It was an hour before midnight, the previously empty sky now filled with dazzling stars and a few stray clouds. The moon was alight, reflecting its brilliant view onto the water below. Sounds of crickets could be heard, soothing the tattooed man with their audible noise. Hanma Shuji was sitting on the ledge of a bridge, waiting for the man that he wanted to meet up with. He didn't particularly like today, disliking the fact that he spent most of it hunting for that Hanemiya boy instead of fulfilling his usual compulsive pleasures. He breathed in the fresh air, staring down below at the water with a contemplative expression.
He was thinking about none other than Hanemiya Kazutora, unsure of how to feel about him. As much as Shuji tends to not care for others, he couldn't help but be curious about the life of Kazutora. Shuji is a naturally observant person, so he was already able to tell that there was more going on in Kazutora's brain than he let on. In a way, he couldn't help but compare Kazutora to Tetta, finding certain bits of their vibes to be strangely... similar, in some ways, while extremely different in others. He didn't know why he was making the comparison, but he somehow felt compelled to— as if there was more going on, more hidden action behind the scenes. It made Hanma want to know more, a faint feeling of excitement tingling under his skin.
But what should he do? The only thing Shuji is good for is fighting, being practically incapable of building close relationships with others. Sure, he's able to respect and grow attached to a select few people, but opening up and doing more than listening to orders was something that he struggled with. And yet he wanted nothing more than to get to know a random stranger that he, by sheer coincidence, saw one fateful night— only to be, by coincidence once more, ordered to find and offer him a proposition to join Valhalla, the Headless Angels. It was a confusing build-up of feelings that he wasn't able to name.
Out of nowhere, a familiar voice cut him from his thoughts, stepping toward Shuji to gain his attention. "I haven't seen you think so dedicatedly in a while, did something happen with Hanemiya?"
Shuji then glanced over, making eye contact with his superior— Kisaki Tetta. "Finally, you show up. Still stalking that girl of yours?"
"Answer the question." Demanded Kisaki, dismissing Hanma's questionable accusation.
His subordinate sighed, "No, not much happened. He ended up being sent to the hospital for a spiral fracture as soon as I got there, and he refused to give an answer about joining— he said to give him three days to think about it."
Kisaki nodded, not very surprised to hear this. "Regardless of the rumors and information that we've collected on him, we can't say exactly what his mental situation is. Don't let your guard down near him, he may grow to be hysterical depending on what subjects are brought up."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Probably has some trauma or whatever for accidentally killing a guy. Nothing surprising." Shuji replied in an uninterested tone, having already been told of this countless times before. Man's messed up in the head, he gets it, don't have to remind him an nth time.
Kisaki narrowed his eyes, not finding Hanma's nonchalant attitude to be anywhere near amusing. However, he kept his thoughts to himself, continuing on with what he came here for. "Continue gathering more members for Valhalla in the meantime whilst you wait for a response. Hanemiya plays an important role in the destruction of Sano Manjirou, so make sure that he says yes."
Hanma nodded in confirmation, "Will do, bossman." Even without your order, I would've done so anyway. He was simply that enthralled with the boy. Nevertheless, Hanma looked directly at the face of Kisaki, a wide smile casting over his face. Cheeks meeting his eyes, his eyes glimmered with the reflection of hope, attachment, and admiration.
Kisaki could see it clearly as day, as Shuji was an open book when it came to his emotions and how he felt. This was something that Kisaki Tetta took advantage of, having known of Shuji's emotional ranges that blended together like soup. Hanma was predictable to him, just as most people are. "Good."
Shuji fell silent for a moment, gazing at Kisaki with a wondering look. He parted his lips, hesitant to speak. Kisaki noticed, waiting for Hanma to speak his mind, his own eyes meeting Shuji's. Shuji wanted to ask if Tetta wanted to go somewhere to hang out, however, Shuji could not, closing his mouth to frown and looking away. He knew that Kisaki would say no, he knew that Kisaki saw him as nothing more than a tool to be disposed of once he was no longer useful and that Kisaki never once saw him as a true friend. Shuji may be a wild soul, but he was no idiot; he could see that Kisaki was only using him. But that didn't stop Hanma's platonic feelings to grow, desiring to do more with him than just following his commands upon orders. He wanted to hang out with him, he wanted to spend time with him as real, genuine friends. But Shuji could never speak such words, he could never bring himself to ask. Because Hanma Shuji meant nothing in the eyes of Kisaki Tetta.
