Komal
One Month Later
There was less than a week left till Ahad's wedding. Preparations for which were in full swing at our house. This wasn't the first time we had a wedding in our house, but the last time we did this Akbar Bhai had appeared on the very last day and quietly followed our instructions. Ahad on the other hand was far too involved in his own wedding, which I am sure Maham found cute and all, but just irritated me to no end because the guy had no clue about any housework at all.
However, even in the midst of him and I arguing over the kind of flowers that should adorn the doorway and the way the shaadi house should be illuminated, or the Aunties that visited daily to advise my mother on clothes and jewelry, there was an underlying angst that we all felt.
"Heard anything yet?", Ahad whispered to me as we both supervised the gardner.
"Nothing. You?", I asked him a rhetorical question.
"Obviously nothing. Why would I be asking you?", he shook his head at me.
"That makes no sense at all though. You have to talk to Ami and Abu and convince them to call Mariam Aunty and ask again"
"You don't think I've tried? They're making it an ego issue now. Besides maybe Farah's moved on", he shrugged.
"That is impossible..."
It had been just over a month since Ami and Abu had and sent a proposal for Farah on Kamran's behalf. I had been there when that conversation happened between my parents and Farah's Nano. But since then there was complete radio silence from them.
I hadn't heard anything from Farah, Ami and Abu had given up hope on hearing anything from her parents and were adamant they would not be contacting them again in this regard, and Kamran...poor Kamran, was devastated.
"Have you spoken to him?", Ahad asked me, his concern for his brother clearly shadowing the excitement of his own wedding.
"I did, a couple of days ago. Since then, he hasn't been picking up the phone"
"Call his roommate and ask him where he is. He better not end up missing my wedding"
Call Safdar?
In the midst of the craziness that was happening in our family right now, Kamran had mentioned in passing that Safdar may be interested in sending a rishta for me. I was dying to follow up on that, but Kamran had been so distressed, I didn't have it in me to probe him further.
"Do you want me to call him?", Ahad raised an eyebrow at me.
"No, I can do it. It's no big deal", I told my brother with a straight face, even though in reality my heart was thumping against my chest so loudly I was afraid even the gardner would hear it.
No one in my family knew about my little crush on my brother's roommate, or the fact that part of me always compared a potential suitor with the stories I had heard about him. It had been a dangerous place to be in when I didn't know about his reciprocal feelings, but now that I had an inkling it was making me oscillate between crippling euphoria and anxious desires.
Focus...there is way too much to do right now
I took a deep breath and dialled his number, waiting with bated breath to hear that deep, sensual voice that always induced butterflies in my stomach, even when it was only speaking to my brother on the other side of the video call.
"Hello...", said a sleepy, gruff voice that came through my cell.
Oh crap...it's past midnight in Seattle
"Hello...Safdar, it's Komal. Sorry, I didn't realize it was so late. I can call later"
"No, no. It's ok, I wasn't asleep yet", his voice suddenly perked up, making me blush.
"Is everything ok?", he asked while I walked back to my bedroom. There was no need for anyone to notice my flustered self.
"Yes, I just wanted to check up on Kamran. I've been trying to call him but he doesn't pick up. Not sure if he's even seeing my messages"
"I've barely seen him either this week. But today I think he went to sleep early because of his job interview tomorrow"
Wait? What?
"What job interview? Doesn't he still have at least a couple of years to go in his PhD?"
"Oh, I guess he didn't tell you", Safdar paused, "He has been applying for jobs for the last 2 weeks. He is convinced that Farah's parents rejected his proposal because he is still a grad student and doesn't have a well-paying job"
That was news to me, but also I had to point out, "Technically, no one has rejected anything. We just haven't heard from Farah's parents. But hopefully, they'll be there at the wedding and I can work my magic on them"
He laughed, that low throaty kind that raises your body's temperature, "I am sure you will. Though, between you and me, I am not sure why Kamran is doing a PhD in the first place. He complains about it all the time and has no interest in academia"
Kamran's PhD was not why I had called Safdar, but it felt so natural and homely talking to him, I lay down on my bed and put my phone on speaker. Prepared for the long-haul.
"Uh, that's thanks to my dad. He's always been on Kamran's case about his studies and I think doing a PhD is just his way of showing him what he is capable of"
I heard the ruffling of bedsheets like he was changing his position in bed and sighed, wishing that I could actually meet him too.
"That's messed up", he finally said.
"My family can be pretty messed up. Are you sure you want to marry into that?", I laughed, but then immediately stopped when I realized what I had just blurted out.
"I...uh...I didn't mean", I tried to speak, our marriage was not something that had been openly discussed at all, but he interrupted me as his deep voice reverberated across my room.
