a/n: I'm back! Hi... hello
***
Thanks
June doesn't know if Christian's response is mere sarcasm or genuine appreciation. Either way, she finds it difficult to stop glancing over at him in English.
Mrs Nilsson has taken it upon herself to form groups and pairings - a decision in which many teachers would allow the students to take full accountability. Though from June's understanding Mrs Nilsson found it was impossible to get the students to pay attention for longer than five minutes on a task that should have total concentration.
June feels content with the group she's assigned to today. While she isn't paired with Christian, she isn't with Maeve either, sick at home with a runny nose.
She has no self-control with her gaze. At least with Maeve, her focus can remain somewhat in control. Instead, June is surrounded by peers she doesn't associate with, and a Nilsson twin who she can't stop staring at.
For the most part, June doesn't tease Christian at all. She's refrained from making comments about his lack of participation, or sneaking in chats with his mates beside him. His blazer is hanging on his chair, and he's been grinning all throughout class...
His patronizing note is tucked in her pocket.
She has no idea what Mrs Nilsson is talking about - more symbolisms and metaphors - but she's taking down notes regardless. From the corner of her eye, Christian sinks into his chair and rolls his neck.
He stops at her.
Before she can do anything, perhaps smile in his direction, he turns his attention back to the front.
In groups, she attempts to contribute, but the only thing she can do is point out obviously known facts stated in the text. English has always been a sore spot for June. Perhaps she has taken more of her dad's traits than she originally thought. His math abilities have surely passed down to June in a way the logic of languages hasn't with her mum.
And speaking of parents...
Mrs Nilsson walks to different groups but stops at Christian's for a lot longer. June's under the impression that the school wouldn't allow parents of students - especially parents who are teachers - to get in the way of the professional attire they set out to achieve. Mrs Nilsson doesn't take on favourites, as she's demonstrated multiple times on multiple occasions with Christian. It's refreshing to know the length of Christan's popularity stops at his mother.
"Okay everyone," Mrs Nilsson announces with the clapping of her hands. "Please assign one person from each group to present two findings within the text. I don't want to hear repeated answers."
June lets out a sigh of relief when someone from their group immediately directs the responsibility to themselves. She doesn't remember their name until Mrs Nilsson calls on them.
The attention of the class is on them. Christian, too.
But it's on her.
She can't help the shiver that takes her whole. What is his problem?
He smiles.
It's gone in a split second.
The confusing part is that she smiles back.
Everyone's focus is on the table behind them, and June faces the other direction immediately. Still, the back of her neck hair remains standing.
The following group is next. Christian stands up.
Well, fuck. Where else is she supposed to look now?
"In the text, when the main character mentions running through a field being chased by two black crows with feathers as shiny as a mirror, it can be seen as a metaphor that crows are a reflection of his parents that always hover over him, and that's backed up with the simile between the feathers and mirror."
June almost - almost - rolls her eyes back in her head. Make it make sense.
"And our second one," he continues, looking around the class briefly, "is when the main character finds his enemy through the field and protects him by drawing salt in the ground, which then wards off the crows. We said the salt was a symbol of their truce. They find refuge within each other..."
June's breath does a sudden take in. He looks at her again.
"...and solitude from the world outside."
Mrs Nilsson nods. "Well done. Group three. You're next."
June blinks and presses her fingers to his note. She makes the decision there and then. Be damn with the sudden uprise of her heart taking on more beats than she would prefer.
When the bell rings, the anticipation releases and she moves.
Knives. That's what it feels like when she opens her mouth to say, "Hey."
Christian's response is a mere blink. Great.
She clears her voice. "You...made some good points in class."
"So did you," he says, picking up his books.
"That was under a one-fifth ratio. Unless contribution of acknowledgment counts."
She could die right here. What is wrong with her vocabulary? She doesn't talk like this.
When he doesn't say anything, she falls back on the very last point of her internal list.
She gestures to his blazer. "I see you grabbed your blazer back from the library. It's a good thing it wasn't given in to lost and found."
She waits as a grin grows on his face. Her hand is crushing the note in her pocket. This is it, the bridge they need; they're both going to acknowledge what they're doing. All the note passing. The change of lockers. These secret conversations.
"Yes. My brother gave it back to me just before lunch finished. Luckily, or else I'd waste time making a trip there instead of leaving school when everyone else would."
Humiliation sweeps over her. She completely forgot about Zachary. Of course, he would.
"Oh, yeah that would suck." A nervous chuckle. "Well, glad you got it back."
