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chapter sixteen ━ death and all his friends
season six, episode twenty four
❝ one minute we were drinking
coffee, and now the people
we care about are dead.
how did that happen? ❞
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Aliya Levine liked to think she was inquisitive.
However, in actual fact, she was just nosy. She didn't like being left in the dark. She didn't like the unknown.
She hated it in fact.
She hated surprises more than she hated Alex's carbonara, the one thing he could actually cook, though it tasted like complete garbage.
The thing is, Aliya liked to think about the future. Where she would be, who she would be with. Would she still live in Seattle? Or, would she be travelling the world? Only time could tell.
One of the things she did think about often was what it would feel like when she died, seeing as death was the only guarantee in life.
Most importantly, what her final thoughts would be when she was reaching the supposed golden gates.
Aliya had never reached the so called golden gates. She didn't know what it would be like.
Even though she had a few near death experiences ranging from being in close quarters to a bomb in a body cavity, getting in a car crash when she was sixteen, to nearly getting run over on the street on a random Tuesday.
But, what she did know was that when the man in the jacket holding a gun emerged from around the hall, she wasn't thinking about anything else except that man and everyone else around her.
It wasn't like the movies, where her life flashed before her eyes and she saw a montage of her life of sentimental moments that meant a great deal to her.
It was more like the physical sensation of a hand around her heart, puncturing every inch of her heart walls as her eyes froze on him. Watching whilst her head began to pound in panic. Simply watching when Andy was shot. Staring as the man walked carelessly down the hall on a rampage.
She felt light, as if she was drifting into thin air, like she wasn't actually living this.
It was only when she watched Andy die in her arms where everything fell apart. Where she returned to reality and everything that was happening right in front of her eyes began to register. It became real.
She didn't think about anything meaningful that happened in the duration of her life, all she felt was terror and anxiety in the pit of her stomach, and her mind was clouded infinitely by the amount of people she cared about in these hospital walls that could find themselves behind the barrel of a gun.
She didn't want to bury anymore friends.
When George died, Aliya felt as if the world was missing a single piece of a puzzle. And, when Andy was shot, she felt her puzzle fall apart piece by piece, and even though she was acting as fast as she could, she couldn't get all the pieces back together. Everything was falling into a void she couldn't stop or pause, until those pieces simply disappeared into the abyss with Andy's last breath.
After what felt like hours, Aliya couldn't stand to be in that cramped room. She couldn't stand waiting for someone to save her.
She knew she shouldn't move during a lockdown, but she also knew she couldn't stay there. What if he came back? What if someone needed help?
And, well, Aliya wasn't in the optimum mental state so, she chose to walk. The very fact that she was in the same room with the corpse of Andy was making her go insane.
Her fingernails dug into her palms as she tip toed closer to the door, her hand fastening around the handle. When she moved, she realised that blood was sticking to her stomach from where it had soaked through her scrubs.
She turned it slightly, the latch of the door clicking as it swung slowly towards Aliya with a creaking sound. She didn't even look back as she slowly crept out, she had seen enough. It was engraved in her brain like words on a stone.
The corridors of the hospital were oddly silent.
A haunting silence that was completely juxtaposed with the usually hustle and bustle she was used to.
However, the silence didn't last that long as she heard the distant sobs, causing her to stop in her tracks. She continued down the corridor to the source of the crying, slowly and cautiously.
Rounding the corner silently, her eyes fell on April, dressed in fresh pair of dark blue scrubs, trembling as she stared at her shoes. Her eyes were red and tear stained, her whole entire body shaking viciously from all the crying.
"April?" Aliya whispered, softly.
April's stare still remained straight ahead, her hands intertwining together by her knees whilst her foot tapped anxiously on the tiled floor. "I— I heard if you tell someone personal information about yourself they're less likely to kill you."
Aliya's brows knotted together and she dropped to the floor next to her, reaching eye level with April. "Tell me what happened."
April exhaled, deeply, her voice coming out in a croak. "D-Derek. H-He's shot. R-Reed."
Her words came out into a jumbled mess, and her head dipped into her knees, crying even harder into the navy of her scrubs.
Aliya's face dropped as she heard Derek's name. she couldn't loose someone else she cared about.
"R-Reed's dead. S-She's gone." April's voice was barely a whisper. The words mainly sounding like a single intake of breath that Aliya still managed to piece together.
"Oh, April. I'm so sorry." Aliya spoke sincerely, pushing down her hurt and anger at what had happened.
