gone girl.
━━━ the staff of hermes.
❀
Living as normal teenagers after they had both gone through hell felt absurd but incredibly refreshing. Amaryllis thought everything was finally alright as she laid next to her boyfriend, sunglasses on as the surprisingly warm sun of September lit up the Great Lawn in Central Park. They were relaxing on a comfy blanket, with some snacks and water bottles amongst them, as well as a box of pizza. Normally, Amaryllis was in charge of the music, but that day they had decided to not have any music and just enjoy the peace.
"You know... today is September eighteenth," Percy said. He was leaning on his elbow as he was laying, so he could look at her.
It was hard to get concentrated on anything but his girlfriend when she looked like that. Her tanned skin glowed under the sunlight and she was wearing some kind of cherry-flavoured lip balm that he had grown addicted to tasting. She was dressed casually; she was wearing one of Percy's Led Zeppelin t-shirt that she had shamelessly stolen a few weeks ago and denim shorts, while her blonde hair was slightly darker than usual, after she had impulsively dyed it at the beginning of the month. Sometimes he couldn't believe he had been so lucky that someone as beautiful as her liked him back.
"Mhm," she said. "So?"
"So that makes today our one-month anniversary," he said and he watched as a small smile form on her lips.
"Oh yeah. I thought that's why we were having..." she stretched her arms. "This."
Percy couldn't help but feel that a simple picnic wasn't enough to celebrate their first kiss. It didn't feel enough. That last month had been the happiest he had ever been, but he couldn't stop second-guessing himself. Even though Amaryllis was pretty chill when it came to their dates and she didn't necessarily need something extreme to feel content, Percy wanted to be the best possible boyfriend. Besides, that was what she deserved.
Before he could tell her about this thoughts, a sudden streak of light made him blink, as if someone had flashed a mirror in his face. He looked around and he saw a brown delivery truck parked in the middle of the Great Lawn where no cars were allowed. Lettered on the side were the words: HERMES EXPRESS.
"Oh, good," Percy muttered. "We've got mail."
"What?" Amaryllis asked and she took off her sunglasses, leaning on her elbows.
He pointed at the truck. The driver was climbing out; he wore a brown uniform shirt and knee-length shorts along with stylish black socks and cleats. His curly salt-and-pepper hair stuck out around the edges of his brown cap. He looked like a guy in his mid-thirties, but Percy knew from experience he was actually in his mid-five-thousands.
Hermes, messenger of the gods, dispenser of heroic quests, and frequent cause of migraine headaches. He looked upset as he kept patting his pockets and wringing his hands. Either he'd lost something important or he'd had too many espressos at the Mount Olympus Starbucks. Finally he spotted the couple and beckoned them over.
"Can we please ignore him? Pretty please," Amaryllis begged. "I can just put on my sunglasses again and we can pretend you have some kind of vision impairment."
"I'd love to, but you know how gods are," Percy sighed. He stood up and held his hand, which Amaryllis used to pull herself up.
"He better be quick," the girl muttered as they made their way to the god.
Interacting with gods was never easy for Amaryllis Kalomiri. She didn't have the best relationship with any of them, but considering her and her friends had fought his demigod son Luke, who'd been corrupted by the Titan Kronos, in a mortal combat smack-down for the fate of the world, her and Hermes never got along.
Percy decided to start simple. "Hi," he said.
Hermes scanned the park as if he was afraid of being watched and then glanced at Amaryllis, before turning back at Percy. "I didn't know the girl would be here. She'll have to swear to keep her mouth shut."
Amaryllis raised an eyebrow. "The girl has a name and you know it very well. If you want us to help, you should learn how to use it."
The god glared at the girl, but she didn't even flinch. "Promise. Before I explain the problem, both of you must promise to keep silent."
"Where's your staff?" Percy suddenly said.
Hermes's eye twitched. He looked like he was about to cry. "Oh, gods," Amaryllis laughed. "You lost your staff?"
"I didn't lose it!" Hermes snapped. "It was stolen. And I wasn't asking for your help, girl!"
"Fine," she said. "Solve your own problem then, for once. Come on, Percy. We have a date to continue."
As much as Percy would like to go back to kissing and having a fun, peaceful time, he also knew that the problem of gods were more often than not their problems as well. He risked stepping between them, before any of them did anything stupid. "Mar, tell you what. This sounds important. Let me hear him out, and I'll meet you back at the picnic blanket, okay?"
Amaryllis glared at both Percy and Hermes, muttered something under her breath, but nodded. She walked back to their blanket, her arms crossed as she wondered why the gods were so useless that they could never do anything themselves. She thought that after the war ended, they would finally give them a break—let them live like normal people, but it was obvious that they were too dependent on demigods.
Percy came back a few minutes later with an expression she couldn't exactly decipher. Knowing her boyfriend, he had found himself in another impossible situation. "Well?" she demanded.
