Tonight is the night, I wake up thinking. I'm finally going to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, the soft touch of grass grazing my toes, and let cool air fill my lungs.
After two whole days and one sleepless night, I'm finally ready to make my meticulous plan become reality. Two whole days were spent in endless planning and trying to keep it from Daisy, who's always sneaking up on me at the worst moments. She has temporarily left Santa's pawn shop to be a Leprechaun.
I wish I was kidding about this.
The least they could have done was roomed me with someone on the softer side of crazy not a full on psycho.
I shrug it all away. Nothing can nor will ruin my mood, today.
I giddily chug down my breakfast, not even paying attention to its blandness. Then, with only a couple of scoops left, I get up to throw it away when I trip on my own two feet and the rest of my thick oatmeal splashes on a nurse's uniform.
"Oh my God," I cry, "I'm so sorry. It was an accident."
She looks at the mess sliding down her shirt. There's a big circle left in its place.
"It's fine," she replies. "It's just clothes. I was gonna have to go wash it either way."
"Can I help?" I offer. I don't even know the first thing about washing clothes.
"No, thanks. It's almost time for our morning exercises. Go, I'll take care of this," she mentions toward the mess on her shirt.
I walk out of the lunch room with unsteady steps and wait by the nearest bathroom. I go inside as soon as I see another girl gets in.
I wash my face with lukewarm water then dry it with the cheap rigid paper towel. My face feels like it's been rubbed with hot sand.
You'd think they would buy decent toiletry necessities with all the money they're extorting out of our families.
I look at myself into the large mirror facing me. I have definitely lost some weight since I came here. My collarbones are more prominent under my shirt. My cheekbones stand up in my face, pulling at the saggy skin under my red eyes. My skin has lost its glow. Instead of its usual splendid caramel latte tone, it has taken the appearance of new formed mud made with the crappy red dirt of a baseball field.
A flush comes from the occupied stall behind me before the brunette I came in with appears out of it.
I smile sweetly at her. The muscles are stiff. It feels so unnatural to be smiling at a complete stranger. The girl blushes a deep shade of pink before returning my smile.
Crazy people are weird.
"Do you want to play a game with me?" I ask her with no preambles.
She casts me a look that says she thinks I lost my marbles, "Here? Now?"
"Yes, it'll be fun. I promised."
"I don't supposed I can get rid of you without saying yes," she states with a defeated sigh. "What is it then?"
"Let's play dress up," my eyes spark up in excitement.
Slow down, Rachel. You might as well be on your way to crazy town.
"Dress up as what exactly?" she gives me a skeptical look while washing her hands.
"Each other," I giggle.
"You really have been drinking the kool aid, haven't you?" she dries her hands on her jacket, not bothering to reach for the paper towels.
I bite the inside of my mouth to keep myself from throwing up. I can't believe I'll have to wear that if my plan works.
"Fine," she says, "It's not like anything exciting ever happens in this place anyway."
"Yay!" I clap my hands. "Now, we have to act like the other person for the rest of the day without telling anyone."
"Yay, how exciting," she replies with sarcasm. "I'll get to act like I'm actually happy for the rest of the day. Good thing I like a challenge."
Is she me? Or is she ME?
It doesn't take long to exchange outfits. Since all of us wear pretty much the same clothes, we only had to change shoes and jackets. Hers is a little snug on me.
"Great, we'll reverse at breakfast tomorrow."
She touches my jacket as if it's a jewel. "No, I like this. I think I'll keep it."
My lips hurt from the unusual amount of smiling, "I'm glad you like it." Good thing it's not mine.
"Wait, one more thing," I say when she's preparing to live. "You forgot...Our hats!" I laughs.
I pull out two leprechaun's hat that was lying on top of Daisy's bed this morning. She won't miss them. The girl has a dozen in a cardboard box under her bed.
"I'm not wearing that," she exclaims.
"You have to," I pout. "It's all part of the game."
"Hell no, I don't want to walk around looking like an idiot all day.
"But...but...you said you'd play with me," I initiate the water works. Crying for no reason always get the other person uncomfortable.
"Shut up, just shut up. There's no way I'm wearing that stupid hat."
My sobs morph into full on crying.
"Fine," she snatches one hat out of my hands. She hurries out.
With my head down, I walk out of the bathroom. While only our black hair is showing, it will confuse anyone trying to find out which one is which.
Deep breath, just keep taking deep breath in.
I stand behind a wall across the lunchroom to calm myself down before the nurse with the dirty shirt walks pass me. Right on time. With feather-like steps, I follow her around. The nurses' locker room is way in the back of the establishment. There's a shortcut, I've learned it while roaming around yesterday. I wonder why she prefers the long way.
Better for me.
I arrive by the locker room before her so I take my station by the door. When she appears, I pull the piece of cardboard I tear out of the plate at breakfast and slide it in between the door before it locks completely.
