Three Years Later
"Josie Matthews presents a fresh new perspective to crime journalism. She gives a voice to the victims of these terrible crimes a voice, she makes the readers see them as people rather than just a story on a news site. Her writing is emotional and detailed, while also remaining unbiased and factual. The work she is doing as lead writer at Kripke is-"
"I know," I interrupted Casey's dramatic reading of the review he was reading on his phone. "I know, I've read it like ten times since it got published this morning."
He continued staring down at his phone, his elbows propped on the table between us. "It's just so cool. I mean, I've always known that you're ridiculously talented and it's about time that everybody else recognizes it too."
My career did seem to be taking off in ways I never imagined and it was equal parts terrifying and exciting. I was taking on the high profile crime cases at work, helping Kim prioritize and assign work to my team of writers. Because yeah, I had a team of writers. I had a Twitter account with an alarming amount of followers where I would live Tweet about court appointments and police discoveries. I had an assistant who helped plan meetings and interviews, which eased half of my ever-growing stress.
"And you just won all of that grant money," I reminded him as I took another bite of my cheesecake. "We're a total power couple."
He flashed me that winning smile that nearly always took my breath away. I'd never get tired of that smile and the proud look in his eye only added to the tightening in my chest. I thought for sure that after so long of being with him, the butterflies and nerves would go away, but they had yet to dissipate. Every day I woke up next to Casey, it felt like the first.
That's a good line. I should add that to my speech. Oh god. No, don't start thinking about that now. It's not time yet.
"Josie?" Casey said my name, reaching across the table to rest his large hand on my forearm. My eyes snapped up to his and he gave me a curious look. "What just happened?"
"What?" I mumbled dumbly.
"You completely zoned out," he explained as he slowly trailed his fingers down my arm until he got to my hand, interlocking our fingers together. The waiter came by with the check as I finished my glass of wine. Despite both of us making good money in our careers, it still pained me to spend so much money on one meal. But the restaurant was fancy- the kind with lit candles on the tables, dim lighting, and an actual live violinist playing Mozart in the corner. They had Casey's favorite lobster tail and my favorite pinot grigio, so we splurged on a trip every once in a while. "I asked if you wanted to stop by the pet store on the way home? Tulip is out of tuna."
"Oh. Sorry," I blinked a couple of times, squeezed his hand to bring myself back to reality. "I'll stop tomorrow, I have something else I want to show you tonight."
"Really?" he cocked his head to the side. "What is it?"
I shrugged, trying to make it seem like totally not a big deal. "It's a surprise."
He kissed the back of my hand before I laid my credit card on top of the check. There were no more questions about this surprise and Casey quickly fell back into conversation about the article. I let out a relieved breath that he wasn't pushing the subject. I'd crack like an egg if he got suspicious.
"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," he interrupted himself. "I got my inheritance check from Silas yesterday. It's just enough to pay for that trip to Switzerland you've been wanting."
"An inheritance from Silas?" I repeated, feeling all of my nerves fly out the window at this new distraction. "He's giving you an inheritance while he's still alive?"
"Oh. I didn't tell you? He had a heart attack last week. It was in the news," he said so nonchalantly, it was as if he was telling me about a bad rain storm coming in rather than the death of his biological father.
"I've been so busy. I'm so sorry, I didn't..."
Casey started to chuckle and then grabbed my hand again. "Josie, I'm not really beat up about it. I've spoken to the guy once in my entire life. He didn't even write me or Eleanor into his will. The only reason we're getting money is because Jay decided it was the right thing to do and is giving us a chunk of his own inheritance. Shiloh too. It's a very small chunk, but like I said, it's enough for Switzerland."
"More hush money, I bet," I mumbled with a roll of my eyes.
"Yeah. Maybe. He seemed genuine when we met up, but he is a politician so who knows? So what was this surprise you're taking me to?"
Well, shit. I was really hoping he would have forgotten about that already and would just let it happen without getting too curious. Especially after breaking the news that Silas passed away, which opened so many flood gates in my mind. Would others start coming forward with his mistreatment of them, now that he wasn't there to silence them? Women from his past, or maybe children like Shiloh, Eleanor and Casey? I had a million questions running through my head that he was clearly not wanting to discuss. And it would definitely kill the night if I persisted on the subject, so I dropped it.
"You do know the definition of a surprise, right?" I teased him. The waitress returned with my card and I signed the receipt, trying to hide the paper from Casey so that he couldn't tell how shaky my hands had gotten.
"Can't I at least get a hint?" he pleaded.
I shook my head at him and texted Natalie that we were on our way. "Not even a little one."
In the car, I squeezed the steering wheel until my hands were pale and still. Casey could be sort of oblivious sometimes, but surely if I started sweating through my red cocktail dress, he'd know that something was up.
Why did I have to get myself into this mess?
Being a woman in this world came with so many hardships and uphill battles to fight. But one of the good things that came with my X-chromosome was the fact that the societal norm was that in straight relationships, men did the proposing. Men did the planning, the ring buying, the sweating through fancy dinners. Why couldn't I accept this one pleasure and let Casey do all of the sweating?
A couple of months ago, when we were at a benefit for Casey's lab to pry more money out of donors while he talked about all of his efforts to save the dying planet, one of his colleagues referred to me as Mrs. Gordon and I about died. I wasn't sure if I'd actually change my last name, but just the idea of being a Mrs. to Casey's Mr. made my heart stop beating for a second. I wanted it, I needed it. Needed to have him in my life forever, needed to call him my husband and have his babies and grow old and gray. I needed it, and I was suddenly very impatient for it.
I knew he'd propose eventually and I knew it would be good. But Casey got this really adorable dopey smile on his face whenever I surprised him with something good, and I knew he'd be so surprised. Plus, it was my turn to plan date night.