"Good news." He told her everything Hermes told him; how he needed them to track down Cacus to get his staff back and bring it back to the god no latet than five. Then he gave her one of his dorky smiles, probably hoping it would soften the blow.
Spoiler alert: it didn't.
"Why is tracking down a firebreathing giant good news?" she asked. "And why would I want to help out Hermes? He's rude and a little-"
"Yes, I get it," Percy cut her off before she completed the sentence. "But George and Martha need our help. They're the... snakes that live on Hermes' staff."
"Of course they are," Amaryllis said, sarcastically. "What about our date, Perce?"
"Afterward, I promise I have planned something for our anniversary. Something really cool." He moved his hand across his chest in the shape of a cross. "Cross my heart and hope to die."
Amaryllis could never stay mad at him anyway. "Fine. Let's just be quick."
She stowed their blanket in her backpack and put away the food. The only thing she kept out was Annabeth's shield. Like a lot of magic items, it was designed to morph into a smaller item for easy carrying. The shield shrinks to plate size, which is what they'd been using it for. Amaryllis brushed off the crumbs and tossed the plate into the air. It expanded as it spun and when it landed in the grass it was a full-sized bronze shield, its highly polished surface reflecting the sky.
"Why do you have Annabeth's video shield?"
"She forgot it at my house last time we had a sleepover," the girl said and made a shushing gesture. "Shield, show me Cacus."
Light rippled across the bronze surface. Instead of a reflection, they were looking down at a landscape of dilapidated warehouses and crumbling roads. A rusty water tower rose above the urban blight.
Amaryllis snorted. "Hilarious."
"What do you mean?" Percy asked.
"That's Secaucus, New Jersey." She rapped her knuckles on the bronze surface. "Okay, you have a sense of humor, nice. Now shield, show me the location of the fire-breathing giant Cacus."
The image changed. This time they saw a familiar part of Manhattan: renovated warehouses, brick-paved streets, a glass hotel, and an elevated train track that had been turned into a park with trees and wild flowers. "That's the High Line park," Percy said. "In the Meatpacking District."
"Yeah," Amaryllis agreed. "But where's the giant?" She frowned in concentration. The shield zoomed in on an intersection blocked off with orange barricades and detour signs. Construction equipment sat idle in the shadow of the High Line. Chiseled in the street was a big square hole, cordoned off with yellow police tape. Steam billowed from the pit.
Percy scratched his head. "Why would the police seal off a hole in the street?"
"I think I remember this," Amaryllis said. "It was on the news yesterday."
"I don't watch the news."
"Shocking." She sighed. "My mom told me about it. A construction worker got hurt. Some freak accident way below the surface. They were digging a new service tunnel or something, and a fire broke out."
"A fire," Percy said. "As in, maybe a fire-breathing giant?"
"I mean, sure," she agreed. "The mortals wouldn't understand what washappening. The Mist would obscure what they really saw. They'd think the giant was just like—I don't know—a gas explosion or something."
"We should catch a cab," Percy finally said. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "You're the coolest girlfriend ever."
She tried to hide a smile. "I know right."
❀
The cab dropped them off on West 15th. The streets were bustling with a mix of sidewalk vendors, workers, shoppers, and tourists. They made our way to the construction site. Two police officers stood at the intersection, but they didn't pay them any attention as the two turned up the sidewalk and then doubled back, ducking behind the barricades. The hole in the street was about the size of a garage door. Pipe scaffolding hung over it with a sort of winch system, and metal climbing rungs had been fastened into the side of the pit, leading down.
"Ideas?" Percy asked her.
"We climb down," she said. "We find the giant. We get the caduceus."
"Wow," the boy said. "Are you sure you're not a daughter of Athena? This much wisdom..."
"Shut up, Fish Breath."
They climbed over the barricade, ducked under the police tape, and crept toward the hole. Percy kept a wary eye on the police, but they didn't turn around—useless, as usual. Sneaking into a dangerous steaming pit in the middle of a New York intersection proved disturbingly easy. The rungs seemed to go down forever. The square of daylight above them got smaller and smaller until it was the size of a postage stamp. They couldn't hear the city traffic anymore, just theecho of trickling water. Every twenty feet or so, a dim light flickered next to the ladder, but the descent was still gloomy and creepy.
Percy was vaguely aware that the tunnel was opening up behind me into a much larger space, but he stayed focused on the ladder, trying not to step on Amaryllis' hands as she climbed below him. He didn't realize they'd reached the bottom until he heard Amaryllis' feet splash.
"Holy shit, Percy. Look."
He dropped next to her in a shallow puddle of muck. He turned and found that they were standing in a factory-sized cavern. Their tunnel emptied into it like a narrow chimney and the rockwalls bristled with old cables, pipe, and lines of brickwork—maybe the foundations of old buildings. Busted water pipes, possibly old sewer lines, sent a steady drizzle of water down the walls, turning the floor muddy. Percy didn't want to know what was in that water.