"If there's nothing else left to say, I'll be on my way now," said Kisaki, readjusting his glasses before continuing, "I promise that following me will fill your days with entertainment." Because that is all that Kisaki believed that Hanma wanted, all that he needed to stick around.
"Right," said Hanma, looking back to watch Kisaki leave the scene. His golden eyes followed Kisaki's figure as he left; a sincere, solemn feeling prodding his heart. Shuji wanted nothing more than someone that saw him as a person, that saw him as a friend that he could rely on, as they would do to him. He just didn't know how to convey such platonic feelings, being unable to properly express himself in such vulnerable ways.
It was something that Shuji himself struggled to understand, as originally his only intention was to just follow Kisaki around just for entertainment, knowing that wherever Kisaki goes, chaos will follow. So he didn't expect this unforeseen attachment of his to happen, not expecting that he would hold more respect for the man than he originally grasped onto. But he supposed that it was only natural, as Hanma Shuji himself was an emotional being. He wasn't someone that knew how to control his feelings, nor how to mask them. He knew that he was an open book to many, being unable to control his expressions or his thoughts. It was just something that Shuji would have to learn how to control, learn how to hide and mask. Because he knew that he would never be anything but a tool— to anyone.
Once Tetta was gone and out of Shuji's sight, he then hopped off of the bridge's ledge before stuffing his hands into his Valhalla jacket pockets, deciding to himself that he might as well go look for one of the people that the Hanemiya boy asked him to look for. The first one that came to mind was Hajime Kokonoi, having already heard about his infamous reputation and his leading role in the world of underground fights. It was something that Shuji had gained an interest in some time ago, but never really had the motivation to go and visit himself.
Walking there didn't take long in his mind, already knowing the layout of Tokyo city by memory. Even in areas that he was unfamiliar with, it didn't take long before Shuji was able to adapt and reroute himself to the correct direction. He passed various people, whether they be the common civilian or some random criminal, fighting a few lonesome wannabe gangsters to relieve his stress along the way. Before long, Shuji found himself at a seemingly abandoned location with four walls and a roof; rebels and delinquents filling the area with their shouts, egging the competitors on as they betted their money on who would win. It was a sort of excitement that Hanma Shuji was tempted to participate in, feeling compelled to join in and fight.
Walking through the relatively small stadium, Hanma waited for his turn after signing in to fight. Having already been known as someone who was notorious for brutally fighting unsuspecting delinquents, there were multiple people who smartly betted on Hanma Shuji, otherwise known as 'The Reaper' in the gang world. He won each round that he was in, simultaneously paying attention to the spectators as his golden-colored eyes searched for snake-like ones. He had asked around between each round for a description of the organizer's appearance, his threatening aura being enough on its own to sway people into telling him. It only took a couple of hours before the sight of the man that he was looking for was in view, watching Hanma's duels with faint curiosity.
Hajime Kokonoi had heard that Shuji was looking for him, curious as to why someone like him would be interested in finding him. He suspected that it must have been related to Valhalla, but that assumption was easily dismissed after speaking more with the people that were interrogated by said adrenaline-loving man. According to him, he only had a message to relay from someone that, according to them, Kokonoi knows. Thinking that it wouldn't hurt to find out what was going on, Kokonoi ordered someone that once Shuji's fight was done, he would then be led to his 'office.' If Shuji was lying and it was nothing more than a waste of time, Shuji's wallet had hell to pay.
Once the last fight was over and done with, Hanma Shuji stood as victorious with each match that he came across, feeling bored and discontent with where he stood. There just wasn't anyone strong enough to entertain him. Suddenly, however, one of the referees directed him towards another room, leading him to where Kokonoi sat. It was strange to Hanma just how Kokonoi was able to organize such large groups of people with nothing more than his own strength and money, being the manipulative bastard that he was. But he supposed that Kokonoi's sense of control was much different than Kisaki's or even Kazutora's.
Sitting across the stripe-ly shaved man, Shuji crossed one leg over the other as silence bore itself inside the room. The referee was dismissed with the wave of Hajime's hand, leaving the two of them alone. Eventually, Hajime spoke, "So what brings you here? My dogs have informed me that you're here to give me a message from someone that I know. Although I don't fully believe it."