"Babe, I don't think the Arboretum is open this late," Casey said when he noticed that we were pulling into the giant empty parking lot. We'd been to the Arboretum, a state park that was also a museum of different types of plant collections, many times in our relationship. We celebrated moving in together last year with a walk through Lilac Hill and spent Auden's fifth birthday in Morrison Garden. After tonight, we'd also remember it as the time I proposed in the Boxwood Collection.
"Trust me," I urged him without explaining anything at all. The park was technically closed, but I pulled some strings with a couple of friends I'd met through Casey's work. "It's just a little bit of a walk."
"Are you okay in those shoes?" he glanced down at the high heels I wore to dinner as he followed me across the parking lot to the paved path that led toward the trees. I saw the lights flickering where Natalie and Michael set them up earlier. I bet they were both still lurking in the dark shadows to watch this all unfold. Since it was so dark outside and the moon was hardly a light source, it would be easy for them to hide somewhere.
"I'm fine," I promised him. I almost reached for his hand, but stopped myself when I realized that my palm was too clammy. "The stars are out tonight."
He glanced up, the view starting to become obscured by the tree branches above us as we headed into the boxwoods. "I still don't get any hints?" he asked. "When you said there was a surprise, I was imagining a stop at the frozen yogurt place on the way home."
"This will be better," I assured him, keeping my responses short so that I wouldn't give anything away.
Casey quickly got distracted by the trees we were walking through. "You know, this collection is acknowledged by the American Boxwood Society? And it's a part of the National Boxwood Trials. I was just talking about it with Malcolm, the director of the collection. It's pretty interesting... what is that?"
He'd finally spotted the lights. Through a clearing in the trees, right off the paved path, there were a million white string lights hanging in the branches around us and in the center of the clearing, a small wooden plank laid in the grass with candles lit on all four corners. Finally, I grabbed his hand in mine and led him to the wood. The plank was Natalie's idea. When I told her my plan and my outfit, she reminded me that my heels would sink into the grass and what if I wanted to get on one knee? I didn't want to stand back up with dirt on my legs.
"You like it?" I asked, squeezing his hand hard.
"It's... beautiful," he responded under his breath as he continued looking around at all of the lights in the trees. "How did you do all of this?"
"I'm a miracle worker," I said easily. "I brought you out here because I have to tell you something."
I could tell by the curious look in his eye that it still wasn't clicking. I had a whole speech planned, written down on my laptop and memorized. I'd recited it to myself three times a day for the last month, listing all of the things I loved about Casey and being with Casey and how I never wanted to let it go. How everything we had was magic and that I loved him so much it hurt.
But once I was standing there in the moment, with the lights and Casey's beautiful face in front of me and his hand squeezing mine, my mind went completely blank.
"What is it?" he urged me when I struggled to find my words.
Instead of the big romantic speech I'd planned, the words that started falling out of my mouth were rambling nonsense. Definitely not ideal. "Well, I wasn't sure if this was a good place to do it, but I couldn't think of anything better. Honestly, I thought it would be easier but I couldn't decide on anything. When I first started to plan it, I thought I'd take you to the place where I fell in love with you. But then, I couldn't pick just one. Your old apartment or Six Flags or the Botanical Gardens or the Korean Restaurant. Because the truth of it is that I've fallen in love with you so many times, in so many places, I couldn't pin it down to just one."
He had an amused curiosity on his face as I finished talking and even though I hadn't talked for too long, my lungs felt like they were on fire. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be.
"I was going to do this in Switzerland," Casey said with that beautiful smile starting to creep further onto his lips. "I already bought the ring and-"
"Shut up," I interrupted him before he could steal my moment. "Shut up, shut up. I beat you fair and square. You have to let me have this."
"Okay." He laughed softly, squeezing my hand as he kissed my forehead. "Go on, then."
I cleared my throat, trying to remember that stupid speech that I'd rehearsed for so many weeks. "You have been my best friend since I was fourteen, the brightest spot in my life when I was at my darkest. The second I met you, I knew you were something magical and I knew I'd never want to let go. I am so in love with you, Casey, that it makes me sick. We're three years into this thing and I still feel like we've just started."
I had to take a breath and stop myself from rambling even further. I pulled out the silver band that I'd gotten at the jewelry store, tucked into a little ring box. I knew that it was normal for only the woman in a relationship to wear an engagement ring, but I didn't know what else to bring to a proposal. There wasn't very much advice on the topic from the hundreds of Google searches I researched.
It took me a minute to finagle my way onto one knee in the tight dress, but I eventually managed it while holding onto Casey's hand for balance. Once I got situated, I looked back up at him and his eyes were shining in the lights surrounding us. He was so damn beautiful.
"So. Casey. Will you marry me?"
"Can I still propose in Switzerland? I have everything planned out and it's going to be really good."
"Okay." I was suddenly so much less nervous, now that the question was out there. Even though he hadn't answered yet, my hands were only shaking now due to excitement. Excitement for tonight, for officially being engaged to Casey. Excited for the rest of our lives together, laughing and crying and living and loving. "You still have to answer me though."
In one swift motion, Casey gripped my sides and unexpectedly pulled me back to my feet and then I was being lifted into his strong arms. Our faces were just inches from each other, my light giggles filling the air as my heart continued beating hard out of my body.
"You are my entire world. Of course, yes. Yes, I'll marry you, Josie."
THE END
A/N : Thank you so much for your patience while I took my sweet time finishing the last bit of this book. I got laid off from my job a couple months ago, had to find a new job, and now I'm buying a house. So I've had a lot going on, but I'm glad that I finally got to finish this story! I appreciate you all sticking around <3