"Yes. I am absolutely sure"
The silence that followed was broken only by the sound of my rapid breathing and the heat of blood gushing to my face. For the first time I realized just why my two brothers had hung on to the women they had fallen for, despite the distance and time, and the silent void between them. That feeling of wanting someone and being wanted by them, was intoxicating. Even when painful without the physical proximity, it's a feeling that makes you alive, infusing sunshine into your soul and serenity into your mind. It's enough to make you want to move mountains, or hold time still.
"I am sorry, Komal", Safdar hesitated, "I didn't mean to make this awkward. I know this is not the time for us to talk...with you being so busy"
"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have said anything", I admitted, he had just responded to my faux pas.
"How about we call it even?", he let out a small laugh.
I couldn't help chuckling too, "That works"
Another long pause later he bid adieu, but not before saying softly, "I hope you can work your magic on Farah's family. I am really looking forward to getting the invitation to your brother's wedding...and a chance to meet you"
If I needed another reason to get Kamran and Farah married asap, this would be it!
He hung up before I could say anything, but as I lay in my bed trying to calm down my nerves and my heart rate, I suddenly remembered something and rushed out to find my mother.
"Ami, did you mail Ahad's wedding invitation to the Asad family?"
Farah
A Week Later
Morning of Ahad's wedding
I had been on overnight call the for the last 24 hours. And only I know how I had survived that call after the bombshell my mother had dropped on me just a few days ago. Her words still echoed through my mind, almost making me dizzy with disbelief, regret, and then anger.
Beta, Kamran is not the only man in this world. You'll find someone else, InshaAllah
But for me he was. Ever since I was 18 years old, he had been the only man I had thought about, dreamed about, seen a future with. I knew we didn't have anything substantial between us, except for coded words and memories of something special, but it had felt like he and I had made a promise to each other. A promise that I realized now was only in my head.
"Farah, come on yaar let it go now", Ameerah whispered as we sat next to each other in the cafeteria at 5 am, trying to get ourselves caffeinated enough to be awake on rounds in an hour.
"How am I supposed to do that?", I replied burying my face in my hands so my sorrow and tears were not on public display, "I had my whole life mapped out and he was there in every part of it. How do I get over him marrying some Maham now?"
"Whose getting married to Maham?", I heard a male voice and looked up to see Osman, the other medical student on our team this month.
He had just taken a seat on our table when he saw me, and low-key panicked taking in my frazzled state.
"Are you ok?", he looked at me with concern.
"Her heart's broken", Ameerah whispered to him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders till I leaned my head on her, making me thankful for a friend like her.
"Oh", Osman looked down at his cup of chai, before a small smile played on his lips, "There is a whole club for that and I am the president of it. Want to join?"
"Yes, where do I sign up?", I returned his sad smile before silence descended on our table again.
"I used to know a Maham too", Osman said quietly, a few moments later, "She saved herself and destroyed me. What did yours do?"
"Hers stole a man she had been pining after for four years", Ameerah spoke up before I could.
"Four years? That's enough time for people to change in unimaginable ways, and move on, even if you can't fathom a life without them", Osman was looking at me but his eyes were glazed and mind obviously somewhere else.
He pushed his still full cup of chai away from him and got up from the table. Sighing he said in a hoarse voice said, "Get over him quickly Farah, otherwise his memories will eat you up alive, leaving you as nothing but an empty shell"
He walked away from us before either of us could say anything, leaving us to glance at each other and shrug.
"I really wonder what his story is", Ameerah said.
"Do you think it has something to do with that pen he carries with him everywhere? The one that has 'Sanam' engraved on it"
Ameerah shrugged again. He really was an enigma. A sweet, kind young man that we all deeply trusted, but lately it had seemed like he was always carrying some hidden burden.
For now though, I had enough misery of my own to wallow in. So by the time we got up from the table and headed to rounds, I had forgotten about Osman. But I did have a feeling that I too would end up alone and empty like he seemed, if I didn't get over Kamran soon.
What I didn't know at the time was that the only thing Osman and my story had in common was that we had both put a pause on our young love to focus on our careers. Mine would take a dramatic turn in the next few hours, while his was a complex tale for another time.
After rounds, I was in our locker room splashing cold water on my face trying to wake up enough for my ride home when my phone rang.
"Assalama Alaikum Ami"
"Oh shukr hai I got a hold of you Farah. Come home immediately. Kamran and his family are coming over with a rishta for you"
"As his second wife? Absolutely not!"
I may have liked him for years, but he broke my heart and I wasn't going to let him trample over my self-esteem as well.
