"How Can Someone Make Me So Sad But Still I Only Want Them To Stay
I Wanna Say I Love You So Bad, But I Dont Wanna Scare You Away
Please I Wish That You'll Understand
That I Wanna Be More Than Just Your Friend
I Wish You Loved Me."
Tynisha Keli "I Wish You Loved Me"
Nicole
"Cheers to the CEO of Remedy. Not only are you in Ulta Beauty and Target, you are about to take over the shelves in Sephora!"
"Cheers!" We rose our glasses in the air and clinked them together. The DJ started playing the music again and everybody turned up.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see my assistant.
"You have a call." She said, showing me the screen on my phone. I saw the name and immediately smiled.
"Okay. I'll be right back." I made my way outside where it was quieter.
"Hello?"
"Am I speaking with the CEO of Remedy who is taking over the beauty industry?"
"Yes, you are. How are you?"
"I'm good. I hope you're enjoying your party tonight."
"I am, but I wish you were here. You did play a part in this success. You stayed up with me when I was designing my proposals. You're one of my skincare ambassadors and you also let me test out our eyeshadow palettes on you."
"Aye, I thought we weren't going to talk about that again."
"My bad." I giggled.
"Well, I have a surprise for you."
"What is it?"
"Turn to your left." My head rotated to the left and I saw him walking towards me in a suit while holding a bouquet of black roses.
Damn, he looks good, and he knows it too with the way he's walking and the smirk on his face.
"You are so sneaky."
"You like your surprise?"
"Yes, I love it. Thank you."
"Congratulations again baby girl. You deserve it after working so hard to make this dream become a reality."
"Thank you."
"I want you to know that I love you and you can always count on me."
"I know I can. I love you too. You've been my rock since the first day we've met and you've never let me turn. I really appreciate having you as my best friend."
"What if I wanted to be more than a friend to you?"
"What?" I looked at him, taken aback.
"I love you Nicole. I want to be the man who will love and cherish you like the queen you are for the rest of your life."
"Are you serious Dewayne?"
"Yes, I want you to be mine, all mine. So what do you say?"
"I—."
*************************************************
"Nic! Nic!" I pulled the covers tighter over my head to block out the noise. I was hoping the voice would just go away, so I could go back to my dream. I guess today is not my lucky day because the person to whom the voice belonged to bust into my room and he snatched the covers off of me.
"Nicole, I know your *ss heard me."
"Leave me alone, Dewayne." I groaned. I reached down for the blanket, but he completely removed them from the bed causing me to roll my eyes. I reached over the nightstand to grab my phone and checked the time: 7:53.
"Did you forget that you promised to take me to the airport?"
"Your flight is at 1:25 and it's not even eight yet."
"You gotta make me breakfast."
"You do know that you drove past several drive thrus before you got here and they sell food at the airport, right?"
"Why do I need to spend that money when I got you?"
"Well, I don't work for free. Pay up and I'll make the breakfast right now."
"You so f*cking greedy." He grumbled before placing two fifties into the palm of my hand.
"Let me make sure it's real."
"Stop playing with me and get up."
"Rude, but thank you sir." I placed the bills into my pillow case. I sat up from the bed and stood up, going into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put my hair into a messy bun. I need to get a fresh set of tape ins as soon as possible. "Now, what if I was naked when you came in?"
"You trying to hide something?"
"Yes. Only my man is allowed to see my goodies."
"The one you ain't got?" He smirked.
"F*ck you Dwayne." I left the room and made my way downstairs to the kitchen.
Despite the dream I had, Dewayne is not my man in any shape or form. He is only my best friend, but I've had a crush on him since we were 8. He has a girlfriend who is actually a nice person. Her name is Kennedy. I respect their relationship. I guess I've been too chicken to tell him how I really feel about him.
I spent the night at my Mom's place because she invited me over for a dinner. She and her longtime boyfriend had an announcement to make, which was that they were getting married. Charles has been around for as long as I can remember. I don't know why, but I've never liked him like that. But since he's been around for this long and they're about to take their relationship to the next level, he must be doing something right. I wish them the best.
