CHAPTER FOURTY-EIGHT !
[ real life ]
❝ PRIORITIES, MAN, PRIORITIES ❞
📂﹖﹕𓂃𐩐💻
ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ
matt stands in front of becca monroe's house and debates completely turning around and leaving the property immediately.
the note in his hand though, is a firm reminder that he can't leave until he sets a few things straight. even though he just argued with aurora before making his way here, figuring things out with her and this whole becca thing is his first priority. priorities, man, priorities.
so, with a deep breath, he raises his fist to the door and knocks twice.
he waits for a small moment before the door suddenly opens in front of him and becca is revealed on the other side. her hair is up in a messy bun, she's wearing workout clothes, and she's slightly sweaty as if she didn't know he was coming which is just... like.. okay. he literally texted her in advance but alrighty.
"oh hey," she says, letting out a breath like again, she was in a rush and had no clue he was showing up.
"hey," matt responds shortly, giving a small smile because he is like.. at her house or whatever.
"you can come in," she tells him, moving aside and opening the door more so he can do so. she has a kind smile on her face but matt's fully aware of the note in his pocket and that if he didn't write it, he's got a slight clue who did. well, obviously, since he's at her fucking house. he sighs and ultimately steps forward into her home.
matt awkwardly glances around the room, taking in the view of her living room as she closes the front door behind her. god, this is really awkward, he realizes as he begins to scratch at the back of his neck. she glances over at him. "so... do you wanna go out or something or just chill here because i've gotta change and-"
"ummm," matt cuts her off hesitantly, bringing his hand down from his neck. "you don't have to change or anything because i really don't think i'm gonna be here for long, i've just gotta ask you about something," he explains, watching her eyebrows raise.
"oh?" her arms begin to cross. "i'm confused. are we not—"
"no..." matt cuts her off again, realizing he's probably coming off dickish so he should just get this over with already. he sighs and pulls the note out of his pocket, beginning to step over to her. "look, uh..." her eyes glance to what he's holding in his hand with an annoyed look, obviously unhappy with not getting what she assumed he came here for. "did you write this?" he stretches his arm out so she can grab the note from his hand and look at it.
she looks down at it momentarily before looking back at him and scoffing. "this is what you came here over? seriously, what even is this?"
"take it," he insists.
she sighs of annoyance before ultimately taking it from his hand. she glances over the empty folded side and turns it over, pausing once she sees her name written on the other side. her movements pause for just a split second and she glances up at him momentarily and that's when matt knows she's the one behind it without even saying anything. his tongue rolls over the inside of his bottom lip as she quietly opens the note and glances over it. there's a familiarity to her eyes as she does so.
after an extended silence, she finally looks back up to him and narrows her eyes. "you're here about some elementary school note?"
he thinks about the elementary school time in question and shakes his head. "this note cost me a lot," this note cost him aurora and all that their friendship meant to him. "and i didn't even fucking write it." he snatches it from her hands without warning a tad aggressively and puts it back into his pocket.
she just stares at him for a moment before rolling her eyes. "whatever, not my problem," she shrugs. "you really came all the way done here to confront me about some note from literal years ago?"
"yeah..."
becca looks at him like he's dumb and crosses her arms. "that's fucking stupid," she tells him. "you could've just dmed me that straight-up? why'd you even kiss me at the party then? to find out about some stupid note?"
matt coughs before honestly answering, "no.. i did it to get back at aurora for uh... something," he tells her, watching as her face scrunches up and trying to recover with an added-on, "sorry though! um... i guess? i mean, it was like.. just a kiss at a party so i didn't think you'd—"
"just shut up," she cuts him off with again, an annoyed sigh. "you guys still hate each other or whatever the fuck?"
matt is surprisingly taken aback by the question and oddly has to clear his throat before answering with a simple, "yeah." his voice comes out quieter than he likes. weird.
"goddamn," becca's eyebrows raise for a second before she just shakes her head to herself. "well, i mean, auroras always been a bitch so i'm not even surprised she's still hung up over some stupid note."
matt's face instantly drops, he can't help it. "she's not a bitch," he easily defends the girl he just claimed to still hate and was arguing with before he drove down here. "and it's not a stupid note when it ruined my entire fucking friendship with her."
becca goes silent for a moment, analyzing his features with narrowed eyes before suddenly laughing. matt's eyebrows scrunch up and she grins, amused. "oh, i see what this is. you've got a crush on her and that's why you're still stuck on something from elementary school," she explains with a light-hearted tone as if it's the funniest thing in the world. his jaw clenches, beginning to grow genuinely annoyed with her before she suddenly gasps and adds on, "and it's mutual! oh my god, that's why she came up to us at the party when we kissed all like 'what the fuck?'" she then looks to matt's obviously frustrated expression and sighs. "wow, this is gold."
"literally shut the fuck up, becca," he responds with no amusement in return, her face dropping. "i came here and i showed you this ridiculous fucking note that has practically ruined my life since elementary school that is—for some fucking reason, addressed to you. now, you and i both know i did not write that and you and i also both know there is a one-hundred percent chance that it was you who did," he tells her straight-up. "now, please, for the love of god, tell me what kind of weird ass reasoning you had for doing this and how you did it so i can once-and-for-all, fix it."
she gives him a death glare as if she's insanely annoyed he's asking her for rightful answers but she gulps, genuinely swallowing her pride and managing a shrug. "what-fucking-ever," she sighs. "fine. i wrote it in fifth grade. god, it's genuinely not that big of a deal."
matt feels it in his chest, the reassurance that auroras falling out with him isn't his fault. he looks down to becca and asks a simple, "why?"