April looked up, new tears beginning to fall down her face. Aliya took her hand, knowing April needed some form of comfort and that she herself needed some too. That was when the guilt set into Aliya's stomach, that she never really made a great deal of effort with those from Mercy West.
She never spoke to Reed that much and now she was dead, and she would never know what Reed was truly like.
"Aliya," April gasped as she looked down at the brunette's scrubs. "Blood—"
"Aliya! April!" Cristina's worried voice sounded behind them, interrupting April's train of thought and causing Aliya to flinch, even though she knew the owner of the voice.
She turned to Cristina, rising from her kneeled position.
"Thank God." The Yang woman pressed a hand to her head in relief.
Cristina wasn't much of a hugger, but she still wrapped her hands around Aliya for a few seconds, holding onto her, at the fact that she was still alive, before they both pulled away simultaneously.
"Oh My— are you okay?" Cristina exclaimed, her eyes flickered to Aliya's scrubs in worry.
Nothing about this is okay. Aliya thought to herself, her eyes trailing down to her scrubs that looked straight out of a horror movie.
"Oh— It's- It's not mine." Aliya's throat bobbed.
Cristina sighed in relief. "Okay— I— I need you to come with me." She stuttered, tugging Aliya's elbow as she pushed her hair nervously back with her other hand.
Aliya planted her sneakers on the ground, looking at Cristina's own blood on her scrubs. "It's Derek, isn't it? The blood on your scrubs."
Cristina nodded in confirmation, continuing to attempt to pull the brunette down the hall.
"Hold on." Aliya urged, looking back at April who was still, despite Cristina's arrival, staring at her shoes. Aliya returned to her side. "I'm sorry for what happened, but I need you to come with me, ok? You can't stay here alone."
April's eyes widened as she swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding her head in understanding. Aliya gave her a tight smile, helping her up to her feet, April's arms looping through Aliya's and Cristina's as the trio descended the hall.
"We need to get to an OR. Teddy and Owen should be up here." Cristina spoke simply, her voice shaking slightly despite her usual composure.
"How bad is it?" Aliya asked, a part of her not wanting to find out the answer.
"He— He has a GSW to the chest. We don't know how much damage it's caused until Teddy operates. Mer's with him now."
"Mer's with him." Aliya repeated, nodding slowly to herself.
The three residents reached the double doors leading to the operating rooms, pausing slowly and peering around the corridor, checking for any noise or movement from a gun carrying sociopath.
Cristina shuddered. "It's creepy quiet down here."
"He's down here." April whispered, tugging both of their shoulders closer to her, her nails digging into both of their upper arms.
"No, he's not down here." Cristina replied, firmly, walking slowly to the OR Teddy and Owen were meant to be in.
Aliya stayed silent, trying to mentally steady herself as she wondered what would happen if he was down here.
She would probably be shot, and left to bleed out, like Andy did. She was shot, and she bled out. Maybe Aliya was destined to the same fate as her.
She quickly stopped that thought, not wanting to entertain it.
Everything will be fine.
Once they get Derek into the OR with Teddy and Owen, they'll be fine.
"Oh God, he's down here and he's gonna come out and shoot us." April began to hyperventilate, tugging at both of their arms until Cristina pulled away from her, pushing her back so her grip loosened from both of her fellow residents, and she let go from both of their arms.
"Will you shut up?" Cristina snapped, turning around fiercely. "You are freaking me out! And, I have no time to be freaked out right now. Mer is a mess. Derek is a mess. You are a mess. Aliya's here, and I am in charge and I say that no one is down here!"
"Exactly. We are going to be fine." Aliya nodded in reassurance, believing Cristina right until April screamed, her hands flying up to her head as she dropped to the ground in reaction to the door behind the three opening suddenly.
Aliya's own sanity leaped out of her, and Cristina gripped hold of her shoulder, tugging her down with her and hauling her entire body over hers.
It seemed Cristina actually did like her at the end of the day, seeing as she was acting like a human shield.
"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" April screamed, her hands balled to her ears as she tried to block out all of her senses one by one.
"You are not supposed to be walking around!" Jackson's voice hissed sharply, stepping out in front of them.
Aliya released a breath at the sound of his voice, her eyes set on his dark grey sneakers he was wearing this morning, when he was handing her a cup of coffee.
"Damn it, Jackson." Cristina muttered, rising from the floor.
Aliya pressed a hand to her chest, trying to steady her heart as the nausea and unsteadiness set in her, even more than before. She rose slowly, turning towards Jackson.
