It was the usual Friday all students would experience — boring, yet anticipated. The excitement of Saturday coming, knowing they all would have free time, filled their hearts with at least the smallest possible happiness. Even if they did something trivial or time-consuming, the weekends were more than enough of a blessing from the mental labor that school would give them.
As for one guy whose name was Hajime Kumoyama, he was just waiting for that sweet moment when the bell would ring. It's not like he didn't pay attention to class, but at this point, the teacher was just elaborating on her lesson, so Hajime could zone out for the remainder of the time.
It was only 1 minute left, but the students felt like it took forever for the clock to just signal the bell that it was finally time to go home. The teacher could practically hear their murmurs and whispers going, "Come on, come on!"
Then, once the clock landed at 4:00, a ringing noise filled the hallways as the teacher stopped writing on the whiteboard and placed down the marker on the pen tray as she dismissed the whole class. Everybody packed their bags, put their books in their desks, and went out of the classroom like a stampede was occuring. Hajime didn't wanna get involved, so he stayed back until he could safely go out without being pushed accidentally by any of the students.
It finally marked the weekend. Everybody could relax and rest, and not have to worry about school for a while.
Hajime considered himself an ambivert, but he wasn't that much of a party animal. Where others would invite friends to play games like League of Legends or Valorant, or go somewhere and have fun like window shopping or Karaoke, Hajime enjoyed being alone most of the time. Exercising, reading, watching shows or videos on Youtube, these were some activities he would do — all which he could enjoy without the need for company.
His way to the train station involved a street where it was near a river, and so he could enjoy not only the warmth of the sun in all of its glory, but also to hear nothing but the water streaming along and his footsteps. There wasn't that much traffic at that part fortunately, so he could freely dive deep into his thoughts without worrying about distractions from the outside.
Man, if only every day was like this... Hajime mused as he gave a little chuckle.
After he had arrived at the train station, he looked down at his phone and turned it on to check the time.
...I can still make it...
What Hajime was referring to was a person very dear to him. If he had to put it into words, it was his dad — the one who had been taking care of him ever since the day he was born into this world. He wasn't living with him anymore though, but he made sure to visit his place monthly.
Once the train had arrived and he had secured his seat, he was just listening to music through his earphones. Though, he was able to overhear a young girl talking to her parents. Hajime honestly felt a bit shocked upon hearing it.
"Dad, you think mom will like the present?"
"Of course, honey."
It wasn't anything special to them, but to Hajime, it was something he yearned to have back. It had been a while since Hajime had ever experienced a conversation like that with his dad. Not like he didn't have a conversation ever in his visits, but to have a nice moment where they could talk like that normally was something he strived for. While Hajime was living alone in an apartment, his father would be living alone somewhere else, staring out the window of his room as his carer would check on him from time to time. As for Hajime's mother...let's just say he also visits her, but in a different way.
As he was deep in his semi-melancholic train of thought, he felt his phone vibrating. This prompted him to check it out. It was a live stream from a famous streamer.
"Oh, it's Irys...Wait, SHE'S LIVE NOW?!" Hajime blurted out.
Normally, this would surprise anybody, so everyone on the train looking at him was justifiable, but the fact that you're not supposed to talk loudly or shout in a train especially in Japan made it slightly more embarrassing for Hajime.
"A-Ah. I apologize, everybody." Hajime bowed a bit as everybody slowly went back to their business.
He tapped the notification, and turned the phone sideways as he started watching the live stream.
Hololive. It was Hajime's favorite streaming and idol agency. Composed of members called "Virtual Youtubers", or simply "Vtubers", their job as streamers are not to only play games — as much as it was the norm — but they're also known to sing, dance, and talk with the audience; all while using an anime character. Though, in Hajime's opinion, as much of an "idol agency" it was, he considered them more like "entertainers and comedians" despite their idol characteristics.
It got his attention as he was scrolling through Youtube once and got recommended a clip of one of the talents trolling with another fellow talent. One clip led to another, and another, and another, until he finally knew every one of the current members of Hololive.
He was engrossed in Irys' stream. Too engrossed, in fact, that he had just realized the train announced his stop, which made him panic and quickly bolted out of the train just in the nick of time before the doors would close.
"Damn! Man, that was close!" Hajime said after taking a deep breath. "I really should take some time off my phone for once." He said with a chuckle.
