I startle myself awake, trapped in the snare of a nightmare. The rattle of the cell bars, and my rapid, panicked breathing echo off the cast iron walls. Darkness and hunger. No sign of day or night.
Sweat drips from my nose, dribbling into my mouth as I gasp. The world around me shifts and stretches as I throw the heavy blankets from my body and stumble into the bathroom, cranking cold water from the faucet. A sliver of moonlight slices into the room quells my racing heart. My fingers flinch as the water bites into my skin. But it tethers me to reality as I sink into the tub, sitting there until shivers rattle through my body. When I step out and slip pants and tunic on, I realise the clock only reads 4 am. But I cannot sleep any longer. Not when the claws and fangs of nightmares loom over me, taunting and teasing. My stomach aches with hunger, too.
I traipse to the door, expecting it to be locked. But it opens with a click. Raising my brows, I step out of the bedroom and pad, barefooted, down the marble hallway. I navigate my way through the east wing of the palace. Swathed in silence, only illuminated by the odd candle mounted to the wall. I pray to the Gods no one will see me. My stomach rumbles in mockery.
I hasten down a set of stairs, into the servant's wing. Crashing into the kitchen, and reaching for the matches, I circle the room, lighting the candles to chase away the shadows. A shriek spills from my mouth when the light splashes onto a figure. Clothed in black and cloaked in darkness, Ruben hunches over the table in the middle of the kitchen, munching a slice of bread.
"Elle!" Then he chokes, coughing and whacking his chest until his eyes water.
"What the hell are you doing?" I ask, crossing my arms and tapping my foot.
He inclines his head to the bread. "I'm eating. What does it look like?"
I quirk a brow. "At four in the morning?"
He bristles, those green eyes darting to the window, where the moon kisses the clouds in the distant sky. "Yes. My meal schedule is a little... inconsistent."
"What does that mean?"
"None of your business." He takes another bite, chews, and swallows. "What about you?"
I chew the inside of my cheek. "I had a nightmare. Then I woke up and realised my reality was worse."
He smirks and his eyes are bright, almost feline, sharp, and calculating. "It can't be that bad. Besides, it appears someone has a message for you. He asked me to pass it on to you this morning. But your presence is... perfectly timed, Elle."
I angle my head. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."
He brushes the breadcrumbs from his lap. "Come on, Elle. Who delivers fresh produce to the palace at an ungodly hour?"
"Elle," a voice hisses.
I turn my head on instinct, my heart racing at the all-too-familiar voice. I widen my eyes at Ruben in disbelief. "Are you playing a cruel joke? Can I see him?"
"Of course, Elle. He said you two are best friends." He leans back in his chair and winks. "As I said once, I'm not a monster."
The owner of the voice remains hidden behind the kitchen door. With a giggle bubbling in my throat, I slip out into the night. Aston clings to the shadows like a vampire hiding from the sun. Brows pulled together; jaw tightened. He doesn't say a word, motioning for me to follow. I throw Ruben a look over my shoulder, running my fingers over my throat. He nods in understanding, pretending to zip his mouth shut and throw away the key. I bite my lip and follow Aston. His sandy blond hair catches in the moonlight, bouncing up and down. We skulk into the shadowed corner of a small garden, surrounded by hedges. Their leaves glimmer dark green in the ghostly light like fish scales. A low breeze raises the hair on my skin and rustles the leaves like chattering hyenas.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper.
Instead, he grabs me, yanking me into a hug. Tears unexpectedly spring to my eyes as his eyes tighten around me. Safe and sound. Warm and earthy. He smells of the forest and the farms. "Is he unkind to you?"
"The king? He would rather see me in the jaws of the shadowteeth outside the walls before anything else."
His eyes flash with fear. "What about the prince?"
I blow out my cheeks. Lyra must have filled him in on the prince's Tranq duties. "He is a jerk. But I don't think he wishes me dead. I'm a pawn in his own game, too."
"Don't let your guard down, Elle. Do not trust him for a minute." He glances out of the nook as if expecting Ruben to pop out and drag us into the prisons.
"I won't."
He nods, leaning against the wall and folding his arms across his chest, thin but strong despite the famine. His face becomes stone, other than the flicker of terror crossing his eyes. I feel it crackling under my skin and resist the urge to fidget. "What is it, Aston? Is Lyra hurt?"
His Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. "No. She's okay," he says. "Look, Elle. Things aren't going so great across the river."
"Spit it out," I snap, panic stirring my pulse.
