Olivia POV
It's been a week since I got back in New york.
I ended up spending New year away from my family.
I haven't heard anything from Sarah since our last conversation.
"Sorry about this Via.. I know there are other places you would rather be right now." Ivan said while offering me a cup of coffee.
"Thanks for the coffee." I replied.
"Is Sarah okay with this?" He asked curiously.
We are pretending to have some romantic date right now.
"We aren't really talking so I don't know.." I said honestly.
"You two fought or something? Does this have something to do with you being back so early?"
"You said it yourself that Sarah won't be able to make me truly happy. That she could hurt me all over again. Now that she has her memories back, all the more chances of that happening. I should have listen to you." I said.
"Sorry Via.." he replied sympathetically.
I awkwardly chuckle without any humor.
"Isn't this what you've been waiting for? Don't pretend like you're not happy now."
He tap my back in a friendly gesture.
"I know I've been too much of a jerk lately but never have I wish to see you unhappy. I mean it Via, I want to repair our relationship and I'll respect whatever you want." He said.
"I guess this is my karma for hurting you." I said in a low voice.
He held my cheek and we made eye contact.
"Via don't think of it that way. You were not happy with me anymore and I just didn't want to accept it. But as your friend, I want you to know that making you happy is all I want." He said sincerely.
"Thanks Ivan.. I want the same for you. I am glad to still have you as a friend." I replied hugging him.
I felt great comfort in knowing that Ivan and I can actually talk like how we use to. Our relationship is slowly but genuinely mending.
"We don't have to wait until the movie ends. We can just tell people now that we decided to be friends. I know it may be unpleasant for some to hear the news but.. I think we can get through it together. We are not the first celebrity couple to break up. It will eventually get better." He mentioned.
"A lot of people will be pissed. I don't know if doing that is going to be a good choice at all." I told him.
"Whenever you're ready.." he said smiling.
---
After a few hours, I went back to rest at my house.
I sat comfortably at my sofa.
I got a call from my mom.
"Hello sweety, I'm glad you pick up. How have you been doing?" She spoke softly over the phone.
"Oh I'm good mom, how are you?" I asked her as well.
"I'm good too. Actually I just want to ask you something.. a little personal."
I frowned a bit worrying about what she wanted to know.
"Sure, what is it mom?" I asked.
"I can't help but wonder about you and Sarah. Is everything okay?" She asked worriedly.
What did Sarah say?
I didn't want to open up too much.
"We're just having some problems, did she say anything to you?" I wonder.
"Nope.. not really. She took a leave and went back to Europe. I got the feeling things are not okay when you left. She seem lonely a lot these days but she had not said anything and I didn't want to pry. If there's anything I could do to help, just let me know. Sarah's a good kid and whatever the problem is I know you two can sort it out." She sound hopeful and positive.
"She left?" I asked confused.
"Yes, just a few days ago. She didn't say when she'll be back though." My mom replied a bit worried.
"Did.. did– Oli left with her?" I asked hesitantly.
"What? No, she was alone in the trip. Oli is with me. He's preoccupied with his business. Why did you think they went together?" My mom asked confused.
"Oh– nothing.. I just thought of it. Nevermind." I said trying to sound more casual.
"Oh okay.. well, I just want you to know that I'm here if you need me. We can talk about it if you want." My mom offered.
"Thanks mom.. but I'm okay. I can handle it. I promise." I replied forcing a smile.
After we ended the call, I place my phone on the table and relax on my seat.
"So you left too." I mumbled while I close my eyes.
(Flashback)
"Maybe you just don't really love me anymore. Not even once have you ever say it to me. Maybe it's just that simple." She spoke so weakly.
She was right. I am too scared to say it back. No matter how much I wanted to, there's this little voice inside my head that keeps me from saying it out loud. The words 'I love you' feels too much.. too heavy..f or me to throw so easily around her.
Even now, I still couldn't say it.
She finally let go of my hand looking completely broken and defeated.
