ˏˋ°•* 𖤐 ❝ YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL ❞
❪ you stick your knife right through me ❫
YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL
PHASES - MAGGIE LINDEMANN
──── CHAPTER XI
As Ryker sat on the floor of her bedroom, listening to her record player quietly spin 'Folklore' by Taylor Swift as she also had her TV playing 'The Turning'. It was probably a mess to everybody else, but watching your a movie with your comfort artist playing in the back at nighttime was the ultimate comfort to Ryker.
The music was quiet enough just for some ambience, to keep her heart rate at a steady pace while watching a startling movie. As much as Ryker loved the thrill she got from the movie, it was all expected now due to how many times she had watched it.
And seeing Finn on her screen had almost made it even more comforting. A familiar face on her screen. Finn looking as gorgeous as ever on the screen, knowing he's much more beautiful in person. How fluffy his hair looked, how his freckles gently coated his cheeks and they were much more visible in person.
And every time she saw his face, she had made her mind flashback to the times he used to knock on her window and climb in without her mom knowing and every night her mom would wake her up and find the two asleep in Ryker's bed and wake the two up very loudly. It always made the two laugh cause her mom was never mad about it, just liked to see the smiles on their faces when they woke up to each other.
Sometimes they would wake up on their own and just stay in each other's arms before either of them decides to utter a word. Finn would always be the first one to say 'Hi.' He never said 'Good morning.' it was always a simple 'Hi.' And she loved everything about waking up to him. From his smile, to his morning voice.
And how he would drive her to set every morning after (im)patiently waiting for her to get ready. How he would stand over her and lean his hands against her vanity, and would lean down and whisper in her ear, then kiss her cheek and walk away. No matter how many times he did that, it would always leave her a blushing mess.
She was quickly brought out of her thoughts by a jumpscare in the movie that startled her, then heard a knock on her window which scared her even worse.
"Fuck!" She slightly shouted in fear, making her way to her bedroom window to check if there was a monster or a person. And to her surprise, she saw Finn outside. Just like the old times, drenched in rain, making his hair curl even more.
She smiled softly at him before she chuckled at his pleading face and opened her window, letting him slip himself into her bedroom and watched as he removed his now rain-soaked hoodie.
"Thanks for taking your sweet time!" Finn jokingly said, smiling at the girl as he ran a hand through his rain-soaked hair. "But thanks for letting me in at all."
"Yeah. No problem." She smiled, watching him sit in her chair at her writing desk. She couldn't help but find herself attracted to him right now. The way his shirt stuck to his body and his wet curls hung loosely over his forehead, covering his eyes almost.
She heard him sniffle and sat down across from him on the end of her bed, pausing the movie on her TV, looking at his back but saw a smile playing on his lips in the reflection of the mirror. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't know." He responded simply, turning around to face her but lean his head against the back of the chair and stare at the ceiling. "I wanted to see you, I guess."
"Again?" She giggled, watching him stand up and sit down on the bed next to her, looking up at her TV to see his own movie displayed.
"So, you're watching The Turning? Again?" He propped himself up, leaning back on his hands as he looked over at Ryker who playfully rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"It's a good movie!" Ryker defended herself and heard him chuckle as he laid back properly on her bed and watched her sit on the end of the bed."I actually love it."
"But do you love it more than high school musical?" He smiled, looking at Ryker, who gave him a 'seriously?' look, hinting at him to know his limits.
"You look lonely down there. Come here!" He went to wrap his arms around her, watching her shake her head and he leaned down to grab her by the waist, hearing her screech as his cold hands pressed against her waist.
"No- Finn! No- you're freezing!"
Finn playfully lunged at her and grabbed her waist, as he pulled her back and she laid on her back against his chest due to him holding her tightly in his arms while she tried to squirm away. The two laughed and he pulled her closer, keeping his arms around her.
"You're trapped now." He gently smiled at her. Hearing her laugh was like music to his ears. Ryker and Finn being this close for the first time in awhile has returned the butterflies in his stomach that he hasn't felt in while.