"The Convex people are standing up to the Tranqs, Elle."
His words knock the wind from my lungs, and I place my hand on the marble behind me. "How?"
"Some of them are getting brave. Famine and starvation drive them to stupid desperation. One man confronted a Tranq who hurt an old lady. Another group looted a Tranq headquarters of their uniform and weapons."
I close my eyes, grimacing. My stomach aches.
"I am sure you can guess how they paid for their crimes."
Sharp teeth and no soul. Insanity.
My entire body goes numb and a scream swirls through my mind. No. A thousand screams. The cries of all the dead beyond the walls. "Why are they doing this? They know they're risking their heads!" A crack slips into my words but
He chews his lip and heaves a sigh. "They do not know you killed the Tranq. But I think some farmers know you've been hiding something from the Tranqs. What with them seeing you wander past the fields almost every day."
Gossip is a powerful weapon.
"Are you saying I inspired them?" I ask, a coppery tang spreading across my tongue. What have I done? What have I done?
He shrugs. "I doubt you have so much power. But if you could get away with defying the Tranqs, who is to stop them?"
"I don't want to inspire them to get themselves killed," I say through gritted teeth.
"You cannot control what other people do, Elle. Besides, it's just my theory. The famine is enough of a drive. But they will have many reasons. Many of them have nothing else to lose besides their heads, anyway."
"I don't want anyone to get hurt," I say meekly, dropping my head.
He places his fingers under my chin, forcing my face up. "Starvation will hurt them. Tranqs will hurt him. Monsters outside the kingdom will kill them."
I nod, feeling foolish. "You are right."
"Our people are finally doing something. Finally, they are showing courage. It's only the beginning. We were born in his world. We will die in our own, Elle. Mark my words."
I catch his promise in my chest, soaking in the warmth. Letting the flicker of hope wash over me.
"How is Lyra?"
"She's okay. I'm taking care of her the best I can. I also understand the prince did, too."
A sigh. "He's trying to help in his own insufferable way."
Aston shakes his head but pulls me into another crushing hug and my tears stain his shirt. Gods, why am I crying so much?
"I'll find you again, Elle," he says, nodding as if trying to convince himself.
"I want to go home," I blurt out, voice cracking. "I fear them changing me here."
Aston shifts his weight and brushes a piece of straw from his threadbare pants. His eyes soften and he reaches out, tucking a loose curl behind my ears and I want to sob. "Eat the food, Elle. Gather your strength. We will find a way out of this soon. All of us."
Aston disappears into the shadows and the wind as if the very elements flow through his bones; as if he speaks the language. When he's gone, hollowness caves into my chest. Aching. Alone. I'm so alone. My knees shake and I fight the urge to collapse into the garden and weep.
"Is he your lover?" a voice pipes up from around the corner. Heat cascades up my neck and into my face.
"Piss off, Ruben." I stalk past his smirking face, slamming into his shoulder.
"Cannot be too good a lover if he didn't rescue you," he says with a drawl, following me back into the palace kitchen. He lets out a dry chuckle.
"Ew." I grimace. "I am going to bed. Good night, Your Highness."
"I heard he told you about the uprisings," he says, rendering me still.
"Insufferable bastard," I snap, whirling around. His green eyes glint in the moonlight, so beautiful it makes me dizzy. But the frown on his face, pretending he could care about the Convex people, drives me to sheer frustration. I want to slap him. "Listening to us, were you? Were you ever going to tell me about the Convex leading themselves to their deaths?"
He clenches his jaw, pursing his lips. He inclines his head deeper into the garden, pressing his finger to his lips. I glare at him, but lumber after him. A slight wisp of wind curls around my limbs, drawing the hairs up. We slip into a narrow path, hidden by walls flanked by hewn hedges, dotted with white flowers. The leaves chatter together, sharing stories of the night between the spirits. Finally, Ruben stops. His chest heaves and he leans against the hedge gently, propping a heel up. He gazes at me, clearly expecting me to
"How did you know?" I hiss, resisting the urge to squirm. Ruben's tall, broad figure swallows the path, towering above my short, petite figure. His furrowed brows and demanding eyes are close... too close.
"At dinner with my father last night. He was discussing it with the other high-ranking Tranqs."
"What is going to happen to them?" I brace myself for the answer as the guilt unleashes its temper within my gut.
He holds my star for several long, reverberating beats. There is a war behind those eyes. "It's about to get violent for your people, Elle."
