Blake
Ever since Halloween we haven't been able to get enough of each other. We spent that entire weekend in bed and by Sunday night I was so sore and satiated that I slept like a baby in my bed without him for the first time in days, and I didn't have any nightmares. The weeks passes by slowly and Ryder's busy with football and I'm studying for midterms.
Mid November comes faster than expected and it's our last week before fall break. I'm walking out of my last class of the day when Cassie comes up to me out of nowhere. She's in a sports bra, shorts and a pair of running shoes with her hair in a ponytail. "Blake" she calls my name and like the nice girl that I am, I stop and turn to look at her.
"Hey Cassie, what's up?"
"What's the deal with you and Ryder anyways? Some of the girls on the squad keep saying he's single and others are saying otherwise" I have no idea why she cares so much but I try my best not to roll my eyes at her.
"We're dating, and have been" is all I say.
"It's been a while don't you think? I wonder why he hasn't made it official" she says with a smirk.
"I have no idea. Why don't you ask him since you're so curious" is my response dripping in sarcasm which wipes the smirk off of her face.
"You do realize how many girls have their eye on him?" she asks with a cocked brow like I'm some naive little girl.
"I do actually and it doesn't bother me. Flirt with him, do your worst Cassie and tell your little friends to as well. I'm confident in what he and I have going on so this... whatever you're trying to do here is going to work. Run along now" her eyes widen in shock by my attitude and it only gives me that much more pleasure.
"It's a no wonder Fowlin was sleeping around on you. You're a bitch Blake and this nice girl act you put up doesn't fool everyone, so watch yourself" she turns to walk away but I grab her shoulder and stop her.
I narrow my eyes at her "What did you just say?"
"Your nice girl act is bullshit...." I cut her off.
"No... about Fowlin" I see the regret in her eyes but it quickly dissolves.
"Nothing Blake, I have to go" and with that she jogs off towards the stadium.
I stand there frozen in place, staring off into the distance she went. My mind is racing and I can't quite figure out if she meant to let that slip or not. Either way I need to if it's true, was he cheating on me? Fowlin and I had been together since high school, we grew up nextdoor to each other and have known each other most of our lives. Our parents were close and I was close with his mom, she was there for me after I lost mine.
Fowlin had two older brother's who were friends with mine, they all went to school together and played sports together as well. Our families and lives were so intermingled that it felt like we were destined to be together. I had a crush on him way before we got together and when he finally made a move our sophomore year of high school, it felt like a dream come true.
We weren't each other's firsts, but we were supposed to be each other's last. We definitely weren't perfect and fought a lot when it came to college. It was his idea to stay together when I wasn't sure I wanted to come here, and I didn't want to stop him. I wanted us both to enjoy college and have an amazing time because high school was different for me after losing my mom. I felt like I lost those years of partying and fun; he did to. He stuck by my side through it all and I felt like we owed it to ourselves to live it up in college.
He convinced me that we could 'live it up' together and we did. Our first year was incredible, we made so many friends and had such an amazing time. I would have never guessed that he would have cheated on me because he never seemed interested in other girls, even when they tried. I could be wrong, I could have been blinded by my love for him and maybe things weren't as they seem, but why now? Why let that slip now?
I walk to the stadium where I know practice is about to end, and decide to talk to Maddox about it; they were best friends after all. I text Ryder and Madd that I'm waiting outside for them when they're done. While I wait I scroll through social media and entertain myself with celebrity gossip and the next best work out until they eventually come out.
"Blue" Ryder says with a big grin and I walk over and greet him.
He hugs me against his chest and then gives me the sweetest kiss "How was your day?" I ask as we pull apart.
"It was good, practice was rough though. What about you?"
"I'm sorry it was rough and it was good" he smiles as I look past him at Maddox "Hey Madd" I call out and he walks over.
"Lake, sorry I just saw your text" Ryder gives me a confused look.
"I need to talk to him real fast, can I meet you at your truck?" he nods.
"Yeah I parked up front" I kiss his cheek and then pull Maddox off to the side.
"What's going on?" he asks seriously.
"I have to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me" he nods.
"Okay, ask away" he nervously runs a hand through his damp hair.
"Did Fowlin cheat on me? Was he sleeping around?" he ask calmly.
He takes a step back "Blake..." I stop him.
"Maddox I need to know the truth" I stare into his hazel eyes.
