❛ YOU PROMISED. ❜
06. I Wanna Stay
SEASON 01 EPISODE 06
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Once the door was closed, they stay closed, it was what the scientist had said to us when a few words had traveled between him and Rick. It repeated itself multiple times in my head, trying to find something wrong with the sentence because nothing about this place had screamed trustworthy.
It lingered— even when he lead us through the building, bringing us underground and into a room filled with computers. I watched the doctor closely, following every movement, trying to find anything about him that seemed off. I let it echo and soon it took over my entire mind, something about this whole thing seemed strange and it made me want to run right back outside and that my chances with the walkers.
The doctor told us that he'd have to draw blood from us, just to make sure that we weren't infected or sick in anyway. Most of us believed him— excluding me— and we let the man stick needles into our arms.
I was hesitant knowing my history with needles, they weren't something I had grown accustomed to or had even liked. I hated needles with everything in my heart, even if the pain was just a few short seconds. I made Glenn hold my hand— just like my mother used to do— all the way through, even when it was finished I didn't let go.
"Kendall." Glenn voiced, trying to take his hand from mine. "I need you to let go now and open your eyes."
"Sorry." I say sheepishly, feeling my cheeks burn of embarrassment. I released the right grip I had on his hand, standing from the seat and standing beside Carl.
"What's the point?" Andrea asks, the needle pulling blood from her veins. "If we were infected, we'd all be running a fever."
"I've already broken every rule in the book letting you in here." The doctor says. "Let me just at least be thorough. All done." He says, taking the needle out of her skin and pulling a small container of her blood along with it. The blonde woman stands, standing frozen for a moment after swaying. "Are you okay?" Jenner questions with concern.
"She hasn't eaten in days." Jacqui answered for her. "None of us have."
The statement itself seemed to pique his interest. The doctor basically rushed through the others, a hard and saddened look on his face. I furrowed my brows at the man; not one word slipping pass his lips in the next six to nine minutes of needles poking into the groups skin. I watched him carefully, a thoughtful expression stuck on his face— even when he had finished.
The doctor told us to grab our things and when we did, he was the quickest one out of the door. It was silent as we followed him but soon it turned into laughs and chatter— soon we all sat around a large table with food and drinks sitting in front of us.
I ate silently, nibbling on my food as if I was already full; it wasn't the case, I just didn't want to finish too quickly. I was sat beside Glenn, a short grin falling on his lips when he looked down at me.
"You know, in Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner." Dale says, chuckling lightly and pouring some wine for Lori. "And in France."
"Well, uh, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then." Lori countered.
"What's it gonna hurt? Come on." Rick laughs, looking down at his son before looking at his wife. "Come on." The two stare at one another before breaking out into chuckles, the group following with laughs— excluding me, who was incredibly interested.
Dale pours the young boy some wine, handing it to him almost hesitantly. "There you are, young lad." Everyone watched as he tipped the cup toward his mouth, taking a light sip before setting it down.
"Eww."
"That's my boy." Lori pushes the cup away from him, patting and circling her palm around his back afterwards. "That's my boy."
"Well, just stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane says, staring down at the table.
"Not you, Glenn." Daryl calls him out, causing the man to let out a confused chuckle.
"What?"
"Keep drinking, little man. I want to see how red your face can get." Daryl teases.
And just like that, the moment was ruined; the laughs and chatter had died down along with the smiles that were worn on our faces. As Rick thanks the doctor for saving us, for giving a sliver of a chance, his best friend, Shane ruined the moment. It was completely shattered with one question, a question about what had happened to the lab and how he had ended up alone.
I slid my headphones back on, hoping no one would notice. I watched as their lips moved but nothing was heard, it was all drowned out by the sound of music. I finished my food slowly, observing the tense air and my eyes following everyone as they stood from their seats. I frowned a bit, dropping my fork gently while standing and following them.
"Most of the facility is powered down including housing, so you'll have to make do here." Jenner explains, leading us down a severely narrow hall. "The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like. There's a rec room down the hall that your kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games, okay?" He leaned down, making sure that the tree of us understood. We nodded along with him and I clutched my cassette player. "Or anything that draws power. The same applies— if you shower go east on the hot water."
"Hot water?" Glenn echoed with a smile.
