Forty Six, Terrified Blues
Standing outside of the hospital, eyes locked on the stars of the night sky — She felt kind of pathetic. Like an infant who'd lost their favorite toy ( the one that they felt kept them safe ), the toy their parents wouldn't look for, because they simply didn't care. Luna knew the feeling all too well, her mother had been one of those parents. Careless.
I don't care, stop fuckin' crying!
Luna could go home, she was well aware of that fact .. But, when she thought about it. She didn't have a home, not necessarily. It was a new ground breaking fear that almost made her throw up stars, eyes crystals & dizzy like old cartoons. So lost in her drowning abyss of thoughts, she didn't hear the hospital doors open — and they were quite loud.
Her form jumped gently as soft cloth, a flannel, was draped over her cold, goosebump shoulders .. arms slipping into the material, carefully. Stiles couldn't help himself, placing a gently kiss to her temple. "Thank you."
The girl sighed, "Stiles, I didn't do anything—"
"Luna, you saved my Dad's life, okay? That wasn't just nothing." The girls eyes fluttered shut, a warm hand of her's running over her clammy face. "I-I, um, better text Malia .. She can pick me up or something." Her words were soft, almost not heard, and Stiles brows were furrowed in confusion. "Why — Why would you do that?" Luna's eyes finally seem to meet his, if felt like she hadn't really looked at him in a lifetime. And if anyone was looking from afar; They'd see teenagers in love.
Luna cleared her throat gently; suddenly feeling beyond stupid, she should've known better. This was Stiles, Stiles Stilinski.
"M'figured you wouldn't want me staying over, I guess.." He almost scoffed, but stopped himself as he pulled his keys from his pocket — A hand gently landing on the small of the girls back. "C'mon.."
It was like being wrapped in warm cinnamon, autumn wood aftershave, & sugar-sweet kisses. That was Stiles Stilinski in simpler words.
Luna Sage loved the Stilinski home, it was like being wrapped in a warm hug; something her own home never was & never would be. But Stiles would change that, cause he never planned on leaving Luna's side — like, never again.
Stiles watched the way Luna's shoulders slowly fell, stress melting away, as she stepped into the atmosphere of his boyish bedroom. And she flinched gently as the boys hand landed on her shoulder, he frowned gently. "You okay?"
The girl shrugged, "I don't really know." She truly didn't, she had no clue what was wrong with her. And she felt sick; fish out of water.
It was all Stiles needed to hear, gently wrapping his arms around the girl from behind her — like she was stained glass. Her eyes fluttered shut in a familiar bliss, leaning back into Stiles' form. The boys lips hovered right by her ear, soft whispers of children in love. Dolls in clear glittered boxes; Valley of the ( Dead ) Dolls. "I'm sorry."
Luna smiled, arms wrapping around his own. Was that what they were? Soft moments and I'm sorry's? Until they were dark times and blood filled actions. "I'm sorry too, for a lot of things." And just like that, his arms gently slipped away from her — Like she had just burned him. "Luna, we're a mess."
"Well, Noah's okay now. So, it's good, things are okay." The boy cracked a soft smile, gently toeing off his shoes, slumping into his bed. "That's not what I'm talking about, and I think you already know that." Luna sighed, talking, this is what he meant. Luna hated talking, she hated sad feelings. She wanted to live in a moment of bliss forever.
A doll in a box, dolls in boxes. Valley of the Dolls.
Stiles patted the area next to him, Luna hesitatingly crawled over — Cinnamon reaching her senses as it swallowed her whole. Warm and bubbly sweet.
Stiles knew he had to ask the questions first for this to work, he knew Luna like the back of his hand. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours, yeah?" The girl sighed, eyes falling shut as she fell back into Stiles' pillows; He watched her with a faint sweet smile. "My head is about to e-explode. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not one to be freaked out, since I've gotten bit, and now, all I can do is be terrified. Terrified of the unknown, of the Dread Doctors, the Chimera's, Theo, myself. Stiles, I don't want to hurt anyone. And I don't want to hurt you anymore . . . And if that means locking me away in Eichen for the rest of my life, then so be it! I—I can't lose you."
