The World Cup was officially over, and it was time to head back to Manchester. Not just to pack up my apartment, and get ready for the move, but also for the funeral. Ettie's funeral. Indi didn't come. She didn't think she could handle it. Instead, she travelled Australia, with Sam, Kristie and Jill.
Sam flew over with me, to Manchester, to attend it.
"How are you feeling?" She asked me, as I was putting on my black dress. I looked at myself in the mirror, picturing what it would have been like to go to my parents' funeral. Picturing what 8-year-old Bradie would've worn.
"I'm alright," I replied, looking at Sam.
"You both ready to go?" Emily then asked, appearing from the door. She always flew over. I didn't ask her to, but she wanted to be there. To support not just me, but Sam as well.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I responded.
We headed to the funeral, and when we walked inside, there was a room filled with everyone Ettie loved, and who loved Ettie. It would've been comforting to Keira and her parents to see that.
When Keira went up to speak, I saw her hands trembling. Her eyes fluttered as she tried to start speaking.
"Hey everyone, thanks for being here today, to celebrate Ettie and her life. I know each of us are grieving at this moment, and it's comforting to see how many people made the journey to be here today," Keira spoke, her words flowing out of her so effortlessly.
As she continued to speak, tears were ever so present within my eyes. Emily grabbed my hand, trying to comfort me. But it was difficult. Very difficult.
"I've realised that we all have to find our new purpose. We have to go and find what brings us joy. We have to do all those things for Ettie. She'd want nothing more than for us to go out there, and find who we are. Find our purpose. I know that everything I do, from now on, I will be doing for her. For my sister. For my twin. For my soulmate." I knew that was exactly what Ettie would've wanted, and that's what I will do for her. I will find my joy again. I will live out my dreams, for her. I was not going to be scared about what the future may hold.
After the service ended, I saw Keira standing alone, with a cup of tea in her hand.
"Hey," I said to her, walking up to stand beside her.
"Hi," she answered.
"You spoke beautifully."
"Thanks."
"Ett would be proud of you," I then said, "you are stronger than you will ever realise." She smiled softly, before wrapping her arms around me. We had never really talked too much before, but I knew that there was going to be a whole new lifetime to have those conversations with Keira. With Ettie's soulmate.
"You ready to go?" Sam asked me, and I nodded my head. I had a whole apartment to pack, and a flight to catch.
As Emily and Sam helped me pack, I was reminded of all the memories I had had within this small apartment. When Sam, Rose and I first moved over to Manchester, and lived only a few doors apart. When Tobin and Christen used to pick me up before every training because I hadn't bought a car yet. When Josie surprised me at my apartment, and when Harry first knocked on my door. So many things had happened. This was truly an end of an era.
As I got the letters out of the suitcase, I was reminded of what Ettie had said to me. One of the last things she ever told me was if she wanted to leave a legacy, it would be of forgiveness. Of having mercy on those who once caused you pain. I knew that I had to sort out things before I left. Before I got on that plane to Barcelona.
"Guys," I said to both Sam and Emily, as they were bubble wrapping plates, "do you mind if I head out for an hour? I have someone I need to see."
"Sure," Sam replied, "I'm quite good at organising."
"I'll count on that," I joked back, before heading out.
I worked my way to where I thought she may be. The person I needed to see. When I arrived at the United training ground, I saw her there. Saw Millie.
I went onto the pitch, and came up behind her, watching her kick the ball around on her own accord.
"Hi," I said. She turned around to see me, standing there, with my travel clothes on.
"Hey," she replied.
"I think it's best we talk," I said to her, and she nodded.
"I'm sorry," she said, 10 minutes later, after I explained to her my story and how it all went down, "like as soon as it happened I regretted it."
"But why?"
"I don't know," she responded, looking down.
"Millie, I thought we were friends. I thought that, despite everything, we were okay. I trusted you."
"But you didn't trust me. You trusted Jackie. The one girl who didn't like you. The one girl who actually hated your guts. You trusted her, and not me or Ella or Less."
"I know, but it was never their secret to know, or yours, it was mine. It's my secret, and partially Jackie's too."
"I don't understand," Millie replied.
"And you don't have to," I responded, "because it's not about you. It never was. And what you did, Millie was very shitty."
"I know, and I don't think sorry will ever do it justice."
"That's okay," I answered her.
"I always just felt unimportant. I felt so inadequate, and you were someone who made me feel special, and then, just like that, I was pushed to the side. For her."
"My relationship with Jackie was different to my friendship with you," I tried to explain to her.
"I know, and I see that now. And I'm truly, and utterly sorry."
"I know you are, and it's okay."
"Really?"
"Yes, I forgive you."
"You do?" Millie was bewildered that I actually said those words. That I said that I forgave her.
"Yes. I forgive you."
"Why?"
"Because," I started to say, "life is so short. And sometimes, things like this aren't worth being mad about for too long. Sometimes we have to remember that there is more in life than arguments or malice. There is love in this world, and Millie, I know that you will find that love, if you look hard enough for it."
I didn't stay for too long. I did what I had to do. I did what I knew was right. I hoped that Ettie would be proud.
When I arrived back at my apartment, the entire place was packed up.
"Wow, you guys are efficient," I said to them.
"We thought we would alleviate some of that stress," Emily said, "and now, you're all ready to head off to Barcelona!"
Later that evening, Keira texted me.
Keira: hey bradie, really random, but i thought i would let you know. You know how lucy signed with barca earlier this summer? Well, i am about to sign too. And i heard you are also. So, i guess ill see you soon?
I didn't expect this. Honestly, with everything that happened over the summer, I expected her to stay in Manchester. Stay close to family. But also, at the same time, getting away from England, and everything that reminded her of Ettie, would be beneficial.
Bradie: that is soo amazing keira! And yes, will definitely see you there xx
When I headed over to Barcelona, I signed my contract.
"So, what name do you want? Van Dyk?" The manager asked me. I thought of it for a little while. I had been going by Van Dyk since I started my professional career. Was that even a question? But maybe, it was not supposed to be Van Dyk. Maybe it was supposed to be the name I was born with. The name that carried meaning
"Meyer," I said, "Meyer."
I was soon given my jersey.
12
Meyer
Then, I announced my signing on instagram.
Bradievandyk: super excited to be announcing my signing with @fcbfemeni for the next two seasons.
As a side note, I decided to have Meyer as the name on the back of my jersey. Don't worry, I'll always be a Van Dyk, but as a way to remember my parents, and my past, i thought this was a step in the right direction. this is a new beginning, for all of us x
Sammymewyy: so proud of u, WM
Kmewis19: love this for u bvd, or should i say WM?
Lucybronze: will see you soon then :)
I was proud of my decision. Proud of myself for doing this. I will always be Bradie Van Dyk, but I am also Willow. Willow Meyer. And that will never change.
When I had my first training session, with Barca, it felt at home. It felt good. I was where I was meant to be, with a new environment, new people, and free.
As I was walking out, beside Lucy and Keira (who had recently signed only a few days after I did), I was stopped.
"Hey," a voice said behind me. I turned around, to see Alexia Putellas looking at me.
"Hi," I responded.
"Mapi was right," she said.
"About what?"
"You were the exact nine we were looking for." She gave me a soft smile, her eyes piercing my own, before she walked off. I stood there, not knowing what to think except that I knew this was going to be interesting.
note:
- and with that, Little Do They Know is officially finished!!!
- honestly, i didn't expect myself to ever finish this one (although I did say that about IOS too but here we are)
- anyways, dw, i always got something new coming ;)
oh and don't forget to read the sequel... AFTER WE WERE FRIENDS