"Nic, I was just joking."
"Whatever."
"I didn't mean it that way. You've seen me naked before."
"That was an accident because you kept your room door wide open after taking a shower when you had guests in your house. You nearly blinded me from that sight."
"I know you've never seen one that big."
"You know what Dewayne? Just stop talking."
"You know you love me."
"Keep believing that." I saw my Mom sitting on the couch, sipping on a mug. "Good morning Mom."
"Good morning baby."
"Why did you open the door for this bum?"
"What happened this time?"
"I was having a good dream before I was rudely awakened."
"You knew I was coming over here."
"Not this early."
"Y'all argue as much as when y'all were kids."
"He starts it, but I finish it."
"Yeah right."
"Do you want some breakfast Mom?"
"No, I'm okay sweetie. Thank you."
"I would like an omelette with ham, cheese, and spinach, with waffles and bacon. Beef, not pork or turkey. What else? Oh, and hash browns. I almost forgot." I swear he thinks he's a king or something. I glared at him before getting started. I'm not a breakfast person, so I didn't make a lot. I definitely took like half of the bacon.
"Y'all better come up here and get you one these." I said, putting down the plate in front of him. I went in the fridge to grab the syrup and butter. He looked at me with a look as if he wanted to say, "Really b*tch?"
"Get somebody else to do it."
"It's a chicken salad. 81st deli. Superior."
"Get away from me with this Apollo."
"And you say you don't be on TikTok." I roared with laughter as he dug into his food.
"I don't. I just see that sh*t when people post it on Instagram as reels. Plus, Kennedy always on there when she comes over."
"I know. She told me that you won't do any with her."
"I'm not down for that corny sh*t."
"Maybe you should loosen up and give it a chance. I don't make them often, but it's fun."
"I get a good laugh when I see your Tiktoks because your *ss know you can't dance."
"You're just a hater. Let me go take a shower and get dressed. I need you out of my hair ASAP."
"Good. Go and get rid of that musty smell."
"Kiss my *ss Dewayne." I flicked him off before heading upstairs.
Dewayne transferred to my school in fourth grade. Our teacher had the desks set up in groups of four and there were groups. One of the groups had only two people, which were me and Samaria. That's where Mrs. Cohen placed him.
Samaria was literally my only friend. She was really pretty with her golden brown skin, long twists, and thick black glasses. After elementary school, I never saw her again. She didn't attend the middle school in the neighborhood, so I thought she moved. I always wanted to see her again, but googling her full name never yielded any results. I wonder if she would even remember me.
The girls were all over Dewayne like flies. I'm not going to lie, I thought he was cute the first time we laid eyes on each other. Over the years, I fell in love with him as we went through middle school, high school, and college together but he's never seen me as more than a friend.
You know how when someone gets popular, they usually switch up and act like they never knew you. Not Dewayne. He brought me along to every clique he was a part of and I respect him for that. It definitely helped me get out of my shell.
I don't know what it is, but I seem to only get along with men. I swear 90% of my friends are guys. I just think I've come across too many women who are with the drama.
I threw on a hoodie and sweatpants, putting on only some chapstick. I'm not going anywhere serious. I sprayed some perfume before heading downstairs. Dewayne was drying his hands in front of the trash can.
"You ready?"
"Yeah." I grabbed my wallet from my tote bag. I might stop at Starbucks on my way back. I got my money and keys. Where is my phone?
"I think I forgot my phone upstairs. You can get in the car." I handed him the keys.
"You're not going to help me with my bags?" N*gga, you only have one suitcase and a carry on bag.
"Boy please." I jogged up to my room and looked around. I couldn't find it on my nightstand. I moved the pillows on my bed and ran my hands across the sheets. The only place it could be is the bathroom. I went in there and saw it by the sink. Of course.
I looked at the time: 10:29.
"I'll be back Mom." I called out to her as I walked past her room.
"Nicole."
"Yes Mom?" I turned around to see her head poked out of the doorway as I reached the top of the stairs.