There wasn't much light, but the cavern looked like a cross between a construction zone and a flea market. Scattered around the cave were crates, toolboxes, pallets of timber, and stacks of steel pipe. There was even a bulldozer half-sunken in the mud. Even stranger: several old cars had somehow been brought from the surface, each filled with suitcases and mounds of purses. Racks of clothing had been carelessly tossed around like somebody had cleaned out a department store. Worst of all, hanging from meat hooks on a stainless steel scaffold was a row of cow carcasses—skinned, gutted, and ready for butchering. Judging from the smell and the flies, they weren't very fresh.
Amaryllis made a gagging sound. "I hate this."
"It almost makes me want to turn vegeterian."
The daughter of Hades pointed to the far end of the cave. "Maybe he's down there."
Leading into the darkness was a twenty-foot-diameter tunnel, perfectly round, as if made by a huge snake. Percy didn't like the idea of walking to the other side of the cave, especially through that flea market of heavy machinery and cow carcasses. "How did all this stuff get down here?" he felt the need to whisper, but his voice echoed anyway.
Amaryllis scanned the scene. She obviously didn't like what she saw. "They must've lowered the bulldozer in pieces and assembled it down here," she decided. "That's probably how they dug the subway system a long time ago."
"What about the other junk?" he asked. "The cars and, um, meat products?"
She furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't know, Percy. Some of it looks like street vendor merchandise. Those purses and coats... the giant must've brought them down here for some reason." She gestured toward the bulldozer. "That thing looks like it's been through a lot."
As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he saw what she meant. The machine's caterpillar treadswere busted. The driver's seat was charred to a crisp. In the front of the rig, the big shovel blade was dented as if it had run into something, or been punched. Still, what was the most disturbing was that tunnel on the far side of the cave. Demigods didn't do well underground; even Amaryllis, who was the daughter of Hades, seemed to be uncomfortable.
They had just reached the middle of the cave when a groan echoed from the far tunnel. They ducked behind the bulldozer just as the giant appeared from the darkness, stretching his massive arms. "Breakfast," he rumbled.
Percy could see him clearly now, and he wished he couldn't. As Hermes had said, the giant was about ten feet tall, which made him small compared tosome other giants he'd seen. But Cacus made up for it by being bright and gaudy. He had curly orange hair, pale skin, and orange freckles. His face was smeared upward with a permanent pout, upturned nose, wide eyes, and arched eyebrows, so he appeared both startled and unhappy. He wore a red velour housecoat with matching slippers. The housecoat was open, revealing silky Valentine-patterned boxer shorts and chest hair of a red/pink/orange color not found in nature.
Amaryllis looked disgusted. "Why does he look like that?" she muttered.
Unfortunately, the giant had extremely good hearing. He frowned and scanned the cavern, zeroing in on our hiding place. "Who's there?" he bellowed. "You—behind the bulldozer."
Amaryllis and Percy looked at each other. She mouthed, Oops.
"Come on!" the giant said. "I don't appreciate sneaking about! Show yourself."
Percy took out his ballpoint pen and uncapped it. His bronze sword Riptide sprang to life. Amaryllis pulled out the shield and her shadow sword, Skia. None of their weapons looked very intimidating against a dude that big, but together they stepped into the open.
The giant grinned. "Well! Demigods, are you? I call for breakfast, and you two appear? That's quite accommodating."
"Uh, nope. We're not breakfast," Amaryllis said.
"No?" The giant stretched lazily. Twin wisps of smoke escaped his nostrils. "I imagine you'd taste wonderful with tortillas, salsa, and eggs. Huevos semidiós. Just thinking about it makes me hungry!"
He sauntered over to the row of fly-specked cow carcasses. Percy's stomach twisted. He muttered, "Oh, he's not really gonna—"
Cacus snatched one of the carcasses off a hook. He blew fire over it—a red-hot torrent of flame that cooked the meat in seconds but didn't seem to hurt the giant's hands at all. Once the cow was crispy and sizzling, Cacus unhinged his jaw, opening his mouth impossibly wide, and downed the carcass in three massive bites, bones and all.
"Damn," Amaryllis said weakly. "We're screwed."
The giant belched. He wiped his steaming greasy hands on his robe and grinned at them. "So, if you're not breakfast, you must be customers. What can I interest you in?" He sounded relaxed and friendly, like he was happy to talk with them. Between that and thered velour housecoat, he almost didn't seem dangerous. Except of course that he was ten feet tall, blew fire, and ate cows in three bites.
Percy stepped forward, pushing Amaryllis behind his back so he could keep Cacus' attention on him. "Um, yeah," he said. "We might be customers. What do you sell?"
Cacus laughed. "What do I sell? Everything, demigod! At bargain basement prices, and you can't find a basement lower than this!" He gestured around the cavern. "I've got designer handbags, Italian suits, um... some construction equipment, apparently, and if you're in the market for a Rolex..." He opened his robe. Pinned to the inside was a glittering array of gold and silver watches.
