I.
1921 | Birmingham
"Woah, you don't look too good." Finn chuckled at her cousin. She glared back at him. He was right, she didn't look good. The shadows under her eyes and her hair that was tangled proved it.
"Shut up, Finn." She hissed, slouching down in the chair beside Finn. She had had a horrible night with Carissa, she was screaming at her the whole night. Carissa was a lovely girl, and was always running and giggling 'til she couldn't anymore, just like her nan. Always smiling and making other laugh at the worst of times. But she was a completely different girl at night.
She was never a good sleeper. She used to scream and sob until her lungs gave out and then she'd just let out silent cries. She'd have dreams, bad ones, she saw things too. She'd be so scared to go to sleep. She used to say, 'the ghost lady' was watching her, in the corner of her room at night, always whispering and warning her, 'don't stop running, or he'll get you.' She said she'd dream of 'the man in the shadows' , as little Cara would call him, she'd said, he would always follow her in her dreams.
She was like her grandmother, the great Polly Gray, she was very in-touch with her gypsy side. At first she thought it was just Carissa's imagine until she told her own mother.
It broke Maggie's heart, watching her young daughter like this, scared to close her eyes and fall into a deep slumber. She had asked her mother about it and she tried to help with some herbs to relax her little girl, and it was working, but Mags was prepared for the day they'd just stop working.
The worst was in the past and it was way better than before. She'd have more mild dreams and, yes, she still dreamt of the man in the shadows and sometimes the ghost lady visited her, but only sometimes.
The two cousins sat there, hearing Cara's scuttling feet rushing around on the ceiling. It was a sad day for the family, more for Ada, as it was her husband's funeral. Finn and Mags were waiting for Cara and Polly. She was happy for her mum to dress little Car, while she poured some whiskey.
"She'll be okay." Maggie muttered to herself, not loud enough for Finn to hear, before she sipped the copper liquid that used to string her throat. She knew Ada's love for Freddie was unmatched but her love for Karl was stronger, and she knew Ada wouldn't let him see his mother cry.
"D'hear from Ada? Like she alright?" Finn questioned, looking at her.
She shook her head, "No and I'm guessing not, but today she will be strong for Karl so we have to be strong for her." She told her younger cousin.
"Carissa!" They heard Polly shout from upstairs, then there was silence. Margaret and Finn shared a look. They had both been on the receiving end of one of Polly's punishments at some time growing up. They soon heard the two pairs of feet coming down the stairs, one calm and soft, the other like a thunder storm.
Little Carissa came running into the kitchen, leaping on to her mother's lap, causing Mags to let out a shriek as her little boney knees pressed into her leg. She twisted round, until she was sat on her mother's lap properly, facing her Uncle Finn (or whatever he was to her). She leaned her head against her mother shoulder.
Polly strutted in, and took one look at her daughter and sighed, "Christ, brush your hair Maggie."
—
"Amen." It was a day that was not meant to come, not this soon. It was a shock to everyone, it came and went.
Her cousin stepped forward, not sure if he was ready to say goodbye to his old friend, but he had to do it for Freddie, for Ada, for himself, "I promised my friend, Freddie Throne," Tom cleared his throat, "that I'd say a few words over his grave, if he should pass before me. I made this promise before he became me brother-in-law, when we were in France, fighting for the King"
"Amen." Arthur butted in. She saw Ada, Karl in her arms and the look in her eyes, saying she wanted to go home, get away from this grave her husband would be in forever. She saw Tom looking anywhere but the grave or anyone around him. Little Karl was unaware of how sad the occasion was but he would in time and she knew that broke Ada's heart and would have broken Freddie's too.
"And in the end, it wasn't war that took Freddie. Pestilence took him." She could hear John's little one crying in Esme's arm. John took his littlest one in his arms, shushing him and holding him close as they continued to listen to Tommy's words.
"But Freddie passed on his soul and his spirit, to a new generation, before he was cruelly taken." She saw him look at the boy in Ada's arms, seeing not only the Shelby in him but his oldest friend.
Little Carissa was stood in front of Maggie, her mother's arms hung in front of her little frame. She was looking up at her mum every so often. Margaret glanced around at her family.
After a moment of silence, out of respect, the priest finished of the service and everyone started going there separate ways. She saw Ada walk towards her.
