This skirt was too tight.
I just hadn't noticed until this moment. This moment, it seemed like the material was shrinking and that was making my hands sweaty. Right? Not because the scoreboard showed a tied number. Not because we only had two minutes left in the game. Not because we had the possibility of losing our winning streak tonight.
Hell, now my shirt was shrinking.
I didn't realize how much I actually enjoyed my school winning until now. We haven't lost a game since. . .damn my freshman year? That was how good we were. We were on a winning streak and our school took pride in that. Veer took pride in that. And with the way he was looking at the scoreboard and acting on the field? His eyes were dark, his fast strides along were sidelines were striking, and his hands were in tightly closed fists. I knew he was feeling a certain type of way.
Fuck. And these past couple days had been good for me. Real good. That little locker fiasco put me in a better mood and position with Veer. Two days ago, while I was coming out the locker room after a late night practice, Veer appeared beside me and offered to walk me to my dorm. I walked to my dorm by myself all the time during the night, but I accepted his offer because, stupid me, liked having him in my presence.
The walk was nice. It hadn't even been a very long walk because my dorm wasn't too far from the field, but it was still nice. Veer asked if Ty and Elle were still giving me a problem and I replied back no, happily. (Thank God he handled that.) He asked me how my day was going. He also asked me about my classes, which wasn't ever a topic we discussed before and I found myself excited to answer. He even suggested a player of his who did science tutoring on the side and offered to point me in his direction, once I informed with my struggles of the subject.
I found myself liking him helping me with my studies. Giving me new suggestions or offering to help me with things, outside of the bedroom.
Was there really a new Veer present? A more pleasant Veer? I didn't want to admit it, but it made my inside turn into gush. Real ushy gushy business had been occurring down there and probably wouldn't stop until he helped me fix the flooding problem.
Veer was changing. He was growing. He was showing me that he was truly sorrow for his actions from before. I liked it.
What I didn't like was what was showing on the scoreboard now. 50 to 53. 53 points was the score from the other team. Fuck. The timer went off and fuck, we lost. I watched, with defeated eyes, as the other side jumped up from their bleachers and started to chant their team name. My head turned and everyone on my side of the bleachers looked pissed. Every player on the field looked even worse; pissed, tired, and disappointed. It sucked not winning. But it wasn't the end of the world.
The look that was on Veer's face though? He looked like he lost his world. After the players shook hands, after things were called through the speakers, after post game rituals, everyone disbursed. Players went left and right, people went left and right, but as usual, the only person my eyes were completely zoomed in on was Veer. Veer speed-walking straight through the crowd then making a sharp turn left. Away from everyone.
Of course I followed. Veer was like a magnet. It was like gravity. It was my nature. Where he went, I wanted to go. I hoped this wouldn't turn out to be a bad decision.
I spotted Veer, sat on the floor, his back to the side of a building. His baseball cap was off his head, his head was hanging low and his posture was bent over. Looking completely defeated. Done with life. Lost in the numbers. Fuck, was this all because of one lost?
"Hey, you okay?" I asked quietly, as I carefully approached the man. Making sure that my movements weren't too loud or too forward. I didn't want to scare the man back into the closed off version of himself before.
His head didn't move from its low position. His eyes were still facing the ground and his posture didn't appear any less tense. He grunted back, "I'm fine, Sevyn."
"Are you really?" I could feel myself inching to make contact with with him. To touch him, to try to soothe him. There was now tension in my shoulders. I didn't like sad, disappointed Veer. I didn't want to see him like this. I crouched down and sat next to him on the floor, turning my worried eyes to him. "Hey, it's just one lost. I'm sure you'll redeem yourself and get them next time. Or possibly win against another team next week?"
I hoped that my speech sounded soothing. I wanted to make it seem clear that one game lost didn't mean he was a bad coach. Who in all of sports, in all of life, has won every one of their games? Losing can mean more improvement. It doesn't have to be the end of the world.
But shit. Hell. Fuck. I took another look at Veer out the corner of my eye and I watched, closely, as a tear escaped from out his eyes and rolled down his cheek. Is he crying? Shit. "Are you. . .crying?" Dumb question to ask, but I needed to make sure that this was happening. Speaking my thoughts out loud.
"It's not just about the game, Sevyn." Finally, his eyes remove from the ground, but they didn't land on me. His head advanced up and he stared at the stars. "My father was a football coach. . .before he passed. It was his life, it is my life. I just feel. . .it's stupid." He visibly shook his head, fighting a not visible battle. "I'm a grown man. I'm fine. Go back to the field, I'll join in a minute."