"That's what the man said."
A shower. A hot shower, one that was much needed after everything we have been through. I don't think any of us wasted a moment, all of us searching for a room. I made sure my room was closest to Glenn's, it felt much safer that way. I dropped my bag, taking my headphones off as I shut the door behind me. It was quiet, as soon as the door was shut, I heard nothing and it was something I had enjoyed at the moment.
I crossed my arms over myself, letting the hot water cascade down my body. I tilt my chin up, allowing my face and hair to get soaked. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would; yes it was nice and it felt good to be clean again but something about all of this made me very wary. It didn't seem genuine or authentic, I couldn't put my finger on it.
It was a quick shower, in and out before I could let any thought seep into my mind. Although, I wish it could've been longer, I didn't want to use up all the hot water with just one shower; I also wanted to scrounge around. I had dressed myself in the clothes I stole from the store and let the room in search of anything interesting.
It was a little late, my shower ran a bit longer than everyone else's and by the time I had gotten dressed it was time for bed— well for the other kids, not me. I reached the recreational room, the one that hopefully had different genres of books to chose from.
The sound of arguing had ruined that for me; at first it sounded like a regular type of fight but when the sound of muffled screaming followed, I had no choice but to open the doors. I stare wide-eyed at the scene in front of me; a crying Lori and an angry Shane— who bumped by me and slammed his fist into the wall. The brunette left not too longer after him, ignoring me in the process.
I frowned looking over at the bookshelf, shaking my head trying to ignore what happened just a few seconds ago. I didn't have my music with me at the moment so the thoughts of what he was capable of doing to her— to any of us had crept into my mind. I tried to mask my terror and my worry with a book, or anything that would distract me but all I could see and hear was the brunette crying and screaming.
"Kendall?" A voice called out for me, their head peeking out from the door. "Are you sleepy?"
"No.." I hummed, setting the book down on the coffee table. "Are you?"
"No." Carl replies, sitting beside me on the couch. It was silence for a moment, the sound of a clock ticking filling the tense air. "Remember at the camp when we were telling stories, you never told yours..." He breathed, looking down at his hands.
"I don't have anything to tell." I sigh, crossing my legs. "I didn't have any friends."
"You didn't?"
"No." I shrunk, shrugging lightly. "Well, Jamie was my friend— my nanny."
It was unnatural for me to have someone who'd listen so clearly, to have a conversation that would make me feel so much better afterwards. We were children but tonight we were talking to one another like adults, it was fun and it entertained me. I laughed, talked, and smiled more that I have ever done— especially since the death of my very small family.
I appreciated his company; before today I never realized how much I needed it.
It was an hour later when we began to get a bit tired; we were making each other yawn tears glossing over our eyes as we did so. We didn't have the energy to walk back to our rooms, so we decided to sleep on the couch— on the opposite ends of course but it was flipped when we woke up. Our arms were wrapped around one another, basically bear hugging as we snored into each others necks.
The sound of hushed whispers and laughs made us wake up; a deep embarrassed blushed covered his freckled cheeks and I did nothing but scoff and stand. I didn't have enough sleep to deal with the jokes they were spewing at me, so instead I followed the rest of the group back to the table— where we had dinner— to have breakfast.
I paid no mind to anyone, just nibbling on my food as I always did. I heard the chatter but never paid attention to what they were saying. It felt normal to sit around a table and eat breakfast with the people you were surviving with— almost normal. My interest did pique when Shane came into the room, a tense air falling between the two adults and me, the one who halfway witnessed what happened.
"What the hell happened to you?" T-Dog asks the man, looking down at the nail marks that were stretched across his neck. "Your neck?"
"I must have done it in my sleep?" His lame excuse made me scoff and the two eyes, that knew what happened, fell upon me.
"Never seen you do that before." Rick says, almost unbelieving.
"Me neither." Shane breathes. "Not like me at all."
"I don't know." I spoke, waving my fork near my lips before looking up at him. "It seems like something you'd do." I shot back with a hint of malice.
A silence fell upon me and I welcomed it easily, continuing to eat my food while paying no mind to the group at all. It became upsetting and silent when the doctor arrived— not even moments after everyone had followed him away. A frown made its way onto my lips as I reached for the drinks that were just a bit too far away from my side of the table.