Amaryllis couldn't even fake that she was impressed. "So... designer knockoffs you stole from the street merchants."
The giant looked offended. "Not just any knockoffs, young lady. I steal only the best! I'm a son of Hephaestus. I know quality fakes when I see them."
Percy frowned. "A son of Hephaestus? Then shouldn't you be making things rather than stealing them?"
Cacus snorted. "Too much work! Oh, sometimes if I find a high-quality item I'll make my own copies. But mostly it's easier to steal things. I started with cattle thieving, you know, back in the old days. Love cattle! That's why I settled in the Meatpacking District. Then I discovered they have more than meat here!" He grinned as if this was an amazing discovery. "Street vendors, high-end boutiques—this is a wonderful city, even better than Ancient Rome! And the workers were very nice to make me this cave."
"Before you ran them off," Amaryllis said, "and almost killed them."
Cacus stifled a yawn. "Are you sure you're not breakfast? Because you're beginning to bore me. If you don't want to buy something, I'll go get the salsa and tortillas—"
"We were looking for something special," Amaryllis interrupted. "Something real. And magic. But I guess you don't have anything like that."
"Ha!" Cacus clapped his hands. "A high-end shopper. If I haven't got what you need in stock, I can steal it, for the right price, of course."
"Hermes's staff," Percy said. "The caduceus."
The giant's face turned as red as his hair. His eyes narrowed. "I see. I should've known Hermes would send someone. Who are you two? Children of the thief god?"
Amaryllis spun her sword. "If you only knew how offensive that is..."
"I'm Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon," he told the giant and put out his arm to hold Amaryllis back. "This is Amaryllis Kalomiri, daughter of Hades. We help out the gods sometimes with little stuff, like—oh, killing Titans, saving Mount Olympus, things like that. Perhaps you've heard stories. So about that caduceus... it would be easier just to hand it over before things get unpleasant."
He threw back his head and laughed. "Oh, I see! That was supposed to scare me! But alas, the only demigod who ever defeated me was Hercules himself."
Percy turned to Amaryllis and shook his head in exasperation. "Always Hercules. What is it with Hercules?"
Amaryllis shrugged. "He had a great publicist. Better than us, apparently."
The giant kept boasting. "For centuries, I was the terror of Italy! I stole many cows—more than any other giant. Mothers used to scare their children with my name. They would say, 'Mind your manners, child, or Cacus will come and steal your cows!'"
"Stop it, I have chills," Amaryllis deadpanned.
The giant grinned. "I know! Right? So you may as well give up, demigods. You'll never get the caduceus. I have plans for that!" He raised his hand and the staff of Hermes appeared in his grip.
Percy had seen it many times before, but it still sent a shiver down his back. Godly items just radiated power. Intertwined around the staff were two live, very agitated serpents. Percy! A reptilian voice spoke in his mind. Thank the gods!
Another snaky voice, deeper and grumpier, said, Yes, I haven't been fed in hours.
"Martha, George," Percy said. "Are you guys all right?"
Better if I got some food, George complained. There are some nice rats down here. Could you catch us some?
George, stop! Martha chided. We have bigger problems. This giant wants to keep us!
Cacus looked back and forth from him to the snakes. "Wait... You can speak with the snakes, Percy Jackson? That's excellent! Tell them they'd better start cooperating. I'm their new master, and they'll only get fed when they start taking orders."
The nerve! Martha shrieked. You tell that ginger jerk—
"Hold on," Amaryllis interrupted. "Cacus, the snakes will never obey you. They only work for Hermes. Since you can't use the staff, it doesn't do you any good. Just give it back and we'll pretend this never happened."
"You should listen to her," Percy chimed in. "My girlfriend is really intelligent."
The giant snarled. "Oh, I'll figure out the staff's powers, girl. I'll make the snakes cooperate!"
Cacus shook the caduceus. George and Martha wriggled and hissed, but they seemed stuck to the staff. Percy knew the caduceus could turn into all sorts of helpful things—a sword, acell phone, a price scanner for easy comparison-shopping. And once George had mentioned something disturbing about "laser mode." He really didn't want Cacus figuring out that feature.
Finally the giant growled in frustration. He slammed the staff against the nearest cow carcass and instantly the meat turned to stone. A wave of petrifaction spread from carcass to carcass until the rack became so heavy it collapsed. Half a dozen granite cows broke to pieces. "Now, that's interesting!" Cacus beamed. The giant swung the staff in their direction. "Yes! Soon I will master this thing and be as powerful as Hermes. I'll be able to go anywhere! I'll steal anything I want, make high-quality knockoffs, and sell them around the world. I will be the lord of traveling salesmen!"
"That," Percy said, "is truly evil."
"Ha-ha!" Cacus raised the caduceus in triumph. "I had my doubts, but now I'm convinced. Stealing this staff was an excellent idea! Now let's see how I can kill you with it."