Even though his skin was freezing and his wet hair dripped on her shoulder, she finally gave into his embrace.
"You're so..." She chuckled as she looked up at the boy who had hearts in his eyes, staring at her and she nervously looked towards the TV.
"Cute? I'm glad you think so." His playful smirk was enough to make her heart melt. He was so beautiful.
"Yeah, so does your girlfriend." She hummed and playfully tapped his cheek twice.
"So, what's your favorite part of the movie?" Finn questioned as he tried to change the topic.
"I like when Miles yells at Kate to stop the car." Ryker shrugged her shoulders and chuckled to herself, knowing how crazy it was to everybody else.
"Why?"
"It's hot."
"Thanks." He smirked, watching her playfully roll her eyes at the boy.
"Dont let it get to your ego." Her response had sent a blush to his cheeks, making him laugh nervously.
Ryker had felt Finn adjust his body to be at eye level with her. She rolled on her left side to look him directly in the eye and watched as he repeatedly made a pattern, looking from her lips to her eyes. She knew when he was nervous he struggled to keep eye contact.
Ryker couldn't handle the thoughts running through her head, and she couldn't handle not knowing what was running through his head. She quickly pulled away and cleared her throat, sitting up straight as she kept her distance between him.
"Are you okay?" He questioned, watching her stand up from the bed and walk over to her record player.
"I'm fine." Ryker stated, gently removing the needle from the sage vinyl; using her delicate touch to slip the colored vinyl back into its rightful slot.
"Talk to me." He pleaded with the brunette girl who huffed as she looked back at him.
"You wouldn't like what I have to say." Ryker said and held onto his hands, quietly singing the lyrics to herself. He grabbed her hands and the two laughed loudly as they danced together to Taylor Swift. It was great, it was just like the past; only they weren't together.
"Try me." Finn's eyes burned passionately into hers, leaving her upset and confused before she finally said what she should've said as soon as he walked into her room.
"Finn. You have a girlfriend. And though, she's a bitch, I'm not letting you cheat. Got it?" Ryker explained. "So, I'm sorry. But I think you should go home to your girlfriend 'cause I'm not gonna stand around and wait until you decide what or who you want, alright? I'm not an option on the table. I'm my own person, and I'm not gonna be known as 'The girl Finn could've had."
He simply nodded, sitting down on her bed with a chuckle. "I should've broken up with her a long time ago...but I didn't cause I...I thought this was gonna go away."
Ryker furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and looked down at the ground, unsure of what he was talking about. "What was gonna go away?"
"This stupid 'crush' on you." Finn explained, leaning back on the bed and staring at the ceiling. "I thought I could've kept us platonic and professional and I can't. And you don't understand."
"I really live in your head rent-free, huh." She chuckled, confident, keeping her guard up. "It must suck, really. Always having somebody on your mind who keeps you up for so long, you lose too much sleep and show up to work completely out of it and need three coffees to get you through the day, huh? 'Cause I wouldn't know anything about that."
"Your taunting isn't funny."
"I'm not trying to be funny."
"Then what are you doing, exactly?" Finn questioned the girl who stood across from him with a taunting smirk.
"Figuring out your motives?" She shrugged with a small smile. "You can talk pretty all you want, but pretty words don't mean shit when they're contradicted so often."
"So, I'm a contradict now?" Finn questioned the girl who chuckled.
"Now? Babe, you always have been." She rolled her eyes, smiling at the boy who couldn't believe her. "As I said: Go home to your girlfriend. Somebody else can fall for your words for a few hours."
"Ryker!"
"Finn!"
He huffed and puffed, walking towards the window, sliding it open and hesitated, looking at his reflection in the window, noticing her behind him. Her hard gaze, now softened and sad.
He sighed, slipping himself out the window and slowly climbed down the later, watching Ryker walk up to the window and close it.
AUTHORS NOTE:
me and ryker 🤝🏼 self-sabotaging