"When are you going to tell that man the truth?"
"Who?"
"Dewayne."
"What truth?"
"You and I both know you're in love with him."
"What are you talking about?"
"Baby girl, I've known that you liked that boy since y'all were young. I can see the love in your eyes whenever he's around. You should just tell him how you feel. You never know. He could feel the same way."
"Mom, there is nothing in my eyes except for my contacts. Dewayne and I are only friends and that's the way it's going to remain. He's in a good relationship and I'm happy for him."
"I know what I'm saying. A mother knows."
"Mom, I got to go. I'll be back!" I waved at her before jogging down the steps.
"Drive safe."
"I will."
"You found it?" Dewayne asked as I sat in the drivers seat.
"Yeah."
"Good. I almost thought you lost it in another country the way you were taking so long."
"I can take myself back inside."
"You know you won't do that. You love me too much."
"Whatever." I started the car and backed out of the driveway. "How long are you going to be gone again?"
"Four days. I'm coming back Tuesday morning."
"Oh okay. That's not that bad." He's traveling to Mississippi for Kennedy's grandmother's funeral.
"Are you going to miss me?"
"Not really."
"Stop lying."
"Maybe a little bit."
"You know we can't go more than a day without seeing each other."
"That's true."
"You're the one that's more clingy though."
"That's a damn lie. Don't you remember when I took a solo trip to Toronto for a week and you decided to pop up on me halfway through?"
"I needed a little vacation too."
"Yeah right."
"I mean, I was doing you a favor. If you had met Drake, you probably would have become babymomma number two."
"Thank you for coming to my rescue."
"Anytime." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "So, I set up something for you while I'm gone."
"What are you up to?"
"I told one of my homeboys at the label about you."
"Not again. You can't seem to take a hint."
"Nic, listen—."
"Dewayne, I have told you time and time again that I don't need help finding a man. I appreciate your concern, but I'm good."
"I know, but I want to help you just a little bit. You've got everything going for you in your life. You deserve to find love."
"Well, you can call off whatever plans you have because I have my eyes on someone."
"You serious or are you pulling my legs?"
"I'm serious."
"Do I know him...or her?"
"No, you don't know her."
"Yo! I can't believe you switched sides and didn't tell me."
"I didn't. I'm just messing with you. It's a dude."
"Man, you play too much. I almost thought you were f*cking with a Young M.A. looking b*tch."
"She is fine as h*ll."
"I don't think I know you anymore."
"Boy, stop the dramatics."
"Are y'all officially dating or exploring other options while talking to each other?"
"We're not there yet. The thing is I like him, but he doesn't know that."
"Nic, I know damn well you're not on some secret admirer bullsh*t."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Why don't you just tell that man you like him?"
"I'm honestly scared to know what his response will be."
"He probably likes your scary *ss, but if he doesn't then it's his loss. There are so many n*ggas out here ready to scoop you up. You are a really special woman with a heart of gold, beauty, and brains."
"Thank you bestie. You're so sweet."
"You still ugly."
"You just had to ruin it. Get out of my car."
"I hate to say it, but I'm going to miss you."
"I'm already missing you. Be safe out there and don't get arrested because I'm not going to bail you out."
"I'll be good. You don't have to worry about me." I closed the trunk and pulled out the two fifties he gave me earlier from the back of my phone case.
"Here's your money. You can take it back. I was just joking."
"Nah, keep it."
"Dewayne, I don't need your money."
"Use it to pump gas for dropping me off and picking me up in a few days."
"Who said I was going to pick you up?"
"Take care of yourself." He winked at me and kissed my cheek before stepping onto the sidewalk.
"Yeah yeah." We waved at each other as he walked inside. I got back into my car and drove off.
I couldn't help but think about Dewayne on my way to Starbucks. His smile, personality, and caring nature are what I love the most about him.
I constantly have dreams about him. I support his relationship, but deep down in my heart I wish he l would come and say that he feels the same way.
I am really out of my mind. That man probably only sees as a sister.
