She grabs my chin and gestures for me to open my mouth. I do so and our lips touch as the smoke leaves her mouth and enters mine. I reluctantly inhale before laying back down but I didn't pay attention to my phone. I stare at the ceiling as my mind becomes fuzzy.
Either I'm crazy or I'm already feeling the affects of that blunt. A few minutes in and I've come to the conclusion that I am high because I feel lighter. They say you feel lighter when you do it. I look over at Nique and her eyes were red and low but that was about it. She didn't look like she was really affected. I furrow my eyebrows and she catches me.
"You coolin'?" She asks.
I ignore her question. "Am I high?"
She chuckles. "It look like it to me. You feel high?"
I ignore her again. "Why am I high and you not?"
"I am high. I'm just use to this, you not. And because this shit right here," she shakes it, "it's stronger than the average. This ain't no regular weed. So it's gone get to you faster."
"And you was tryna get me to smoke it," I mumble. I'm assuming she didn't hear me because she just continued to smoke while scrolling on her phone. "Nique?"
"Yeah?"
"Look at me." She does so. "You heard what I said?"
"Nah, what you say?"
"I said you tried to make me smile that and it's strong."
"Nigga, huh?"
"Huh?"
"You said I tried to make you smile that and it's strong."
I scrunch up my face and try to think about it but I can't. "No, I said you tried to make me smoke it and it's strong."
"That ain't what you said."
I straight face her. "How you gone tell me what I said out my own mouth." I really felt like I was floating. I could feel my self entering a daze. I squint at Nique waiting for a response but she gives none. She just gets back on her phone. "Umm, helloooo. I'm still talking to you." I barely get a response from her. I sit up and tap her. "Look at me, I'm floating."
She finally looks at me. "Yo eyes red as fuck Nisey."
"Let me see." She shows me myself in her camera. "Damnnnnn." I begin to laugh hard, so hard that my stomach begins to hurt and tears were coming from my eyes. That's so funny to me! I hit Nisey a couple of times.
"Bro, you geeked," she says.
Through my laugh I say, "shot gun me again."
"You sho you gone be able to handle that?"
I nod with a bright smile, not knowing I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I laugh at the Arby's ad playing on my phone. That's all I've been doing since Nique shotgunned me for a second time. At first, she was clowning me about it but now I think she's gotten use to it because she hasn't said anything. She was much calmer than me too. While I was laughing like crazy she was chilling. Her head was tilted back, eyes closed.
I get off the bed and almost fall. My legs feel weird.
"Where you going?" She asks.
"Just gone go downstairs. I'm hungry."
"Nah, sit down I got you. What you want?"
"That candy bowl."
Her face deadpans. "You really want that whole bowl?"
I get on the bed. "Yes! Please get it. Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!—"
"Aight, shut up!"
She leaves the room and I look around. Everything seemed to interest me. My eyes land on the blunt she left. Should I smoke it? I look at the door before looking at it again. Shitttt, might as well. I grab it and take a long drag. I watch the smoke form a cloud in front of me as I exhale and smile. I feel like Bob Marley.
True Jamaican!
"Wait...Does he smoke," I mumble to myself.
The doorknob jiggles and I quickly put the blunt down before playing sleep.
"Nisey?" I say nothing as a smile tries to invade my face. "Nisey?" She shakes me and I bust out laughing. "Here." She ignores my laughing and hands me the candy bowl.
I grab the first piece my hands touch and unwrap it. It tasted ten times better!
"This is so good, bro." I begin to blabber about nothing in particular and that's when I noticed that I couldn't control how much I was talking. I just kept talking and talking although I didn't want to. I wanted to be quiet but my mouth wouldn't stop moving. What the fuck?
The more I thought about it, the more paranoid I got. What if I talk her head off? I don't wanna be the reason her high is blown.
It starts to feel like the room is bouncing around and I become scared. And to make matters worse, it seems like things just keep happening. I started seeing stars, my tongue felt like static, my hands and arms felt tingly, my eyes felt like they were beginning to swell. I panic.
"Nique?" I look at her.
"Yeah?"
I grab her shoulder. "I feel weird. What's wrong with me?"
"It's just the weed." Her voice sounded distant.
I shake my head and shake her a little. "I think I did too much."
"Did too much what?"
"Smoking."
"You only shotgunned twice."
"After you left to get my candy I smoked the blunt."
She smacks her teeth. "Why would you do that?"
I shrug. "I don't know."
She groans, dragging a hand down her face. "Niseyyyy." The way she said it scared me. She said it as if I shouldn't have done that. Why shouldn't I have done that?!
I begin to rock back and fourth as I rubbed my arm. "I feel like a crack head! Am I gonna be stuck like this?!"
"No, just chill out, aight? You gone be straight."
But I didn't believe her. "I'm gone be stuck like this," I cry. "I'm gone be feigning for this stuff. I'm gone be on the streets begging for weed. Nique help me! Help me get it out."
"I can't do none for you. You gone have to let it blow over."
"Yes, you can! Just reverse it. Let me blow it back into the blunt."
"That's not how it work."
My eyes brim with tears. "I'm stuck like this."
I try to distract myself by eating more candy but I couldn't even open anymore because my hands were shaking. "Why are my hands shaking?"
"'Cause—"
"I'm feigning! I'm already becoming addicted. No! Nique. I'm scared."
"You not feigning, Nisey. You good. I promise you good. You just did a little too much like you said."
"Im never doing this again."
Nique says nothing. She just gets back on that damn phone like I wasn't sitting here fighting for my life.
What have I gotten myself into?
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