"Their claims are true," Shuji went on, "I have a message from Hanemiya Kazutora, since you know, he doesn't have a phone." Now, this caught Kokonoi's attention, waiting for Shuji to continue. "He said that he won't be able to meet up with you guys on your planned date, 'cause he's in the hospital."
"Why is he in the hospital?" Kokonoi inquired, furrowing his brows as he grabbed a nearby notebook, reviewing the schedules that he had written down. He supposed that now he could believe him, having been personally told by Kazutora himself that he didn't have a flip phone in his possession.
"Some group ganged up on him and gave him a spiral fracture, so he'll be out of commission for a while." Hanma briefly explained, to which Kokonoi nodded at.
The snake-like man then let out a hum, using a pen to mark out the date that he had placed for this weekend. "Why did they gang up on him?"
"Revenge. Apparently, Kazutora had fought two rival gangs last week and won, so they were pretty pissed and decided to jump him."
Kokonoi recalled that day, being one of the two people that took him to the hospital last week as well. He had originally doubted Kazutora's claims of winning, but after hearing this from another person, he couldn't help but believe it. "Did he win this time?"
"Yup," Hanma confirmed, popping the 'p,' "I was there to witness it."
"Did you not think to step in and help him?"
"Man, you ask a lot of questions. What are you, his mom? But no, it was none of my business and I hardly know the guy anyway."
Kokonoi narrowed his eyes, "Then why are you here as his messenger?"
"'Cause he had no one else to ask, duh? I was just there to provide a proposition for him to join Valhalla, not much else." Shuji was tired of being questioned, but if he wanted to get on the good side of Kazutora, cooperating with his acquaintances would be smart to do.
"Yes, I've heard of you Headless Angels. Say, tell me who the leader is and I'll give you a worthwhile stack of cash." Kokonoi leaned in, hoping that Shuji would accept his money. Nearly everyone wanted to know who led the vastly growing gang that somehow totaled in hundreds of members within only a few weeks to months, curiosity and attention spreading to everyone. Being in possession of such unknown information would be vital to know, although he doubted that Hanma would cooperate.
Hanma was quick to reject his proposal, not really being interested in money. "Nope, not tellin' 'ya." He was loyal to Kisaki Tetta, not some random guy and his money.
Kokonoi sighed, having already supposed that he would have said no. "Regardless," he began, leaning back, "I don't think Kazutora will accept. He's already been offered to become the new leader of the Black Dragons, for which he has already denied."
Hanma couldn't help but smirk in amusement, finding it interesting that Kisaki wasn't the first to reach him. "Really now? Well, we'll just have to see what happens then."
A few more moments of silence passed as Kokonoi organized his thoughts, putting away his notebook. "I'll inform Inupi. However, there is one last thing that I want to ask."
"What is it?" Hanma perked; all ears for his question. He was ready to answer and leave.
"What are you gaining from telling me all of this? Even if you were only there to ask for him to join Valhalla, I doubt that you would blindly listen to what he wants you to do without gaining something from it." Inquired Kokonoi, who was now observing the body language of the much taller male in front of him.
"He agreed to buy me juice." Hanma shrugged, disappointed that that was all that Kokonoi had to ask.
Hajime deadpanned, somehow finding it in him that he wasn't actually surprised to hear this. Shuji seemed to be a rather simple, one-track-minded person, after all. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously. Now can I leave?" Hanma asked in an uninterested tone, his voice sounding as if he was complaining about being in the same room as him. "This place is soo boring."
Kokonoi rolled his eyes, "Yes, you can leave."
Upon hearing this, Hanma grinned, immediately standing up from his spot on the cushioned chair before leaving the room in a hurry. Once he got to the door, he quickly turned around to stick his tongue out at him while also pulling down the lower part of one of his eyelids in a mocking manner; slamming the door behind him, Hanma then left the premises.
Kokonoi pursed his lips, rethinking his choices for bringing such a man into his so-called office. Just what kind of people does Kazutora associate himself with? He wondered, feeling uneasy with the idea that Kazutora was quickly gaining attention from so many people. Kokonoi wasn't ignorant, he was aware of the rumors that were quickly spreading around about the Hanemiya boy and what he's been doing. Kokonoi thought it to be important to keep tabs on Kazutora to ensure the protection of Inupi, not expecting at all about the information that he had to dig in to find.