"Thanks for coming." Ada thanked with a small, quick forced smile. Maggie nodded at her cousin, she gave her a sweet, sympathetic smile. She had barely noticed Carissa wriggle out of her arms, off to cause some trouble with her cousins. Even though they were her mum's cousin's children (which made them second cousins), the little girl didn't care, they were like siblings and they were her age.
"How've you been." She asked Ada as she let down Karl who ran to his cousins too.
She shrugged, "Not sure. It's quiet, y'know." She kept her eyes down.
She sighed, feeling sorry. The couple were perfect but just never got enough time, "We want you home Ada, so if you feel like you need some noise, there is always home, okay?"
Maggie spoke, she saw Ada scoff a bit, looking up and away. Seeing Ada was about to talk, she cut her off, "London may be where you live and have made a home, and you may want to be free from the madness — and I'm happy for you, we all are. . . but you know Tom and everyone is thinking the same and he will bring it up, no matter the place, that's why I'm warning you and telling you now, even though it might not be the time."
Ada stared at her younger niece, not sure what to say, "Are these your words?" Ada glanced to the ground, when asking.
"Yes. I am happy for you but I'm telling you this because Tom will talk to you if my mum doesn't get to you first. I know you want what you always have, to be out of your brother's grasp, to do what you want, but he wants you and Karl safe. It might not be today but soon."
"You are so Polly's daughter." Ada said, hugging her cousin. Maggie closed her eyes, enjoying the embrace, Ada doing the same. Ada had always been an older sister to her and she was Ada's doll growing up, dressing her up in all the little dresses Ada had found. She had missed her, but she knew Ada needed her own space after spending years trapped in a house full of boys.
As they opened their eyes and pulling away, Maggie caught a familiar figure walking towards the two. "He's coming over." Maggie whispered to Ada. Ada instantly knew who he was. "I'll see you soon, Addie."
"See ya, Mags." Giving her a nod. They both started walking away from each other, Maggie going to see what trouble her daughter had caused. When she turned back, she saw Tom now walking beside his sister.
"Look, look." She heard a little voice coming closer. It was little Carissa with flowers.
"Aww, there- Carissa." She soon realised the only place a child could get flowers at a graveyard, "please tell me you didn't pinch these from the graves." She scolded her daughter. The girl avoided her mother's eyes, "Carissa put them back before nan gives out." The girl turned around running to the graves, putting them back.
Maggie walked in the direction of her cousins, seeing them all standing by the cars, "Gimme." She held her hand out to John, standing in front of him.
"No 'please', no 'thank you'-" John said, smirking, teasing his cousin. The two had a lot in common, them both having kids young being the main one but they shared the same sense of humour and love for their family. She had a sibling relationship with all of her cousins, but she was probably closest with John.
"Fuck off." She took the cigarettes from him, taking out and his lighter. She lit it and took a drag before shoving the pack and lighter back into his hands. Arthur and Finn chuckling at the interaction
While they were stood by the car, a conversation that's was expected, was happening. "We thought now Freddie's gone, you might come back to Birmingham." Tom started, hearing a loud scoff coming from his sister. "She knew." She muttered to herself.
—
"Why can't I stay here?" Carissa whined, shrugging on her jacket. Margaret was in a rush to get to a meeting, being held in account to the Garrisons current state; it blown to pieces.
"Because you, little lady, were pinching flowers from the graves this morning, throwing rocks through someone car window last night, and almost knocked a poor lady off her feet less than thirty minutes ago. So, I'm keeping you close." She listed to her daughter.
"So I can sit in on the meetings?" She grinned.
"No because there are no kids aloud, ask Uncle Finn, he's just started attending meetings this year. Now come on, I'll get in trouble if we're late." She ushered Carissa out the door.
The girl held Maggie's hand as they walked down the streets, busy with action. People going about there daily routines. Cara was skipping and running and jumping, pulling on her mother, not that she was aware.
They soon appeared at the house. They didn't live to far, only around the corner from Waterly Lane in a small house, the two had made a home of. She had moved out three years ago when the boys came back from war. She had a two year old that scream into the night and she couldn't let a little baby interrupt the only sleep her cousins could get. They had all been against moving, especially her mum, but she had also needed a place for her and Carissa, her little family, even if she was seventeen.
