After spending the last few hours inside the office, crying for everything I feel like I'm losing, I wipe my tears, stepping inside my bedroom, swallowing the lump in my throat when I spot Daryl sitting on the bed, fiddling anxiously with an arrow from his crossbow. With a quick glance, I realize he's been waiting for my return. Stifling my pride, heading towards the chair that I set my clothes and weapons atop. I turn my back on Daryl, peeling off the shorts and oversized shirt.
"I packed the twins up. They are fed and ready." Daryl quietly offers.
Without peering over at my husband, I let my hair fall around me as I pull the black top over my head, "thanks." Spotting, the bags sitting on the bed next to the babies babbling away, I begin to rile around, double checking his work. "Right, good." Relieved they have everything Charlee and Wren could possibly need in the coming days. My eyes land on a double harness sitting next to the angels, cocking my head, baffled.
"Get dressed. That's part of somethin' I've been wantin' to give ya." He orders. When I glance over at him, his eyes soften. I survey his face for a moment, finding sadness and, dare I say, regret? I nod, acknowledging his request.
Barely ten minutes later, I'm back in my ass kicking attire with my swords across my back. My hair is in a braid. Daryl assisted in helping place the two harnesses across my chest, securing the twins close, so they are unable to wiggle out. We walk in silence as he guides me the out of the door of the sanctuary. I elect not to ask any questions. It doesn't help that I'm still angry over last nights fight.
But the anger is quickly snuffed out at the sight before me.
Daryl faces me as my gaze lands on a solid black 2001 Honda Glowing. I let out a gasp, falling in love with machine almost instantly. "I couldn't let ya go alone on a horse. I made ya a promise when ya lost your bike." He gestures towards the motorcycle, "Aaron found it and I fixed it up." He grabs the bags from my hands, setting them just right so nothing would fall out on the trip. "I need ya to be safe. I need all of ya to be safe. This is better than ridin' a horse."
I smirk, "are you sure? Your bike looks pretty fucked up against this one."
He matches it with his own smile, "this one is safer for ya three, I'm sure." He drags me into an embrace, leaving a kiss to the top of the twins heads, "now get outta here so ya can be back here before I get back." Without replying, I step out of his embrace, kicking my legs over. The same giddiness I felt when I sat atop my last bike returns. It fits my body like a glove. I allow the shit eating grin to paint my face. "Before ya go, I wanna apologize. I ain't been the best with ya, and I'm sorry. I'm gonna try to do better for ya and our family."
"Thank you, Daryl. See you on the other side, redneck." I turn on the engine, I kick up the the rocks along the pavement, leaving the sanctuary in the rear view mirror for a few hours.
I park my motorcycle next to Daryl's, realizing he had somehow returned before me; though, I did stay longer than I originally intended to spend time with and talk to Charlee and Wren for several hours. I hate being away from my friends. Charlee decided she wanted to come with me back to the sanctuary after hearing the night I endured with Daryl and his wrath; I also came clean about my sighting of Owen a year ago. With Tori promising that she and Wren have it covered with the twins, reminding me that she did raise five boys close in age, I reluctantly agree. Before taking our leave, I made sure to drop in on Negan's cell. I kept my findings inside his office to myself, but I'm able to see him in a new light. I apologized for my outburst the last time I had visited him, and mentioned my suspicions about Owen lurking around. He seemed unsurprised by my interaction with Justin, just warning me to keep an eye out. He was nice enough to offer up a list of people to watch more carefully. I took it graciously.
Charlee still isn't a fan of Negan. She watched our interaction through narrowed, weary eyes. She still blames him for her brothers demise. I can't say I blame her; she's always been notorious for holding tight onto a grudge. Though, she understands why I shown him mercy.
When realizing I wasn't alone, Negan observed her with the same weariness I could tell she was feeling. This is the first time they've been personally introduced. I spot some recognition in his eyes when his gaze finds her. He's seen her fight at my side, but his face twists in regret when learning that Kelly was her twin. From my understanding, she threatened Owen when Jordan's life was cut short. I vaguely remember Negan was speaking with her when he returned me to Alexandria after Owen's attack. She declined his apology for his hand in Kelly's death. He accepted it without an argument.
When leaving his cell, Charlee asked me how I could befriend the man who killed so many of us; my only response was that I can see a lot of myself in him. We were the villains in his story while he was ours. She accepted my answer, though, not liking it.
We walk into the sanctuary side by side as voices raise with praise. Charlee glances in my direction curiously. I shrug, unsure of what's going on. But within seconds, I spot Rick in a crowd of saviors, speaking amongst them. Ah, that makes sense. They prefer Rick and Daryl over me, but I killed some of these people in cold blood when I crashed through the doors after Kelly and Carl died. I can't blame them.