I wanted to embrace her and console her but I chose to leave instead.
I couldn't take it. I know I should do something but the thought of being vulnerable made me feel sick.
In the end, I ran away instead of dealing with my feelings.
(End of flashback)
I feel so exhausted.
I don't even have the energy to stand.
I didn't realize that I already fell asleep on my couch.
I only woke up when I heard my doorbell ringing.
"Hey, what are you doing here so late in the evening?" I asked Tyler when I open the door for him.
"I've got some beers.. let's drink." He announced while showing a plastic full of beer cans.
I let him come inside my house.
"What's going on? Did something happen?" I asked.
"It's a bit chilly.. I thought we might both enjoy this." He said while taking the cans out.
I took out some ice on my fridge.
"I don't think so.. but thanks anyway. So what's going on?" I asked him again.
We sat in the living room and he started pouring himself a drink.
"Oh nothing really.. but I am curious about you. We haven't had the chance to talk about stuff.." he replied glancing at me after taking a sip.
"Stuff? What stuff?" I asked while I reach out for the beer.
"Sarah and I had a talk recently." He brought up.
"Oh yeah? My mom said she left the country." I mention.
"Yes, she mention that over our phone call. I heard about what happen." He replied sympathetically.
"It's not that big of a deal." I said before I drink my own beer.
He slouch on my couch comfortably.
"We both know that's a lie." He replied.
I didn't try to argue. Tyler can see right through me.
"What did she say to you?" I asked curiously.
"If you're that curious then why don't you just contact her yourself? Are you not going to do anything about it? You and Sarah are just making things harder by staying apart without any communication. Will you not be able to forgive her?" He replied asking.
"I don't know.. it's too complicated. I can't just brush it off and move on like nothing has change. A part of me will always feel unsafe and doubtful of her. Maybe this is for the best?"
"If you truly believe that without any regrets then you won't hear another word from me." He said sympathetically.
"What advice will you give me if I said otherwise?" I asked.
"I'll say, you should be more honest about your feelings and stop thinking about the worst. I know I told you to be cautious but I've known Sarah for the longest time and I can assure you that her feelings for you are not to be question. She loves you and she may not be at best in showing it but that is something you don't need to doubt about." He explained.
I remain silent, I'm just taking in all that he had said.
"She doesn't think you love her enough though.." he continued.
"Not even once have I ever heard you say it to me. Maybe you just don't really love me anymore."
I shook my head and then drank my beer all at once.
"Maybe she's not wrong.." I said quietly.
"That's not what I see Olivia.. But of course, by the end of the day. What really matters is your choice.
"Sarah and I both made our choices.. I think this is where our story ends." I said lastly.
---
A month after
Ivan and I are shooting our final scenes together.
"And cut.." the director spoke loudly feeling very satisfied.
We all gave each other big hugs and thank everyone for all the hard work we did while doing this film.
Even after all the controversy, we are glad to be able to pull it off.
I must admit, this project was probably the most stressful I've ever been. There was just a lot of things going on.
Scandals and rumors about break ups, hook ups and flings concerning Ivan and I.
We haven't made anything official yet but I guess most people already form their own conclusions about us since Ivan made no attempt to fake our relationship anymore. He kept his word and been acting professional about everything but he made obvious or clearer distance between us after our last serious conversation.
"I can't believe it is finally finished! Gosh I think I won't be taking any project for the next few years." He mentioned while handing me a bottle of water.
"Oh no you don't.. I'm going to take a longer leave. You can't copy me right now." I said frowning.
"Oh dang! Why not? I deserve a break too." He said.
"Oh that's true.. But what are you planning to do on your spare time though?" I asked curiously.
"Nothing much.. I haven't made much planning. I just want to have some quiet time. I'm sure you know what I mean. The news will blow any time soon. It will be noisy for awhile." He said smiling sympathetically.
A few days ago, we have reach a decision and we both agree that if anyone where to ask about the status of our relationship, we won't hide the truth anymore.