He looked back at her, relief washing over him, until he saw her scrubs. His green eyes widened almost immediately, his hands reaching out to her shoulders, as if to steady her.
Jackson's eyes scanned in worry from her stained hands, and the blood stain on her forehead, to the front of her scrubs that were more burgundy than their usual light blue.
Cristina rushed past them, zipping into the OR behind and scanning around.
"Whose blood is that?" The Avery man questioned, his eyes rapidly tracing her. "Are you okay?"
His hands moved down to her elbows, meeting the cold of her skin, the warmth of his hands bringing her some comfort. Her head dipped to the ground and she repeated what she said to Cristina.
"It's not mine." She dodged his second question, only answering the first, not able to say her name.
"Where are they?" Cristina questioned, reappearing after checking the ER. She looked at Jackson in worry, in a way that April and Aliya seemed to understand. There was no Teddy or Owen.
Jackson scrunched his face in confusion. "Who?" His hands dropped from Aliya's arms.
"Teddy and Owen." Aliya answered, falsely calm at the same time as Cristina exclaimed.
"Altman! Hunt!" Cristina scanned Jackson's face urgently, knowing what it would mean if they weren't here anymore.
"They left." He spoke the words the three of them dreaded.
Cristina's face dropped, trying to find the words which could make this situation better.
"Oh, God." Aliya murmured, pressing a hand to her forehead.
A long moment passed.
Cristina and Aliya exchanged a look.
"You know what?" Cristina broke the quiet, bursting out in pure panic. "Someone just shot Derek! He's got a GSW to the chest and he needs surgery right this second! Tell me there's an attending on the floor!"
He pursed his lips, his eyes frozen directly at Cristina. "April. In the OR behind me there are two OR nurses and an anaesthesiologist. Get them. Tell them to set up for a cardiac procedure." He ordered, April pulling a confused expression.
"What? Why? If we don't have a surgeon, what are we going to do?" April asked while she took began to panic, looking for the unspoken words occurring between Jackson, Aliya and Cristina.
"We have a surgeon." Jackson stated.
April shook her head, quickly. "What? Who's gonna operate on Dr. Shepherd?"
Cristina sighed heavily, frowning as she realised what she was going to have to do. "I am."
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"Do you feel anything? Can you see where the blood's coming from?" Jackson questioned, peering into Derek's open chest where Cristina's hands were trying to find the source of the blood.
After some convincing, Cristina let Aliya help with the surgery whilst April and Meredith waited in the scrub room where Mer wouldn't be able to interfere.
Aliya wanted, no needed, to help them. She refused to sit patiently waiting, her mind left to spiral that would predictably drive Aliya insane.
She needed a distraction, and though operating on her friend's husband, her mentor and housemate wasn't the best distraction, it was all the only one that was available to her.
"Not yet." Cristina muttered through her concentration. "You know what, I can't see anything. Give me some suction."
Jackson complied, reaching in to suction away the blood whilst Aliya held the clamps, helping Cristina find the source of the bleeder.
Cristina turned her head away, using only her touch to try and find the source. "Oh no, oh no. It's right by the aorta." She turned in mild panic towards Jackson and Aliya who were positioned across from her.
"You can do this." Jackson assured.
"I know that." She snapped, half at Jackson's attempt to make her fell calmer, but mostly at Gary Clarke for what he had done. "I just wanted it to be easy. Not the hardest freaking repair in the history of the world."
She sighed, pausing before turning her head up, her eyes darting back and forth between the other two residents.
"I don't know what to do."
"You do, okay? What do you know?" Aliya replied, trying to help Cristina focus as much as she could.
"There's massive bleeding in the lungs." She started, feeling around more. "There is a bullet lodged right next to the aorta, and a huge hematoma."
"Right. Okay, that's great." Aliya's head bobbed up and down, taking in Cristina's observations. Jackson raised a brow at the two, and he was in complete confusion about how the pair could stay as calm as they seemingly were. "What would Teddy do? Graft or clamp and sew?"
"Graft or clamp and sew?" Cristina mirrored.
Jackson thought for a moment. "I think she'd—"
"Pig or cow." Cristina mumbled to herself, repeating those three words over and over like it was some sort of witch chant.
"What?" Jackson scrunched his nose, shooting a glance at Aliya as if she had some sort of understanding on what was happening.
"I think it might me a metaphor." Aliya observed, carefully watching Cristina in the hopes that Derek's chance of survival stays as high as possible.
Even though Aliya could potentially be able to cope in Cristina's shoes, even she would be forced to admit Cristina was Derek's best chance.
