GUSTAVE
"Mr. Salguero! Good morning, I have the things that you asked me to buy. It's in your office." Vilma stood up and gave me a slight bow.
"Thanks, Vilma."
Humakbang ako papasok sa opisina ko at nadatnan ko ang iilang paper bag sa coffee table. Nilapitan ko ang mga iyon at isa isang sinilip. Inutusan ko si Vilma na bumili ng mga painting materials para kay Ansel. The boy has talent.
I still remember how happy he was when he showed me his artwork a few weeks ago. I've been spending some more time together with the boy. I used to keep my distance because that's the way my father took care of me. He was the provider of the family and my mom, she was supposed to care for us. And I thought I ought to do the same but I'm starting to realize that I was wrong.
Ansel talked, and I meant he didn't stutter when he thanked me. It was two words but I was so happy. Considering what his mom and I went through before he was born. I thought my boy was lacking, that he didn't have what it takes to run the company when the time comes but it turned out that I was the one lacking. We had him checked out on a Monday, the first time in a long time that I took a half day from work. The doctor said that positive reinforcements are good for him. I thought that therapy was enough to make him better but it wasn't.
There was nothing wrong with him. He is just a boy. Kung mayroong may pagkukulang ay ako 'yon. Hindi ko dapat inisip na may kulang sa anak ko dahil iyon mismo ang ginawa sakin ng ama ko. I couldn't help but think what I would feel if my dad treated me the way I treated Ansel. It was awful. He was awful and I'm not. Not anymore, at least. Being a provider doesn't mean that I can't be a father to my son. And if he doesn't get better, I will accept it. Because he is my son. And I'm sure Sandrine and I will make a lot more children in the future. I just have to talk to her about it.
Sandrine and I have been working on our marriage the past weeks. We would spend some time together either at work or at home. We would do things together, talk to each other and just be there for each other. There's not a single night that we didn't have sex and boy did I have the best time.
Medyo maluwag na ang schedule ko dahil nabili na namin ang Ecowind. Nagka pirmahan na kami ng mga papeles noong huling Biyernes. Of course, I fulfilled my promise that Sandrine will handle it. I filled her in on the plan that I want to dig up the land. She has her doubts but she came through. She knows it's smart, not practical or eco friendly but smart. I blew ten billion pesos for the land itself, now I need to spend a few more billions for the process but after that? The sweet, sweet success.
There is only one thing that I'm not so sure about. Holden Smith, the guy that she wants to partner with. I can never understand why she picked him out of all the contractors out there. But I saw his rap sheet, the guy was good. All I can read about him is positive. I also didn't want to object to my wife's choice. I told her she will lead the project so I have to let her pick whoever she wants to work with.
Just as I was removing my coat, my doors opened. Sandrine came through the door with her a pink corporate attire, pink coat, pink pencil skirt and a white top that shows her cleavage a little bit. I can't help but stare, specially when she's wearing her pearls, complimenting her asset.
"Staring is rude, Mister." Kunyari ay naiinis na aniya.
"Yes, but if the person I'm staring at likes it. Is it still rude?" I said, cocking my brows up. Waiting for her feisty comeback.
Pinaikot niya ang mga mata niya at lumapit. That alone sent shivers down to my spine. She has the ability to make me feel things. Sexual things. And I know she knows it.
"Listen, I have something to tell you." She said as she took my coat away and hanged it to the coat hanger beside my table.
Nag-kibit balikat ako at tumalikod para umupo sa aking swivel chair. Para bang nabasa niya ang isipan ko nang sumunod siya sa akin at umupo sa kandungan ko. Damn, feeling her ass on my dick can almost make me come. It instantly became hard like it knows that the woman sitting on me is the boss.
"Really, Gustave? Sa office? Can you and your dick behave for once?" Pang-aasar niya sa akin.
"Hey, it's not my fault! Ikaw 'tong kunakandong sa'kin bigla." Pasimple kong sagot.
