TW: Not very detailed but description of panic attack/mentions of death ⚠️
Hello my beautiful people ❤ Another chapter, another amazing fan art created by my incredible friend D! Here's the link to the full, uncensored drawing (sometimes I had to due to Wattpad's rules): https://www.deviantart.com/shineunderthemoon/art/OF-ROSES-AND-DAISIES-FIC-ON-AO3-CHAPTER-6-926019956 Please, always support artists like this ❤
⚠️This story is full of music and ambience videos I carefully chose, that's why you are going to find links scattered here and there from chapter to chapter. Please, click on them when you see them to let me drag you in the best mood for of the scene! ❤
***
From that memorable day they had spent at the Lake of Roses, Hwanwoong had officially become one of the personal guards of the prince. He was still on a trial period therefore he would always spend only a half of the day at Youngjo's side, alternating night and day turns with Gunhak who always looked like a protective dog who mistrusted anybody who would step close to the prince.
Hwanwoong had been keeping his father updated with letters he would secretly send him thanks to one of their invisible messengers. He would tell him about his turns, how many guards there were anywhere, the king of the Kingdom of Roses attitudes and daily activities. He barely wrote about Prince Youngjo, too scared his guilt would have escaped from the ink of his written words and make his father discover what he had been up to. What Hwanwoong had been up to? He had no idea.
He just knew he had been slowly sucked into the spider web that was his relationship with the prince of the Kingdom of Roses like a bug. Hwanwoong would quietly spend his time beside him as his personal guard, exchanging meaningful glances during the day while they would let their naked bodies intertwine under Youngjo's bed sheets in the night, far from anyone's eyes, trying to keep the sounds of their desire quiet to avoid getting caught. The prince of the Kingdom of Daisies felt as if he were living two lives at the same time: the prince in disguise who was perfectly executing his mission and the one of Youngjo's beautiful knight whose life was entirely devoted to him.
He had discovered so much more about Prince Youngjo during his permanence at the royal castle. Youngjo wasn't someone that could be defined either lazy or spoiled. He would wake up every day at the same time as soon as his servants called him. He would wash himself thoughtfully and dress properly refusing to be helped by the court's men as any other prince would have. He would go meet his father for breakfast and he would accomplish his royal duties whether it would have been about listening to people complaining or to solve small conflicts between them. He consumed his lunch, and he would go train with his closest knights and dear friends, sometimes still joined by Hwanwoong who had already admitted himself how much he enjoyed doing that with him. When the sun would start setting, the prince would retire in his studio to take care of other duties, writing letters to allies or solving more important questions, often joined by the court strategist Seoho who helped him.
After dinner, he would usually have a milk bath surrounded by rose petals and he would finally spend some time doing what he loved the most, which could be a lot of things as Hwanwoong had had the pleasure to discover. Youngjo loved painting, reading, taking long walks in the nature or on his black horse's back, he knew how to play more than one musical instrument and he would even write poems he had sometimes read to the knight as well. He was someone so extremely creative and fond of culture, the prince of Daisies couldn't help finding him more fascinating as days passed.
Hwanwoong had quietly placed himself like a small piece in the puzzle that was the prince's daily life, switching his own emotions off and using his acting skills so much sometimes he was twice as tired by the end of the day. He would just drown in Youngjo's embrace as he would trust inside him and worship his body, making him feel like the most precious treasure in the world. Their undeniable physical attraction wasn't what was bothering Hwanwoong though. It was all about what they would do right after doing it. When Youngjo would hold him in his arms tight and they would just talk about how the day had gone for both. The prince of Roses would have made Hwanwoong laugh with his jokes, or he would have simply listened to Hwanwoong's activities even if they were boring to him.
Those were the moments the prince of Daisies secretly cherished, and he was scared about at the same time because everything would always come so naturally, he could have gotten used to it and that just couldn't happen to someone like him. He wished he were wise enough to remember that when the other would drag him in a kiss or in a simple contact that always ended up becoming something more. Hwanwoong would have never given the other prince the chance to get inside his firm mind although the more they spent time together the more he acknowledged Youngjo's power over his body.
