The following days that came after Suhail and I started a relationship were the best times in my life. It was a moment that made me look at him in a different light, it was like the old Suhail that I know was replaced with a completely different person.
We were almost inseparable during the weekend that I was at home. I woke up to breakfast in my room kept by him, that was how Mommy realized something was going on. We spent the whole day talking about everything and nothing. The passion and compassion that surround you when you are in love is a very satisfying feeling.
I tried to tell myself that I had completely forgotten what happened on the ride it was the worst experience of my life. I try to forget the feeling of his hand groping my body which always goes unsuccessfully. My mood changes each time I think of it and knowing I am to be blamed makes anger boil within me. I would give everything I have to erase that day off my life if only there was a way. But knowing that I cannot live in the past, that I cannot spend my life being sad about something I cannot change or control makes me forget everything. I was able to put it behind me in two weeks I was strong enough to live through it.
Suhail's residency was yet to be changed but we meet every morning before lectures began, when we were both on break, before he went back home and we talked round the clock on phone. We had been texting almost nonstop, our chat log was basically just one long rambling conversation, where we picked up a new topic once the old one had been exhausted. Today like always I found my way back to my phone once I needed to rest my brain for a bit.
"Are you sure you are done?"
He asked for my confirmation after I replied to his previous messages which I promptly answered. There was a time when I was in the library studying with a few of my coursemates when I pretended to be done while I talked to him. I suffered the consequences of my actions in a surprise test that happened the next day so he promised to never let something of such repeat itself again, as if it will be possible.
I moved from my study desk to my bed getting more comfy as I typed to him. Each time his reply came in, I find my heart skipped a beat in response. It was bizarre how excited I was and it was a feeling that I pray will last forever.
To my utmost dismay, I wouldn't be able to go home for the weekend again, this time because of a lecture that will take place for an absurd reason. Who gives lectures on the weekends? I can answer that for myself- our lunatic biochemistry teacher who hardly comes to his weekday lecture but always keeps up with the one that the school doesn't know of, he is lucky nobody has reported him yet. I like learning a lot but anything that ruins my weekend sleep is my mortal enemy, in this case, my biochemistry teacher. I don't like him even a bit. Speaking of people I don't like, Abdallah had constantly been following me around the school but Suhail was always there to keep him in his place. I will never take part in any sinful act even with the person I'm in love with talk less of an animal like him. It makes me to actually wonder whether he is sick on the brain to think I will agree to his ridiculous request like what world does he think we live in? I think he lost his intelligence when Suhail took the best student position from him.
After the tedious lecture that lasted for two hours was done we went to the laboratory for a practical test which lasted for another two hours because we were not prepared and it was very difficult. I spent the remaining hours of the day catching up with my sleep only to end up being on the phone with Suhail the entire night because I forgot about having another lecture the following morning. Sunday also went the same way Saturday did except that the lecture lasted for an hour and the practical lessons for four, I stood for almost four hours straight apart from leaning on the wall for a few minutes. Why did I choose to study medicine?! I have to hear how Maryam is coping that she even gets the time to take pictures during lectures and practicals. The last time I looked at a camera apart from my everyday video call with Suhail was on my birthday.
I clean my room weekly on Sunday nights because that is only when I have the time to arrange things for the week. Suhail called while I was changing the sheets of my bed. I set the phone on the mirror while I switched the call to FaceTime connecting to my AirPods in the process and I continued with my cleaning whilst talking. He was making fun of how lazy I am for cleaning only once a week and I tell him it's not laziness but a lack of time. Along going back and forth on whether it is laziness or a lack of time our conversation got down to a different topic, a topic I have been discreetly avoiding.
"I refuse to answer that name from you" He stated after I whined his name in frustration when he wouldn't stop calling me lazy. And yes I have given it a thought since I changed his name on my phone but I haven't called him with it yet. I decided to call him with the thing that I thought about him when I first saw him, he was my prince charming in shiny armor. I changed his name to charming, my charming.
"I am waiting," He told me bringing me out of my thoughts and I smirked in response. "What is mine?" I asked him as I sat on the mirror stool giving him my full attention.
He pretended to think for a second. "Rayuwa am" He held my gaze.
This is not fair. I know rayuwa means life in both Fulani and Hausa but I don't know am, I regret not learning the language. "You know I don't understand Fulani" He laughed. "That is for you to worry"
The conversation once again drifted from knowing what his new name was to my newfound conscience of learning the language. "Madam smartpant tell me my name" He stated bringing an end to our banter.
I wiggled my hands across my face and bathed my eyelashes at him taking my time before I told him, I was about to speak when a knock on my door interrupted me. He grumbled at the second knock and I giggled while I got up to open the door not telling him the name like he wanted.
It was Fatima, Suhail's coursemate. We have only talked thrice since I started studying here, she doesn't hide her dislike towards me, as if it was my fault that he doesn't like her. We were haplessly in the same dorm but avoided each other like a plague so it was a big surprise to see her at my door. "Can I come in?"
I moved back as she entered and closed the door. "I just heard your birthday was last month"
My eyes rolled on their own at her statement and Suhail laughed at my reaction. She is yet to notice him and I nod my head in response.
"Why are you here?" I asked her as I got my legs on the bed folding them together. Her presence irritates me.
"I came to wish you and get you for your late birthday gift" She answered smiling which was plainly fake and she walked to the door. "It's outside follow me" She added.
"You don't have to I am fine with just your belated wish" I am not being rude or anything but I don't want a gift, especially from her.
"Please" She pleads and I shake my head no because I seriously don't want it and I'm not following her outside this late alone, she might kill me for all I know.
"I swear I will not force it on you if you don't want it," She tells me again as she waits for my response.
I had forgotten about the call going on with Suhail until he speaks "Just go and see it"
She has still not seen him because she did not look at my mirror not even a glance. "Alright, I'm coming" I answered her as I stood up and she left the room. I know she is only getting me a gift to impress him.
I put my hoodie head on to cover my head too lazy to wear a hijab and it's actually very late, a few minutes past twelve. "Remind me why you introduced her to me," I told him after I picked up my phone.
"She is a nice girl once you get to know her" He advised. "Get to know her?" I scoffed. "When all she is trying to do is steal my boyfriend"
"Don't worry I'm all yours" He said.
"I know"
I answered him as I removed my AirPods carefully so as not to end the call and put them back in their case.
"I'm waiting to hear all about it," He said referring to the so-called gift. "Yeah bye" I rolled my eyes again.
"I love you," He tells me before he ends the call.
My heartbeat quickens every time I hear these words, I never thought words would be this powerful. They consume my every thought and echo through my head.
I sluggishly strolled to the hostel gate where I met her and we walked to the parking lot, What kind of a gift is she getting me?
"So?" I asked her after we stopped walking and she sighed.
"I am sorry Hafsat" I gave her a confused look as she continued speaking. "I badly want Suhail and someone wants you"
Someone from behind covered my nose with something I don't know. I tried to get out of the person's hold when darkness suddenly claimed me.
.
.
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😢