Leaning back against his chair, Kokonoi released a breath of frustration, harshly furrowing his brows in thought. After spending a bit of money to pay info brokers, he learned of Kazutora's history in juvie and why he was there. The only thing that he didn't know was who he killed, although Kokonoi wasn't so interested in learning the identity of said dead person. Murder was murder, and there was an extremely low chance that it was anyone relevant to him or Inupi anyway.
As much as Kokonoi had initially thought that spending time with Kazutora would be entertaining, he couldn't help but be worried about the future ahead of them. If Inupi decides to stick around Kazutora for a longer period of time, would that mean that he along with himself will be dragged into Kazutora's mess? Kokonoi wasn't even sure if Kazutora was okay in the head after being sent to juvie for weaponized, accidental murder. The man was more than likely traumatized to some extent, and Kokonoi felt uneasy about the idea that someone who might hypothetically grow to be hysterical would hang around so closely to someone that Kokonoi cared about— that person (obviously) being Inupi.
Kokonoi struggled to sympathize with Kazutora, but he still felt a faint sense of remorse for the boy. However, he was completely skeptical and uncertain about continuing his relationship with him, thinking that maybe he would even grow to become a threat to both himself and Inupi. Now the question was whether or not Kokonoi should inform Inupi of all of the things that he has learned and whether or not he should persuade him to drop Kazutora out of his life.
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Kazutora was currently laying down on top of a hospital bed, covered with a thin layer of sheets and blankets. The room was cold, prickling at the skin of his face as he tried his damndest to fall asleep. But he couldn't, as Y/N's mind was traveling all over the place with flooded thoughts and overwhelming emotions. His breathing was unsteady, representing the amount of pressure that Y/N felt. They were burdened with so many tasks to do, and now that he was alone to process what had happened the previous day (it was now past midnight), they couldn't help but feel panicky. Everything was going so incredibly fast for them. Fucking hell, I've only been here for a few weeks and I've already run into so many canon characters and Hanma-fucking-Shuji of all people. I wasn't at all prepared to have to deal with him so soon. And the encounter with Takemichi? I shouldn't have agreed to eat with Hinata, even if it were to have hurt her feelings. Each thought of theirs ran at the speed of light; unorganized and messy, Y/N didn't know what to do with themself. What am I supposed to do, dammit? I had planned to train some more before the Valhalla arc began, but those fuckers from that insignificant gang just had to jump me and give me a spiral fracture. Kazutora breathed, doing their best to stop the flow of tears that escaped his eyes. I'm so scared. So fucking scared.
Y/N hated this, oh god did they hate this. They hated being in this world so, so much. Every fiber of their being dreaded each moment of living here, being unable to cope with the truth of the matter. Having already accepted the fact that this was their new reality did absolutely nothing to help them, as it has only seemingly done worse for them. They didn't want this life— Y/N never asked for it. Y/N was content, living a life before that was filled with so much promise to succeed, so much passion for their love of boxing and the enormously bright future that the public thought that they would have— only for all of it to be ripped away from them, forcing them into a world not their own, a world filled with ruthless violence that went beyond Y/N standard morals.
Why does God hate me so much? Y/N wondered, releasing a quiet sob as they gazed sadly at the ceiling. I just wanna go home.. The feeling of being homesick was apparent to them, burdening their emotions even more. As much as Y/N tried to distract themself throughout the days by doing various activities or filling their minutes by socializing, nothing could change the fact that internally, Y/N wanted nothing to do with any of it. Y/N missed their home, their own bedroom and kitchen. They missed those lazy days when they would lay on the couch, sometimes even seated with friends that visited them. Y/N missed their coach and their teammates, missing the times that they trained together and learned together. Everything. Y/N missed everything.
By the time it was morning, Kazutora had not consumed an ounce of sleep. Y/N just couldn't bring himself to as Kazutora's body felt wide awake throughout the duration of the night, not a single second begging him to sleep. After being briefly visited and checked up on by the doctors, Kazuotra was then left alone in his room to his own devices, being told that he should rest and get some sleep after they found out that he didn't. Y/N felt numb, their heart heavy with bottled-up feelings that they refused to spill once again.