"Hey, it's not stupid to have emotions. It's obvious that the sport means a lot to you." His vulnerability was doing something to me. Making me a tad bolder. I grabbed the hand that was moving frantically on his head and conjoined our fingers in a tangled mess. His hand was very warm. "If you want to talk, I'm here for you."
He started to open up, started to talk, "I just. . .I just feel more connected to my dad when I win." He was still not looking at me while he spoke. His eyes are still connected to the stars. But his grip around my hand was unwavering and tightening the more and more he went on. "Stupid as it sounds, but I do. He's trained me back in my football playing days. He's supported me through so much when there was constant trouble at home and in my life. He worked three jobs to get me where I am today. I owe it to him to win every game. I just don't want to disappoint. I'm tired of people not believing I am worthy of more."
This time, I made him look at me. I moved my free hand to his chin and made him face me. "You are not a disappointment. Now it makes sense why you're extra extra hard on your boys." Makes total sense. "But how many games you win or lose; it doesn't define you. I bet you, a hundred percent, your dad would be amazed at the man you are today. You are an amazing coach, Veer. And an even better man."
I smiled after my little speech.
His lips lifted up a tad at their sides and I could count that as a smile. It was a smile. He was smiling at me! "Thank you, Sevyn." And his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes, showed thankfulness.
I cleared my throat then amusingly added, "Well, excusing the cheating on your wife part, you're a good man. . ."
"You're something else." He laughed. And someone slap me as hard as Will slapped Chris, but it caused me to smile even brighter. "Should I remind you that you were the one who caused me to cheat on my wife?"
"Me?" I faked a gasped. "I did nothing."
"Did nothing but bother, annoy and continuously beg." He said, like he didn't enjoy what was occurring between us.
"Ohhh, so I was bothering and annoying you? So sucking your dick was annoying?"
"Yes, very." His stupid smile wanted me to kiss his stupid face.
I scooted over away from him and untangled our fingers, fake mad. "Well then-" I started.
"But I never gotten the chance to say that I'm glad it happened."
That caused everything inside me to pause. "Oh?" I encouraged him to continue.
"Yeah, I'm very glad it happened. Without you coming into my life and messing it up for the better, I would still be in a lifeless marriage and only believe that my terrible situation was all life had to offer." Both of his hands closed in on mine and completely enclosed around it. "Also, I lied before."
I acted shocked. "What? Really? You lie? What a surprise. I never knew a man of your-"
He cut me off. "Anyways, I lied to you that night on my porch. I didn't just break it off with Angel because of you. I definitely was thinking of you, but that wasn't the only reason. I did it for me. I realized, I didn't want that to be my life. I wanted a family, a real family. I want a wife who I love and who loves me, unconditionally. Vows filled with truth. I want to live in a house filled with love, not lies. I want more for myself and you were the one who helped me realize that." God, his words were warming me up all over. "You were the one person who believed that I could be worthy of more."
Veer's words. . .I had no words for them. He was expressing himself and his thoughts and all I could do was listen. I loved his way with words and how comfortable he was with expressing himself to me.
I was trying to think of words to reply back, "Veer-"
The look in his eyes was of importance. He was looking at me like I was of importance, like a trophy. As I stated many times before, I loved looking in his eyes. He spoke, "I'm truly sorry for the way I acted and the shit I pulled that night, Sevyn. I'm sorry for making you feel less than what you absolutely deserve. I'm sorry for it all, baby."
Baby.
I brought my head in close to his and closed my eyes. Our foreheads were kissing. Our fingers were tangled together below. Our breathing was mixing. This was what I missed. Talking to Veer, being close to Veer, feeling this warmth and comfort that only Veer made me feel.
It was silent for a minute before I said anything back. I needed time to think and I think that I already greatly thought it through and came to a conclusion. "I accept your apology, Veer. And for the record, I missed you too. A lot."
"I missed you so fucking much."
Our contact became closer than it was before and then I realized, we were hugging. Veer pulled me in close, pulled us both in closer to each other and we made significant contact. My arms wrapped around him and his arms wrapped around me. This very simple contact causing fireworks to pop, sizzle, and explode inside me. Who knew one hug from Veer could be this enticing?
I missed him so much.
•
a/n: IM SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING! i have been so busy and when i actually do set aside time to write. . .my mind goes blank. but things are back in motion! anyways, thank you for still sticking with this story, it means so much to me!!!
even though i take forever updating this book, it will get finished. i promise that. as i stated on my Instagram, im wanting to get this book over with soon, so im slimming down the chpts and there will be 36 chats in total and then book finally done
THANK YOU FOR READING!!! a short chpt, but still hoped you enjoyed! love you guys so much!!!