"Ser Yeo?" Minhyuk called the other's name, noticing he was spacing out.
"Y-Yes?" He immediately replied, fixing his own posture, ready to relieve the other to start another day at Youngjo's side. Ser Lee Minhyuk was another one of the prince's longest lifeguards who would often work like Hwanwoong and Gunhak in order to protect Youngjo during important meetings or in substitution to one of the two if absent for any reason.
"I should inform you about a change in today's activities of the prince." Minhyuk continued.
"What do you mean? What's happening today?" He tilted his head to the side in confusion.
"Your Majesty has woken up suffering from body pains and the court physician is already inside to check on him. Honestly, he looked like he might have a slight fever. Please, keep an eye on the prince closely today and make sure to follow each of the physician's instructions."
Hwanwoong nodded before the other left him alone with an encouraging pack on his back. He made sure to knock at the prince's door before someone's voice on the other side allowed him to enter, someone's voice that wasn't the prince's. As soon as he was inside, he saw Youngjo lying still on his bed, covered by extra layers of blankets while a rather skinny young man with dark long hair was kneeling beside him, whispering him something Hwanwoong was unable to hear from his position.
"Hwanwoong..." Youngjo said as soon as he saw the knight at the door, making his heart flip out of fear because that was the first time he had called him by his name in someone else's presence.
"Your Majesty, good morning." He dutifully bowed, trying to look calm. "Ser Lee informed me about your conditions. How are you feeling today?" He asked, thankful the physician looked too busy collecting his own stuff to give any credit to the prince's words.
Youngjo smiled faintly: "I'm fine-"
"He is not." The court's physician stood up, finally facing the prince of the Kingdom of Daisies. "I believe we haven't properly introduced each other yet, I'm Dongju." They politely bowed to each other as a greeting and Hwanwoong couldn't help noticing the physician looked so young for his job. "Your Majesty has been running outside in the rain last night and he has fever now. It's nothing severe but he won't be able to accomplish his daily tasks today and I need to ask you to make sure he takes these medicaments. Your Majesty told me you can read so, I wrote it down here for you to remember, is it correct?" He asked, giving the knight a bag and a piece of paper with instructions written on it. "I have to go now, but please send someone to personally call me in case he loses consciousness."
That being said, he rushed outside of the prince's room, ready to go take care of other patients.
Hwanwoong found himself feeling a little taken aback at first, unable to remember when he had told Youngjo that he could read. He was a prince so, of course he had grown up receiving proper education on the largest variety of subjects, but he tended to forget that a knight who could read might had been a little bit suspicious because the majority of the real ones barely knew how to write their own names. It was simply not useful for them to learn about those things if they could have given their best on the battlefield with a sword in their hands.
He stared at the prince who looked like he had fallen asleep, wondering how he had figured that out.
"Hwanwoong..." Youngjo spoke, suddenly opening his eyes. He was unusually pale, a thin veil of sweat was making his marvelous skin glow, a look Hwanwoong was too familiar with considering he had watched his dear mother slowly dying in very similar conditions. "Come closer..."
The prince of Daisies grabbed the nearest chair to have a sit beside him with a heavy heart.
"How was your night turn?" He simply asked, his voice coming out faint and tired.
Hwanwoong gave him a worried look: "Nothing different from usual, Your Majesty, but you should rest now. The court's physician said you should-"
"I know what Dongju said. I asked you another question, Hwanwoong." He reached out to caress the knight's cheek, brushing with his thumb a new red cut on his face. "Who did this to you?"
Hwanwoong didn't even know what the other was talking about until he looked at his own face in the mirror placed on the prince's nightstand. "Oh, that's..." That was the mark an innocent farmer's nails had left on his face in his last attempt of saving himself from Hwanwoong's sword.