She smacked her lips and faced me. Looked all over my face like she was memorizing every part of it. Her fingers started playing on the side of my head.
"I know you have doubts with Holden Smith being our partner... So I arranged a meeting with him. You can interview him all you want but I already signed a partnership contract with him so this is just formality." She said, avoiding my eyes.
I couldn't explain what it felt when she mentioned his name but she didn't look affected by him anyway. Based on the way she talks about him, I know what she feels for the guys is platonic. I shouldn't let Santhiago's words poison my mind.
"Are you sure about him, Sandrine? I mean, it's still your call and I trust you." I said.
She smiled and gave me a peck on the lips. Gusto kong mag-reklamo dahil hindi damping halik ang gusto ko.
Trust. The keyword.
"I am. And I would really appreciate it if you would take the time to get to know him. He's good at what he does." Aniya.
Hindi ako kaagad sumagot. Ilang sandaling katahimikan pa ang bumalot sa amin bago ako sumuko.
"Okay. If the wife says yes, then I agree. When is this dinner that you planned?" I asked.
"On Friday. Pick me up at home?" Malambing niyang sabi na ikinatawa ko.
"I'll see you then." I winked.
"Thank you. Now I have to get back to my office. I still have a lot of documents to read and sign." Tamad na sabi niya kasabay ng buntong hininga.
I groaned when she stood up from my lap hut before she could walk away from me, I took my chance to pull her back. Nawalan siya ng balanse at nabagsak muli sa akin. Binigyan ko siya ng isang pilyong ngiti at hinapit ang kanyang batok palapit.
I kissed her on the lips, taking my time to put my tongue inside her mouth and I smiled when I felt her tongue on mine. My hands started traveling through her body and she was already moaning occasionally. When I got tired of her lips, I moved down on her delicious neck. Nag-lakbay ang dila ko pababa sa panga niya at nang hindi na ako makababa ay nainis ako sa suot niyang coat. Hinubad ko iyon, sapat lang para lumabas ang balikat niya. Itinuloy ko ang mga basang halik hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa braso ko.
"N-not here..." Hinihingal na aniya.
Napa sandal ako sa swivel chair at malakas na bumuntong hininga. Sinugurado kong narinig niya kung gaano ako ka-frustrated.
"I'll see you at home?" Huling lingon sa akin ni Sandrine.
"Nope. Sabay tayong uuwi. Now go, before I change my mind." Taboy ko sa kanya na ikainatawa niya. She looked at me once more, bidding her goodbye and then she walked out of my office.
My day went on as usual but I really felt so bored doing paperworks all day. Sabik na sabik na akong mag alas kwatro para makauwi na ako, kasabay si Sandrine. Dahil nga hindi na ako gaanong abala sa trabaho ay palagi na kaming sabay umuwi.
We would typically just have small talks about business in the car and I just want to watch her as she complains about some misogynistic investor that she had to go to a meeting with. I want to watch her when she gets excited about our plans with Ansel. And maybe that's why I can't wait to go home with her.
"You!" Marahas akong tumayo mula sa upuan.
Mabigat ang mga yabag ko nang mahagip ko ang leeg niya at idiniin siya sa pader. I am infuriated but he was just laughing. Which made me even more mad. Just because he is older than me doesn't give him the right to do whatever he wants with me.
"E-easy!" Umubo siya at nawala ang ngisi nang makita ang ekspresyon ko. Hindi ko niluwagan ang pagkakasakal ng braso ko sa leeg niya.
"What did you fucking do to me? Did you drug me? Motherfucker!" Tiim bagang kong sambit.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about!" Umubo siya ulit. Sa bawat salitang binibitawan niya ay pahigpit ng pahigpit ang kapit ko sa kanya.
Gusto kong basagin ang mukha niya nang kahit papaano ay makaganti ako sa kagaguhan niya. Nang hindi ako magpatinag ay itinaas niya ang dalawang kamay niya habang umuubo.
