" Help your brother's boat across, and your own will reach the shore." - Hindu Proverb
Kamran
If there was one thing that everyone who knew me would agree on, it was this: I was a patient man.
But patience too has a limit, and I had just about reached it now. It had been four years since I had spent a weekend in the presence of the woman that I would end up falling in love with for her intellect as much as her pretty face. Four agonizing years where I had to stop myself from emailing her, or picking up the phone and calling her. Because where would any of that have led us except for more frustration and distractions? We literally lived on two different continents, in time zones that were 12 hours apart, and even when I was 'home', it was in a different city than hers.
Well, the wait is over, I gleefully told myself as the airport taxi dropped me off outside my home in Islamabad at 3 am on June 1st.
That was the day I was also done with my first 2 years of PhD. Whether or not I would be able to complete my PhD requirements in the next year were still up in the air. But at this point I couldn't care less if I followed in my brother's footsteps or not. I just wanted to get married.
I chuckled at myself as I rang the bell on our front door.
Maybe stop getting ahead of yourself. Farah hasn't even agreed to marry you yet!
"Dulhe sahaab, finally shaadi karvane aagaye hain aap?", Komal smirked as she opened the door in her pajamas. (Dear bridegroom, are you finally here to get married?)
"Haha...very funny", I laughed, but couldn't help giving her a bear hug and adding, "Shaadi bhi karva lun ga, pehla rishta bhej ke uss ki razamandi tou pooch lun" (I'll get married too, but I have to send a proposal to her and get her consent first)
I stepped in to the dimly lit foyer, as Komal helped me pull the rest of my bags in.
"Where is everyone?", I looked around at empty living room, feeling that pang of jealousy again as I remembered the welcome reception my older two brothers would get when they returned from abroad, no matter the time of the day.
Komal gave me a sympathetic look, "It's late Kamran, and Ami and Abu are getting old"
"Their age is a factor only for me, isn't it? If Ahad was...", I started to mutter when a sleepy gruff voice interrupted me, stepping out of the dark hallway.
"If Ahad what?", my older brother asked as he rubbed his eyes and extended his hand to greet me.
It had been two years since I had seen him, and our history wasn't one that resulted in us having anything other than minimal communication when we were not physically in the same place. Yet, he had also saved Farah's life, and for that I would be forever grateful to him.
Maybe that is why I pulled him in for a bear hug too, surprising him, and greeted him with a big smile.
"What's gotten into him?", he asked Komal with a chuckle.
She winked at me, "You'll find out tomorrow"
"You two are so weird...", Ahad shook his head, "But go to sleep now. Abu has called for a family meeting tomorrow at breakfast"
"At breakfast? Why?", Komal and I asked almost in unison.
We were used to these family meetings when we were younger. Typically held after dinner, Abu always called these when our family had to make some important decisions. Though often these were meetings where Abu told us that he was making some decision(s) and we needed to be quiet and accept them.
This time he winked at us, "You'll find out tomorrow", he said, before disappearing back into his room.
"Well, I guess you will have the perfect opportunity to tell everyone your news too!", Komal pointed out with a grin before she too disappeared into her room, leaving me alone in the living room that reminded me of the first time Farah had stepped into this house.
The memories from that day were as vivid now as they were the day she stood at this house's doorstep. Or that moment that she had stood behind our hotel, a cup of chai in one hand, my heart in the palm of her other.
Back in my room, I unravelled the roll of canvases hidden away under my bed. My fingers caressed the innermost one, outlining that messy hair bun and those graceful hands wrapped around my cup of chai.
"I am going to make you mine", I whispered at the figure in the painting, almost expecting her to turn around so I could watch that beautiful smile spread across her face, placing a hold on me that I hadn't been able to free myself from even after all these years.
The next morning though, I would seriously question whether or not I was the man for her. Afterall, who could protect her, love her and respect her, more than the man who put his own life on the line for her, and wanted to make her his.
*****
"Aao beta, did you get in ok last night?", Ami asked me as I walked into the dining room the next morning. (Come son)
"Ji Ami, thank you. I did", I smiled back at her, at least she was always civil to me.
"Assalam Alaikum Abu", I greeted the tall solemn figure sitting at the head end of the table. His presence still petrified me, just it had when I was a young boy who needed his parents' signature on failing test scores.