The boy frowned gently, leaning on his side, a warm hand gently caressing the girls cheek — She was hot to the touch. Her watery eyes bored into his whiskey hues, "you won't, okay? You won't lose me, ever. M-Maybe, if it ever feels like that, just know you won't? Alright? I'm yours, before, now, and after. It's us, Lu. You and I." The girl smiled, cheeks puffy and rosy as tears fell slowly; The boy wiping them away gently. "Luna, you're burning up. You sure you're okay?" The girl shrugged, "I-I don't know how to describe it .. But I feel really icky and.."
"Tired?" The girl sighed, "Y-Yeah. But, I can't sleep. I don't want to, and it's fine, I can handle—"
"Luna, baby, you gotta sleep. You're exhausted, I can see it in your eyes. Please, I won't leave, I'll be here when you wake up."
"You promise?"
"I promise, Lu."
Luna Willow Sage was truly scared of a lot, despite what we all think. And she was most terrified of herself, and how she wouldn't be able to control her hands one day.
A doll on strings, a puppet.
"Are you sure this is a good idea? I-I mean you just got out of surgery, like yesterday!" Noah Stilinski cracked a smile, arm looped with Luna's. "I'm fine, I told you. Told you both." Both sets of eyes moved to Stiles' sleeping figure, before they traveled out the room and towards the morgue. "So, how much did you say happened that night?" Luna hummed, the two staring down at a lifeless Donovan — He looked kind of peaceful. And it made Luna feel kind of sick. "A lot."
Both sets of eyes looked away from the dead boy, gazes landing on Stiles at the doors. Noah looked between the two teenagers, "Theo, he told me a story about the library. It's how it happened, it just didn't happen to him. It happen to you two."
Luna nodded gently, Stiles sighing, "Yeah."
"I can't protect you both if I don't know the truth." Luna took a deep breath, a cold hand slipping into Stiles' warm one. And he suddenly felt like he could conquer the world. "Did you guys really feel like you couldn't tell me?" Stiles stared down at his hand connected with Luna's, he loved this girl, so much. Luna's eyes locked on Noah, "I-I, um, had no problem .. But it wasn't really up to me." Luna and Noah's eyes moved to Stiles, the boy taking a deep breath. "I couldn't tell anyone."
Noah sighed, their voices as light as feathers. "Did you think that I wouldn't believe that it was self-defense? Both of you? Luna grows claws for God sakes." Stiles sighed, "but what if it wasn't. What if I told you I wanted him dead."
Noah nodded, "I'd believe you. I also believe that wanting someone dead and murdering them are two very different things."
"Yeah, but what if a judge doesn't think so."
"Then to hell with the judge. Stiles, it was self-defense . . . And I would destroy every shred of evidence to protect you both if I had to. I would burn the whole Sheriff's station to the ground."
Luna watched as both Stilinski's pushed Donovan away gently, locking the boy away for good — Stiles' fears going with him. "What about upholding the law? What about Kira?"
"Kira, was a mistake. I guess I'm learning how to bend."
"So, what? It—It just goes away?"
Noah sighed gently, "not for you. Not for her, I know, she's been suffering with that pain for months." Stiles' eyes flickered to Luna, the girl holding up a faint reassuring smile .. The boy slipping his arm around her shoulders; holding her close. Luna gently tucked herself into his side. Noah bit back a smile. "The problem now, Stiles, is how to bear this burden. This kind of thing is not at all uncommon in the law enforcement. A fatal mistake. A partner who dies. Or one who gets paralyzed. Stiles, you carry that with you. Sometimes it doesn't truly feel okay again until there's a kind of counterbalance."
"Like what?"