He had had to kill him just because he had caught him giving one of his letters to his messenger. The poor farmer had found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and the prince of Daisies had had no choice but to take his life away with the secret he would have carried. He was used to it. His father had raised him to become used to it so that his son wouldn't even have felt guilty anymore.
"Nothing! I was changing my clothes after the night turn, and I wasn't careful removing my helmet."
At those words, Youngjo suddenly brought his own thumb at his lips to lick it and to go back on the small mark on the knight's face to smear his saliva on it. "You should be more careful. Your face is too pretty to get ruined because of your carelessness, my love-" The end of the prince's sentence got cut off because he had been unable to keep himself from coughing, but Hwanwoong's heart skipped a beat at both what the other had just done and for what he thought he had heard Youngjo calling him.
"I will, but you need to rest now, Your Majesty." He warned him, pulling his blanket slightly up on his body. "I'll be outside your door as always. Call me if you need anything and I will make sure you will receive all the right medicaments for your fever." He said while standing up.
"S-Stay..." Youngjo managed to catch the other's wrist, keeping him from leaving. "Please..."
Hwanwoong looked down at the prince of the Kingdom of Roses, at the son of their mortal enemy, at the person he had trained his entire life to beat and to kill, holding his hand and asking him to stay by his side like a lonely child. He immediately wished to step outside as far from the other as possible but, as always, his body was already responding to Youngjo's touch, ignoring his free will.
"Thank you." Youngjo weakly smiled, holding the other's hand.
They both stood silent for an undefined amount of time before curiosity won over Hwanwoong and he spoke before he could stop himself: "Why did you walk under the rain yesterday, Your Majesty?"
"Can you read that book for me?" The prince of the Kingdom of Roses asked, completely ignoring the other's question while pointing at one of the books scattered all over his working desk.
Hwanwoong's mouth opened but no sound came out before he decided to simply stand up and do what the other had asked him to: "Hmm, which one, Your Majesty?"
"Our favorite one." Youngjo simply replied and the knight froze, clearly remembering the moment he had foolishly revealed him he could read at the Ghost Cave when they barely knew each other.
Hwanwoong picked the red volume where the title "Romeo and Juliet" was so elegantly written despite its pages showed the consequences of Prince Youngjo's bath in the pool filled with leeches. He sat back beside the other: "Haven't you read this book a thousand times already?"
Youngjo blinked very slowly, as if his eyelids were too heavy, but he smiled weakly: "I did but..." He slightly turned on his bed to look at the knight: "I want you to read it for me, Hwanwoong."
Hwanwoong opened the book, realizing it would have been useless to lie at that point and to say he didn't know how to read. At least they could have killed some time that way: "Yes, Your Majes-"
"Can you..." The prince had to cough again. "You can call me Youngjo when it's just the two of us."
Hwanwoong abruptly lifted his eyes up from the book: "What?"
Youngjo reached out to take hold of his hand and bring it close to his chest: "You heard me. You already call me by my name anyway when we lie together on this bed. I like it better so, do it."
"Y-Youngjo." Hwanwoong tried and it immediately felt so strange. Actually, the prince had been acting strange the moment he had stepped into his room so, he figured it might had been because of the fever. "I... I will start reading now then." He added, looking at their joined hands as if he were asking the other what he was planning on doing but the prince smiled and he looked at him, waiting for the knight to begin. Hwanwoong sighed, letting that slide as well and he started reading.
He had honestly expected Youngjo to fall asleep in a few pages of the book, but the prince of Daisies was already half through it by lunch time and the other had silently listened to each of his words, only coughing from time to time. Hwanwoong made sure the prince ate and took his medicines before he asked him to continue reading. Youngjo's wishes were Hwanwoong's commands and he ended up getting invested in the narration of the story, mindlessly starting to read with more emotions, giving each character a voice of their own and enjoying the way he could even make the other laugh.