"Wait!" Amaryllis said. "You mean it wasn't your idea to steal the staff?"
"Kill them!" Cacus ordered the snakes. He pointed the caduceus at them, but the silver tip only spewed slips of paper.
Amaryllis picked up one and read it. "You're trying to kill us with Groupons," she announced. "'Eighty-five percent off piano lessons.'" She raised an eyebrow and put one in her pocket. "Will might be interested."
"Gah!" Cacus glared at the snakes and breathed a fiery warning shot over their heads. "Obey me!"
George and Martha squirmed in alarm. Stop that! Martha cried.We're cold-blooded! George protested. Fire is not good!
"Hey, Cacus!" Percy shouted, trying to get back his attention. "Answer our question. Who told you to steal the staff?"
The giant sneered. "Foolish demigod. When you defeated Kronos, did you think you eliminated all the enemies of the gods? You only delayed the fall of Olympus for a little while longer. Without the staff, Hermes will be unable to carry messages. Olympian communication lines will be disrupted, and that's only the first bit of chaos my friends have planned."
"You have friends?" Amaryllis asked.
Cacus waved off the question. "Doesn't matter. You won't live that long, and I'm only in it for the money. With this staff, I'll make millions! Maybe even thousands! Now hold still. Perhaps I can get a good price on two demigod statues."
Percy wasn't fond of threats like that. He'd had enough of them a few years ago when he fought Medusa. He wasn't anxious to fight this guy, but he also knew they couldn't leave George and Martha at his mercy. Besides, the world had enough traveling salesmen. Nobody deserved to answer their door and find a fire-breathing giant with a magic staff and a collection of knockoff Rolexes.
Percy looked at Amaryllis. "Time to fight?"
She gave him a sweet smile. "After you, pretty boy."
❀
Charging in without a plan was generally speaking a stupid tactic. But Amaryllis and Percy had been fighting together for the past two years. They knew each other's abilities, they could anticipate each other's moves and they knew how to communicate without having to exchange words. They were unstoppable together.
Amaryllis veered to the giant's left. She was surprisingly good at fighting with a shield, even though as far as Percy was aware, it was the first time she used one. Percy charged Cacus head-on. He was still out of sword-reach when the giant unhinged his jaw and blew fire. Percy managed to leap to one side, but he could feel his arms starting to warm up and his clothesigniting. He rolled through the mud to douse the flames and knocked over a rack of women's coats.
Amaryllis used the distraction to strike. She lunged at Cacus from behind and stabbed him in the back of the knee—usually a nice soft spot on monsters. She leaped away as Cacus swung the caduceus, barely missing her. The silver tip slammed into the bulldozer and the entire machine turned to stone. "I'll kill you!" Cacus stumbled, golden ichor pouring from his wounded leg. He blew fire at Amaryllis, but she effortlessly dodged the blast.
Cacus bellowed in pain. He turned with surprising speed, smacking Percy with the back of his hand. He went flying and crashed into a pile of broken stone cows. His vision blurred and though he could hear Amaryllis calling out his name, her voice sounded as though it were underwater.
Move! Martha's voice spoke in Percy's mind. He's about to strike!
Roll left! George said, which was one of the more helpful suggestions he'd ever made. The demigod rolled to the left as the caduceus smashed into the pile of stone where he'd been lying. Before the giant could do anything else, Amaryllis smacked Annabeth's shield across the giant's backside. Cacus staggered, but before Amaryllis could hit him again, he turned and snatched the shield from her. He crumpled the Celestial bronze like paper and tossed it over his shoulder.
Amaryllis let out a whimper and Percy knew she was worried that, if Cacus didn't kill her, Annabeth would.
"Enough!" Cacus leveled the staff at her. Percy was still dizzy and his spine felt like it had been treated to a night at Crusty's Water Bed Palace, but he stumbled forward, determined to help his girlfriend. Before he could get there, the caduceus changed form. It became a cell phone and rang to the tune of "Macarena." George and Martha, now the size of earthworms, curled around the screen.
Good one, George said.
We danced to this at our wedding, Martha said. Remember, dear?
"Stupid snakes!" Cacus shook the cell phone violently. Eek! Martha said. Help—me! George's voice quivered. Must—obey—red—bathrobe!
The phone grew back into a staff. "Now, behave!" Cacus warned the snakes. "Or I'll turn you two into a fake Gucci handbag!"
Amaryllis ran to Percy's side. Together they backed up until they were next to the ladder. "So obviously our plan of having no plan didn't work," she noticed. She was breathing heavily and the left sleeve of her t-shirt was smoldering, but otherwise she looked okay. "Any suggestions?"
Percy's ears were ringing. Her voice still sounded like she was underwater. Underwater. He looked up the tunnel—all those broken pipes embedded in the rock: waterlines, sewerducts. Being the son of the sea god, he could sometimes control water. Why hadn't he thought of that before?