Why is my heart doing this to me? Out of all of the n*ggas in the world, it had to be him that I could see myself with. This is bullsh*t.
I think the only way to get him out of my system is to distance myself a little bit and go on a couple of dates. My soulmate is probably out there waiting for me.
I got in line at the drive thru and pulled down my sun visor. I wiped my eyes. I swear I'm a crybaby. I get emotional about anything. You should have seen me at the end of the Wakanda Forever movie. I was in inconsolable for a whole hour after my friends and I left. I don't know what it is, but that's how I am.
B*tch, get yourself together.
Within ten minutes, I got my favorite mango dragon fruit lemonade and made my way home.
My phone started ringing in its dashboard mount. It was a FaceTime call from Dewayne. I ignored it. He's going to be able to tell that I was crying and ask me a million questions. It rang again and I decided to pick up. He'll keep calling if I don't.
"You good?"
"Yeah I'm fine. Did you forget something?"
"Nah. Your nose is red. You been crying?"
"No, just allergies."
"Lie to me again and I'll miss this flight. Who made you upset?"
"Dewayne, I'm good. I just took your advice and he said he's not interested because I'm not his type."
"F*ck him! When we get back, we are going to find you a baller."
"Okay." I grinned.
"Stop all that crying. You too pretty for that sh*t."
"I thought I was ugly."
"Girl, get off my line. I'll text you when I board."
"Safe travels."
"I love your crazy *ss."
"I love you too bestie." I pulled into the driveway, seeing my Mom coming out of the house in her scrubs. She's a nurse practitioner.
"I was just about to text you."
"What happened?"
"Nothing serious. I'm running late and I just need you to put the new towels in the bathrooms in the basement. Two people are coming in tonight."
I completely paid off this house for my Mom two years ago. I offered to buy a new one, but she refused. We d done renovations over the years to keep it looking modern. Last year, my Mom decided to fix up the basement to make it an Airbnb. It cost nearly a total of $40,000. It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms with a washer/dryer combo, living room, kitchen, and dining area. It's literally another house.
We are constantly booked. We get good reviews, it's really beautiful, and it's close to the airport and mall.
"Okay. I got you."
"Thank you. I'll call you later."
"Alright. Bye Mom." As she pulled out, I walked towards the mailbox. I opened it to find a couple of flyers and envelopes. I carried everything inside and placed them on the kitchen counter. I scanned through the envelopes and found mostly credit card offers. I then opened the Costco coupon book. After flipping through the electronic section, I discovered a letter addressed to me.
"United States Penitentiary Atlanta?" I don't know anyone in prison. Maybe they're looking for pen pals. I'm not trying to fall in love with someone behind bars.
I tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter.
To my baby girl Nicole,
I wonder if you've ever gotten any of my letters because I've never received a reply from you or seen you. Maybe you've moved or you're angry that I haven't been there for you as your father. I'm sorry because this is not how I thought life would turn out. I'm not giving up hope. It looks like God has decided to finally smile upon me so I can right my wrongs. They've reopened my case and are planning to release me on parole very soon. If you're willing, I would love to see you again after 22 years. I'm sure you've grown into a successful and beautiful woman since I last saw you when you were two. I know our birthday is coming up in less than three months. I hope it's not too much to ask for you to come so we can talk. If not, happy birthday to my sweet angel. I'm sorry that I've missed so much of your life, but I pray I'll get the chance to make it up to you. I love you.
Sincerely,
Omari Fletcher
What the f*ck? This has to be some kind of sick joke? Mom said he was dead. This guy does have the same last name as me, but I don't recall ever hearing the name Omari. Come to think of it, my Mom never wanted to tell me anything about him.
I asked her where he was buried and she said that he was cremated. I wanted to know what he looked like, but she said she lost pictures of him. It was like she was erasing that part of my life. I remember asking my grandmother before she died about him, but she told me that I would find out more when I was older. I never understood what she meant by that. This might be what she was driving at.
Wait. Before I jump to any conclusions, I need to find some proof that this guy is legit.
I need to find out the truth.
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