"How about you?" He return the question.
"I'm not sure, I think I'm going to visit a good friend of mine. I'll be leaving the country for a bit." I said.
"Cool.. you take care Via. I'm going to miss you for sure." He said while offering me a goodbye hug.
We hug for a few seconds.
"Take care Ivan." I said.
I went home afterwards, Tyler came by to help me pack my things.
"Are you really going to see Tori?" Tyler asked curiously.
"Yeah, you should come too." I said hoping to convince him.
"Yup, but I'm stuck here. I have so many things to do so I'm afraid I won't be able to join you but tell her how much I miss her okay. By the way, don't you think she's keeping in touch with Sarah? What if you two run into each other?" He asked curiously.
I shrug it off lightly
"I thought you've been keeping in touch with her? Last I heard, she's in Thailand." I replied.
"Oh really? C'mon, I barely talk to her. How would I know that?" He respond defensively.
"I think she is really expanding her business out there. I'm happy for her." I said.
"Yes you are, but you just won't talk to her though." He said teasing me.
I glare at him.
"Oh it's just a joke. Don't glare at me like that." He said while putting his hands up in surrender.
"Too soon Ty.. Sarah is still a very sensitive subject for me okay." I replied honestly.
"When was she ever not?" He continued.
I shook my head without responding.
"I'm not going to humor you so just drop it." I said while checking on my stuff.
"Fine fine.. geez, You're way too serious." He said pushing me in a friendly way.
"Not true.. you're just a bit childish." I argued.
"Haha.. am not. Anyway, how long are you going to be away?" He changed the subject.
"It depends.. maybe I might be away for a couple of years or so.." I said smiling.
"Interesting.." he said while he raise his eyebrows in a playful manner.
"There you go again.. don't start at me right now." I warned.
I know how his mind operate. He start teasing me and it ends with me overthinking everything.
"What?? I didn't even say anything." He replied.
"I like being single right now. Believe it or not, I am happy with how things are." I replied.
"Welcome to the club of being singles then. It's been awhile since my last real serious relationship. I don't think I'll ever engage in one ever again. It always end up being so toxic." He sighed frustratingly.
"Don't say never.. You deserve to have someone Ty. You just have to find the right match for you." I said encouraging him.
"Sure.. let's hope for the best then." He said chuckling.
---
After a few days, I stayed in a hotel in France.
I called Tori immediately to tell her that I'm just nearby and I asked her if she wanted to meet and hang out while I'm here.
She was so excited to see me just as I am.
"Am I dreaming or what?" She said quite loudly once I met her in my hotel room.
"Nope.. this is real as it could be. Nice to see you Tori. It feels like a long time ago." I said walkong closer to give her a hug.
"So what brought you here?" She asked curiously.
"Haven't you always ask me to visit you? I finally got the time." I replied smiling.
Yup, I do remember telling you that if you ever got lost in Europe, you can always come find me." She said winking.
"So here we are.. I missed you a lot." I said.
I notice a big diamond ring on her finger.
"Oh my gosh! Is that what I think it is??.. " I was confused and excited at the same time.
I can't believe she's hiding something as big as this.
I held her hand and brought it closer to my view.
"Oh that.. yup, it's not so exciting once you hear the whole story. But as of now, I am currently engaged. I am not in the mood to talk about it so why don't we just talk about you instead?" She spoke tenderly but she doesn't seem to be joking as well.
I shook my head in confusion.
"Okay, but it's kind of ironic.. You'll become a bride soon. Why aren't you excited or happy about it? Are you getting force with this whole wedding thing?" I asked.
She shook her head.
"I wouldn't really say force but let's just say it's one of a kind business arrangement between two family. You know.." she didn't elaborate it more but I do understand what she means.
"Ouch.. it must still be upsetting." I said feeling bad for her.
"I've been prepared for this my whole life. Well, I guess there were those other times when I felt I could defy my family and choose love instead." The way her eyes flickers made me a bit anxious. The intensity of her staring directly at me so closely is making me really nervous.
