The day has come. The day that I have been dreading for thousands of vorns. The Cybertronains that did this will never be forgiven, they have scarred my already hurt life. Putting them into a pit of tar and watching it and them burn would be too kind. If I ever set optics on them again they won't live to tell the tale. I hate them with all my spark.
Two Autobot's did this; Silverload, a hateful mech who would have joined the Decepticon haven't it been for the fact of his sister joining the Autobots. Patterned with silver and gold taking after his designation and then there was his sister; Solarflare an evil little femme with a spark of darkness, covered in blue and purple finish with vicious red optics. The two siblings might of joined the Decepticons but they couldn't as so many of my faction still have unfinished business with the pair.
Those two together killed my three symbionts. My beautiful Ravage, Rumble and Frenzy all three offlined at those Autobots servos. I hope Silverload and his sister died a terrible death. I am usually a forgiving Deception but in this case forgiveness will never be given.
Before I met Megatron my symbionts were my whole life. They stayed with me throughout all the hard times in my life. I had Ravage first, I found her as a little new spark kitten. I miss them so much.
This is the day 10,000 years ago my three symbionts offlined. My sparks aches suddenly sending pain throughout my whole frame as I soundlessly sob as I try to walk down the hallway. My servo is over the part of my visor that covers my intake as if trying to muffle the nonexistent sound of my sobbing.
I stop and lean against a wall my other servo on my chassis. Laserbeak is on a mission which I sent him on myself as I didn't want him to see me this way. I wish I could send myself away so I could morn my beloved symbionts in peace. I feel as if the world is caving in on me.
My legs start to shake and the tears start to fill my visor. I slid down the wall and sit down on the ground my stabilisers against my chassis as I bury my covered faceplate in my kneeplates trying to block the universe out. Right now I don't care if anyone sees me for the pain in my spark makes me feel like I might cripple down into dust.
I hear the tip tap of peds coming down the hallway but I just curl up hoping the passer-by will not notice me. No such luck. My shoulders shake again as I weep silently. I feel as if my spark is collapsing in on its self.
I loved Ravage, Rumble and Frenzy so much my spark burns to be without them. They were the light in my darkness and guided my way through the nightmare my life was becoming.
"Oh My Primus. Soundwave? What the frag are you doing?!" the voice of Knockout invades my silence. I almost feel thankful to hear a voice, to guide my way to reality.
I look up at Knockout as he stares down at me, "Go away, please" I play a recording. Even though I wish for this sadness to stop I must find my own way out of this never-ending pit of nothingness. Apart from my symbionts, I have always been by myself, I have to fight the war inside me myself and hope I will be able to pull myself out of my darkness.
"Um, yes, of course" Knockout stumbles and starts walking quickly down the hallway, but just as he was about to turn the corner he looks round at me, "do you want me to get anyone?" the medic asks tentatively, for once not only thinking for himself.
I felt another wave of sadness and pain. My symbionts used to be my whole life, they helped me through the darkest parts of my onlining. I shake my helm wishing the impossible, that my beloved my symbionts would come back even though I know that will never happen. Maybe when I offline I will be with them again.
Knockout rushes round the corner. I think the red bot is speaking into his com to someone. I hope it is not about me. I just want to be by myself.
Several klilcks later I hear heavy pedsteps coming down the corridor. I just shut my optics tightly and hope they will pass. Knockout must of said something. The pedsteps stop right next to me. Scrap.
"Soundwave?" a deep and raspy voice speaks to me. I am in such turmoil that I don't recognise it. I crack open my optics ever so slightly to see Megatron kneeling before me. My optics go wide in shock as another sob rips through me.
I see Megatron's optics go out of focus as he try's to assess the situation. He is probably trying to work out why I am like this. His gears click in understanding and he looks down at me. "It's about your symbionts? Isn't it?" Megatron says to me. I nod tersely.
"Thought so" he mutters. I suddenly jump up and wrap my arms around his waist and I rest my helm on his chassis. I feel Megatron tense up at the interaction, but I still feel him gently put a servo on my backstruts. I vent deeply trying to calm myself down.
"Soundwave" Megatron says, "I know you miss them but, sad things happen. They do. But you don't have to stay sad forever." I don't know how he does it. Some people just have the power to say beautiful words as if its nothing.
This is why, this is another reason why I chose to side with the Decepticons. The words he says are the answer for so many Decepticons that have long since passed away. You can just watch and listen, and right there is your answer.
But, mostly, I didn't join the Decepticons because of the words that he could just get out of the air around him, no, I sided with the Decepticons because I fell in love with their leader.
"Hey Soundwave, do you remember what I said so long ago?" Megatron asks and starts repeating a quote that he made himself long ago, "Nothing can cure the spark of sadness. It only goes away if you accept what's happened and not let your grief bury you in a never ending hole which you can never find your way out of."
"This is why I- I fell in love with you Mega- Megatronus" I whisper my voice raspy and filled with static after not being used for so many eons. I made this same confession vorns ago...
"Hey Soundwave. You seem off, something the matter?" Megatronus asked me. I had to tell him. I can't keep this a secret, people will guess and tell Megatronus, before I pluck up the courage to do so myself.
"No. I'm fine Megatronus" I squeaked, fiddling nervously with my digits. No. No way am I going to tell him. The only thing is. With keeping this a secret I always get skittish and shy around him. I know he says that he is called Megatron, but I just call him Megatronus out of habit.
"You don't seem it" Megatronus said raising an optic ridge.
"Nope. I'm perfectly fine" I uttered and started walking down the corridor even faster then I already was, leaving Megatronus just standing there.
I heard Megatronus jogging lightly to catch up with me, "You would tell me if something was up, right?" he said in such a small voice my spark pretty much fell apart and broke.
Should I tell him? What would I say? I came to a complete stand-still my thoughts buzzing around in my helm. I transformed my visor away from my faceplates and look up into the bluey-red optics of my leader.
"Okay, fine. There is something wrong" I said swallowing my fear.
Megatronus blinked, "OK then. What's the matter, Soundwave?" he asked putting his servo on my shoulder.
"I . . . . I have fallen in love with someone" I mutter, "and I don't know how to tell them."
Megatronus' optics dim slightly, "so who is the lucky femme, or mech" he added.
"He's a mech" I say looking down at the ground and shifting nervously on my peds, "he's so brave and looks absolutely gorgeous, I just love him so much. And I don't know how to tell him" I say hesitating slightly
"Well, I hope he is worth it because you are a very special, brilliant mech, Soundwave" Megatronus told me, making my spark light up with joy, "tell him who is this mechs designation?" he questioned.
"I- I . . ." I stumbled as Megatronus looked at me expectantly, "he is you" I say, I bring up my servo to cup the side of his helm and with that I press my derma to his.
Nothing can change the past and the way I still feel.