"You go on upstairs, eh?" The girl nodded reluctantly and dragged her feet up the stairs.
The woman took off her coat and hat, placing it on the table in the kitchen, before entering the den. Seeing Arthur, sat in the chair, John, leaning against a wall near her mum, checking his pocket watch, Esme, sat on the stairs, reading, and Finn, who paced back and forth.
All heads turned as they heard her footsteps, expect Pol's. She saw John sigh at the sight of her, and Arthur go back to, whatever Arthur does, huffing, "well don't look that disappointed." Maggie spoke, sarcastically.
She took a seat beside Arthur. She leant her head back, looking up to the ceiling.
"Sit down Finn." Arthur grumbled, sick of Finn's pacing. Finn took a seat beside Maggie, who's head didn't move.
"Where the bloody hell is Tommy-?" John spoke quietly, although the sound carried through the room. "He's on his way." Polly cut him off, enunciating each word, looking out the window ahead of her. She in a bad mood, wonder who pissed her off.
"Right then, while we're waiting patiently," Arthur spoke up, standing up to get that was right behind Maggie. He lifted it up over Margaret's head, as she lay back, and clattered it on the table, "Whiskey. Left over from the explosion."
Maggie quickly leaned forward, picking a bottle and examining it, it'll do. She poured herself a glass, as Uncle Charlie poured his own and everyone the same. She looked over at her mum, seeing her emotionlessly standing by the green doors. She had been different lately, easily irritated and more private.
It might have been the fact her daughter, Maggie's sister, had just turned sixteen and her brother yet to turn eighteen. Over thirteen years since they were taken but recently it was just different.
"Right, before Tommy gets here-"
"Just wait for Tom." Margaret sighed, sipping her whiskey before leaning back again and closing her eyes, listening. She felt the glare John was giving her, but she ignored it and he carried on anyway. "There's a few things we need to get straight between us."
"You think?" She heard her mother.
"Yeah." John replied, " Yeah, I do, I want to know . . . When did we all take a vote on this expansion south?"
"You have anything to say . . . You wait for Thomas."
"Polly's fucking right." Excuse me? True, but really?
"Literally, just said that." She didn't know if she muttered to herself or she just thought it.
"I see all the books. Legal and off-track. Saw stuff you don't see."
"Mag sees the books too. Legal and off-track." Arthur grumbled. She looked at the books but she tried to stay out of the business as much as possible.
John had ignored because he carried on, "And in the past year, the Shelby Company Limited has been making 150 pounds," he spoke, saying '150 pounds' loud and clear, "a day. Right? A fucking day." He shouted, "Sometimes more. So what I wanna know . . . Is why are we changing things?"
"Improvement, to make the company better. Things have to change if you want Shelby Company Limited to be improved. You want money? You want food on the table?." Maggie spoke up, leaning forward to get her glass again.
There was a few moments of silence before John carried on again, "Polly, look what's happened already. We ain't even set foot in London yet, they've already blown up our pub."
"Who said anything about Cockneys?" Arthur grumbled.
"Who else?" She heard a voice open up. She finally came to the realisation, It wasn't just John, it was Esme too. Maggie turned to look at her cousin-in-law, or whatever she was.
"You know who did it?" Her mum asked.
"No she doesn't know who did it." John defended his wife, as they all heard faint foot steps of a certain late person.
"I'm told only family are allowed to speak."
"Everyone's allowed to speak. On your feet, Esme. Let's hear what you have to saw."
"I speak for our household." John cleared his throat, straightening up his posture, "So could-"
"John. This company is a modern enterprise and believes in equal rights for women. On your feet, Esme." Tom spoke.
—
"I'm going to cut them with their own blades, I swear to god." Maggie muttered to herself, as she heard the boys drive off to London, shouting the whole way down the lane. First she was awoken to keep an eye on the den — way before it was even open — and it didn't help she had a fucking hangover as well as two hours sleep. And second, her mum was snappier than usual and kept giving out about how she was taking care of Carissa.
She was making tea, as Carissa coloured at the table. She was chattering away about her drawings and complaining about why she couldn't go to London with the boys. As bad as it sounded, Maggie blocked out her daughter's words.
"Are you going to finish your toast?" She asked, interrupting her daughter's rambling. The girl looked to the plate and back at her drawing, "In a bit." She answered. Maggie went to speak but she stopped when she heard a bit of commotion from the den.