"because i hated aurora, fucking duh? still do, by the way. but she literally always thought she was better than me and thought she was tough shit because she got into arguments with people older than us like no? you obviously just want attention? plus, you could tell she was like.. kinda jealous of me and my friends? like all the friends she had was you and your brothers. she didn't even have an actual fucking d—"
"don't," matt cuts her off her ridiculous-sounding rant with a close of his eyes. "just shut up already. could've stopped at the first four words, for fucks sake."
"you asked me why and i literally just gave an answer," she scoffs. "sorry if i hurt your feelings by telling the truth about your little girlfriend or whatev—"
"oh my god," matt cuts her off with an annoyed groan. "keep her name the fuck out of your mouth if you're just gonna speak from an old elementary school grudge that makes no sense. you were a brat, that's why she didn't like you. honestly, she was better than you and she still is better than you. anyone with a brain is better than you at this point. i don't know why you're saying all this shit about her to me out of all people, i'm obviously not gonna stand here and let you drag her through the mud when i asked one short question that would.. yknow... normally come with a short fucking answer."
she falls silent from matt's long defensive rant so he takes in a breath, using the opportunity to speak again. "now... how did you write it in my handwriting?"
she shrugs. "i wrote it with my left hand. every single guys handwriting was ass in elementary school and i copied you on a spelling test once so i remembered that you did those weird dotted circles on your i's."
matt just stares at her, her answer being so easy it's kind of a let down. well!
"oh and while we're here, so you can get the fuck out of my house quicker," she speaks up again. "when i came to you on the playground talking about how i could 'grant wishes by kissing people's cheeks,' aurora was watching from the class window so..."
matt's lip twist downwards. how the fuck did he fall for that in fifth grade? he understands like first or second but seriously? fifth? he sighs internally.
he's silent for a second too long so becca quickly clicks her tongue and tilts her head at him. "is that it? are you ready to fucking leave yet? or have you still got more?"
his lips twist to the side for a second, not wanting to accept the fact that he lost his friendship with aurora, what he treasured most at the time, over some stupid fucking elementary school feud. he sighs and glances back at her. "you.. wrote that whole note just because you hated her? that was it? no bigger reason?"
she groans at him for asking more questions before just simply shrugging. "you and your brothers were like her only actual friends in elementary school so i wanted to take that from her. it kind of blowed though because she didn't distance from your brothers too, she stayed friends with them," she sighs loudly as if she's still frustrated about it. he thinks that's all she has to say before she suddenly speaks up again with a sarcastic tone, "oh wait—yikes... that must've sucked for you. i mean, she hated—well, hates you.. and is friends with your brothers? that must be awful to put up with. my bad. sorry, i guess?..."
matt just rolls his eyes, shaking his head and finally turning away from her and walking towards the door. he reaches for the knob as she watches him with her arms crossed and right before he opens it, her voice makes him freeze for a moment.
"oh and matt?" she pauses for a second, him not even responding. she rolls her eyes and answers herself, "you're so in love with her it's actually pitiful. you should really move on and find someone bet—"
"fuck. off."
and just like that, he opens the door and walks the fuck out.
god, he can't believe he kissed her. he can't believe he kissed her and aurora saw it. seriously gross.
he gets into his car and allows his mind to wander as he drives back to his house. he thinks back to the small argument he got into with aurora before he went to becca's house. he doesn't regret what he said, he stands by it. he just wishes he hadn't.. brought up her step dad. it was really dickish, especially when, before this stupid fucking note fucked every thing over—he was the one who comforted her about it.
when he gets home, everyone from the video they filmed is gone, thank fucking god. chris and nick both pester him about walking off in the middle of the video and how he made his hatred for ross a little too obvious but he just shrugs them off.
he heads to his room and sits down on his bed with a sigh. he takes out the note in his pocket and opens his bedside drawer. he rummages through all the random junk he's piled in there and pauses for a moment when he sees the other note at the very bottom, shoved into the back corner. he almost reaches for it and grabs it but no, he is not in the mood to relive that. he ultimately takes the note with becca's name written on the front and puts it in the drawer next to the one with 'rora' and a poorly drawn heart on the front. he closes the drawer afterwards with a much-needed sigh.
this whole becca note and becca herself has really fucked him over. he doesn't want to think about how if the stupid note never reached auroras hands, they'd probably never of gotten to where they stand right now. they'd be friends, for fucks sake.
he also doesn't want to think about how things would've been if aurora had gotten her hands on the actual note matt wrote. he doesn't want to think about how different things would be and how if she felt the same he did when he wrote it, he'd definitely be a lot happier than he is right now. he never would've made such stupid mistakes, he would've had the courage to actually make her his.
he snaps out of the thoughts he doesn't want to think about with a sigh. he runs a hand through his hair and lays back on his bed. he needs to stop thinking about the what if's and think of how to explain this all and how to really express he's sorry, how to get his girl out of ross' gross fucking hands.
he sits in silence for a while, mind all over the place, before settling on one thought.
notes have seemed to ruin a lot of things for him but fuck, is it a good way to get all of your thoughts down. maybe he just needs to shut his mouth since it's only seemed to make things worse and grab a pencil and paper instead.
💌
craaaaaaaaaazy
this is so short sigh i'm sorry. it was actually supposed to be way longer but writing matt's pov takes too much energy so apologies fam.
also sorry for taking so long to update like i have no excuse i just have major writes block so like.... major L moment for me. like i have every thing planned for the rest of the plot up until the end of the book i just can't write it out💔💔💔💔 but i will get back on my grind soon!!!!! swear dawgs.
back to auroras pov next chapter and i know some of u are upset w my girl rn bc.... ross..... but kingston is making an appearance and he's gonna help her out fr😍😍😍😍
also shoutout to mal and mak bc they cheered with me on ft every time i got more words down for the first part of this chapter! woo!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗
<3
jaden