"Walaikum Assalam", he said without looking up from the newspaper he held in his hands.
There was silence in the room after that as Komal, Ahad, Ami and I sat there quietly eating the omelette and paratha, our standard breakfast on the weekends.
"When will you finish your PhD?", my father's voice came from behind the newspaper.
"I'm not sure Abu. My mentor changed my initial project so..."
"Excuses, excuses...", he growled, finally putting his morning paper down and glaring at me with his steely grey eyes, "When will you stop making excuses for your laziness?"
"I am not lazy...", I started to defend myself, something I wouldn't have bothered doing even a couple of years ago. But if I was going to bring Farah into this family, there was no way in hell that I would let my father treat me like a doormat, and by default her. To my surprise, I didn't have to do much standing up. My brother actually had my back, or so I thought in that moment.
"Abu, his mentor changing the project is not exactly under his control", Ahad said, his voice cool, calm and collected, immediately putting out the fire my father was breathing.
"Chalein chorain parhai ki baatein, Tanvir. Abhi jiss kaam ke liye sub ko bulaaya hai woh karein", Ami placed a hand on our father's and he immediately softened his expression. (Come on leave these talks about studying. Tanvir. Let's talk about the task that we have called everyone for)
Abu's gaze moved away from me, and onto his other son. And maybe I was imagining it, or it was the years of living in the shadows of my older brother and knowing it, but I swear my father's eyes always changed color when he looked at Ahad. Just like they were taking on that pearly hue of pride when he looked at his son now.
"Fine begum", he looked at Ami and nodded respectfully, before taking a deep breath and continuing.
"Our oldest Akbar is already happily married, MashaAllah. And now that Ahad is done with his studies, and had returned to Pakistan, your mother and I think he should be get married as well. And your Ami has picked the perfect girl for him, so we will be calling her parents with a rishta this weekend"
Komal squealed in delight, "Really? Another wedding? Oh my! This is going to be awesome"
She swung her arms around Ahad and squeezed till he pretended to suffocate. Of course, I was happy for him too, after all he was my brother.
"Congrats man!", I nodded to him and he gave me a small smile in return.
"Who's the girl? When do we get to meet her? She better not be a nerd like Ahad", Komal fired off questions to my parents.
"Oh the two of you know her", Ami smiled at us, "Remember Farah?"
Farah
There was silence around me then. Mouths were moving, hands were gesturing and at least one pair of shocked eyes were staring at me. But my world had stopped for a moment, while the words of my mother sank in. It felt like I was in an alternate universe...like Bizarro World. One where my brother finally looked at me like a human, but took my life as well.
"Farah who?", I asked, my voice choking on the thick emotions that clogged my throat.
Komal
"Farah Asad", Ami replied to Kamran cheerily, "Do you remember that girl who went with us to Naran? That's her"
There was a slow motion disaster happening right in front of me, on that dining table. The color had completely drained from one of my brother's face while the other sat there with his cheeks a shade of ruby. A few seconds passed, my mother and father focused on their older son and the upcoming call they were planning to make to his future in-laws. Neither noticing that their younger one had seemed to stop breathing.
"Kamran", I reached out to touch his hand.
That snapped him out of his trance, and he swung his hand to push mine away, missing me completely but sending his ceramic mug and plate onto the tiled floor. The shattering noise that pierced through the jubilation of the rest of my family finally made them acknowledge my twin.
"Yeh kya batameezi hai Kamran?", Abu's voice roared. (What are these bad manners?)
But Kamran had already bolted out of that room, slamming the door shut on his way out infuriating my father even more.
"What's wrong with him?", Ahad asked, obviously confused.
"What's wrong with you? Farah is not yours", I snapped back at him before running out to follow my other brother.
I found him in his bedroom, sitting on his bed, his head buried in his hands.
"Kamran"
"Go away", his voice broke.
"I will...as soon as you march back in there and tell them about you and her"
"There is no me and her", he shot me a teary look, "Don't you get it? Ahad wants her, and he effing always gets what he wants"
The tears in his eyes were transforming into rage, like a volcano erupting, unnerving me as I desperately tried to calm him down.
"But she doesn't want him, Kamran. She wants you"
Kamran's eyes narrowed at me, "Are you sure? Because he met her only a year ago, he saved her life, he is the one who has a job and can actually support her. I haven't even met her for four years. What the hell do I have to give her? "
I was sure, I saw it in her eyes everytime I mentioned my brother. Just as I heard it in his voice when I mentioned her.