"Okay... Okay! I'm sorry! Let go of me and we'll talk." I can hear how hard he was trying to talk. I had to physically stop myself from killing him.
I violently moved away from him. I am desperate to let some my anger out so I kicked the large vintage vase on the side of my door. It fell down and broke into pieces.
"Jesus! You almost made me pass out!" Bulalas niya.
"And it still wasn't enough! What the fuck did you do to me?" Lumayo ako at puma-meywang. Pilit na kinakalma ang sarili.
"I didn't do anything, Gustave! It was just cheap alcohol!"
"Then why the hell don't I remember anything from that night?" Nanghihina kong sabi.
I'm trying to remember what happened so hard, even just a glimpse of it but I can't. I remember being at the night club and then it was as if I blacked out. Nothing. The next thing I remembered was waking up to that fucking hotel room with no recollection of what happened.
Kahit gaano ko piliting alisin sa isip ko ang nangyari, ay hindi ko magawa. My guilt is eating me alive and it's killing me. For the first time in my marriage, Sandrine and I are doing good. And I don't want anything to fuck that up. I can't live with the thought that I would be the one who ruins the one good thing that we have. I don't want to hurt her.
"Wait... You don't think she drugged you, do you?" He stared at me in disbelief.
Napaupo ako sa sofa at pinadaan sa buhok ko ang mga daliri ko. That bitch.
"Hindi ko alam. But I swear if she did, I'll make her pay." I said as I fidgeted with my fingers.
Mariin akong napapikit nang dumaan sa isip ko ang mga ngiti ni Sandrine. Ang mga oras na mag-kasama kami. Mga panahong inaalagan niya ako at ang anak namin. I can't screw us up again.
"You looked scared. You are never scared. Why?" Maang na tanong niya.
"Because right now, I actually have something to lose." Maiksing sagot ko.
Isipin ko palang kung gaano siya masasaktan ay tila hindi ko na kaya. Hindi ko kayang makita siyang umiyak ulit ng dahil sa akin. Binigyan ko siya ng pag-asa para saming dalawa pero ako din ang sisira ng pag-asang 'yon. Pakiramdam ko mababaliw na ako. Kaya kailangan kong malaman.
"Wag kang mag alala, paiimbistigahan ko ito. Pero hindi iyon ang ipinunta ko dito. I heard you already bought Ecowind. I'm here to congratulate you." He said.
I didn't answer him. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate. Not when this is hanging around the corner or the Guadarramas planning their moves. All it takes is one wrong move and everything will fall apart. Hindi pwedeng mangyari 'yon.
I watched him walked over to my small private bar and took a bottle of an expensive scotch and two glasses. He placed it on the coffee table in front of me and sat. He poured some liquor on the glasses and offered me one. I took it because I felt like I needed a drink to think.
"I'll be honest, Gustave. I didn't think you had it in you. I thought having a family would make you soft." He said.
Alam ko ang ibig sabihin niya. He thought I couldn't play dirty anymore, that I couldn't possibly do what I had done but he was wrong. That motherfucker saw it coming. He was wrong to test me and I just proved it. Ecowind is mine and he and his brother are behind bars as of the moment.
"Hindi ko nakalimutan ang responsibilidad ko sa kumpanya, Enrique. I am and will always be the best CEO this company ever had." I took the glass and drank the scotch in one gulp.
Better than my father and his high expectations. He was dead for what? Two decades? But I still feel like I'm living in his shadow. I still don't regret the decisions that I've made in my life, specially when it affects Salguero Tropics. Even when I hurt Sandrine. But that's all in the past now, and I just have to learn to live with it.
"Hello, husband." The left door of our Rolls Royce opened and Sandrine sat in the back seat with me.
Walang bakas ng pagod sa mukha niya at masuyong nakangiti sa akin. Nang makita ko ang mukha niya, nawala lahat ng pagod at iniisip ko.
"Cariño." Matipid akong ngumiti.