"Like instead of taking a life, you manage to save one. You saved yourself, you saved Luna. Something like that can help, but maybe only for a moment. But, the real conflict you're having now is between your head and your heart. Your head, it knows that the only crime you committed was surviving. That's how Luna goes on, she may not know it, but that's how it works. And .. Your heart? Your heart still thinks it was murder. So, I guess you, you just have to get your heart to catch up to your head."
The young boy sighed, Luna's grip tightening: she glued her eyes shut. "I feel like it's more than guilt though, you know, I feel like . . . Like I lost something. And I can't get it back."
"You won't. Not entirely. But, you can get a little back by starting to forgive yourself."
There was truth in something: Luna wanting to help desires. To feel blood soak her hands like vanilla soap. She want to bleed in secret, but the blood would never be her's. Always someone else's. Everyone from Theo's shit pack, she wanted to feel Theo bleed. She wanted him gone. She couldn't explain her anger when it came to him, she couldn't describe the desire to just have him disappear. To have him dead, and she would be at fault. And, a lot of her, didn't care.
Luna's breaths were steady — adrenaline filled. Eyes locked on Malia's back, Luna's claw wrapped around a man's throat. So close to piercing, but not, she held herself back for the sake of her closest friend. Her Malia Tate & her killer mother; 'Cause Luna knew how it went. Mal wanted her mother dead; Luna had killed her own mother & barely anyone knew.
Malia opened her front door softly, Luna just listening to the conversation — Braden's gaze locked on the teenage girls claws. "You didn't have to come all the way out here."
"You weren't answering your phone." Scott.
Luna & Malia we're alike in a lot of senses. Animals who killed and ate, habits they couldn't break. Malia was better at breaking it than Luna was, but Luna couldn't help it. Teeth had sunk into her moon pale skin when she was sixteen, and the wires in her brain switched. On bad days, she'd preferred pathetic guys over pizza.
Malia & Luna never found it in themselves to be mad at each other anymore. To hate one another. There was something different hidden under their layers of shared lies & soft touches — that wished to be more sometimes. But Malia knew, she'd finally realized, Luna could never be her's. Not as long as Stiles walked on this Earth: This universe. So, Malia, she did what she could with the situation. Luna would be at her side, their killing sides of best friends. They cared too much about one another to suffer in silence, they could suffer with one another.
"Scott, I can't help you. Not right now."
"What if I told you that you're the only one that I have left?"
"You're not going to want my help."
"Anything that happened between us-"
"I'm talking about something that's going to happen. Something I'm going to do. And you're not going to like me much after I do it."
Scott McCall didn't believe in killers.
"Is that why I hear three other heartbeats in there?" Malia stayed silent, "and that's why yours is beating so fast?"
"Scott, go home. I can't help." And with sullen faces, Malia turned as did Scott, in defeat.
Luna let out a sigh as Malia shut the doors, their eyes locking. "Anything?" Braden hummed, a knife pressed to the man's skin, but not slicing. Luna's grip tightened, "fuckin' nothing!" Malia landed a kick at the man's gut, the two supernatural's shoving him against the Tate fire place — Photos gently shaking at the impact. Braden stood behind the two girls. "You think you can make me talk? I am Spetsnaz. Soviet Special Forces. In battle, we kill our own wounded." Luna & Malia shared a look, twinkles of anger rushes in their eyes. "We're alike then, all three of us."
Grips tightened. "You could tear out my fingernails, cut my lips with razors. I'll still say nothing."
"Correct me if i'm wrong," Braden broke the man's little tangent. "—but, your section is out of work and broke, right?"
"You won't get a word out of me."
"Ten Thousand."
The man flattered, soft smirk on his lips. And Luna wondered, how would she do with that much money. Leave Beacon Hills, change her name, move to Italy and never worry about Werewolves again.