My stomach aches with such intensity that bile oozes up my throat. "What can I do?"
A muscle twitches in his nose. "You can get to sleep for the last few hours until dawn." A blend of despair and home laces his voice, like fire burning through snow. "Let Larissa make you all pretty, and let the king announce our marriage to the kingdom."
I ball my fists, fear gnawing at my gut. A lifetime of the kingdom snaring me within its trap. Of sitting idly by while the Convex people starve year after year. Of sharing a bed with the prince. A shudder ripples through me.
"Be prepared. You're a Tranq now. So, your duties may include things that will go against your morals."
"What does that mean?" My voice croaks and my hand flies to my chest, feeling the thump, thump, thump against my palm.
He turns and stalks back through the hidden path, into a clearing, into the garden, past the sculptures, and into the kitchen. I blaze after him.
"Cool. Ignore me," I snap.
He whirls around. "I can't give you details because I have none. It's up to the king. He will tell us. Goodnight, Elle."
Ruben flees the garden, into the kitchen, and disappears into the hallway. "Bastard," I say, marching after him.
"I heard that, Elle!" he calls, letting out a low laugh that warms my blood despite myself.
I groan, storming out of the kitchen, and to bed. Sleep is merciful and quick, but not long enough. A flurry of chattering women barging into the room wakes me with a start. They literally drag me out of bed and strip me of my nightgown. Larissa trails in, an amused smirk on her face as she watches. I wince and groan as the girls drag me into the bathroom.
"Gosh, Elle. You look like wagons have run you over." She says with a giggle.
"Gee, thanks. I did only just wake up." I roll my eyes as the ladies hustle me into the steaming tub. They scrub me raw until my skin and hair smell floral.
Someone hands me a freshly baked pastry as they towel me dry and sling a robe over my exposed body. Before I know it, the ladies help me into a glorious red gown, style my hair, tying half of the curls up. They polish my face with powder and rakes an inky pigment onto my lashes. Light brown flecks my brows. Larissa pushes me in front of the mirror, grinning. A gasp falls from my lips. There is a stranger in the mirror. She is fierce and demands attention. Nothing to reflect on the frightened girl beneath the glamour.
"Whatever King Talin wants with you today, make him afraid," Larissa says, her voice forged from the essence and spirit of a lion learning her roar.
I turn to the ladies, now flocked together like swans. Smiles and fearful hearts. "Thank you," I say.
"He's waiting," Larissa says, angling her head to the door.
"The king?"
"No, silly. Prince Talin."
I grimace, rolling my eyes. Ruben prowls into the room without knocking or waiting for permission. He draws to an abrupt halt when his gaze falls on me. My cheeks burst into flames as he takes in my appearance, piece by piece, biting his lip. He nods. I scold my body for being far too reactive to his mere presence. As if any man deserves such power.
"I am sure the king and his men will approve," he says, clearing his throat.
The girls behind me are practically in a frenzy of hormones. I glare at him. "Incessant bastard."
Rippling with the night and the stars, he wears a simple black suit. He is only spotted in silver cufflinks and a silver necklace draping down his chest, disappearing behind the fabric. His forest eyes catch alight in the streaming sunlight. Ruben is so beautiful it makes me weak in the knees. Too bad I hate him. He smirks, holding out his hand. He is smug, having revelled in me staring a moment too long.
I click my tongue and groan, accepting his hand. He pulls me to his side, sauntering out of the bedroom and into the corridor. My heart careens from beat to beat as my blood heats. His body is warm against mine. He smells of the forest too and the citrus scent of lemon.
"You look like the sun itself, Elle," he murmurs.
My insides stir and I mutter a curse beneath my breath. "Why don't you wear something more colourful, like the Concave men in town?" I ask as we round a corner. "I think you're not as dark as you want people to believe."
He breathes a laugh. "Do you think I'm dark?"
"You pretend you don't care. Like you're afraid of feeling things too deeply."
His shoulders are tense as he glances at me. "I care. But I cannot save everyone. I must be numb to the king's cruelties. Not unless I want to lose my final tether to sanity. Not unless I want to lose myself completely to the darkness of it all."
"But then nothing changes," I say, swallowing the bubble of frustration. "Compliance fosters oppression and cruelty."
His grip on my arm tightens. He opens his mouth to say something but stops for the rumble of an ever-stretching crowd beyond the palace walls. My heart thunders and my mouth dries up. Ruben huffs.
"Time to introduce the Concaves to the sun," he says.