I sit down in the chair across from Lord Hokage and next to Dad. This meeting feels important—Dad's presence here suggests that whatever it is, it's not something to take lightly.
"Like I said, this isn't really a mission," Lord Hokage says, resting his chin on one of his hands, watching me closely.
"Then what is it?" I ask, curious but slightly apprehensive.
"Sasuke and I have been thinking about things, you in particular," he says, glancing at Dad, who nods in agreement.
"What about me?" I ask, feeling a bit uneasy.
"Both Naruto and I came up with this idea... but listen, if you don't want to, you don't have to. All right?" Dad says, his voice serious.
"Just tell me, you're making me nervous," I say, trying to lighten the mood with a smile.
"Now, don't take this the wrong way," Lord Hokage begins, his tone measured. "We want you to take some time for yourself. You can go wherever you want. After the things you've gone through, we think it's well-needed that you have some quality time for yourself."
I freeze in shock. I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want without the village monitoring me? This sounds like an amazing opportunity. I could train, learn new jutsu, and get stronger. But there's got to be a catch, right? Why would they just let me go like this?
"So you're basically saying I need time for my mental health?" I say, pretending to be annoyed but secretly curious about their motives.
"No, no, I don—"
"I'm kidding, Lord Hokage. Even I know my mental health is going downhill," I say, laughing it off. "But this sounds too good to be true. What are the restraints of me going?"
"Sasuke," Lord Hokage says, signalling for Dad to talk.
"Well, the only condition we've decided on is that you have to be back within the time frame of four years," Dad explains, watching my reaction.
"Is that it? I was expecting more," I say, surprised by the simplicity.
"We can always add more if you'd like," Naruto says, flashing a cheeky smile.
"No, no, no, perfectly fine. Four years is great," I say, waving my hands to dismiss the idea.
"Okay, then it's settled. When do you want to head off?" Dad asks.
"If it's not a bother, I would like to leave now," I reply, focusing my gaze on the floor. I know it's sudden, but I don't see the point in waiting if I have this opportunity.
"Are you sure, Y/n?" Dad asks, his voice filled with concern.
"Yes, I'm sure," I say, glancing at the clock. We've been in this meeting for about ten minutes, which means I have fifty more before I meet up with Kawaki. "If you don't mind, I better get ready."
"If you say so," Lord Hokage says, a slight frown on his face at my quick decision to leave now.
I'm almost through the door when I pause, something on my mind. "Hey, Dad? Lord Hokage? I have a favour to ask," I say, my back still facing them.
"Yes?" Dad asks, his voice filled with curiosity and concern.
"I'd like only you two to know about this," I say, gripping the door handle tightly. "I want everyone else to think that I'm going on a mission, without knowing how long it will take. Especially, don't tell Mum or Sarada."
There's silence for a moment, and it stretches on, each second feeling longer than the last. Finally, Dad speaks up, his voice heavy with reluctance, "Fine. But please be safe and don't do anything rash."
"Thank you, Dad," I whisper, my voice almost breaking from the weight of the moment. I close the door behind me and sprint out of the building, making my way back home
──
I don't want Mum to see me walking into the house—she'll bombard me with questions and statements that I would rather not answer. I go around to the back of the house, where my bedroom window is. My bedroom is on the second floor, right next to Sarada's. I need to jump high enough to get to the window without being seen from inside.
I slide open my window and jump inside, relieved to find my room untouched—except for the fact that Mum cleaned it again. I let out a sigh. When I tell her to stop cleaning my room, I mean it. She'll end up finding things she'd rather not.
I pack some clean clothes, my ninja pack, and other essentials like a toothbrush and hairbrush. Everything else I can just buy—I'm basically rich from years of missions, and I've been saving up.
I walk out of my room and pass through the kitchen. Mum and Sarada are cooking dinner while Dad sits at the dining table, watching them. They seem to be bickering over how many tomatoes should go into the miso soup. Typical family stuff, but it feels distant to me now.