Aliya resented Cardio because of her mother. She didn't jump at the opportunity to be on the cardio service like Cristina. However, Aliya did know her way around a heart — in the end, she did read those cardio articles her mother sent her, she may be a grudge holding daughter, but she was a surgeon first.
"Pig or Cow, Cristina? Pig or Cow." Cristina mumbled even more. "Clamp and sew. Definitely clamp and sew. Give me a clamp." Cristina's eyes snapped open, jumping into action as she received the clamp from Bohkee.
Jackson watched as Cristina mirrored Teddy's surgical skills perfectly. "Badass."
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Meredith didn't want to wait in that room.
She needed, to be in that room with Derek.
Even though she trusted Cristina and Aliya with her life, Derek was her soulmate. She needed to make sure he would be okay. Every bone in her body wanted to move, just to take a peek but she stayed, staring into space as she listened to April's heavy breathing.
That was until Owen Hunt pushed open the scrub room door, his eyes reaching hers before anywhere else.
"Owen! Thank god! Derek's been shot! No one was down here—" His eyes flickered up to the scrub room window, his insides squirming with anxiety, Meredith's chatter becoming barely a whisper to him as all he could concentrate on was the sight before him. "We didn't know what to do! Cristina's in there, told me not to look! But she might need help!"
Owen looked back to Meredith before moving further into the room, his hand brushing the sink.
"She seems to be doing ok." He commented, lying through his teeth as the situation he just looked back on was definitely the furthest from okay.
Meredith just watched him, scanning his face for a delivery of any sort of hope.
"But I'll just head in there and see what I can do." Owen reached for a mask, moving to the automatic doors.
Meredith watched in suspicion. "But you're not scrubbing in?" He paused and turned back to her, fiddling with the mask in his hand.
"I'll assess first. If she needs me, then I'll scrub in." He replied. "Cristina was right. You should stay down there, okay? Don't move." He added, ensuring Meredith stayed on the floor.
He left just before offering her a semi-reassuring smile that failed to do anything for his own nerves.
"A real surgeon is here. That's good. That means Derek's going to be ok." April consoled an unconvinced Meredith who just rolled her eyes.
As Owen entered the OR, the gun was immediately aimed towards his direction. "Oh, oh, oh— Just calm down! Calm down." He removed the mask from his face, placing a hand in front of him in a gesture as if that could stop Mr Clarke. "Tell me what the problem is."
"Owen— Owen—" Cristina spoke through tears, the clanking of metal tools and the gurgling of suction acting as background noise in an already loud room.
But, Aliya wasn't fully convinced the room was loud, maybe it was just her own perception, her blood had been pumping obnoxiously loud for the past few minutes since Gary Clarke made a frantic entrance in the room, her hands stilled on the tools in either hand.
The gun moved back to Cristina's head.
"Hold on! Talk to me!" Owen's voice raised, moving forward as he watched Cristina work, scrambling to save his life.
Gary ignored Owen, the gun still resting in the space in front of Cristina's temple.
"Stop fixing him. Let him die. Let him lie there and die." He spat, his mouth in a frown as he urged Cristina to stop. "Do you want me to shoot you?"
He gritted his teeth, shaking the gun by Cristina's head.
"STOP FIXING HIM!" Gary shouted even louder, and Cristina started to cry harder, her breaths escaping as small screams.
Aliya too flinched at Mr Clarke's screams, her eyes slamming shut at the voice of the man that took Andy from her. The man who ended her life was right in front of her, and she couldn't say anything.
Her mouth was dry, her hands were still but her whole body felt like she was trembling.
Beside her, Jackson widened his eyes in shock at the gun, he too unable to move, unable to speak, his eyes were stuck on the metal weapon, unaware of what it did to his friends.
His hand was holding onto the suction, and in the corner of his eyes he saw Aliya's gloved hand clench around the clamp in her left hand.
He reached his own gloved pinkie out, only by a stolen fraction so it brushed Aliya's hand. It was enough contact so she could feel it. It was enough. It was more than enough when his shoulder met hers.
"No." Cristina replied, her voice so strained through the tears that it was barely audible.
"Cristina—" Owen called out, watching carefully.
"No." Cristina spoke through sniffles. "Jackson, clamp the hilum, so we can control the hemorrhage so I can get visualisation." She finished breathlessly.
"Don't you dare." The gun cut through the air, past Aliya, in the direction to Jackson's head. Aliya's eyes flickered from the shooter, to Cristina's hands, then to Bohkee.