"I don't like you!" Cacus yelled. He stalked toward them, smoke pouring from his nostrils. "It's time to end this."
"Hold on," Percy told Amaryllis and wrapped his free hand around her waist. He concentrated on finding water above us and thankfully, it wasn't hard. He felt a dangerous amount of pressure in the city's waterlines, and he summoned it all into the broken pipes.
Cacus towered over them, his mouth glowing like a furnace. "Any last words, demigod?"
"Look up," Percy told him.
The whole cavern rumbled as a thousand water pipes burst overhead. A not-so-clean waterfall slammed Cacus in the face. Percy yanked Amaryllis out the way, then leaped back into the edge of the torrent, carrying her with him. "What are you—?" She made a strangling sound. "Ahhh!"
He'd never attempted this before, but he willed himself to travel upstream like a salmon, jumping from current to current as the water gushed into the cavern. If you've ever tried running up a wet slide, it was kind of like that, except at a ninety-degree angle and with no slide—just water. Far below they heard Cacus bellowing as millions, maybe even thousands of filthy gallons of water slammed into him. Meanwhile Amaryllis alternately shouted, gagged, hit Percy, called him endearing pet names like "Idiot! Stupid—dirty—moron—" and topped it all off with "Kill you!"
Finally they shot out of the ground atop a disgusting geyser and landed safely on the pavement. Pedestrians and cops backed away, yelling in alarm at their sewage version of Old Faithful. Brakes screeched and cars rear-ended each other as drivers stopped to watch the chaos. Percy willed himself dry—a handy trick—but he still smelled pretty bad. Amaryllis had old cottonballs stuck in her hair, a wet candy wrapper plastered to her face and a murderous look which Percy hoped it was targeted towards the giant more so than him.
"That," she said, "was disgusting."
"On the bright side," Percy said, "we're alive."
"Do you see me holding the goddamn caduceus?"
He had almost forgotten about that minor detail. But maybe the giant would drown. Then he'd dissolve and return to Tartarus the way most defeated monsters do, and they could go collect the caduceus. That sounded reasonable enough.
The geyser receded, followed by the horrendous sound of water draining down the tunnel, like somebody up on Olympus had flushed the godly toilet. Then a distant snaky voice spoke in Percy's mind. Gag me, said George. Even for me that was disgusting, and I eat rats.
Incoming! Martha warned. Oh, no! I think the giant has figured out—
An explosion shook the street. A beam of blue light shot out of the tunnel, carving atrench up the side of a glass office building, melting windows and vaporizing concrete. The giant climbed from the pit, his velour housecoat steaming, and his face spattered with slime. He did not look happy. In his hands, the caduceus now resembled a bazooka with snakes wrapped around the barrel and a glowing blue muzzle.
"What is that?" Amaryllis asked faintly.
"That," he guessed, "would be laser mode."
❀
Amaryllis and him fled as another laser bolt gouged a ditch through the street to their left. Chunks of asphalt rained down like confetti. Behind them, Cacus yelled, "You ruined my fake Rolexes! They aren't waterproof, you know! For that, you die!"
They kept running. Percy's hope was to get this monster away from innocent mortals, but that's kind of hard to do in the middle of New York. Traffic clogged the streets and pedestrians screamed and ran in every direction. The two police officers they'd seen earlier were nowhere in sight, maybe swept away by the mob.
"The park!" Amaryllis pointed to the elevated tracks of the High Line. "We should get himoff street level—"
BOOM! The laser cut through a nearby food truck. The vendor dove out his service window with a fistful of shish kebabs. The demigods sprinted for the park stairs. Sirens screamed in the distance, but Percy didn't want more police involved. Mortal law enforcement would only make things more complicated, and through the Mist, the police might even think Amaryllis and him were the problem. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time police would blame the black kid for something he hadn't done.
They climbed up to the park and Percy tried to get his bearings. Under different circumstances, he would've enjoyed the view of the glittering Hudson River and the rooftops of the surrounding neighborhood. The weather was nice and the park's flower beds were bursting with color. The High Line was empty, though—maybe because it was a workday, or maybe because the visitors were smart and ran when they heard the explosions. Somewhere below them, Cacus was roaring, cursing, and offering panicked mortals deep discounts on slightly damp Rolexes.
He looked at Amaryllis. "Your turn for a brilliant idea."
"Working on it." She was beautiful in combat. Percy knew that was a crazy thing to think, especially after they'd just climbed a sewage waterfall, but her dark eyes sparkled when she was fighting for her life. Her face shone like a goddess's, and Percy had seen plenty of goddesses. The way her crystal amulet rested against her neck—Okay, maybe he got a little distracted.
"Okay, I've got this," she said, a determined look on her face. "All I need you to do is grab the caduceus while he's distracted."
"Maybe you should elaborate a little on how you're going to distract him?" Percy said. She didn't reply, which just made him more worried. "Mar?"
"Just trust me."