I looked away not wanting it to get more awkward as I already am.
"Enough about me please.. she said as she turn her attention to her hand.
"Sorry.. I just don't really get how arrange marriage still exist" i said while rubbing her shoulder.
"It's fine Liv. There are worst things in life. This is nothing compare to others. Just think of having a roommate." She explained.
"Sure, will I meet this guy anytime soon?" I asked curiously.
She stood up without looking at me.
She cleared her throat for a second. "I think we should get something to drink. It's going to take a lot of catching up. Did you know Sarah stayed in France with me not too long ago?" She mentioned.
I drop my phone upon hearing Sarah's name.
She pick it up and handed it to me.
"So those drinks?" She smile at me again.
"Right.. Let's get some." I replied.
I cook some pasta and place the can of beers on our table.
We talk for so many hours, she mostly do the talking while I listen to her stories. She kept it lighthearted until she finally had enough
"So are we ever going to address the elephant in the room? C'mon Liv.. I've been waiting. I'm not planning to bring it up because I want you to be willing to talk about it." She said softly.
I look at her quietly.
"So Liv?" She asked me again.
"Fine.. what do you want to know? I don't think there's anything to add. I'm sure Sarah already told you all the important things." I said.
"I kinda knew that your story with Sarah isn't finish yet. Even before she regain her memories.. I've always felt that there is still that spark between you two." She mentioned softly.
I almost spit on my drink.
"Spark? That's a little corny. I don't think that term still applies to us. Anyway that story already ended months ago. " I corrected her.
She gave me a light jab while frowning disagreeably.
"Liv don't dare lie to me." She said looking way too serious right now.
"What??" I asked innocently.
"Are you not going to fight for this relationship? Are you just going to let her go?" She asked concerned
"It's for the best." I said while nodding my head.
"Are you sure?" She asked unconvinced.
"What do you think?" I return the question.
I don't feel like answering anymore. I'll rather ask the questions if I'm going to have to defend my choices.
"Sarah came to me. She didn't have anyone else to talk to. She's really heartbroken. I've never seen her like that before. She just kept on saying how much she mess things up. She was crying a lot. Totally in pain.. I know that she regret all her past choices and if you give her another chance, I think you guys are mature enough to handle it better." She said encouragingly.
"I don't know if I believe that.. What if we ended up making things worst. I believe that she loves me now but what happens in the future? Falling in love and staying in love aren't the same. We've been in that road before. It was ugly." I replied defensively.
"Then why did you even get back with her in the first place? If this is how you feel, why did you do it?" She asked.
I don't know..
I was overwhelmed with my emotions I think..
I shook my head and I don't really feel like talking about it anymore.
I'm just going in circles.
"You still love her.. that's why." She place both of her hands on my shoulder.
"Tori stop.. I'm not going to talk about her anymore. What's done is done." I said.
"It's not done. Deny it all you want Liv, but the only person you're really torturing right now is yourself. I'm telling you this as your friend who cares deeply about you. Don't let this person you love slip away from you. Trust me, you might regret this for the rest of your life. Can you actually live your life without Sarah? Your soulmate.." she said looking so seriously at me. Her full undivided attention.
I close my eyes for a second..
Then it hit me..
That time when I thought I'm going to lose Sarah for real. When she almost die in a car accident.
It was one of the hardest memory in my life.
I look down knowing that Tori had a point.
Sarah is not someone I could afford to lose.
"I get it." I said in a low voice.
She held my chin up.
"Be brave and go talk to her. You're the only person she listens to."
"I'll see her when I'm ready." I replied tapping her hands away to get another can of beer.
"Well you need to stop delaying it. Sarah's very beautiful. There's been an awful lot of guys flirting with her around here. I'm pretty sure it's the same case over where she is right now." She teased.
I frowned.
"So you've been helping her out to move on as quickly as possible." I said a little annoyed.