I'm halfway through the kitchen when Mum turns around and spots me. "Y/n, where are you going?" she asks, her voice tinged with worry.
"Mission," I say curtly, trying to cut off any further conversation as I walk toward the door.
"Remember to be safe, Y/n," Dad says, almost in a warning tone.
"I will," I reply, closing the door behind me.
"Y/n, please wait!" I hear Mum's muffled yell through the door, but I don't turn back. I don't say anything. She had her chance to talk to me for years, but it felt like she never really did. Now, she has the next four years to figure out what she's done.
It's almost 6 p.m. I spent twenty-five minutes packing, fifteen minutes with the Hokage and Dad, ten minutes getting back to the house—it all adds up to fifty minutes. I have ten minutes to meet Kawaki near the river. I hope he's already there. I start walking; there's no need to rush. It takes about ten minutes to walk to the river, and I need this time to clear my head.
──
As I walk along the riverbank, I have time to ponder over my thoughts. What will Kawaki say? Is he going to tell me something that will make my heart ache, or something that will bring me comfort? The possibilities are endless. My steps feel heavy with anticipation as I approach the spot where I see him lying on the hill, watching the sunset.
I put my bag down and lie down beside him. "So you actually came," Kawaki says, sounding a little surprised.
"Of course I did. I never break my promises," I reply, turning my head to look at him. His gaze is fixed on the sky, his hair swaying gently with the evening breeze, his lips slightly parted. He seems relaxed, and content in this moment. But there's something about his calmness that makes me anxious—I still have to tell him that I'm leaving for a while.
"So, did you want to talk about something?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Absolutely nothing," he says, his voice softer now. "I just wanted to be in your presence. I don't think you know how much comfort you bring me just by being here."
His words catch me off guard, and I feel a warmth rising to my cheeks. It's hard to believe that someone like him could find comfort in someone like me. It's almost like a dream, and if it is, I don't want to wake up.
"What are you thinking?" he asks, opening his eyes to meet mine. His grey, ashen eyes are mesmerizing, drawing me in.
I sit up and shift to lie on my stomach above his head, so now his head is below mine, and my legs swing behind me out of habit. He moves his hands from behind his head to rest on his stomach, stacking them one on top of the other.
"Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" I say softly, propping myself on my elbows, my hands gently cradling his head. I can hear his breathing skip when I touch his face, and I can feel the tension in the air.
Oh, Kawaki, what that man has done to you is unacceptable. The pain, the fear, the doubt—it's a burden you should have never had to carry. My heart aches for you, knowing that even the gentlest touch can make you hesitate. I wish I could take away the memories, and make them disappear, but I can't. All I can do is try to be here for you, to let you know you're not alone.
"Everything about you is beautiful, Kawaki," I whisper, my voice barely audible over the rustling of the breeze. "Especially your eyes—they're so pretty."
He looks at me, bewildered. "You could have anyone you want. Why would you want to be with me?" There's confusion in his voice, a trace of uncertainty that breaks my heart.
"You deserve everything, Kawaki. Don't stop what I'm about to do, okay?" I say, my voice trembling with fear of his reaction. "I want to embrace this moment before I tell you something."
If I tell him now, it might change everything. If I tell him now, he might think I want to leave him, that I don't care about him. But I can't let that happen. Kawaki deserves love, care, and all the good things in the world. He's been through so much, and I want to be the one to help him heal, to fill the emptiness in his heart.
"Tell me wha—"
"Shh, please," I say, closing my eyes and lowering my face closer to his. I can feel his breath against my cheek, the warmth of his presence, and it feels like the most comforting thing in the world.
I place my hand gently on his chest, feeling his heartbeat, slow and steady. It's like a rhythm that guides me, and calms me. As I move closer, the fear inside me seems to melt away, replaced by a quiet, comforting warmth.
This is a moment I want to hold onto. A moment where I can give him something he's been missing—love, compassion, understanding, "You are not alone, Kawaki. Not anymore."
I lean down.
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edited; 03/may/2024