"No, no beta. As his only wife", Ami laughed, "There was a big misunderstanding"
She explained how more than a month ago Sadaf Aunty and Tanvir Uncle had called Nano with a rishta for me. They had told her they were coming to Karachi for a wedding ceremony between Ahad and Maham, who was American but her family was originally from Karachi. And had hoped to do a Nikah between Kamran and myself while they were here, if I agreed, and before Kamran went back to America.
Except that Nano with her limited hearing understood that as their American son was having a Nikah with a girl from Karachi called Maham.
"Are you serious Ami?", I stared at my phone, stunned and unbelieving at what I was hearing.
"Yes, I am absolutely serious. The mailman just delivered their wedding invitation and I realized it was Ahad getting married not Kamran. So I called up Sadaf Bhabi to confirm, and long story short, they thought we weren't interested in their proposal for you because we never got back to them"
"Did you tell them I am interested. Very, very interested", I blurted out.
Ami chuckled, "Yes beta, why do you think they are coming over?"
I heard her phone's message alert go off before her worried voice spoke again.
"Farah, they'll be here in 20 minutes. Hurry up and come. I have to get the drawing room ready for them"
With that she hung up and I could envision her frantically throwing off the sofa covers, dusting the side tables, fixing the decoration pieces while yelling at the cook to fry the shami kababs and samosas.
I looked at myself in the locker room mirror and took in my frizzy hair, bushy unthreaded eyebrows and upper lip, the bags under my eyes and the crumpled scrubs I was wearing.
"Bloody hell. You look like shit", I told my reflection.
"Stop smack talking yourself, girl. It's his loss not yours", exclaimed Ameerah, who had just stepped into the locker room.
"Kamran is coming with a rishta for me", I told her, my heart racing at the reality that was finally sinking in.
"On his wedding day?", Ameerah's mouth fell open, "That dog..."
"No, no, his brother is getting married not him", I explained to her what Ami had told me, and she went from disgusted to excited and back to disgusted in a matter of seconds.
"Oh God. And you look like that?", she pointed at my reflection in the mirror too, "This is an emergency"
Before I knew it a handful of other female med students had gathered around me too. Their consensus: Nano needed hearing aids pronto, and I looked like a teenage boy whose moustache was just coming in.
"We don't want Kamran thinking he's getting married to your brother now, do we?", Ameerah told me when I protested her plan to help me.
Ten minutes later I was being pushed down on to a chair in the middle of the stuffy women's locker room, and one of my fellow students instructed me to hold my eyelids so she could fix my eyebrows.
"Wait", I looked at the stiff white thread in her hand, "Is that a suturing thread?"
"Yup, 7-0 prolene. Got it from the ED and cut the needle off. Don't worry it's sterile"
"Come on Farah stop wasting time, it's not like we carry regular thread with us", Ameerah physically positioned my hands over my eye and forehead.
"Jaldi karein, uss se pehle ke Nano kuch aur ulti pulti baat kar dein", she told our friend. (Hurry up before Nano says something else that is odd)
The girls around me chuckled, and I gave in, but also couldn't help pointing out the obvious, "You could have gotten a tweezer from the ED too"
"Couldn't find a sterile one. But Saima is sterilizing one right now over the bunsen burner in the microbiology lab, so we have back up", I heard someone say as unwanted stray hair were mercilessly ripped from my skin.
Oh God!
I definitely questioned whether having the perfectly shaped eyebrows and smooth upper lip was worth the risk of getting a transmissible disease. But soon I had been threaded and tweezed, sprayed on with someone's donated deodorant, and had Ameerah's hair clips shoved into my scalp.
Half an hour after that I was entering my house as sounds of laughter rang out from the drawing room, and the smell of fried snacks made my stomach rumble.
Yet, something I had heard that morning made me pause.
Four years is enough time for people to change in unimaginable ways
As I stood still in the foyer of my house, I heard his voice. Muffled and distant, yet unmistakably his. My skin prickled with goosebumps, and my throat went dry in anticipation of what was to come. But the seed of angst sown that morning, also led me to whisper to myself.
"Please be the same man I met in Naran"
The thought of losing him had made me realize just how deeply I had fallen in love with the man I had met back then. If he wasn't the same, I wasn't sure what I would do.
There is only one way to find out
Tucking stray hair behind my ear, I took a deep breath and opened the french doors that led to the drawing room.
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Ok, hear me out before you curse me for ending the chapter here! KamRah's first meeting after more than 4 years deserves a chapter on its own, don't you think 😊
You can tell my mind keeps intermingling Pursuit of Perfection with this story! But the world can be a very small place.
Hope you liked the chapter!
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