"Your love", I reminded him.
Vexed, he looked at me and was about to say something when his eyes darted to someone behind me.
"Do you love her?", I heard Ahad's voice, making me jump off the bed ready to defend Kamran.
"Get out of my room", Kamran hissed at him.
"That doesn't answer my question", he stepped closer to us.
"It's none of your damn business", Kamran's hands fisted on his sides.
"Didn't you hear Abu in the dining room, or have you become deaf too?", Ahad walked towards us slowly, deliberately, his face stoic and indiscernible.
As much as I wanted to stay physically in between my two brothers, my instinct of self-preservation won when I was literally sandwiched between the two 6ft something men, and I couldn't help moving out of their way.
Ahad pushed Kamran's shoulder, their faces inches apart, "It is my business"
That was the last straw for Kamran. I could see all the emotions he had held within him during our childhood boil over. The comparisons between him and his older brother, and the constant reminders of how he had failed where his brother had succeeded, were creating an inferno within him ready to burst out at the slightest provocation.
His eyes darkened, his jaw clenched and his fist raised, "Yes, I do love her. I have loved her since the moment I saw her. What are you going to do about that?"
His fist connected with Ahad's face, sending him reeling onto the bed. Ahad didn't waste any time in getting up and charging Kamran, slamming his body against the wall.
"I'm going to help you get married to her, you idiot', he yelled, as he continued to pin Kamran against the wall.
Huh? What?
Kamran kneed him in the side, forcing Ahad to loosen his grip on him, but soon the two went tumbling back on to the bed. Kicking and slapping each other like they were little kids fighting over a toy.
Except one had already conceded defeat. So, now I was confused.
"What are you two fighting about?", I pulled Kamran off Ahad.
The two stared at each other, their expressions softening by the second till Kamran smirked, "He called me an idiot"
Ahad got up and put his brother in a headlock, ruffling his hair aggressively, while Kamran thrashed around like a fish out of the sea.
"You are an idiot! Who the heck falls in love with a girl and doesn't tell his brother?"
He let go of Kamran and finally the two kept their hands off each other, using their words instead.
"You take everything I want", Kamran said solemnly, and truthfully.
Ahad took a deep breath, "Never intentionally. And I wouldn't ever go after someone you're in love with"
Kamran squared his shoulders and asked Ahad a question I too was curious about, "Do you have feelings for her?"
Ahad didn't hesitate, "No. Never did. The rishta was Ami's idea not mine. I myself hardly got to know her"
"You saved her life", Kamran said pointedly, "And then you saved a life with her. That tells you a lot about a person"
"What does that have to do with falling for someone? I would have done what I did for anyone. Especially, if I knew it was someone you cared about"
"Besides...", Ahad looked at both of us, "There may be someone else, I haven't told anyone about"
That finally made Kamran smile and he playfully pushed Ahad's shoulder, asking him for more details.
"I don't know her name. But I've seen her around campus, and I know that she is part of the faculty but not in my department. She just has these really gorgeous light brown eyes, that are hard to not notice", our brother told us in an almost shy voice, and we both promised him that we would help him find more out more about this mystery woman.
It wasn't till a few minutes later when I found Ahad in the kitchen, drinking water alone while we waited for Kamran, that I asked him something I had a suspicion I already knew the answer to.
"So, is there really another woman?"
He smiled at me and laughed, "Is there a nameless female faculty in another department that has pretty brown eyes? I am sure there is"
In that moment I had more respect for him that I ever had before in my life.
"You're a good brother, you know. And you will get over her"
He sighed, "I should have been a better brother, to both of you. I am sorry I wasn't"
We stood in silence for a few seconds, each ruminating over how our day had started, when I heard him speak quietly again, "I wasn't lying when I said I hadn't developed feelings for Farah, yet. She just reminded me of someone I spent a couple of days with, a few years ago"
"What? You had feelings for this someone else? Why didn't you tell anyone? And where is she now? You know I can work magic for other people's love life"
"Nah...", he looked at me with a sad smile, "There is no point. That fire had to be put out faster than it was lit up"
I heard Kamran enter the kitchen and suddenly the sad smile on Ahad's face disappeared and was replaced by a brotherly grin as he slapped him on the shoulder and hooked an arm around mine.