I could almost hear their voices echo through the halls, almost. I just didn't want to leave the table until my food was finished— until I was ready to follow the group into the room with the doctor. I didn't like his company and I didn't like their company when he was around.
"Kendall!" I basically jumped from my seat when Glenn's voice shouted for me. "I need you to grab your things and get to the lab."
"Um, why?" I ask dumbly.
"Just do it." He hissed, voice stern before running by me.
"What the hell is happening?" I whisper to myself, shaking my head softly before standing from my seat and heading back to the bedroom.
I took a moment to myself, sitting on the semi-soft bed while clutching my gifted necklace in my hands tightly. I felt the air shut off and moments later the lights went along with it; the sounds of shouting and mumbled disagreements. I swallowed a sob, following the sound of disgruntled voices into the lab.
Everyone seemed to be on edge, seemed to be panicking and I had no idea why. I guessed it had to do something with the clock that counted down in an eerily manner. I let my eyes scan over everyone's faces, a different expression worn on each so it was hard to understand what was going on. In a moment of confusion I let my body shuffle closer to Glenn's— a sense of safety filling me.
"The world runs of fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?" Jenner says, pointing to nothing in particular.
"Let me tell you som—" Shane growls, ready to pounce on the man.
"To hell with it, Shane." Rick grabs his friends arm. "I don't even care. Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here now!"
I tightened the hold on my bag straps and my necklace in fear— the sound of an alarm almost making me piss myself. I sent a glance over to Glenn, a frown deepening on my lips when I noticed his expression was just as fearful as mine.
"Thirty minutes to decontamination." A robotic voice announce, the timer now shown on the larger screen. Less than thirty minutes.
"Everybody, y'all heard Rick. Get y'all stuff and let's go! Go now! Go!" Shane shouts, waving his hands around.
The doctor had locked us in. He trapped us inside the lab with him and shut the doors with something stronger than anything I have ever seen. A panicked and confused expression was spread across everyone's faces— even mine.
"Did you just lock us in?" Glenn questions breathily. "He just locked us in!"
I had quietly given up while sitting on the floor under one of the computer stations. I pulled my knees to my chest watching as people scream and try to attack the doctor. I was just watching and listening, no point in trying to put on my music because being apart of something that was much more drastic was entertaining— entertainment was needed before my death.
"There's no point. Everything topside is locked down." Jenner says, barely looking away from his computer. "The emergency exits are sealed."
"Well, open the damn things." Dale says, standing tall from his spot with wide eyes.
"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that."
We did. We heard him say it but the rest of us just let it slip pass our minds. I knew something was iffy about it.
"It's better this way."
"What is?" Rick asks, looking up at the clock before locking eyes with the scientist. "What happens in twenty eight minutes?"
Shane and Rick sent each other a glance when the man something nothing. A hand slamming against one of the tables had caught his attention, a glare on each of their faces.
"What happens in twenty eight minutes?" Rick questions again, this time louder and sterner.
"You know what this place is?!" Jenner shouts. "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" The man sat down, trying to regain just a bit of decorum he had left as he wiped his lips. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure— in a terrorist attack, for example— HIT's are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."
"HIT's?"
"Vi, define."
"HIT's—" The robotic voice starts. "High-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between five thousand and six thousand degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."
"We're gonna blow up." I whisper, tightening my hold around my knees. "No pain, quick death."
"An end to sorrow, grief... regret. Everything."
The air got tenser, if it was possible, the sound of glass smashing against the wall, metal touching metal, the group wanted to get out— at least try to survive. The time on the clock just got lower and lower and the more time I sat in here, the less fearful I had gotten on the inevitable.
"you should've left well enough alone." Jenner spoke. "It would've been so much easier."
"Easier for who?" Lori questioned with anger, with malice.
"All of you. You know what's other there— a short, brutal life and an agonizing death. Your— Your sister— what's her name?" He asks Andrea, pointing at the blonde.
"Amy."
"Amy." He echoed, his eyes shifting onto my figure. "And your nanny— your mom?"
"Jamie and Kassandra." I mumbled, never looking up from my knees.
"You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that really what you want for your wife and son?" The doctor looked up from us, a deep frown falling on Ricks lips at the question.