"Oh c'mon now.. if you aren't so stubborn, you two would have made up easily. Sarah is so in love you, she couldn't even care enough to give anyone some attention." She argued.
I felt my cheeks blush a little.
We kept on drinking for the rest of the night. I probably even pass out for a bit. It was about 3am when I woke up. She was trying to carry me to my bedroom.
"What time is it?" I asked confused.
"Time to go to bed." She replied almost in a whisper tone.
She can really hold her own liquor.
She carefully lay me down on my bed.
"Are you good?" She asked softly.
I nodded lazily.
She turn around and was about to walk out but I stop her.
"Stay over for tonight.." I said.
She smile at me.
"Are you still getting bad dreams?" She asked.
I pull her down next to me.
"Nope, but I'm not going to send you away in middle of the night. That is just too dangerous." I argue.
"I'll get my own room." She said kissing my forehead once.
"Good night Liv." She said.
She was about to get up but I hug her.
"Mhmm.. just stay here." I mumbled while I snuggle closer.
"Alright, close your eyes and sleep.. Don't get me in any trouble." She said while patting the top of my head like a kid.
I giggle softly.
"You're the best Tori.. I mean it. You're like my guardian. Always there at my lowest. The big sister I wish I had." I said wholeheartedly.
She hug me tighter.
I drift back to sleep like a baby.
The next day, Tori and I spend the whole day together. She show me all the great places around.
"I'm so glad that you were able to clear your schedule for me." I said feeling so thankful.
"Of course, I think you underestimate just how much important you are to me." She said smiling.
"Aw.. Tori aren't you just the sweetest?" I joke while pinching her cheeks.
She move further away while laughing.
"Stop pinching me like that. Am not a kid." She whined playfully.
She link arms with me as we walk to a restaurant.
I don't know how long we were chatting because we definitely stay a bit longer than usual.
She still refuse to disclose any information about her fiancé.
It got me really curious but I still respect her privacy.
Later that night, she drop me off and walk me to my hotel room.
She suddenly gave me a long hug out of the blue.
I stood awkwardly but I still receive her hug.
"Hm.. everything alright Tori?" I asked.
She chuckled softly.
She was still not moving away from her place.
"I'm just really glad you came to visit me. It took my mind away from my own problems." She said.
I pull away from the hug to meet her eyes.
"Tori.. what is it about? What can I do to help? Is this about the wedding?" I continuously ask questions.
She shook her head dismissively.
"It's fine Liv.. You don't have to worry about me. We all got some problems we are trying to run away from." She spoke calmly.
I frowned.
She continue talking. "But of course, by the end of the day, we should not run away for too long and face the reality of it right." She said smiling.
"You're making me very worried right now Tori." I said honestly.
She wave it off like it wasn't a big deal.
"It's getting late. You should get some rest. Thanks for today and good night." She said giving me a quick peck on my cheeks.
---
I woke up six in the morning with several of my phone notifications buzzing on my bed side table.
Apparently, I am the current hot topic in the social media. I thought it will be about my break up with Ivan which I was already expecting anyway.
But the media had spin in around and made it more scandalous.
They invented a story between me and Tori having an affair. All my photos with Tori past and present were exposed and exploited to make a villain out on us.
I immediately called Tori to apologize.
It was hard to reach her number.
She only gave me a message and we didn't get to talk on the phone.
She told me that I have nothing to apologize for and that she is now busy dealing with her own stuff at the moment. She worries that this scandal will also reach Sarah and she might misunderstood this whole thing. She encourage me to go and explain things to her.
She was right, Sarah might misunderstand everything.
I look at the photos and it was really bad. They made it seem so real.
I replied to her message and I apologize again. I told her that I will do my best to clear this misunderstanding as soon as I can. She didn't deserve any of this. I should have been more careful. There's no one else to blame but me.
I flew to Thailand the same day.
The news got worse in just a few hours.
Now they are saying that Tori and I are married and that I only use Ivan for fame and publicity.
Unbelievable!