"Come on little sis, let's go tell our parents that our brother here wants to get married to Farah"
Laughing and joking, as if we had always been buddies, we entered the dining room where the shattered crockery had been cleaned up but our parents moods had not seemed to lighten up at all.
"How dare you disappear in the middle of the family meeting?", Abu's voice bellowed across the room.
I swear Kamran and I instinctively tried to hide behind Ahad, who explained to our father what he had discovered, "Abu, sorry about that. But I have to let you know that I can't marry Farah"
He turned to Ami, "Leikin Ami don't worry, Farah will InshaAllah become your bahu, just as Kamran's wife"
Both parents looked at us with shocked and incredulous expressions, making Ahad somewhat nervous too.
"Umm...Kamran tell them that you've had feelings for her since your trip to Naran"
"Ji Ami and Abu, I have actually been wanting to get married to her since then. But she was too young and I knew she needed to study, as did I. So I didn't say anything to anyone, and I promise we never overstepped our boundaries. But now that she is almost in her fifth year, I was hoping that you could talk to her family about..."
My father cut him off angrily, "Mein kiss moun se un ke pass rishta le ke jaaoun ga? Na tumhare pass job hai, na ghar, na gaari. Roommate ke saath tum rehtey ho. Koi pata nahi tumhara, PhD mein bhi fail ho jao ge" (How am I supposed to take a proposal to them? You don't have a job, or house or a car. You live with a roommate. No one knows, you may even fail in the PhD)
I had had enough of my father taunting Kamran. And whether it was my place or not, I found myself replying to my father even before Kamran opened his mouth.
"Abu that is not fair. You were the one who insisted that he does a PhD. And now that he is doing it, you're ridiculing him for not having the things that most PhD students don't have anyway. You know you can support him, we have enough wealth. So then why don't you send him the money to buy a car and an apartment in Seattle, the way you sent money to Akbar bhai and Ahad?"
Little did I know, that my standing up for my brother only made matters worse for him, and me.
"Bohat bolna aagaya hai tumhe, Komal. Leikin tum 28 years ki ho, aur abhi tak ghair shaadi shuda. Apney bhai ki side leine se pehlay ye yaad rakho, ke hum uss ka rishta kahin nahi leike jaaien ge, jab tak tumhari shaadi nahi ho jaati", my father's terse words sunk in slowly, and I recognized the threat he was giving me.
(You've learnt to talk a lot, Komal. But you're 28 and still unmarried. Before you take your brother's side remember this, we will not take a proposal from him anywhere until you are not wedded)
Ami wasn't any less ruthless, "I absolutely agree. Imagine the kinds of things people will say when they hear that your same aged brother is getting married before you. Jo bache kuche aadmi aur un ki families tum mein interested hain, woh bhi bhaag jaaein ge" (The leftover men and their families who are interested in you will also run away)
"And that is our final decision", Abu looked at me pointedly, "If you want to see Kamran married, say yes to any of the men whose proposals have come so far, or the couple that are coming to see you next week. I am sick and tired of you and your modern expectations"
With that Abu got up and left the room and Ami followed suit.
And I just stood there dumbstruck, tears wetting my eyes, unbelieving that my brother's happiness depended on me shackling myself to a man that I had no interest in. Forced to do so because of this antiquated idea in our society that there must be something wrong with a girl if she doesn't get married by a certain age, or if a younger sibling gets married before her.
"I am so sorry", I whispered to Kamran.
He pulled me towards himself, holding me while I sobbed on his shoulder, "Don't be. I will never let you compromise your future for me. Farah and I can wait"
I felt Ahad's hand on my back, "Komal, don't cry please. We'll figure a way out. These are our lives, not some chess pawns that Abu and Ami think they can move around as they please"
Being the only sister of three brothers came with its share of challenges and nonstop teasing. But with all that also came the feeling that I was experiencing in that moment. A blanket of security. One that I knew would always cloak me, no matter what.
"I love you guys", I admitted to them, probably for the first time in my life.
"We love you too", they said in unison.
-------------------------
Ok, I know I said there are no villains in this story, but maybe Kamran's parents are encroaching onto that character trait!
Anyway, how'd you like the plot twist?
Intrigued about Ahad's past?
What should Komal do next?
Really appreciate your comments and votes. Please keep 'em coming!