She reached her hand slowly out, just slow enough behind Jackson so the shooter wouldn't be able to see.
"Clamp the hilum so I can see!" Cristina's voice rose in panic, her head dipped down as she still continued to work quickly despite the gun aiming back and forth between everyone in the room.
Bohkee quickly placed a clamp in Aliya's outstretched freehand just as Owen edged forward, taking the shooters attention away for a split second as Aliya hand flew back to Derek's open chest.
"You stay back." The shooter warned, aiming his gun back to Owen, giving Aliya enough to time clamp the hilum, covertly. "You stay back."
"Owen, I can't stop! I have to—" Cristina spoke frantically, the gun returning back to the side of her head.
"I know! Just keep going. Keep going." Owen urged, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he tried to quickly figure a way he could diffuse the impossible situation. Why wasn't she saying anything?
"You stop or I will shoot you." He spat at Cristina, pressing the gun to her skin, forcefully.
"Hey! Hey!" Owen yelled, stepping forward with gritted teeth. "That's the woman I love. If you shoot her, touch her, I will kill you!"
"And, I said stay back!" Gary Clarke shook the gun in Owen's direction.
It was only then Aliya realised he wasn't shaking that thing on purpose. The metal clattering was his trembling hand that was holding the gun.
"Maybe I should shoot you first. I shoot you and then I shoot her and then I shoot Shepherd. Is that what you want?" The sweat on Gary Clarke's cheeks gave it away too.
This pure evil man was shaking right in front of them.
Showing all the signs he was scared, even after he's killed all those people, but Aliya failed to believe he was experiencing that emotion.
How could a man running around the hospital shooting people be scared?
"I didn't come here for this. My wife is dead. He's responsible. I came here for justice. And eye for an eye. The only person I want in this room is Shepherd. Now back off! And you step away from that table." The gun returned back to Cristina's head as everything clicked into place, a convenient time for Aliya to experience an epiphany.
Aliya guessed that her self hatred for staying silent broke as she finally spoke. "What was your wife's name?"
Gary lowered his brows, his eyes narrowing as he heard Aliya's question but failed to interpret. "What?"
The gun stayed at Cristina's head, but she continued to work. Aliya didn't care that she had to be a distraction. Cristina needed to work.
"What was her name?" Aliya repeated, her eyes burning into his piercing blue ones.
"Why do you care, huh? All of you surgeons are children who shouldn't be trusted with lives! You shouldn't be given that power!" He spat, his lip curling up.
"That's a half- true observation." Aliya decided to humour him, even though she didn't even agree fully with his statement.
The shaking of his hand intensified, his face configuring into an attempt to stop himself from showing any real human emotion. "Her name was Allison."
"Allison. That's a pretty name." She smiled under her scrub mask, just so that her eyes would lighten just a little bit.
In front of her, Cristina reached to grab a tool from Aliya, freeing one of her hands. She noticed Jackson shoulder was still pressed to hers, offering more comfort for her to continue.
"I don't want to sound like a know it all or that I personally knew you or your wife, but would Allison want you to be doing this right now?"
Gary Clarke simply scoffed, the scoff catching in his throat as his head shook. "That's right you don't know what she was like. How dare you tell me what she would want!" The gun pulled away from Cristina's head, exactly as Aliya wanted, now positioned towards Aliya's skull.
She breathed. Nothing. Nothing flashed before her eyes.
"Okay." She breathed, her eyes staring down the barrel of a gun. "I may not have been on your wife's case, but ask yourself, would she want this? You're making innocent people experience the pain you felt, is that really justice?" Aliya interrogated, searching for a reaction in Gary.
Gary's expression faltered.
"To me, it looks a hell of a lot like being a murderer." She added mistakenly, but she couldn't stop it. It rolled easily off of her tongue like a perfect 'I love you'.
Mr Clarke charged towards Aliya, positioned next to where Derek's head lay, aiming the gun at her temple, the hard, cold metal of the gun meeting her skin, cooling it as quickly as a brain freeze from the chocolate milkshakes she drank with Trent on her birthday.
Jackson took a sharp inhale that reminded her of the one she drew when her mother snapped at her for the first time.
His eyes darted over to where Aliya was now being held with a gun to her head, her hand still wrapped around the clamp on the hilum.
"Aliya—" The Avery man whispered in shock, and her hand gripped the clamp even more as if it were a paint brush and she was painting onto an empty canvas, blood red acrylic dripping down, ruining the intricate strokes of greens and blues.