After another dull hour had passed, the door to his room was opened, revealing a rather familiar redhead. Kazutora blinked in surprise, leaning up into a sitting position to give the entering friend all of his attention. "Mathew? You're okay?" Y/N let out, Kazutora's tense muscles relaxing in the presence of someone comfortably familiar.
Mathew plastered a wide grin, walking up to him with bandages on his face, "Of course I'm okay! I should be asking you that, really. When I overheard one of the nurses talking about some kid getting beat up as well, I just had to see who it was!"
"Weren't you the one that was mercilessly beaten, no?" Kazutora smiled, "I was just in a fight. Probably sent a few of them to the hospital, too."
"Yeah, but look at you... I'm just a bit bandaged up, but you're the one wearing a cast." Now that Robins had a closer look at Kazutora's face, his grin couldn't help but morph itself into a deep frown.
"That doesn't matter too much. What's wrong?" The Hanemiya boy questioned, noticing the sorrowful look on Mathew's face.
Mathew sheepishly glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Despite being an emotional person himself, he struggled to confront the field for others. "Your eyes are, uh, red and puffy. Are you okay?"
Kazutora once again blinked, having not realized that his eyes were swollen from all of the tears that he protruded. Y/N gave a sad smile, "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for asking, Otouto-kun."
Mathew's body stiffened upon hearing the word, his eyes widening in shock. "Otouto? As in, the word for little brother?"
Kazutora nodded in response, "Yeah, uh, is that okay with you?" Y/N was nervous about assuming too soon.
"Of course it's okay with me! I've even been wondering if me proclaiming you as my brother would've been too much the other night, but to hear that you're okay with it.. yeah, it makes me really happy!" Mathew has always wanted a sibling for himself, as he has always been an only child. He's never had anyone that he could seriously grow a bond with, and now was his chance to finally have what he's been wanting for so long. "I appreciate it a lot, you know.." He almost wanted to cry, his freckled face reddening from his gleeful emotions.
"Ah, I didn't expect that it would make you so emotional.." Kazutora trailed, feeling completely caught off guard by Mathew's reaction. Nonetheless, however, Y/N thought that Mathew was very sweet.
"Sorry, really.." Mathew hiccuped, bashfully looking away. I have a sibling now!
Kazutora softly smiled, "It's alright, Otouto-kun, you're okay."
As the morning went on, the two young boys spent their time together, talking about various topics to distract each other from the world around them. They joked and shared laughs, adding in stories about their past and discussing topics about their future. Their connection grew deeper, filling in the gaps of their lonely hearts. After a while of talking, a thought suddenly emerged in Y/N's mind.
"Mathew?" Y/N said in a questioning tone, pausing from their previous conversation.
"Yeah, what's up?" Mathew was now sitting down on the same chair that Shuji had sat down on before, hugging his knees up close to his chest.
Y/N was hesitant, although they knew that it would be considerate of them to ask. "..I was just wondering if you might be interested in learning how to box, since uh, you know.. you don't really fight."
"Are.. you offering to teach me?" Mathew curiously wondered, focusing his attention on the male in front of him. "Because if you are, then I accept. I refuse to learn from anyone else but you."
Y/N was surprised by how adamant Mathew was and the way he spoke without any hint of hesitation. It didn't even seem like Mathew had any second thoughts, answering him quickly within direct focus. "You sure are something..." Kazutora mumbled underneath his breath, letting out an intake of air, "Then we can start once I'm able to move around without much struggle." He then said in a louder volume, just enough for Mathew to hear.
Mathew cheekily grinned, excitement pooling into the bottom of his stomach, "I'll be waiting for that, then!"
Maybe, just maybe... being here won't be too bad.
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Kokonoi had arrived at Seishu's house some time ago in the morning, as the two of them had planned on hanging out together once again— something that they did nearly every day, in fact. He was now sitting down at the counter with bar stools, drinking a glass bottle of Japanese soda. Inupi was sitting down on the couch near him, busying himself with the television in front of him.
Recalling the information that Kokonoi had gathered on Kazutora, he suddenly felt hesitant about speaking with Inupi on the topic. Something inside him told him that the situation was far more serious than he anticipated, but he had no solid backing to it. It was just a stupid gut feeling that, in this case, Kokonoi chose to ignore as he turned to face the blonde-haired boy.