Hwanwoong had been so into it he hadn't noticed those extra tears of sweat silently rolling down Youngjo's forehead or the way he was having more trouble keeping his eyes open to focus on him until, at some point, he felt the grip of the prince weakening around his fingers. The prince of Daisies lifted his eyes up from the pages and he quietly gasped at the other's conditions. "Youngjo..." He put the book aside and he bent forward to put his free hand on the prince's forehead: he was burning hot. "I think your fever is rising. H-How are you feeling?" He asked to check if he were still conscious.
Youngjo's semi-open eyes looked unfocused when he stared at the knight's face. "I'm fine..." He sighed, leaning in the other's soothing touch. "I'm just feeling a bit hot..."
Hwanwoong immediately stood up to go take a wet fresh towel and a bowl filled with water. He took a sit beside the prince, rolling the sleeves of his own shirt up and he uncovered the other's body. "Youngjo... I need to lower your temperature. May I...?" He carefully asked, trying to make the other understand he needed to take at least his shirt off to dab his chest with the towel.
Youngjo weakly smiled: "Why are you asking? You never asked. You should know you can..."
Hwanwoong gave him a look for the quite inappropriate sentence at the wrong time and he pulled the other's shirt off to start doing what he had to do. Youngjo closed his eyes, quietly sighing in relief at the other's administrations, slowly drifting off to sleep. Hwanwoong kept working until he felt the prince's breath stabilizing and the temperature of his body lowering. That was the moment he realized his own heart was beating too fast, his hands were shaking, and he was breathing with his mouth open. It had been a long time since he had had one of his attacks: it happened every time he thought too much about his dear mother or if he was somehow reminded of the last moments of her life with him and it all became overwhelming. Hwanwoong swallowed hard as he looked at the prince, who had finally fallen asleep, and he stood up to go open the window and take a breath of fresh air.
The prince of Daisies had no idea how much time he had spent looking at the sun setting before he heard Youngjo's raspy voice calling him. He rushed to the other's side, and he managed to understand he had asked for water. When he poured some in a cup for him, his own hands were still shaking.
"Hwanwoong." Youngjo suddenly called his name, covering his hand with his own and holding the cup with him, finally stopping the frenetic movements of his hands. He had woken up feeling definitely better thanks to the other's help and Dongju's medicaments, but Hwanwoong's pale face and sudden behavior were making him worry. "Are you... Are you alright?" He couldn't help asking.
Hwanwoong desperately tried to hold back his emotions as he always did but the warmth of the other's hand over his own and his deep eyes on him made the task so hard tears started soon rolling down his cheeks without his consent. He silently helped the prince drink his water as he wouldn't let go of his hand, making the whole situation worse for Hwanwoong. "Y-Youngjo..." He wanted to tell him to let go of him or he would have never stopped. He just needed to calm down and to be alone.
"Why are you crying?" Youngjo asked, tightening his grip around the knight's hand instead. That was the first time he had seen his fierce, trusted Hwanwoong, cry. He really couldn't stand that sight. He needed to know what was bothering the other. "Hwanwoong, talk to me." He softly said.
"I'm... I'm fine." Hwanwoong tried to slip his hand away, but the other's grip was even too strong for someone who had fever and who was in bed. "It just happens to me sometimes when I... When I think about my mother." He surrendered, looking away despite he let the other squeeze his hand.
Youngjo immediately thought about how much he had cried the previous day in the forest where his mother's grave was located and he smiled sadly: "So, we have something else in common..."
Their eyes met and the knight realized they indeed had a lot in common. Maybe even more than the prince of the Kingdom of Roses was aware of since he ignored Hwanwoong's biggest secret.
"How did she...?" Youngjo carefully asked, not wanting to be nosy.
"Her health conditions have always been fragile since I was little. She started spending more and more time in bed and I was barely seven years old when she got a high fever and she..." Hwanwoong's voice cracked towards the end of his sentence and more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry... I don't know what's my problem but to see you getting so sick in your bed made me..."