I follow her inside. I quickly lose track of her as she makes her through the lockers until one slams shut. I swiftly move in the opposite side of her and bang loudly on the lockers.
"Is someone out here?" She calls. "Brenda, is that you?"
I bang one last time before rushing to her locker. And there it is, right there on the bench. While the nurse is looking at the other side, I snatch her ID and hide behind the locker. I can feel the rush of danger going through me.
This is a very stupid plan. If only I was a better pickpocket.
I've never done anything like this in my entire life. Petty theft, yes, but only from my family and friends. Never anyone that could send me to jail if caught.
I let out such a heavy breath when I'm out of the room. I'm never doing anything like this again.
"You're not even halfway done," Kenny reminds me.
Oh yeah, I might pass out due to lack of air before I can execute the entire plan to get out of here.
"Next phase is not going to do itself, Rachel."
Why couldn't she have been in front of me so I could choke her to death?
"I can hear you."
"Focus," Sarah orders.
The second phase, which is to convince everyone that I'm sick and needs to be confined in my room, should be easy.
I get rid of the hat and jacket before slipping inside the athletic room without getting noticed by Nurse James. He's the one leading the exercises. I bend down to touch my toes just like everyone else but I don't come back up as he requests.
I begin to moan in pain, "Oww," I scream. Half of the class turn to look at me, the other half are in their own alternate reality.
I push my palms against my flat stomach, "Oh my God, it hurts."
"Rachel," I hear several voice calling.
I bite my lips, drawing blood then plunge my nail in the inside of my arms hard enough to bring tears to my eyes.
I sniff, "Cramps, a lot of cramps. I think I need to lie down."
"Honey, are you ok?"
"Do you need something?"
I try to get up then quickly bow down, "I need to lie down."
Nurse James grabs one of my arms with one hand and hold onto my back with the other. "I'm going to take her to her room," he says to the other nurse by him. "Can you take over Annabelle?"
"Yes, don't worry," she replies.
I cringe my teeth with each steps. Halfway to my room, my back is beginning to actually hurts me. I resist the urge to straighten myself up. I can't be feeling better so quickly.
Nurse James helps me lie down on my bed, under my cover. "Rest now."
"Can I have an aspirin?" I groan, "It really hurts."
"No can do. We're not allowed to give you pills unless they're in your files," he explains.
I roll myself into a ball. This acting thing is really easy. Maybe I should consider becoming an actress once I get out of here.
"What about sleeping pills? I haven't slept well in so long, please help me," I plead. The forced tears are already drying up.
"How about I go get one of the doctors to come see you?" he suggests.
"No," I cry. "It's just my period. I really need something."
"How about you rest for a while and if you're still not better in an hour, I'll check with my supervisor to find out if you're allowed to have pain medications?"
An hour seems like a reasonable amount of time for me to be out of here.
"Okay." I turn on my side, facing daisy's multicolored sheets and hats. That girl has really gone overboard with the personal items. I only have a couple of jackets, shoes, and Ms. Pickle which I leave away from prying eyes behind my bedside table.
I wait for a good five minutes after he's out before slipping my feet inside my navy blue moccasin shoes. I take a badly drawn map of the building out of my bedside table's drawer. Good thing that unlike other people, I can understand my own artistic work despite my shortcomings.
I grab the backpack waiting for me behind the door and head out. At this point the cameras don't matter. Nobody makes a fuss about a patient leaving the room in the middle of the day. In the closest bathroom, I change into the nurse's uniform I had stolen last night in the laundry room. It's not really stealing when they were not supposed to be in there in the first place.
Nurses aren't allowed to wash their clothes in our laundry machines. Unlike us, they do leave this place every day. I clip the ID I just gotten on my right side, hide the backpack behind the toilet, and leave with my face down.
With the help of my map, I reach the medicine room in no time. That was easy.
I slide the ID in the lock and watch the red light turns to green. I grasp the door handle and pull open. I walk into a narrow corridor which opens up to two ways.
Now what?
"The right one," Kenny says.
I continue into the left one.
"Not funny," she protests.
Another locked door is at the end of the hall. I unlock then open it. Instead of a room filled with bottles of pills, there are equipment.
"Can I help you, nurse..." an older woman behind a counter trails.
"Wrong room," I hurry out of the door.
"Told you," Kenny nags me.
Where's Sarah when I need her?
"Right here baby girl," Sarah greets me. "Just ignore Kenny. She means no harm. She doesn't know when to shut it. Kind of like you."
Behind the door in the hall at the right is where I find what I've been looking for. What am I looking for exactly? Behind the blonde in a white lab coat, there are rows of pills and syrups. How do I know which one is the sleeping pills?
"Hi," the lady smiles at me, "Are you new? I haven't seen you here before."
"Oh...Umm...umm..." I stutter.
"For God's sake just say yes," Kenny groans.
"Yes, I...umm...I'm new. I started yesterday."
"I could guess. I know the faces of pretty much everyone in here. But aren't you a little young to be already a LPN?"