Daryl's gruff tone reaches my ears as he commands Justin to clean up a mess. I grab Charlee's shoulder, seeing words painted along the wall; we are still Negan. I scoff, shaking my head.
"Is that normal?" She whispers into my ear. I shrug my shoulders when I bring my eyes to meet hers. When taking over leadership at my husbands side, I expected some dissent growing with the saviors that are still loyal to Negan's rule. Daryl and I have to beat one back almost daily.
"Welcome back Warrior Dixon." Jerry grins, embracing me in his arms, "everything went well in your absence." His gaze finds Charlee, "hello Charlee."
Charlee smiles warmly at the bigger man, "hello Jerry."
Michonne stalks up to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, bringing me in for a quick hug. "About time you joined us, Vanessa. We missed you out there."
I wince, "yeah, sorry. Motherhood comes first now, Mich. I had to take the twins back to Alexandria so I can join you guys in the field. How did it go?"
"I understand." Her dark face twists in pain, "we lost someone out there." I purse my lips at the news, casting my eyes down, feeling the sadness gliding along my flesh. "How are they doing?" She inquiries. "You look great."
"Good. Stubborn as hell; but I think that's the Dixon blood talking."
Charlee chuckles, "you keep saying that, but I'm pretty sure that's all their mother."
Michonne laughs with us while I shake my head, smirking at Charlee's words. I can't argue with that.
Daryl's Georgian blue eyes meet mine at the sound of my voice carrying through the air. I nod, leading Charlee through the crowd of onlookers. We take the stairs, leaning over the railing, watching everyone for only a few minutes. Growing tired, I face my best friend, "I'll show you to your room. It's getting late, Char." She agrees, following me as I lead her through the maze of rooms.
I'm inside the nursery, frowning. I reach into Kellin's crib, gripping his small white snowy owl stuffed animal. I gifted my son with the same one Daryl gave me at the prison before I fell under the sickness. I miss my children already, but they need as many bodies as they can get on the field tomorrow. I keep reminding myself that it's only a few days until I can return to them.
I hope it's only a few days, I grown inwardly. Things have been going too well with the communities over the last year. It's only a matter of time before something happens, causing all of this to crash to the ground.
"There you are." I peer over my shoulder, seeing Rick cross his arms, leaning against the doorframe. "Why aren't you resting for tomorrow?"
I shrug, "I don't think I've truly rested since we came here." I return the owl, turning my body towards Officer Friendly, placing my back against the crib, giving him my full attention. My hands seek out the wood along the crib frame.
He nods, "Daryl said you two are unhappy here."
I smirk, feeling a rush of mixed emotions. "Yeah," is all I offer.
"You know, he also said you two haven't been getting along." I chew on my lip, not willing to give my answer. It doesn't hinder our ability to monitor this community. "I think he misses the small group we had at the beginning. He mentioned we could have done anything and now we are all scattered."
"You know, he's right. It was simple. But you brought everyone together. You did this. I'm proud of you. We don't always agree, but I never had an issue being under your leadership."
I watch as he glances around the room, considering my words, "I'm proud of you, too. I see you standing before me, a wife and a mother. You're far from that girl we encountered in the woods. I barely recognize you. I'm glad you joined us." His eyes survey my face, "I'm glad you stayed. I know you considered leaving at the farm. You and Daryl okay?" He suddenly asks.
I run a nervous hand along my pants, uncomfortable at the sudden change of subject. "It's about the same as it has been for the last year."
"You two will be alright. Parenthood changes a lot, too." Hs eyes land on Caroline's crib. I watch as he starts to scrutinise a picture of the twins and I that Wren had taken the day before I returned to Daryl's side. "Motherhood looks good on you, Vanessa." He grins, looking behind him as if he hears someones approach.
Carol seemingly appears from behind Rick, smiling. "I spoke with Daryl. You two are off the hook here for awhile. He wanted me to let you know that you two are leaving with Rick and Michonne first thing in the morning." Her eyes find Rick, "I'm staying here."
I close my eyes, feeling relief spiral around me. "Thank you," I breathe out. When this bridge is repaired, I can return to Alexandria instead of here.
Rick peers between the two of us, "We are going to Hilltop tomorrow."
My face falls at the words, "I can help set up the -" Maggie isn't going to let me walk through the gate.
Rick shakes his head, "nah, I'll talk to Maggie. Get some rest. We are all going to need it."