Youngjo listened to each of the other's words while never letting go of his hand before he saw him lowering his head to silently keep on crying. "Hwanwoong." He called him at some point. "Hey..." He gently pulled at his wrist to make the other look at him in the eyes. "I know exactly how you feel." He used his thumb to caress the other's hand. "The queen of Roses was a very adventurous woman, you know? She would often sneak outside the castle's walls to explore the forest and to discover new flowers and curative herbs. She was very passionate in helping others and she used to tell me she wanted to keep on studying to become as good as the court's physician at the time."
Hwanwoong used the back of his free hand to wipe off his own tears as he was listening.
"My father used to scream and to get angry at her quite often, but I loved when she brought me along with her to see the stars at night in the forest or at the lake to see the dawn."
Their eyes met again and that was when Hwanwoong realized the other had just talked about the same places where they had created unforgettable memories together. He could literally feel his own heart hopelessly sinking further into the dangerous quicksand of affection that was Youngjo, holding onto that moment of fragility of his and pulling him down like an anchor sinking in the deepest sea.
"Maybe we should have listened to his words..." The other prince's face darkened.
Hwanwoong frowned, suddenly remembering the way the king of Roses had honored the queen's absence during the sword tournament while he had had fun with several ladies at the after party the same night. It mustn't had been easy for Youngjo, he thought, to see his father acting that way and to forget about his mother so carelessly. Apparently, the king of Roses had reacted in a very different way from his father, despite they had experienced the same loss: since the queen of Daisies had passed away, his own father had become as cold as ice, and he had never let anyone else get to his heart or his body. Hwanwoong honestly didn't know which of the two options was the worst but to hear the other young man speaking about it made him feel so close to him he almost panicked more.
"One day, as she was wandering in the forest, she found a very rare type of beautiful wild roses that only grow in our kingdom. They are called 'death's roses' now because of the deadly poison soaking their thorns." He turned his head to look at one of the big flowerpots filled with red roses adorning quite literally every corner of the castle. "She had no clue about how dangerous it would have been for her to get pricked and that was how she inadvertently poisoned herself to death."
Hwanwoong heart skipped a beat at the other's story. He remembered how excruciating it had been for him to watch life slowly abandoning the queen of Daisies as days had gone by but at least that way he had seen her death coming as if he had been waiting for the sunrise of a new day. Hwanwoong couldn't imagine how the other prince must had felt at his incredibly sudden loss. Despite it had happened in different ways, he had felt on his own skin the same pain and it was something he would never wish for anyone, not even the son of his kingdom's mortal enemy. "Youngjo, I'm so sorry..." He simply said in the end with a shaky voice as his fingers tightened around Youngjo's.
"I'm sorry too." Youngjo replied, their eyes communicating so much more than their words. They could see the same pain in each other's irises, and it felt unexpectedly relieving to know there was someone who could actually understand what they were feeling. "Yesterday, it was ten years since she left so I went visiting her." The prince of Roses continued. "Her grave has been placed in the middle of the forest where she really loved to spend her time whenever she had the chance."
Hwanwoong's lips slightly parted when he realized that most definitely was the reason why the other had spent the entire evening outside in the rain, ending up in the bed he was at the moment.
"You know..." Youngjo's hand caressed his cheek to wipe off a single tear that was about to roll down the knight's face. "There is this song my mother used to sing to me when I was little." He kept moving his thumb on the other's skin. "She said it always helped her feeling better when she happened to miss her father who passed away in the Great War. It was something like..." Youngjo started : "The one that stayed by my side, the one that held me tight when my head was down..."
There was no background music, his voice sounded hoarse, and he went out of tune from time to time due to his conditions but the lyrics of the song, echoing in the silence of the room, touched something in Hwanwoong's heart that hadn't been grazed in years. He casted his eyes on his own lap as he started sobbing uncontrollably, feeling like a fool for doing that in front of Youngjo of all people.