"Hey, Inupi." Spoke Kokonoi, catching the attention of said man. Seishu got up from the couch to turn off the television, thinking that not talking to him was probably boring Kokonoi to death.
"What's up?" The blonde inquired, mentally readying himself for the conversation ahead of him. Kokonoi had a rather strong personality that Seishu didn't always agree with, but he platonically loved him all the same. He just wasn't prepared for what Kokonoi would eventually say within the next few minutes.
"We need to talk about Kazutora," Kokonoi began, gazing as Inui Seishu clenched his jaw, "and I'm not saying this to personally attack him. I just think you should be aware of some things."
"Did you seriously look into Kazutora's personal life without his permission?" Seishu hissed out in a scolding voice, clearly displeased by what he was hearing. "I thought I told you not to. We promised him that we wouldn't invade his privacy!"
"Yes, but I care more about our safety than some silly promise that we gave to someone that we barely know, and—!" Kokonoi led on, only to be interrupted by Seishu. "What fucking safety? Does he look dangerous to you, that he would do more than what the average delinquent would do?"
"He was in juvie!" Kokonoi argued, beginning his case.
"So what if he was in juvie?! A lot of delinquents like us have to eventually face it! Juvenile delinquents are kids that do minor crimes! A lot of us have to face the consequences someday!" Seishu quickly defended, raising his voice. He felt angry and hurt on behalf of Kazutora, furrowing his brows as he straightened his posture.
Kokonoi tightly breathed in, balling up his fists as he forced himself to calm down. "He's a murderer, Inupi. He was in juvie for murder." His words quickly silenced the blonde-haired man, who then pursed his lips shut as he plopped himself back down onto the couch.
"How did you find this out?" Seishu eventually asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.
The Hajime boy sighed, letting out his intake of air as he mentally focused on calming his nerves, preparing himself for whatever Seishu might have to say in response. "A credible info broker told me, the one that we use often."
Seishu fell quiet, uncertain of how to arrange his thoughts. He looked down at his lap, an upset expression morphing its way onto his face. As much as he hated the fact that Kokonoi had betrayed Kazutora's trust and looked into his personal life, he couldn't deny that this information was important. "But we don't know the full story, do we?"
It took a few seconds for Kokonoi to respond, "No, we don't. All I know is that he broke into some biker's shop and accidentally killed the owner."
"What?" Seishu mumbled, his body stiffening upon hearing this. That sounds similar to... no, that can't be it. He can't be the one that killed him. His thoughts spiraled from there, completely canceling out the voice of Kokonoi as his breathing began to grow ragged and heavy, clutching his chest with his hand with a tight grip. He was having a panic attack, and Kokonoi quickly took notice of this. Seishu's body shook, a strong sense of anxiety overwhelming his nerves as Seishu soon grew to be disoriented and light-headed.
Kokonoi rushed to his side, having long forgotten his bottled soda as he kneeled in front of his beloved friend. "Inupi? Inupi!" He let out, unsure of what to do. "You're having a panic attack, so just focus on me, okay?" Hajime's voice was low and gentle, doing his best to not appear panicked himself.
Seishu could barely understand what he was saying, but nevertheless nodded. Kokonoi continued, "Try to slow down your breathing, okay? Let's work together to help you calm down." Guilt filled his consciousness, feeling as though this was entirely his fault for somehow triggering Inupi's anxiety. He should have been less insensitive, he should have brought the topic up in a more gentle manner than to just throw it on him, he should have— he paused his track of thoughts, refocusing his attention back to the one in front of him, the one that currently matters more than his own guilty thoughts. "I'm here, Inupi, I'm here," he attempted to soothe, slowly moving to sit down next to him, "breathe with me. Breathe."
The two of them sat there for a moment, Seishu eventually moving to hold onto Kokonoi in a tight embrace. Tears poured out of his eyes like a baby, and he couldn't help but sob into Kokonoi's shoulder at the flood of memories that had entered his mind. He never once recovered from the deaths of his loved ones, and Sano Shinichiro was simply one of them.
"Kazutora couldn't have, ah, killed Shini.. Shinichiro, right?" Seishu seemed to beg at the hope that he didn't, recalling the events when he was informed of such passing.