"I...I don't know how to say this and I still feel like I'm betraying him" my heart races because I know what he's about to say.
"Just say it" I beg.
"He did, I'm not sure how often or the details but the time I caught him I was pissed. We got into a fight about it and I told him to tell you. Obviously he didn't listen... he said he was going to end it with you" his words rock my world and nearly shatter my heart all over again.
"Wha... what? He wanted to break up? It was his idea for us to stay together in the first place" my mind is racing as I try to process all of this new information.
"I'm sorry Lake.... I should have told you. I honestly didn't know how especially after we lost him it felt like the wrong thing to do because I didn't want to taint his memory. I know how much you loved him, how close you two were"
"I need to go" I walk off in the opposite direction of the parking lot across campus.
I need to be alone so I text Ryder that I'm going home instead. I stop by the apartment and thankfully Riley's still in class and drop off my things. I change into my bathing suit, shorts and a tank then grab my board and hop in my car. There's only one place I can go to in moments like these when I need to clear my head. I drive to the point, and luckily the waves are good right now so I wax my board, put my wetsuit on and then paddle out.
I end up staying out in the water until the sun is almost set and my body aches from soreness. Eventually I head back to shore and I sit in the sand, with my board next to me and watch the sun fall behind the mountains. "Blake!" I hear someone calling my name and I quickly wipe the tears away from my eyes.
I look over and see a group of people walking towards me but I can't tell who it is. "Blake!" the deep voice calls out again, so I stand up and wave them over. When they come into view I see that it's Ryder, Maddox, Riley, Dylan and Cayden.
Riley rushes over and throws her arms around me "There you are, we've been calling you Lake" she says in my ear.
As we pull away the guys approach "Where have you been?!" Ryder asks sounding worried.
I nod my head towards the water "I need to paddle out to clear my head" Maddox flinches at the words, knowing exactly why.
Ryder takes a step towards me "What's going on Blue?" he gently touches my arm.
Tears start streaming down my cheeks as they all look at me worried "Did all of you know?" I ask angrily.
I look at Dylan, Cayden, and even Riley "Did we know what?" she asks.
"That Fowlin was cheating on me and was going to break up with me?" Ryder's eyes widen in horror but I see the guilt on everyone else's. I look to Riley "You knew?! You knew and you didn't tell me? You're supposed to be my best friend!" I shout in disbelief.
"Blake I wanted to tell you, but after we lost him... and almost lost you I couldn't do it. You were already so broken it would have completely ruined you. I didn't mean to lie or keep it from you, I swear" she holds onto my shoulders and looks me dead in the eye.
I look past her at Dylan and Cayden "He was our best friend Lake, we didn't know what to do..." I take a step back from Riley and feel like my entire world is falling apart all over again.
Ryder reaches for me but I pull away and start walking down the beach. I need to be alone right now, I can't think straight with all of them staring at me with pity. I walk until my legs give out and then I fall to my knees in the sand and craddle my face in my hands as I fall apart. I feel someone crouch behind me and wrap their arms around my small frame and I instantly know who it is; Ryder. He pulls me back into his chest and holds me silently, because what can you say to this?
"Blake...Blue... I know there aren't any words that I can say right now to help how you feel. But, please know that I'm here for you. I care about you and you can lean on me okay?" I nod and he holds onto me tighter.
We stay like this for minutes that really feel like hours and when I'm ready to stand he helps me up "Thank you Ry" I fall into his arms and wrap mine around his neck.
He holds me against his chest and as we pull apart he kisses my cheek softly "You don't have to thank me Blake, I'm always here for you" I nod and wipe my eyes.
He takes my hand and leads me back to our friends who are still standing in the same spot. The guys each envelope me in a big hug and Riley hugs me last, but I still feel like there's something missing between us. I see the distance and guilt in her eyes and my intuition tells me that there is more to this situation than I know. But right now I just want to go home and take a nice hot shower so I can try to relax.
Ryder takes me and Riley home and I put my board away and then go into my bathroom to rinse off. When I'm finished I put on cozy clothes and he comes into my room with pizza he ordered, we end up snuggling in my bed for the rest of the day and watching feel good movies. I lay my head on his chest and instantly feel calm, like he is the peace I need to balance myself out. At some point I end up falling asleep in his arms, feeling a hell of a lot better.