"DEATH!" Cacus stormed up the steps and onto the High Line. He spotted them and lumbered over with slow, grim determination.
Amaryllis winked at Percy, enjoying the slightly panicked expression and turned invisible. She heard her boyfriend call out her name, but she was too busy running behind the ugly giant and his glowing bazooka. She had no doubt that Percy could handle himself as she got ready to start her plan.
She could see Percy distract Cacus a little further away and it was good enough for her to turn back visible. She hadn't used her powers in a while, but she was pleasantly surprised over how much control she had over them. She closed her eyes and focused on her hands. Soon enough, shadows started coming out of her hands and creeping up to where Cacus stood, oblivious to everything that she was doing.
She exchanged a look with Percy, who had already managed to get ahold of the caduceus and nodded.
Percy smiled at the giant. "Actually, Cacus, I have another secret weapon."
The giant's eyes lit up with greed. "Another weapon? I will steal it! I will copy it and sell the knockoffs for a profit! What is this secret weapon?"
"Her name is Amaryllis," he said. "And she's one of a kind."
Amaryllis' shadows turned physical as they grew around Cacus' hands and feet like chains. He was held down and, as much as he was trying to shake them off, it was impossible for him to get out of them. "Quick!" she yelled at Percy.
Her face was white from the effort of keeping the giant in his place. Thankfully, Percy got the message. Hermes' staff turned once again back in laser mode and the son of Poseidon took aim at the giant. The caduceus blasted its beam of blue light, and the yelling giant disintegrated into a beautiful starburst.
Immediately after that, Percy started running to Amaryllis. She was grinning like crazy, although it was obvious the effort exhausted her. "I told you all you had to do was trust me," she told him.
"That was amazing," he agreed. His eyes gleamed with adoration as he stared at her. "You're amazing."
It's hard to pull off a romantic kiss when you're both drenched in muck, but they gave it their best shot. When Percy finally came up for air, he said, "Rats."
"Rats?" she asked. She pulled out her phone and checked the time. "Shit! It's almost five. We have to get the caduceus back to Hermes!"
"Can you shadow-travel?" he asked and she nodded. She grabbed his hand, closed her eyes and they faded into the darkness.
❀
They met Hermes by the Atlas statue at Rockefeller Center.
"Thank the Fates!" Hermes cried. "I'd just about given up hope!" He took the caduceus and patted the heads of his sleepy snakes. "There, there, my friends. You're home now."
Zzzzz, said Martha.
Yummy, George murmured in his sleep. Hermes sighed with relief. "Thank you, Percy."
Amaryllis cleared her throat. "Oh, yes," the god added, "and you, too, Kalomiri. I just have time to finish my deliveries! But what happened with Cacus?"
Percy told him the whole story. When he related what Cacus had said about someone else giving him the idea to steal the caduceus, and about the gods having other enemies, Hermes's face darkened. "Cacus wanted to cut the gods' communication lines, did he?" Hermes mused. "That's ironic, considering Zeus has been threatening..." His voice trailed off.
"What?" Amaryllis asked. "Zeus has been threatening what?"
"Nothing," Hermes said. It was obviously a lie, but Percy'd learned that it's best not to confront gods when they lie to your face.
"Okay..." he said. "Any idea what Cacus meant about other enemies, or who would want him to steal your caduceus?"
Hermes fidgeted. "Oh, could be any number of enemies. We gods do have many."
"You? No way," Amaryllis deadpanned.
Hermes nodded. Apparently he didn't catch the sarcasm, or he had other things on his mind. Percy got the dark feeling the giant's warnings would come back to haunt them sooner or later, but Hermes obviously wasn't going to enlighten them then. The god managed a smile. "At any rate, well done, both of you! Now I must be going. So many stops—"
"There's the small matter of my reward," Percy reminded him.
Amaryllis frowned. "What reward?"
"It's our one-month anniversary," he said. "Surely you didn't forget."
She smiled at Percy and it was enough for him to think that fighting a fire-breathing giant was worth it.
"Ah, yes, your reward." Hermes looked them up and down. "I think we'll have to start with new clothes. Manhattan sewage is not a look you can pull off. Then the rest should be easy. God of travel, at your service."
"What is he talking about?" Amaryllis asked.
"A special surprise for dinner," Percy said. "I did promise, didn't I?"
Hermes rubbed his hands. "Say good-bye, George and Martha."
Good-bye, George and Martha, said George sleepily. Zzz, agreed Martha.
"I may not see you two for a while," Hermes warned. "But... well, enjoy tonight."
He made that sound so ominous, Percy wondered again what he wasn't telling them. Then he snapped his fingers, and the world dissolved around them.
❀
Just like that, they were in Thassos, Greece.
Percy couldn't pull his eyes away from her. Hermes had magically arranged this so they had changed clothes. Now, Amaryllis was wearing a blue sundress and white low-heel sandals. She didn't look like she had just escaped from a sewage, which was nice. Her hair was braided and pulled back with a blue ribbon, but small strands of hair still framed her face. She looked absolutely radiant.