"Now—" He turned to Cristina, who was looking up at Aliya in a panic Aliya herself didn't see as her eyes were staring at the blue cover that hid Derek's face, the gun stabilising her head in that particular position. "Stop fixing him, or I will shoot her."
"Cristina, don't stop." Aliya countered, her voice calm, watching her hands stopped momentarily, but continue straight after.
The suction gushed, Alex's obnoxious coffee slurping ringing in her ears as they laughed at anything with toothy grins like evil twins.
"I said stop!" Gary's voice caught in his throat.
Aliya turned her head, the gun pushing across to brush her ear slightly, the cold of metal reminding her of the piercing she got in high school with Summer and Mae, Aliya's hidden by strategically placed hairstyles, theirs exposed with shiny diamonds and intricate hoops.
"Do you know how many lives you ruined today? It wasn't just your own." Aliya told him.
"Stop!" Gary snapped.
"Aliya!"
"Cristina, don't—"
"Shoot me."
What?
All pairs of eyes flickered over to the door way that clicked open just moments ago, that now had Meredith Grey stood in the door way.
Cristina gasped. "Meredith—"
"You want justice, right?" Meredith questioned, her voice clear and strong. "Your wife died. I know what happened. Derek told me the story."
The gun was still on Aliya's temple but Gary's attention wasn't on her. It was on Meredith. And so was Aliya's.
"Lexie Grey was the one who pulled the plug on your wife, she's my sister. Dr. Webber? He was your wife's doctor. I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter." Tears fell down her cheeks, causing the light to catch on them, her voice catching because of it. "And the man on the table. I'm his wife. If you wanna hurt them, the way that you hurt, shoot me. I'm your eye for an eye."
"Meredith."
The cold moved away as it aimed at Meredith. Gary moved away as he returned to his positioned next to Cristina, as if trying to perfect his aim.
"You tell Derek that I love him and I'm sorry."
"Meredith—" Cristina pleaded, turning away from Derek's surgery to focus on her person.
Aliya didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she could say to stop the bullet escaping at full speed into Meredith's body, but Cristina did.
"Wait! Wait! She's pregnant! You wouldn't shoot a woman who's pregnant! Please."
A pause.
A footstep.
A quick gunshot.
"No! No! No!" Cristian screamed as Owen dropped to the floor, blood pouring out of his shoulder in a crimson shade of red.
"Oh my god." Aliya spluttered, her hands beginning to shake for real this time. The gunshot ricocheting through her as the tears fell.
The gun oddly sounded different than the one that killed Andy.
She couldn't place her finger on why, just that it simply sounded completely different.
That gunshot replayed in her scared heartbeat, the tapping of shoes on the floor, the door that clicked on its hinge.
"Aliya!" Jackson whispered, turning her attention to him as he nudged past her shoulder, reaching over her, his hands snaking under the blue cover, tugging the wires out of the sensors.
Aliya widened her eyes, his plan suddenly making sense as she helped tug the one furthest away from him.
"Raise your hands!" He instructed, pulling the sheet down hide the dangling wires. His hands shot up in the air.
Cristina looked back towards the two. "W-What?"
"Trust me, raise your hands! He's going to shoot again, raise your hands!"
"I'm stopping! I'm stopping!" Cristina's hands darted up just after Aliya's. The three of them all faces Gary, all their blood soaked gloved hands raised above their heads.
"No!" Meredith called out, her eyes darting to the monitor to watch for any change.
"See? I've stopped!"
"Listen to me." Jackson snapped. Gary's head turned to him as Jackson explained."In a few seconds, his heart is going to pump blood to in his chest and stop beating. You'll see it on the monitor. Just wait. Wait for it. Watch the monitor and wait for it!"
Gary complied, looking towards the monitor.
"Please don't stop! No, no—" Mer's hand flew to her chest as she sobbed uncontrollably. "No! Derek! No, no."
"Shut up!" Jackson shouted in an attempt to save his plan, the monitor starting to flatline with a drawn out noise.
"No!" Meredith wailed, her hand tightening over her scrubs, the other hand placed on her stomach. "No! No!"
"See? It's over." Meredith silenced all of a sudden at Cristina's words. "It's over. He's dead."
Meredith dropped to the floor, sobs escaping from her as her trembling body hunched over itself on the floor. "Derek!"
A tear fled down Aliya's cheek, dampening her mask. She watched in caution as the shooter was still standing there, watching Meredith cry, watching the monitor flatline. And, without even a visible reaction, the shooter left the room.