Kokonoi struggled to respond, doing his best to pick his words wisely. He knew of the eldest Sano's relationship with Inupi, but he didn't know the full extent of it. He didn't even know that mentioning Kazutora's reason for being in juvie would have brought up such a memory. "I.. I don't know. I don't think so, 'cause uh.. the chances are too low for it to be true, right?"
"Right, right.." Seishu murmured, digging his forehead in the crook of Kokonoi's neck, his arms completely wrapped around the black-haired male. Kokonoi did not mind this— in fact, he rather enjoyed the idea that Inupi found comfort in his presence, even if his words were the cause of his turmoil. It only showed just how close their friendship was. Seishu then continued, "I-.. I need to ask him, at the uh, very least, you know? I have to, I have to. Just to be sure."
By this point, Seishu's breathing levels had calmed down to a certain extent, although his voice still stuttered and his throat still hiccupped. His heart ached with grief, not liking the idea that Kazutora may have really been the cause of the death of someone that he respected so highly. It killed him inside, it really did, because Seishu had so much hope for the friendship between him and Kazutora that seemed to immediately flourish. They had nice compatibility, and he loved to hear the playful bickering between him and his best friend. It felt so good, so normal to be in the presence of such a man; he couldn't accept the possibility right at this moment, but he knew that he needed to hear it from Kazutora himself.
Kokonoi looked nothing but guilty, his face speaking volumes about the emotions that he was currently experiencing; scrunched up and just sad, sad for Inupi and sad that he was the reason why he relived such painful feelings. "I understand.." He finally let out in response, doing his best to be considerate of Seishu's feelings instead of his own. "I'll be here for you each step of the way."
If only those thoughts of his weren't true. Maybe things would have been different.
A/N: Heya, I just wanna ramble about something that's probably not all too relevant to you guys as my audience, but means a lot to me.
So last saturday (which was Oct 1st) I had an absolutely shitty day at work that really drained me, but when I came back and read all of your comments after my upload of chapter ten, it really, really made me feel happy and uplifted, like as if all of my mental energy had returned to me. I just want to let you guys know just how impactful you guys are over my days, and that I appreciate each and every one of you, especially to the recurring readers that pop up w/ every update. I always look forward to seeing you guys. :)
Anyways, on to plot points!
I love being canon, so I always like to heavily research into characters that I am writing about in order to be as accurate as can be— but. uh. yeah. I don't think I can 100% do that for Hanma. I genuinely, at this point, have made a strong attachment to his character just like I have for Inupi, so I don't know if I can be totally accurate with his dynamic with Kazutora. My heart just won't allow it. So instead of making him out to be a significant antagonist in the story like I had originally planned to, I might abruptly turn the steering wheel and go in a different direction.
Hanma is an extremely complex character that I wasn't initially expecting when I originally looked into him. Like, sure, he's a sadistic and cruel character that feels strong euphoric emotions during fights, but he has a lot more depth than that. I mean, he became friends with Kisaki of all people and even cried for him, meaning that he has the ability to create close relationships with people and form strong bonds with them, or at the very least be emotionally attached to them. Ignoring this side of him and focusing solely on his negatives just doesn't sit right with me, and with how I plan on using MC, it just wouldn't make sense to. Whenever I am building a relationship within the story of Abience, I am not looking at "oh, who was Kazutora the closest to and who did he get along with?" like, sure, I am definitely considering those relationships, but my main focus is whether or not MC will get along with them. MC has a different personality than Kazutora, so how canon characters react will be different than how they would have to the typical Kazutora shown in the manga. And how I have built MC and how I plan on developing them, there will be hugely different dynamics that you wouldn't otherwise expect.
I hope you all understand and won't be too mad if I stray away from some canon aspects, because as much as I love to be canon, there will always be a few exceptions that will fall under my headcanons so that I, as the author, torture myself by growing exceedingly more attached to certain characters than I already was. :)
Also, when you guys share your thoughts about what you think might happen in the future, it always gets me gOING. Like sometimes ya'll hit the nail with what I plan on doing before it's introduced and I'm sitting there asking myself, like, do we share the same brain or something?? And I don't plan on changing the course just because y'all guess something right, because I know just how satisfying it is to be right. I have this story published on both quotev and wattpad, and seeing all of your comments and ideas brings me joy. Love you all sm !!