Allison’s POV
It was weird, first I got high of the fumes, but then I just grabbed the bong and lit the lighter before taking in a couple more puffs.
I knew that this was bad, but I couldn’t control myself. Being high, it makes you feel happier. It’s like your memories of everything bad just fade away and all you can think about are good things. I feel energetic, like I want to listen to music and go for a drive. But I’m smart enough not to do anything. I found myself laughing with Shawn, my mother, and a group of people I’ve never seen before. I don’t know why I’m laughing, or what was so funny, but from what I’m aware of, it’s the effects of the weed.
My eyes burned attempting to open them to their regular length, but squinting my eyes was something that felt a lot easier.
I lit the lighter and placed it next to the spot where the weed was placed, letting the fumes come out more as I inhaled it. I felt light and free, and to be honest, the last thing on my mind was Zayn...and I feel relieved. Thinking about Zayn, and the rest of the boys, has stressed me out. His quick phone calls made me miss him and make me feel guilty for being here. But I have to be here. Like it or not, this is my life. I need to start getting used to it.
“Do you, do you see that?” James, a guy I recently met laughed as he pointed to the wall behind me. We all turned to see nothing, but for some reason we all bursted laughing.
“You’re and Idiot.” Shawn chuckled before standing up. He wobbly walked out of the room, and no one questioned it because really, no one cared.
After inhaling a bit more, I passed over the bong to the random girl beside me before standing up.
An arm was wrapped around my waist just as I got my balance. I turned to see it was one of the guys who had been sitting to the right of James. He, just like me, was high. His eyes were red but I couldn’t catch the clear vision of his face. It was blurry, and I felt a little light headed, but either way, I didn’t feel like myself. I caught the shade of his hair, it was a very, very dark brown, and a bit of blonde highlights peeked through.
He didn’t really make conversation with me. All he did was tug at my waist as he tilted his head towards the hallway leading towards the bedrooms.
With no reply, he took it as a yes and I was slowly being guided out of the room and into the black, empty hallway.
No one noticed us leave the room; they were all too focused on the drug being passed around.
There was no light in the hallway; therefore we couldn’t see a thing. After taking a few steps in, he moved my body so it was against the wall, the front of his waist grinded into mine as he applied more pressure. My stomach dipped in surprise.
His hands roamed the frame of my body. He started at my hips, before slowly sliding his hands upwards. He cupped my breasts lightly before he grabbed a hold of my chin and moving my head to the side. His tongue licked a small part of my neck as he blew over the spot. My body chilled at the feeling and goose bumps appeared on my arms. His hand was quick to rub over the bumps as his lips came to my neck.
He held me tighter as he kissed my neck softly. He kissed several spots before settling on an area under my jaw and at the beginning of my neck. His soft kisses quickly escalated to nibbling and sucking on the spot. His pace became rougher as the seconds went by. He stopped, moving his lips from my neck for a split second before placing them back. He continued to suck on the spot and I forced myself to hold back a moan. He was determined though. He continued to do as he pleased, sucking and biting but I didn’t give in. I’m not really sure if I like this.
His hands fell under my shirt and his lips didn’t move from its spot. He rubbed light circles onto my skin as his mouth parted lightly, only to allow his tongue to make a quick appearance.
I breathed in his aroma, and besides the smell of the weed, I was able to make out a familiar scent. It was his body spray. I took another sniff and I knew exactly why I recognized it. It was the same Axe spray that Zayn used.
The way he was rubbing my skin also reminded me of Zayn, plus the cologne and the colour of his hair- I was finished. I let out a moan, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. He smiled against my skin, satisfied that he had finally gotten me.
When I opened my eyes again I felt different. Looking at the frame of the unknown man in front of me looked familiar.
But then it clicked.
It was Zayn.
It had to be. Everything about him... it just had to be. My excitement got the best of me. My arms flew around his neck as I pulled his chest to clash with mine. I smiled as I smashed my lips with his. Although his lips felt fuller, I hardly took it into consideration. My legs made their way around his waist and his hand held me at my bum.
He kissed back, the way he kissed felt different and more force full. My lips separated as I allowed his tongue to mesh with mine. It was a messy, desperate kiss.
“Zayn...” I mumbled against his lips. He didn’t reply- to my surprise- but yet again, I didn’t take it into considerations.
He stumbled back until he hit my bedroom door.
He managed to get us in and lock the door behind him. I was thrown onto the bed and he didn’t wait to take off my clothes.
The room was dark, but there was a light glow from my small bedside table. The light was enough for us to see each other’s figures, but not clearly. I was standing in front of him in nothing but my undergarments. He studied my body and smirked, taking a step closer to me. His hand made contact with my waist as he pulled me so it would hit his.
He left trails of kisses up from my neck, towards my cheek, and stopped at my ear.
“What can I do to you?” He whispered.
“A-Anything,” I said almost...desperately? But I knew why I said it like that. Because it was Zayn and I was willing to do anything with him. Why? Because, I love him and he came to save me.
I woke up to an empty bed and I can honestly say that my heart broke. I felt depressed. My mood was a million times lower than last night. The marijuana definitely took its advantage of me.
I felt weak and used. I feel like an idiot for even thinking it was Zayn. Of course it wasn’t him. I guess last night he wasn’t the last thing on my mind.
He was just another guy who took advantage of me. I can’t really remember all details of last night, but I know the gist of what happened. I know he slept with me, while he convinced me he was Zayn, and I know that no one else in this damn house was sober enough to actually knock some sense into me. Not that they would care anyways.
Since being here, I rarely talked to my mom or anyone in general. I’m not happy to be here and they need to know that. They made me leave the life I used to dream for, the life where I can walk streets freely and breathe in non-toxic air.
I felt like I needed to cry because my emotions felt weird, but I can’t do it. I need to stay strong for myself. When I used to live here, I never cried. I learned to deal with it, and that’s what I need to do again. I want to call Zayn and explain to him what’s happening, but when I used to live here, I never had anyone to really talk to. I had to keep to myself. I want to call Niall and tell him I’m okay, and that I’m sorry for leaving him, but when I used to live here, I only got to talk to him twice within two months.
I’m slowly starting to get used to the life I used to live.
I got out of bed and dragged myself to the washroom. I wasn’t going to sit in bed all day and sulk about not being in London with the boys, it’ll only make me feel worse than I already do.
I looked in the mirror and wasn’t pleased. I hardly recognised myself. My eyes had bags under them, my hair was a mess, my skin looked dirty and my eyes weren’t the vibrant blue they usually are.
My eyes caught an old razor blade I would use to cut myself. Just looking at it reminded me all the times I’ve used it.
I picked it up and my stomach dipped.
I am getting back into old routines...right?
ouuuu tell me what you thought of this chapter? Poor Ally, everythings going wrong for her :(
What do you think of the new cover? Thank you LikeAStarXx for making it for me!
COMMENT VOTE COMMENT VOTE and I might just update early? Thank you all for your support throughout this entire book! It's come so far and I'm so happy with it!