"I don't want this."
"Can't make a dent." Shane heaved, leaning against the desk.
"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher."
"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl shouts, lunging for the man with an axe and swinging. The redneck was stopped by three men; two grabbing his by his middle and the other grabbing the end of the weapon.
"Just back up! Back up!"
"You do want this." Jenner stood. "Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."
"What?" Shane tilted his head at his best friend. "You really said that? After all your big talk?"
"I had to keep hope alive didn't I?" Rick asks back, the group looking at him with shock and fury.
"There is no hope." Jenner finalized. "There never was."
"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe no here, but somebody somewhere—"
"What part of everything is gone do you not understand?" Andrea piqued from her spot.
"Listen to your friend. She gets it." Jenner nodded. "This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event."
"This isn't right." Carol cried. "You can't just keep us here."
"One tiny moment— a millisecond. No pain."
"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this."
"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"
"Shane, no!" Rick shouts, the sound of gun clicking echoing through the large room as Shane approached the doctor with his shotgun.
"Out of the way, Rick! Stay out of my way! Open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off. Do you hear me?!"
"He wants to die, Shane, you think threatening his life is going to save ours?" I ask but the question just bounced from everyone's ears, not one person listening to what I had to say.
"He dies, we all—" Rick was speaking but Shane cut him off with a bloodcurdling scream, the man redirecting his gun. "we all die! Shane!"
The man let off rounds, shooting anything in sight— everything that was close enough to make the scientist lose his hearing. Electricity falling from the ceiling, computers died with holes in the middle of them. Rick took the gun from Shane, slamming the butt of the gun into the man's head. He stood over his partner, ready to hit him again but he hesitated.
"Are you done now? Are you done?"
"Yeah, I guess we all are."
"I think you're lying." Rick voiced after a long pause of silence, searching around and looking at everyone's expressions.
"What?" Jenners tone was soft and confused.
"You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the east way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It doesn't matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?"
"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise. To her." Jenner points to the big screen, everyone knowing what he meant but me. "My wife."
"Test subject nineteen was your wife?" Lori asks.
"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just... Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me."
"Your wife didn't have a choice. You do that's— that's all we want— a choice, a chance."
"Let us keep trying as long as we can." Lori added, shaking her head.
"I told you topside's locked down. I can't open those." He says, walking away. Jenner pressed his identification against a pad, typing in a few numbers and in a matter of seconds the door came down.
I stayed in my spot, shaking with fear and adrenaline. I wasn't going to change my mind, this was what I wanted. It was the easy way out and there was nothing to live for anymore. I stood, rushing over to the young boy with freckles before handing him my bag, taking off my walkman and headphones— handing him that too.
"I— I'm staying. I'm sorry." I whisper, a bile rising in my throat. "I'm so sorry." I repeat, this time my eyes shifting to the man above him, a mixture of confusion and anger ridden in his eyes.
"Kendall—"
"I'm staying." Glenn didn't like what I was saying and to him I was jumping on his last nerves. The man pushed the boy into his mothers arms before picking me up and pulling me over his shoulder. "Stop! No! It's my decision. I don't want to die!"
"You're not gonna die. As long as I'm around, you're not gonna die." Glenn sat me down, placing his hands on my shoulders.
"Glenn, everyone I love is dead."
"I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere."
It was no use. As soon as we got to the top floor, we were as good as dead. Nothing was going to break the glass, not a chair, axe, a gun. A grenade will, though, the grenade Carol found in Ricks pocket broke the glass. It made the heavy material shatter to pieces, the explosion causing my ears to burn— to ring.
I took my bag from Carl's hands, running behind Glenn as they shot and slashed through walkers. As soon as we got in the van, I held my hand out, waiting for the boy to put my music in my hands. Instead, he hugged me, placing his head into my neck as he cried softly.
"I just want my music, Carl."
"Thank you." He says as the adults pushed us into a little corner to keep us away from the explosion.
The van shook along with the explosion, it was huge and fiery. Just a millisecond and they were gone. A shocked and terrified look etched on Carl and I's face, before we looked over at each other.
This time I pulled him into a hug.
"Thank you for not dying." Carl whispered into my curls, his arms tightening around me.