As soon as the door stopped swinging, Jackson and Aliya fished for the wires, placing them back on the sensors on Derek's chest. "Give me a 4-9 pledgeted suture. Jackson, give me his vitals."
He looked at the monitor. "Got a pulse of 128. BP's cycling."
"Mer? Is Owen dead?" Cristina questioned Mer, who was still on the floor. The blonde's jaw dropped in shock at the fact Derek wasn't dead. He wasn't gone and it wasn't over. "Dr. Grey! Is Owen dead?"
Meredith crawled across the floor whilst the three worked on saving Derek, their hands working across each other as if they were synchronised. "He's alive! He's alive. He's unconscious, but he's alive!"
Cristina breathed in relief. "Take Owen to the OR across the way and take that bullet out. Get April to help."
"Cristina—"
"I can't talk right now. I'm trying to save your guy now please go try and save mine." Cristina urged, making Mer nod to herself as she snapped back into reality, the automatic door clicking open as she disappeared to retrieve April.
As the doors shut behind her, Cristina met Jackson's eyes. "Remind me to thank you later."
"I will." He promised.
Jackson then glanced over at Aliya, still in disbelief of the events of the past ten minutes. How they nearly died. How she nearly died. He placed his shoulder closer to her again.
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Aliya emerged from the hospital, surrounded by the oddly cool June air, the ambulance's pulling up, the police cars and all the sirens creating a scene around her, it was hard not to be overwhelmed by it all.
She took a deep breath in, the exhaustion eating away at her as she released that breath.
She didn't know what to do. She was out. She made it out alive and Derek was on his way to Seattle Pres, alive, with Meredith and Cristina.
She didn't know what happened with anyone else.
She guessed that's what happened next, to make sure that more people she loved were still alive.
She watched as patients were being removed from the hospital, bodies on gurney's with blankets pulled over their faces. And Aliya couldn't help but wonder if one of those bodies were Andy.
She didn't know whether it was a mixture of shock or sadness as to why her response to the chaos around was to start uncontrollably laughing.
"Hey, Aliya!" Jackson called after her, jogging to catch her up.
He stopped short in front of her, and she had to cram her teeth onto her lip, biting down in an attempt to stop herself from laughing further, or crying even more as her vision became slightly blurred.
"Hey." She managed to say back, her tooth still biting down on her lip.
"You're laughing? Why are you laughing?" Jackson watched her as her hands flew to her face, and she doubled over, her shoulders rattling from the thousand different emotions passing through her.
However, the laughter quickly turned into a few tears, burning down her cheeks. "I think I'm in a tiny bit of shock."
Jackson moved forward towards her, pulling her up to wrap his arms around her, holding her close as if he were scared that if he let go, she would be gone for good.
The hug shocked Aliya, but she returned it anyway, her hands reaching up around his neck as she placed her head on his shoulder.
"I'm glad you're alive." He murmured into her hair, closing his owen eyes shut as tears rushed out of his eyes.
Just moments before, he found out from April after Derek's surgery about Reed, and he was recently told that Charles was dead also by Dr. Bailey, who was there with him.
Jackson had guessed he was still slightly in shock from it all too. He was unable to comprehend that Charles was gone.
One minute they were playing darts with the other Mercy Westers at Joe's, and now he was on his way to a morgue.
What would he do with his apartment? Their apartment. He couldn't stay there. There was no way he would stay there. He would have to move.
"I'm glad you're alive too." The brunette returned the favour.
"Charles died." He whispered into her hair, more to himself than to her.
Aliya tightened her grip around his shoulders. "I'm so sorry." She whispered back, rubbing his back with her palm.
That's when the thought hit her at the most inappropriate time possible.
Charles was Jackson's best friend. It was awful that he died, but Aliya couldn't help but think about her own. About Alex.
And, pulling away made her feel even worse as Jackson's glassy green eyes stared back at her. He seemed to notice the shift in her, understanding exactly what she needed to find out.
"Alex?" Jackson asked, knowing that the two of them appeared to be attached at the hip twenty four seven.
Aliya to quickly nodded her head. "I need to find him." She pulled out her phone, ready to hit speed dial.
"Aliya," Jackson spoke, softly. "He was shot."
"What?" The brunette's heart thrashed in her chest.
"I heard from Dr. Bailey he was shot. He's stable. He's at Seattle Pres." Jackson informed, and Aliya's hand flew to her chest as she took a deep breath, relieved he was stable, but terrified all the same.
She didn't know where to go.