The man's accent was heavy when he spoke, Luna liked the way it sounded. "The Desert Wolf was last seen close to the Canadian border. She won't travel by plane." The man ran his thick fingers over the money in his hands. "She will stay away from surveillance cameras when she can."
"Then we still have some time."
"There's another reason she won't fly. She's not traveling alone." Luna rolled her eyes at the words, a soft sigh slipping past her. "What do you mean?"
Luna thought for a moment, eyes wide as they snapped towards Malia. "She had a hostage. An animal doctor." Luna took a breath, Malia's gaze switching to the Wendigo. "Deaton. He came back, helped me and left again .. And Scott can't get ahold of him anymore. Your Mom has Deaton, Mal."
Luna jogged down the Tate front steps, Malia following suit. "Thanks," Luna turned towards the girl with a smile. "Thanks for helping, I know you haven't told Stiles what we're doing .. But I really appreciate your help." Luna let out a soft sigh, not bothered, a kind of relief. "With my Mom .. I wasn't thinking. It was pure anger. You're going at it with a smart way, and I'll help however I can. You're my girl, Mal." Malia bit back a smile, cheeks rosy and chubby. "Drive carefully." Luna hummed sliding on her bike, the one she hated .. It had been her mother's. It screamed Marie Sage, it always had.
Marie shoved it towards her daughter when she turned sixteen, and Luna never touched it. Truly terrified of something that belonged to her mother. But Malia live so far from the main parts of town, and she couldn't ask Stiles for a ride. So, the bike was pulled from storage — smelling like her mother's cigarettes. Luna's fingers running over a design she painted on the bike, stomach turning with rage. She'd give it all to be a different person. "I'll text you." And Luna set en route to the hospital, and when she arrived she texted Malia & made her way towards Noah's room.
Greeted by the soft smile of Noah Stilinski himself, Stiles didn't even gaze up to look at her — eyes locked on a laptop. "Hi baby," he muttered the words as Luna pressed a soft kiss to his head. "You feeling okay?" Noah smiled warmly, "I cannot wait to go home—"
"You know they brought in another body from last night!"
Luna sighed at Stiles' words, Noah frowning. "Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't find out. Either one of you."
"Wait — Wait, I think there's footage missing." Luna's eyes switched to the screen at her boyfriend's words, Noah looking as well. "I think there's something missing in your head." Luna stifled a giggle. Stiles waved off his father, "you need your rest." Noah rolled his eyes, trying to snatch away the device.
Luna's eyes widened at Stiles replaying a certain clip. His eyes slowly moving to her's, "that — that's huge." Stiles took a deep breath, "looks like a beast."
Luna had grown a hate for herself every time she stood in the McCall home. She trailed behind Stiles, hands stuffed into the pockets of a jean jacket. Her heart breaking at the gash on Scott's middle, the one she caused. The Alpha nodded towards the two.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Hisies."
"Still not healing?" Luna wanted to throw up, Scott shrugged gently. "It's fine, though, y'know, just takes a little longer sometimes." Luna took a deep breath, "I'm sorry—"
Scott was quick to cut her off with a warm honey smile, "I already told you it was alright. That wasn't you. Anyway, what are you guys doing here?"
The couple shared a look, then gazes back on Scott. "Ah, you heard about the guy who got killed out at the communication towers, right?" Scott nodded, "I think Lu and I might've figured something out." Stiles couldn't seem to look at Scott's eyes for too long, anxiety.
". . You guys want my help?" Scott's voice was soft, shocked, almost pleading. Stiles nodded gently, "yeah, well you said you can find the clues that I can't." Scott hummed gently with a smile, "and you have Luna for that." The girl rolled her eyes fondly, "this is Stiles trying to apologize, he's obviously not very good at it. He needs the both of us, y'know, we're a trio and what not." Stiles let out a puff of air, cheeks rosy, nodding towards the girl. "Yeah, what she said.."
Scott smiled warmly, nodding. "What can I help you guys with."