It had taken Keira a long time to collect herself enough to drag herself up from the floor and wipe the dried tears off her face. Her eyes were still bloodshot, and her cheeks stung, but she couldn't care less.
With the black hoodie on her, she had pulled the collar over her nose so she could keep breathing in Wanda's scent.
What first had caused her to break down, was now the only reason why she found the strength to walk down the corridors and into the room where Tony lay.
Pepper, who was sitting by his bedside with a book in her lap, looked up when the door opened. "Hey." The strawberry blonde said softly as she readjusted her seat and closed the book. She didn't miss the mutant's red eyes nor puffy cheeks, but she made no comment about it, but rather patted the chair beside her.
"Hey." Keira greeted just as softly when she crossed the threshold and walked around the bed to sit beside Pepper. Looking at Tony, she couldn't help but feel at a loss. The man she had grown to know was always confident beyond belief, and now, when he lay here, he just looked broken and frail. "How is he?"
Pepper didn't have to be a mind reader to see the dangerous edge that Keira was balancing on. And despite not having had too many interactions with the blonde, she gently put an arm around the mutant's shoulder and pulled her close. "He'll be okay, thank god. Give him some rest and he'll be back to his normal self."
"Yeah. Don't think the world would've kept on spinning without Tony Stark in it." Keira chuckled silently and didn't protest but let herself be dragged into Pepper's grasp. Leaning her head against the older woman's shoulder, she released a shaky sigh.
"What about you? Natasha filled me in on the details..."
Keira closed her eyes briefly as her bottom lip slipped between her teeth. "Honestly? I don't know. Sure, I'm alive and breathing. But with everything that's happened... I'm not sure how to keep going without the one person who gave my life meaning." She sighed, letting her gaze fall to the floor.
"I know it may seem impossible right now, but you keep on living. Some days, you might just be surviving, but you keep going. For her. Wanda wouldn't want you to stop living just because she's gone. She was your world, and still is, which is why you keep fighting. And with every passing day, the burden will get a little bit easier to carry."
"But what is grief, if not love persevering?" Keira whispered while tugging at her sleeves. The line that Vision had so wisely spoken so many years ago had stuck with her, and she couldn't believe that it had taken her this long to realize that it wasn't all sorrow.
Her love was the reason why it hurt so much.
Pepper hugged the blonde closer while nodding. "Exactly." She didn't know what more to say but merely let the silence fall over them. And when tears silently started to trickle down Keira's face, she gently wiped them away.
Keira swallowed hard and closed her eyes. Normally, she would've been embarrassed by the fact that she was crying in the presence of someone that was relatively new to her, but now, she didn't care. No, instead, she just let the tears fall as she leaned her head against Pepper's shoulder, and she felt her affection for the woman grow.
Their meetings before this had been pretty brief, considering that Pepper had a company to run, and being Tony's partner wasn't exactly the calmest thing in the world. But still, Pepper had heard stories about the mutant from Tony, and her own first impression of the blonde hadn't been bad either.
But it was a bit comical how a sad occasion like this could bring them together. Because judging by the things Pepper had heard, Keira wasn't the most open person in the world, so to see the mutant crying, she knew it was a rarity.
Keira didn't move from her spot, but merely buried her face deeper against Pepper's shoulder. And they sat like that for a long time, the older woman consoling the mutant in silence.
"Hey, disco ball. You look horrible."
Keira whipped her head up and couldn't help the relieved smile that broke out on her face at Tony's comment. In unison with Pepper, she helped to fluff the pillows up so that Tony could push himself up into a sitting position. "Look who's talking." She replied, shaking her head faintly.
When Pepper grasped his hand, Keira had to swallow hard to not let the tears start streaming again. It was another reminder of something she would never get to do ever again.
"Hey, I still look better than you." Tony made a move to swat playfully at her shoulder, but his strength didn't let him quite reach her.
Pepper shot him a worried look. "Try not to overexcite yourself, Tony. You still need to rest."
The man sighed and sunk back into the pillows. "I've rested enough to last me ten lifetimes." He muttered as he let his gaze fall on Pepper, and he still couldn't believe that she was still here. Had he lost both her and Peter... He didn't know what he would've done. Which was why he turned his gaze to Keira instead. "You're gonna be okay, kid."
"That's what everybody keeps saying." Keira shook her head sadly, and again, started to tug at her sleeves, a habit she had picked up from Wanda. "But I really don't see how anybody will be okay after all of this."
The silent conversation Tony and Pepper were having turned into background noise as Keira got stuck in her own head, contemplating everything between heaven and earth.
She hadn't left the compound once, considering that the wounds on her back had still been healing, but she had been following the news closely while trying to distract herself.
Not being allowed to train, or to physically tire out her body had been tough, because if her body wasn't tired, then her head got a lot harder to deal with as well.
But seeing all the chaos and sadness that was happening outside the fences, caused her to appreciate the little things she had left. At least she had someone left. Some people were left completely alone, and yet, she dared complain about her situation.
But even if she knew that there were people who had it worse, did that mean that she wasn't entitled to feeling like she did?
A hand on her shoulder startled her so badly that she flinched, and in reflex, raised both her fists. When Pepper's face came into focus, however, she lowered her hands and released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "W- What?" She asked shakily, her eyes jumping between Pepper and Tony.
"I was asking how come you're not out in space right now." Tony was smiling weakly and reached out a hand.