To the hospital to visit Alex? To Andy's house to get her dog? To her own house where she knew it would be empty? Lexie would be with Alex right now, Meredith and Derek would be at Seattle Pres too, and she would be alone in the house.
"You know," Aliya blinked back her tears. "One minute we were drinking coffee and now they people we care about are dead. How did that happen?"
Before he even had a chance to reply, April ran out of the hospital doors, running instantly to him.
"I— I heard about Charles!" She crashed into Jackson, bursting into tears. He hugged her back, comforting her by patting her gently on the shoulder.
Aliya gave him a short nod.
They both had no obligation to wait for one another. They both lost someone they cared about and they coped in different ways. Jackson nodded back, Aliya's signal to go to every single one of the three places she could possibly go in that moment.
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If eight year old Aliya was imagining her life at twenty eight years old, she would hope that she would live in a quaint house with old bricks, flowers and ivy growing up the side, maybe even some wisteria.
She would have an open planned kitchen filled with clutter, a sofa with as many throw pillows so there was just enough room to fit inbetween them, with a fluffy dog bed beside her.
A dining table with ideally six chairs beside a bay window looking out onto an open garden with every type of flower and plant. A breakfast bar with one of those old stereos, and maybe a record player in the corner with a vinyl stand, filled with all kinds of music for every single occasion.
Most eight year olds don't usually imagine their houses, but when she was sat in the hospital flicking through architectural digest, it made her tiny brain imagine her future house.
Eight year old Aliya would not imagine twenty eight year old Aliya to be gripping keys nervously in her hand as she made her way up the uneven, practically a safety hazard, steps to a bungalow to pick up a dog.
Aliya decided the dog couldn't wait after visiting Alex in the hospital. That was the first out of the three possible locations she went. He wasn't awake yet, but she sat by his bedside for four hours until eight o'clock in the evening.
Young Aliya was no fortune teller, but at least she got the dog part right, but why would her brain be fogged with images of guns and blood and cries.
Why had Andy been on that floor? She wasn't meant to be on that floor.
Why hadn't Aliya tried to pull her back more?
Why wasn't it her?
Aliya's stomach dropped to the floor as she paused in front of the door, a thousand thoughts stumbling into her brain as she began to violently shake in panic. She didn't belong here. She wasn't meant to be picking up Andy's dog today. Not today, not ever.
"Snap out of it." Aliya whispered to herself, shaking her body to rid herself of the mental images.
She brought the key up to the lock and opened the door, stepping through and shutting the door behind her.
The lived in house, full of memories and pictures on the wall of the life Andy lived, was dark. The lights were all switched off. Only the small tapping of feet bundled could be heard, and a large golden haired dog ran down the hall, jumping up at Aliya with happiness in his eyes.
She fell to the ground as she let the dog snuggle into her neck, stroking the dog's coat as she began to cry relentlessly into its fur.
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—✩—
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It was ten o'clock when she finally reached the third place she could go. Home.
Aliya only had one dog in her life, and that was for only a few weeks until Izzie and George wanted him gone. She didn't know much about dogs, but she guessed the dog padding along beside her was already well trained.
She climbed up the steps to her house, a bag of dog toys and treats across her shoulder. She held her keys in her hand, finding her house keys until she noticed a pair of shoes in front of her. Her eyes were still red as they scanned upwards to Jackson stood tall in front of her.
He tilted his head, looking at the animal beside her, sceptically.
"You have a dog?" He spoke in surprise.
"I have a dog." She confirmed with a short nod of her head, both of their eyes on the golden retriever.
After a moment of silence he opened his mouth to speak. "I— I didn't have anywhere else to go. April went to Ohio to visit her family. My apartment— well, Charles and I shared it and I— um— I don't want to go back there." He shoved his hands nervously into his pockets. "I can just go—"
"Do you want some coffee?" Aliya offered, passing him on the porch to bring the key to the lock. He nodded, taking the dog lead and bag off of her so she could open the door easier.
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( notes! )
eff you gary clarke. eff you.
rip andrea burman, the seattle grace cinnamon roll 💔💔🤧
rewatching this episode made me remember how stressed i was when i watched it for the first time
but on another note aliya has acquired a dog!! and everyone loves golden retrievers who are not yet named. but she also has acquired a bucket load of ✨trauma✨ i mean she watched her surrogate mother/nurse bestie die (in her arms might i add) and had a gun aimed at her head :/ and that's all in a days work.
but on the plus side bring on season 7!! (and jaliya hehe)
( word count! — 7,200 )