Amaryllis was staring back at him. It took him a minute to realise that he was now wearing a white linen shirt and beige, loose-fitting pants. Percy secretly hoped Hermes let them keep these clothes, because even though they weren't dressed extravagantly, he still had never looked so well dressed as in that moment.
"Where are we?" Amaryllis looked around.
Percy knew he had to take advantage of Hermes' desperation to earn a date for their first anniversary. He could have chosen any place in the world, but he knew Amaryllis well enough to know that she'd always choose home. She was a deeply sentimental person—as much as she certainly wouldn't mind eating dinner in Paris or Rome, it would never compare to the happiness of her visiting the place where she spent her early childhood.
He couldn't help but grin at her expression when he saw her eyes light up. "Percy..." she said, seemingly speechless as she slowly realised why that beach looked so familiar.
"Surprise!"
"I..."
"I'm the best boyfriend in the world, I know," he teased her.
Amaryllis turned and faced him with a smile so beautiful that words could never even get close to describing. "You are," she said and hugged him. "I can't believe you. You remembered!"
"Of course," his tone softened.
He knew she was trying not to get too emotional, but he noticed how she quickly wiped a tear from her cheek. After the four years she spent at Ogygia and the war, Amaryllis had started to believe she might never visit Thassos again. And then she died—died knowing she had never gotten the closure she craved for so long. Percy knew how important that island was for her and he couldn't be happier to be there to witness her pure joy.
She clapped with a child-like enthusiasm. "Okay! We'll go to the family tavern first, so I can introduce you to my Aunt Evaggelia. Next stop is our old house and then- Oh, there is my favourite beach! We can shadow-travel there. There was a little shop as well..."
Percy wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "I can't wait to meet the rest of the Kalomiri family."
The family tavern, Olympia's Kitchen, looked very traditional. Percy had never visited Greece before, but it looked exactly how he expected it from Amaryllis' stories. Near the sea, the salt air made the atmosphere look really familiar for him. People were very friendly; from the moment they stepped in the tavern and Amaryllis got to reunite with her aunt, everyone treated them like a celebrity.
Amaryllis had cooked up some stupid excuses, saying she was there with Percy's family, who was there on vacation. Aunt Evaggelia didn't seem to buy it, but didn't ask too many questions regarding their cover story. She was too distraught from seeing her niece after so long. She completely abandoned her shift and sat with them for a while. At first, Percy thought it would be awkward, but Amaryllis' aunt would always try to include him in the conversation. After a while, they reached a point where they'd joke around with surprising ease.
The food was better than Percy expected. Him and Amaryllis hadn't ordered too many stuff, but Aunt Evaggelia was hell-bent on making him try a bunch of different things from the menu.
"Eat, honey, eat," she said. "Everything is paid by me!"
"Oh, no, θεία," Amaryllis said. "You don't have to-"
"Sh!" The woman crossed her arms with a proud smile. "Αυτό που είπα θα γίνει. And if your mother has any complaints, she'll have to take it up with me."
After they were done with their food, they visited Amaryllis' childhood house. With their fingers laced together, she would tell him all about the village she grew up with. Stories about eccentric neighbours, her first crush and heartbreak when that girl moved away and her family. They walked around the island until the sun went down.
After Amaryllis' request, they watched the sunset together from her favourite spot on her favourite beach.
"I know this isn't the best time," she said, her face suddenly serious, "but do you have any idea why Hermes acted so nervous? I don't know, I have a bad feeling..."
Percy shook his head. I may not see you for a while, the god had said, almost like he was warning them about something to come. "Let's just enjoy tonight," he finally said, squeezing her hand. "Hermes will be teleporting us back in an hour."
"This date was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," Amaryllis said and her brown eyes met his dark green. "Seriously, I- I don't know what to say."
"Hey, you deserve it. You deserve to be happy."
She smiled playfully, sort of avoiding going deeper on the subject, though it didn't matter. "Percy Jackson, you do realise you've exceeded my expectations now? There's no coming back from that. You'll have to go all out for our second anniversary."
Percy's eyes widened a little. "I hadn't thought about that."
"And our third... you better buy me a castle on our third..."
"Shut up," he laughed. Before she could continue teasing him, he pulled her in for a kiss.
It was enough to make him forget all about the gods, monsters and wars. It was enough to make him feel hope that everything would be okay. As long as he was with her and she was with him.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
▊im not even joking when i say that percyllis is the best ship ever created. get yourself a guy that will take you fighting a fire-breathing giant and then take you to visit your estranged family!!! get you a guy that simps for you even during battle!!! percy jackson and amaryllis kalomiri are the blueprint.
▊the book is finished im literally crying over the way ill destroy this ship in heroes of olympus and make them go through HELL :) remember and cherish the good times guys!!