At that point, Christian walks away at the call from Finn waiting by the door. And June dashes to leave with the hopes of never, ever mentioning the blazer conversation again.
In fact, she hopes bad enough, she brings out a pen and paper from her locker.
Just admit you don't want to speak to me in person so then I won't have to try. Stop pretending you want to be nice to me. Next time I won't tell you about your damn blazer.
***
MAEVE:
You are not going to believe this...
PHOEBE:
Did something happen with Ryan?
MAEVE:
Actually you will believe it
Let me have my moment
JUNE:
We're listening
Though I shouldn't
MAEVE:
He asked me to the movies
I repeat
JUNE:
Since you ditched me
In English
KIM:
HOLY SHIT!!!
MAEVE:
HE ASKED ME TO THE MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
PHOEBE:
In what way???
JUNE:
Congrates!! This is sooo exciting!!!!
PHOEBE:
Okay but in what way???
Like as a friend or a date?
MAEVE:
I'm sorry Juuuuuune!!!
You know I wouldn't have left you on purpose
IT BETTER BE IN A DATE WAY @phoebe
KIM:
When are you guys going out???
I want details!
You're coming over so we can get you ready
JUNE:
It's fine @maeve
I know you're over me
But I love you so you're forgiven
PHOEBE:
Kim's getting sad
She wants to know the details
JUNE:
We were in the middle of a breakup
That's sadder
KIM:
Pleassssssssssssse just tell us!!!
MAEVE:
This Friday at 7
***
Friday's are June's favourite days of the week. There's no particular reason other than the freedom she feels once the final school bell rings. Plus Maeve hasn't been able to mention anything other than the date she has with Ryan later.
It also means she has the weekend to get over this whole absurdity thing with Christian. The note she left in the Bible was gone. There was no response. The message was loud and clear. June can't be more grateful than knowing the truth.
Though she'd lie if anyone asks how she really feels about it.
She's taking the bus today. Her parents know she's going to Phoebe's place for dinner, and then be back by nine.
Phoebe is with her. Kim is still at school with Maeve who needs to stay back to catch up on her Business class with a promise that they'll go to Phoebe's place together once she's done. It's one of the reasons why June likes that there are four of them; no one gets left behind.
"I need to ask you something," June says when Phoebe and she are settled in their seats, bags on their lap. She lowers her voice. "It's about him."
Phoebe arches a brow. "There are a lot of males involved right now. I'm going to ask for more details."
"Christian," she mouths, too afraid one of the girls around them might hear. "And the notes," she adds a little higher.
Phoebe waits with a blank expression.
June continues. "I called it quits."
"Really?"
"Yesterday. We interacted. I tried to bring it up, what we were doing. And he shut it down."
"He shut it down?"
"Yes," June says. "Like he didn't want to mention it at all. And I panicked. So I wrote him a note to end it all."
Phoebe frowns. "When you say, 'to end it all', you meant..."
"I'm done, Bee. You'll never see me write a note to him again."
"Oh. I see." Phoebe nods. "Well, that's good."
The reaction isn't what June expects. It's the complete opposite.
And yet, she somehow saw it coming.
"You don't believe me," June says. She sinks back into the bus seat as it makes its first stop. Some students walk out. "I get it. I don't have a good track record when it comes to this. But that whole encounter made me realise that he only wants to keep things secret. Okay? He's only doing it to keep face."
"Yeah," Phoebe says. "That doesn't sound out of the norm."
June pinches her brows together. "What?"
The slow exhale Phoebe lets out shows exactly how limited her patience for June is. She almost feels bad about bringing up the entire thing. A sliver of her doesn't. "Girl, you've been at each other's throats for a long time. It's not going to magically go away, even if you two are, you know, being somewhat civil with each other elsewhere."
"I know that. But what should I expect? Just constant anger and disgust despite it being different on paper?"
"Well, how different are we talking about?"
June checks around her. Another bus stop approaching. "I brought up the thing he did to me in year ten, Bee. He said he was sorry."
Phoebe's mouth part. "You're kidding."
"I'm not. And he thanked me when I brought up his blazar being left in the library." She lets out a sigh. "I'm trying to be nice. I have Zachary teaching me, and I think he is being nice too, but then that happened and... I'm so conflicted."
Her friend shakes her head. "Oh my God, you give me whiplash. What the hell do you mean Zach is teaching you? You're not making sense."
The bus stops at the main route, allowing students to get on a different server. June follows Phoebe to the one that stops before her house, her brain trying to come up with the short version of her whole deal with Zachary. But as they settle in the two seats near the back door, she spots a Nilsson twin jumping on.