"I have good genes," I lie.
She laughs wholeheartedly, "I wish I did too. I'm barely 25 but I look like I've lived a century already. I'm sure you're not here to listen about my skin decay. We'll have plenty of that later. How can I help you?"
"I need sleeping pills," I tell her.
She looks a little shock. Did I say something wrong? Wasn't I supposed to ask for it like this? Medical people always have the tendency to give everything a weird complicated name. Maybe there's another name for sleeping pills too, what is it?
"It's for the patient one in room 15," I add. Hopefully that patient does have sleeping pills in his files.
"You don't know the name of your own patient?" She asks but answers her own question before I have the chance to. "Of course you don't. You're new. Silly me, I fear my memory is already slipping away."
"Just sign in the chart," she gives me a pen and paper clips to a clipboard.
I do some incomprehensive signature on the far right of the chart and write a bunch of numbers where it's marked for dosage. Then, I give it back.
She takes a look at it. "Isn't 30 mg of Rozerem too much? I thought his files said 10mg?" She asks with her eyebrows brunch up.
"Oh right, it is. I'm sorry about that," my hands cramp up from grabbing on my scrubs too tightly.
"It's fine. We all make mistakes," she makes a few changes on the paper. "This will be our little secret."
I sigh silently when she turns around to get the pills. She hands me a small bottle with only two pills.
That's it? I wonder. This thing better work fast.
With a rush out thank you, I make my way toward freedom. In the way out, I walk pass by another nurse who attempts to slow me down to talk.I keep walking as if I don't hear anything.
I reach the entrance. There's the usual nurse sitting down in front of a computer screen. Her coffee mug is set by her side. With fake confidence, I walk behind the desk. I throw a furtive glance behind me. The guard is in his post.
My heart hasn't stop its high speed thumping since the sun had risen this morning.
"Hi," the nurse greets me without looking up from the screen.
"Hi," I answer while running through the folders on the desk. I open the cap on the bottle and the two small, white rounds fall into my palms. I cast a wary look around but nobody seems to notice me.
"What are you looking for?" she briefly turns her head.
"Patient 5's file," I respond.
"Patient 5?" Her typing halts.
I swallow.
"That's Kent Stork, right?"
"Yeah," I answer. My palm is sweating. My legs are shaking.
She giggles. "Did he have another Alien story to share?"
I breathe in and out.
The tablets fall in the cup without her notice. "Crazier than the last," I joke before practically running out of there.
I let myself fall down the bathroom floor with my head in between my legs. I think I'm going to die from the all of the adrenaline rush my body has just been subject through.
"How long do you think it's going to take?" Sarah asks.
"Hopefully not too long, we can't have anyone else knowing she's drugged before I can get out."
"What are you doing here then?" Kenny shouts. That girl does not know how to do normal talking.
"I think it takes more than a couple of minutes for it to kick in." I throw away the ID in the trash can. Then, I take a pen out of my pocket and start to doodle mindlessly on the plastic walls.
"Earth to Rachel," Kenny calls out after a while. I shake off my daze and take a look at what I just doodled. Brandon's name has pretty much taken over the wall by now. "It's time."
I stretch my legs and arms when I get up. My awkward position in the small space gave me a terrible cramp.
Across the bathroom, the nurse's fighting to keep her head upright. As I approach, she yawns in her hands and lies her head on the desk. I know she's knock out but nobody has noticed yet. I figure I have approximately one minute before somebody goes to her.
I go around her desk and open the same secret drawer I've seen them open multiple times while I've been here when a patient is being unmanageable. One of the syringes prickle my finger. I slip it under the sleeves of my shirt and walk to the guard.
"Hey," I smile at him.
"Can I help you?" he asks with a scowl on his face. With the tattoo of a dragon taking half of his face and a Vin Diesel-like voice, the man makes me almost pee my pants with just one look.
"Yes, I think there's something wrong with nurse Gramms."
His face muscles' stay unmoved, "I'm a security guard. You're the nurse so help her."
"I really need your help. I can't find anyone else. It'll only be a couple of seconds, I swear." I plead with him.
"Fine," he agrees but his heart is not in it. He walks away from the door with his back to me, "What do you want..."
I stab the syringe on his neck and empty the tube inside his flesh. In a matter of seconds, his body is on the floor. I grab his keys attached to his belt.
"Hey," somebody shouts as I run toward the entrance door. "Somebody stop her."
My clammy hands drop the keys on the floor. I snatch them back but there are just so many of them. I go with my gut and try the first key my eyes set on. I hear the click of the door at the same time that an alarm echoes inside. I make a break for it.
I pick the lock of the first car I see in the small parking lot in front of the building. I get inside the gray minivan and start it with the keys someone left inside the passenger's drawer.
Who the hell leave their keys inside of the car?
"Who cares?" Kenny says. "Step on it."
I drive off the property at lightning speed and slow down a couple of blocks away. Finally!