Slowly, she made her way to the door, leaving her daughter at the table, "Eat your toast." Maggie spoke to her daughter, ruffling her hair up. She pushed the green doors open, revealing the quiet den, apart from Esme and her mum. The Gray woman held a knife to the woman, as Esme stood flat against the wall.
The three women knew Polly wouldn't take it any further, despite the threats coming from her mouth. Both ignored Maggie as she stood there, "Let the woman down, mum."
But neither broke eye contact, "I don't need a knife to stop me telling secrets given in confidence. It is a matter of honour." Esme spoke. I'm too hungover to deal with this shit, she thought.
Polly stood back after a moment, looking to her daughter, then behind her, then back at Esme and walking out the back, "Keep the kids out of the den." Polly said as she walked away. The door slammed and Maggie looked beside her.
Carissa stood there behind her mother, she watched the scene from the doors the whole time, seeing her nan with a knife to her aunt's throat. "Get in the kitchen, Cara." Maggie sighed, gently pushing the girl in and closing the doors behind her.
Esme straightened as Maggie walked over to her , "what was that about?" Maggie said standing in front of her. The Gray girl stood taller than the woman, "and don't bullshit me, Esme."
She didn't hate Esme and Esme didn't hate Margaret, they just always seemed to disagree with each other. When they're sober that is; they are the best of friends when they have had a few drinks. When they aren't worrying about why they always butt heads. John always wanted them to get along, so he'd sometimes force liquor down his wife's and cousin's throat, just for them to get on with each other, whenever the family were out at the pub.
"You should talk to her yourself." Esme said, walking toward her desk then to her husband's office.
Margaret stood there and let out a loud sigh, bringing her hands to her head. She found herself in the kitchen, where she sat down in the chair opposite her daughter, looking to the ceiling.
While she stared into space, Carissa stared at her mother, concern covering her face, "Mum?" She spoken quietly, "Why'd nan have a knife in Esme's neck?"
She sighed again, "colour in your picture," she tapped her knuckles on the table, gesturing to her colours, without moving her gaze. Carissa hesitated before the sound of the pencils on paper could be heard through the quiet kitchen.
It was about ten minutes before Maggie sat up and made a new pot as her tea had gone cold. After, she sat back down, holding the teacup to her face, while looking at Carissa's drawings. She was only four so some of the colours ended up on the table cloth Maggie had laid out beforehand.
"What's that?" Pointing to the picture, she tried breaking the silence between them both. She struggled to figure out what was drawn on then page. She knew it was people, or at least that's what it looked like.
"It's you and me and Barry." She pointed out, smirking at her mum when she mentioned Barry. Barry was a dog that Cara had been on about for the past year and a half. Maggie refused to get a dog since she didn't have the time for a dog and she knew she'd be left to mind it. She tried to compromise with getting the young girl a cat, but Cara wanted a dog. She'd ask for one on her birthday and at Christmas.
She'd ask her uncle Tommy, knowing he has a soft spot for her, but he say she'd have to wait. Arthur was beat around the head with Margaret's shoes when he agreed to get her a dog but luckily he didn't — thank god. She even kidnapped the neighbours dog at one point.
"And who's that?" Ignoring her daughter's smug face.
"It's a tree, mum." She laughed at her mum's words.
"Oh I was only joking, I knew that." She smiled at her daughter, "Now we have to get up and out of here. Pop your shoes on and we can head to the market." The mother and daughter got up and Cara raced to the pile of shoes that lay untidily under the coat rack. Maggie downed her warm tea before tidying up the mess on the table.
"Get my coat for me Cara." She shouted, looking for the shopping list she wrote yesterday. Soon her daughter ran in, tripping over her laces. Maggie caught her right before she fell flat on her face. While the mother sighed in relief, the young girl giggled. She pulled on her coat before fixing Carissa's laces.
—
It was the fifth time she tried but no answer. She should been home by now. And finally by the sixth call, there was an answer but it was the babysitter.
"Hello?" The woman on the other line answered.
"Um, sorry, where is Ada?" Maggie said, holding the phone to her ear.
"I wish I could tell you, she is supposed to be here for Karl but hasn't shown." The woman spoke, clearly agitated. She was supposed to be home over an hour ago.