Even in her daze, Keira managed to grasp his hand and clutched it tight. "I tried a stupid move against Thanos, and it backfired, quite literally." When Tony only raised an uncomprehending eyebrow, she continued. "That purple grape destroyed my sword, so I thought that if I encased the shards in diamond and shot them at him, I could at least cause him some damage. Unfortunately, he used the space stone so instead of piercing his back, they pierced mine." Taking a deep breath, she ignored the tingling feeling that traveled across the scars on her back. "And let's just say that they both hurt and healed like a bitch."
Tony's mouth fell slightly open, and a disbelieving chuckle left his lips. "Well, that certainly explains why you're on house arrest. Something tells me you didn't stay behind willingly though." It sounded like the fight on Earth had matched the one on Titan pretty equally, but with the clear exception of less magic.
"Well, when a Russian ex-assassin tells you to stay put, you stay put, regardless of if you want to or not." Keira shrugged her shoulders and mustered a weak smile. "And don't give me that look, Tony. We both know that Tasha scares you more than she scares me."
"Okay, okay, that's fair." Tony put up his hands in surrender, noticing how Pepper was smiling warmly at the interaction between the two of them. "Know where the future will take you?"
Keira opened her mouth to answer, but she shut it when a rumble could be heard, and the ground began to shake slightly. Knowing exactly what this meant, she shot up from her chair and sprinted out of the room, through the corridors, and out into the open field. Her lungs burned and she had to rest her hands on her knees to try and regain some well-needed air.
The spaceship hadn't even gotten time to land, and the force from the thrusters blew the leaves into a tornado. As the ramp lowered itself to the ground to reveal her disheveled friends, Keira's heart stopped.
The result of the mission was etched on their faces, and it wasn't a good one.
Steve's posture was hunched as he trailed down the steps with his head bowed. Without saying anything, he momentarily stopped beside Keira to squeeze her shoulder before continuing to walk.
It was the same story with the rest of the team. No smiles could be seen, nor any jokes could be heard. It took every ounce of strength Keira had not to turn around and leave at that very moment.
But her gaze had found Natasha, who was lingering in the back of the spaceship, and without hesitation, Keira crossed the lawn and stepped into the ship.
Natasha looked beyond disappointed with herself, and she couldn't keep her hands steady, so instead, she kept them clenched into fists by her side. But the moment Keira reached out to touch her, it was as if the dam overflowed. Her knees buckled and she would've fallen to the ground if Keira hadn't caught her.
"Hey, hey, you're okay." Keira shushed gently, cradling Natasha's head against her chest. At this moment, she pushed her own feelings aside and instead focused on comforting her best friend.
Natasha shook her head faintly, hiccupping slightly between the sobs as she held the mutant as close as possible. "I- I'm sorry." She was grateful that the rest of the team had already gotten out of the ship, so nobody got to see her this vulnerable. While the promise she had made Keira before had been a fake one, she still deeply regretted that she had been unable to fulfill it.
"Hey, none of that, Tasha. Don't apologize." Keira didn't want to hear any excuses. There was one person they could blame for all this, and that was Thanos. No one else. And it didn't matter why they had failed. "I know you did the best you could, and that's more than enough for me."
Ever since they had gotten the report that Thanos had used the Stones again, Keira had already guessed what had happened.
Thanos might've been a maniac, but he wasn't power-hungry. And with his life mission done, what other purpose could the Stones have served him except temptation? Because with the Stones, the universe lay waiting for conquering.
She guessed that was the reason why the team returned home empty-handed.
❆
It truly was a tragedy to witness what was the scattered remainders of the Avengers. While the team stayed together for a couple of days, it was clear that they wouldn't remain united.
And Keira could say that even without hearing their thoughts.
They just wandered through the compound like transparent ghosts, barely speaking to one another. None of them could even muster a smile, and you could cut the tension with a knife.
It was clear that they were all just waiting for the first one to split from the group, so the rest of them could do it too with a clear conscience.
And Keira seriously started to doubt if she wouldn't be the first to break.
Everything in the compound kept reminding her of Wanda. Kept reminding her of the person she would never get to see again. It wasn't unusual for her to hear Wanda's angelic laughter echo in her ears, only to turn around and be faced with an empty room.
Or feel a featherlight touch on her arm, only to realize that there was nobody there except her own imagination. Keira missed Wanda more than she ever thought was humanely possible.
And Keira didn't know for how much longer she would be able to stand it. She needed to get away, to cut herself off from everything that was hurting.
That was exactly why she was up long after midnight, sitting on her bed with a half-packed duffel bag beside her. Frustrated, she ran her hands over her face. It wasn't like her to just give up like this, but she didn't know what else to do.
Pushing herself off the bed, she shook her head sadly while stuffing the last couple of clothing items into the bag. She shouldered her bow with a sigh and dragged the zipper shut before picking up the bag. To avoid crashing into someone in the dark corridors, she let her mind do the work for her and let her know if someone was up and walking.
And while there were quite a few people awake, none of them were wandering the halls. Which was why she could breathe in the night air without fear of being seen when she finally reached the outside. Keira didn't know where she would go, but it didn't matter. She just needed to get away, so she started walking.
Drained of everything, she focused on putting one foot in front of the other. When she could barely see the compound in the distance behind her, she paused. "I'm sorry, Tasha." She mumbled, sighing deeply before starting to walk again.
And that was the last time any of the Avengers would see Keira Nowak for a long time.
~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Aaaand we've reached the end of the Infinity War era!
Keira is crushed and who knows where the road will take her?