He hated when he had one of his attacks because it always became impossible for him to control anything that was going on in his body. He probably looked weak. He probably didn't look like the prince of the Kingdom of Daisies his father had taught him to be. He was just himself, Hwanwoong.
"When darkness surrounds you. Can I wrap you in my arms when your head is down?"
The prince of the Kingdom of Daisies lifted his head up at those words and he found Youngjo's beyond sweet eyes: they seemed to ask him the same question the lyrics of the song he was singing. That was the moment Hwanwoong's defenses broke down like the other always managed to do while they were fighting with their swords. He let his head fall forward until his face sank in the soft blanket covering the prince's chest and he cried from the bottom of his heart, lulled by the gentlest touch of Youngjo's fingers through his hair.
***
"Woongie..."
Hwanwoong heard his mother's voice calling him as she was caressing his head like she always did when her sweet baby fell asleep on her lap.
The prince of Daisies mumbled with his eyes closed, something along the lines of: "Woongie is sleepy..." Then, he felt the familiar touch of the queen's fingers gently lifting him up.
He saw her scooping to the side on her bed to make room for the little prince and waiting for him to get up on his own feet to join her. Hwanwoong lazily did, closing his fists around the silky fabric of his mother's nightgown. He hadn't felt so serene in ages.
Youngjo tightened his grip around the knight's hips, pulling the covers up their bodies.
"It's warm..." Hwanwoong murmured under his breath, rubbing his cheek on Youngjo's chest.
The prince of Roses smiled, closing his eyes to go back to sleep.
***
Hwanwoong woke up when the light of a new day coming from the prince room's window started bothering his closed eyelids. He yawned, mindlessly leaning on Youngjo's chest before he realized what he had just done. He immediately jolted up, sitting straight with his eyes wide open.
The prince of Roses softly laughed: "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty..."
Hwanwoong panicked as soon as he noticed the sun was high in the sky and the prince of Roses hadn't had his dinner on the previous day nor he hadn't taken the medicaments he was supposed to in order to get better. He uncovered himself, remembering he should have also changed his guard turn with Minhyuk for the night instead of crying himself to sleep in his enemy's son arms.
"I talked to Minhyuk, don't worry. You took care of me during the night because I asked you to." Youngjo hugged the other's waist from behind, resting his chin on Hwanwoong's right shoulder. The prince of Daisies turned his head to look at the other and his heart inexplicably warmed up at the sight of Youngjo's natural rosy color back on his cheeks. "How are you feeling today, Hwanwoong?" The prince asked, his raspy but soft morning voice gave Hwanwoong goosebumps.
"How am I feeling today?" He gave him a surprised look. "How are you feeling, Your Majesty?"
"I told you to call me Youngjo when it's just the two of us." Youngjo scolded him, taking his chin between his thumb and index finger to lift his head up.
Hwanwoong felt his own cheeks on fire: "Y-Youngjo..."
The prince of Roses pulled his face closer, making their lips slightly brush. "I'm feeling so much better thanks to a beautiful night who took care of me, but I need to take a bath. Can you help me?"
"Y-Yes..." He couldn't help stuttering at the Prince Youngjo's request because he had always taken his baths by night when the knight was already gone or before he arrived for his guard turn.
"Very good. Could you go call my dear court's men to help me?"
Hwanwoong abruptly stood up, taking the perfect chance the other had just offered him to free himself from his embrace. He politely bowed, checking his own reflection in the mirror, and adjusting his uniform before leaving without sharing another word.
He came back with the court's man sooner than he had planned and he chose to simply stand up beside the entrance of the other's royal room simply because he didn't know what to do with himself. He silently watched them lighting up a fire to warm up the milk in the bathtub as Youngjo would tear every single petal of a red roses bouquet to harmoniously spread them inside and outside of it.