"Is Karl asleep?" She asked.
"Yep, i've got to get home and to bed. I have work in the morning and-" the woman ranted but was stopped.
"Could you ring me when she gets home. Or, actually, get her to ring me. Just tell her it's Maggie, tell her to call home." She spoke, hearing the heavy sigh on the other side.
"Alright-" Maggie hung up, not wanting to stay on the phone with her. "What a bitch." She muttered, waking away from the phone. She looked over the den. John was still in his office as well as soon other men working overtime.
Polly stormed in, "Tom's in hospital, come on." She grabbed her hat and coat, following her mother. Maggie worried for her mother as she glanced between the road and her. John and Arthur took a separate car with Finn.
"Speed up." Polly mumbled, eyes ahead.
"If I speed up, we might not make it to the hospital in one piece. Y'know I'm not the best driver." She muttered the last bit. She didn't know why she was in the driver seat. Carissa's dad gave her a few lessons before war but he was just as bad as her behind the wheel. John and Arthur let her drive most of the time, whenever Tom or Polly weren't around.
Not much was said between the two on the drive. Her mother fidgeted with her sleeve and sighed heavily every time Vivian drove over a hole in the road or her hand slipped the wheel.
They reached the hospital and Polly got out while the engine was still on. Maggie parked up, trying to stay calm. She still worried for her cousin who she hoped was home and safe.
Entering the hospital, her mum was gone. She went to the desk at the front, "where's Thomas Shelby?" She asked.
The receptionist instructed her on where to go and she walked on down the hall. She hated the hospital. To be fair she hated most places. They all reminded her of unpleasant memories. The woman tried got stay away from the place.
After she gave birth to Carissa, she grew weak and sick, and never got better. Spending weeks in the hospital, she was also kept from her newborn daughter. That was one of the worst times of her life.
When she got better, everyone was always there, watching her. Watching how she mothered her Carissa. Ever since then she tried not ask for help, she didn't want to prove them right, that she needed to be corrected and watched. It is probably why she hates her own mother correcting her recently.
She entered the room, her mother stood over her cousin. Tommy was in an awful state. It was the worst she had ever seen him. Margaret walked around the room, to the other side of his bed. "Any word from a nurse?"
"We'll know in the morning. You can head home to Carissa." Polly said. Her mother was aware of how she felt about hospitals.
"Like fuck." Margaret whispered, for no apparent reason. She walked over to the window, looking up at the sky. The stars could not be seen through the smog. She sat in a chair beside the clear glass, watching her mother watch her.
"Remember when we couldn't even afford going to the doctors now we can get a private room with fucking windows." Maggie whispered again, smiling down at her hands.
"Well a lot has changed, imagine what it'll be like in two years?" Polly responded, taking a chair that was placed behind her. She pulled it to her nephew's bed.
Maggie knew she loved each of the Shelby siblings like her own. And Maggie loved them like her siblings, "You can only guess. But I can tell you John and Esme will have another one."
"No doubt about it." Her mum said to her.
This was the most they spoke with out having a go at each other in a long time. She enjoyed spending time with her mother despite the circumstances.
"What was going on with Esme?" What she said must of ruined the moment as Polly leaned back in her chair, her gaze hardened as she spaced out.
"Doesn't matter." Polly spoke, sternly.
"You can talk to me whenever, you know that." She looked up at her mother who look at Tommy. Polly said nothing, just nodded, obviously wanting the conversation over. Maggie nodded to herself as she relaxed in her seat.
Maggie asked, "Do you know who it was?" Polly shook her head before she even finished her question.
She rose from her chair, and walking over to Tommy. Standing over him, she held his hand for a moment. When she let go, she turned to her mother, "I'm going to call Ada's. She was late so I'll ring and see if she's home."
The young woman walked out, leaving the two in silent room. She found a phone, and rang. She was connected through and the sound of heavy breathing filling her ear.
"Hello, Ada?"
"Mags? Are you okay?" Her cousin asked, her voice was wobbly.
She looked around the empty waiting room, "Yeah. I'm fine. Are you? You seem shaken up." She heard a small cry on the other line, "Ada? Answer me. Are you alright- What happened?"
Karl was heard in the back, crying loudly, "There were men, Maggie, Sabini's men." Ada got out.
—
NOTES
first chapter !!! So excited for this book x