Umandar ang sasakyan kasunod ng dalawa pang itim na Mercedes Benz, mga bodyguard ang laman noon. Ngayong may banta ng ganti ni Santhiago sa akin ay hindi ako mapalagay. Kailangan kong maging handa sa atake niya.
"Is something wrong?" She asked.
"Nothing. Pagod lang ako. How's your day?" Pilit kong pag-iiba ng usapan.
"Oh, you know. Same old drama. I need to sign some requirements for the permit of Ecowind. Which reminds me, what should we name our new project?" She asked.
"I actually hadn't thought about that yet." Sagot ko.
Tumango siya at nag-kwento naman tungkol sa kaibigan niya. Someone is inviting her for a short trip to Singapore. Sandrine doesn't like going overseas. Kung kailangan naman niyang umalis para sa negosyo ay isinasama niya si Ansel. They really have a bond.
Nag-panggap akong nakikinig sa kinikwento niya pero sa totoo lang ay mas pinili kong mag-focus sa kanya. She is the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. Bawat ekspresyon niya ay nakakabighani. Gusto kong halikan ang bawat parte ng mukha niya. She has foreign features which made me think that one of her parents might not be a Filipino.
Alam kong inampon siya ng isang bakla noong walong taong gulang palang siya. Naging ulila ulit siya sa edad na labing anim nang pumanaw ang umampon sa kanya. Alam ko ito dahil pina-imbestigahan ko siya bago kami ikasal.
I didn't know why she was orphaned, but I found her biological mom. She didn't once mentioned her to me. Let alone her family. Which makes me think that I never really knew her. What did she go through to be the woman that she is now? But I wanted her. That includes all her baggages from her past.
Hindi ko man aminin ay hindi ko pa din lubusang tanggap na pangalawang asawa na niya ako. I would never understand how she loved a man almost twice as her age but I could see that she loved him. That day, our anniversary. I know where she is. That was Uncle Arnie's birthday. I knew she was in his grave but I didn't chase her because I felt like I was nothing to her. She told me that I will never be good enough for her. Nasaktan ako don, aminin ko man o hindi.
"Good evening, Señorito. Señorita." Bati sa amin ng isang kasambahay nang makarating kami sa bahay. Kinuha niya ang mga bag at coat namin.
"Si Ansel?" Tanong ko.
Nasa sasakyan kasi ang mga pasalubong ko para sa kanya. Gusto kong ako mismo ang mag-bigay ng mga 'yon sa kanya.
"Nako, Señorito. Eh, tulog na po. Napagod sa kakalaro kanina at birthday ng kaklase niya." Ani ng kasambahay.
Tumango ako at nilingon si Sandrine na nakatingin na sa akin. Nakangiti siya at halata ang tuwa sa mukha.
"Alright. I'll give him my gifts tomorrow." I dismissed the maid and walked with Sandrine upstairs.
"Gift?" Ani Sandrine.
"Yeah, I bought him some painting materials. The boy is good, you know." Sagot ko.
Nag-paalam si Sandrine na magsha shower at hindi naman ako nag-paiwan. No, we didn't have sex. We just showered together. Nauna akong lumabas ng banyo dahil maglalagay pa daw siya ng kung ano sa mukha niya. I took the time to get some wine downstairs and ask for a charcuterie board from the chef. I wasn't feeling hungry and if she's hungry, she can just call for some food. Kinuha ko ang bote ng isang red wine kasama ang dalawang wineglass. Kasunod ko ang isang kasambahay na dala ang charcuterie board. Nilagay niya iyon sa aming balkonahe.
Tamang tama lang ang labas ni Sandrine mula sa walk in closet. She saw me sitting on one of the chairs while she's drying her hair. She is wearing a red silk robe and I can only imagine what she is wearing inside.
"Drink with me?" I offered.
She quietly sat in the chair in front of me as I poured the liquid on both our glasses.
"You're quiet. What's on your mind?" She asked after she took a sip.
"I just realized that I barely know anything about you..." I finally said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Tell me, Sandrine. Tell me something about your past... I want to know you."