Her heart starts beating wildly in her ears. Or is that the rushing sound of blood, June isn't sure. She thinks they're one and the same. Phoebe gasps beside her before letting out an uncaring chuckle.
"The universe hates you right now."
He makes his way to the back of the bus.
It's Zachary.
His grin puts her brain on fire.
"You made this so easy for me."
June's brain completely shuts down. "Huh?"
He comes up behind them at the empty seat, bag on his passenger, and leans on Phoebe's headrest. "I need your number so we can plan around our meetings. It's really hard finding you at school and I don't want to grab you from class again."
June looks between Phoebe's amused expression to Zachary's calm one and wonders where she went wrong.
"I thought we agreed to lunches."
Zachary frowns. "No, I don't think we did."
"As if you want to spend all your lunches with him," Phoebe says.
Zachary exaggerates his hurt and rubs his chest. "Damn, why so cold? Maybe she does want to spend all her lunches with me. I'm the best company." He looks back at June with a grin. She tries to ignore Phoebe's laughter. "Besides, we made a deal."
"Deal's off," she responds. "I don't need your help anymore."
Zachary sat up straighter at the same time as the bus went around a corner. "Wait, why?"
"Well, circumstances have changed. Being nice is leading me nowhere and the person has decided they like our relationship just as it is."
Phoebe shakes her head. "Because you didn't give it enough of a chance."
"So, you're not going to help me with my math?" Zachary asks.
Phoebe's eyes widen. "You're not helping him with math? June! You help me all the time."
"Because you help me with English," she replies.
"But I was helping you," Zachary says.
"I don't need it anymore."
"I think you do," Phoebe says.
June's eyes flash a warning to her friend. "As I said, it's changed now. There's no point to it anymore."
"So you're going to go back on your word because you've decided the offer no longer suits your needs without informing your business partner of these changes." Phoebe clicks her tongue. "That's not how deals are made."
"It's really not," Zachary adds.
Yes, June admits they're starting to weigh her down. She doesn't like it, it's so unnecessary. Especially when she knows they're doing it to her on purpose for their own agendas. Phoebe, for her own entertainment, and Zachary, for his own personal needs. June won't rule out that it's probably entertaining him as well seeing her in a corner, peer-pressured by her own friend nonetheless. Still. It's unfair.
Thankfully no one else on the bus seems to care what the three of them are discussing. The situation may have ended up being a completely different result.
June then sighs, closes her eyes, and blanks her mind. "Fine. Pass me your phone."
"My phone's dead," he says. "Pass me yours."
"What if you write down the wrong number on purpose?"
"Why would I do that?"
June shares a look with Phoebe. Phoebe accepts it, but it doesn't look like she agrees with her silent comment. Of course, anyone can agree that Christian and Zachary are different people despite being twins. Yet that's enough for June to question it. They're twins. They have to have some similarities.
"Maybe you want to mess with me," June says with confidence. She gives him a knowing grin. "Maybe you just want a little fun and prank me."
"Wow," Zachary and Phoebe comment together. So weird how they unconsciously decide to team up against her. "That's not the reason at all," Zachary says. "I don't know why anyone would go through the lengths I have just to get someone's number. For pure reasons, might I add?"
"We got on the same bus," June says. "It's not that hard."
This time, Zachary rolls his eyes. "This isn't my bus. It's all the way back towards the city."
June sits up straighter in her seat. She ignores Phoebe's gasp. Again. "You know we're not even close to the city."
"Yeah, I know."
"You followed me on the wrong bus just to get my number?"
Zachary hangs his head low. "Yeah, I get it, it's going to cause a bit of an issue for me to get home. But I'm serious, June. I really need your help. I've got a test on Monday and I need to get this shit down or else I'm screwed."
"Jesus fuck, June. Just give the guy your phone."
"All right!" She doesn't fight it anymore. She's already swimming in guilt. "Just hurry up so you can get off the bus."
As Zachary types into her phone, he says, "Why, had enough of me today?"
"It's so you can stop wasting time and get back home before it gets dark."
"Well, I wouldn't want to grab public transport now. I'll need to charge my phone first and then get an Uber home. You don't know what they do to teenagers nowadays after a certain time."
"What phone do you have?" Phoebe asks.
June knows what's happening before Zachary replies back with, "Apple."
Phoebe hums in agreement. "You can come back with us. I've got a charger for you to use."
"Yeah, thanks. I appreciate that."
"It's not a problem."
June wonders if those last comments were a private jab at her.