After that embarrassing moment of inattentiveness, he proceeded to make his way towards his apartment. His homecity was Okayama, so it was pretty crowded in the streets. That's why when Hajime finally reached his apartment, he felt relief as he could finally get away from all the noise and enjoy the peace and quiet he had in his home.
"I'm home!" Hajime greeted, but nobody responded. Well, as a college student living alone, there was never anybody to begin with, but he always greeted as a habit of being Japanese.
Entering his lovely room, he put his bag near a cabinet and took off his uniform and put it in the laundry as he went to his tiny kitchen to grab a glass of water. All that walking and especially that time on the train definitely made him thirsty.
However, as he drank, Hajime felt a presence looming over him from within his room. Slightly spitting out some water out of surprise, he looked to his back and everywhere just to find nothing. He knew he was alone, and he locked the door, but he could've sworn he felt something watching him.
Though, he brushed it off and thought maybe the dehydration made his mind a bit woozy. He had to make dinner anyway and take a shower to refresh himself.
After taking a shower and dressing in a new change of clothes, he took out some ingredients from his fridge. A carrot, a bit of meat he stocked, and potatoes; he craved pork potato and carrot stew. The thought earlier about being watched was completely out of his mind by then, but the sensation came back.
It wasn't a presence watching over him, but rather, Hajime watching over himself, although the vision was slightly blurry. It was like he was able to look through the eyes of the presence itself. Yes, eyes. It didn't feel like he was imagining looking through something like a camera, but rather, it felt like he looked through the eyes of something.
"W-Woah! What the..." Hajime shook his head and blinked multiple times. It worked in getting rid of the thought, at least. However, he knew that it was a strange experience. Whatever it was, it was strange to see himself watching himself, especially when it felt ethereal, like it came from another world.
After cooking his dinner and filling his belly, he dressed in more presentable clothes that suited for visits, and he got inside a taxi. He told the driver to go to the place where his dad was at.
During the ride, he thought back to earlier. It bothered him in a way where it felt so surreal, yet existent. It was one thing to feel the presence nearby, but it was another thing to see from its "eyes". Trying to wrap his head around the matter was mentally taxing.
Argh, screw it. It is what it is. Hajime blankly stared out the window.
Hajime had finally arrived at his father's place. On the outside, it was a very clean place, a huge one to boot, and was very welcoming, both to the eyes and to the people who would visit. However, whatever was inside contrasted the outward appearance of it. It was a retirement home, sure, but it was reserved for those who weren't mentally normal. Yes, it was a psychiatric hospital.
Hajime's father wasn't the worst, but he wasn't the best either. He didn't need to be restrained, and his room wasn't padded and looked similar to that of a normal hospital's, but it didn't mean he could be left alone. He was just one of the "normal" ones.
"Hey, good evening." Hajime greeted the receptionist. Her and Hajime have gotten familiar with each other due to his regular monthly visits, so she knew how the routine would go.
"Ah, good evening, Hajime! You're a little late, I was wondering when you'd show up."
"Sorry. Uh...something happened. It wasn't anything serious though." Hajime giggled nervously and sweat dropped.
After being allowed in, he made his way to the fourth floor using the elevator. As he waited, Hajime could've sworn he heard a huge bang to his right. He almost thought a patient just broke the laws of nature and went straight diving towards his direction. Goddamn, I hope I won't get jumped or something.
He had finally arrived, and made his way towards his father's room. He had to be honest, his father's current state intimidated him in a way where he was scared, not because of what his father is capable of as of now, but more like his unpredictability. Hajime definitely knew he was tamer than whoever made that loud bang earlier, but his father had his own twist to things.
As Hajime was about to knock on the door, he saw the doctor's silhouette open it through the glass panel of the door.
"Ah, Hajime-san. Good evening." The doctor said with a smile.
"Good evening, doc. Say...how's he been doing?" Hajime asked, but he thought he didn't even have to bother. It's not like he was pessimistic or anything, but as far as he had asked the same question over and over again, he was always hit with the same answer.
"Well, nothing has changed, I'm afraid. He still relapses from time to time. It's improving, don't get me wrong, but he still has his 'moments', you see. Don't worry, we'll find a way to get him back to before."
Whatever steeled gaze he had, it always ended up with him looking down and giving a forced smile. He was hoping that, on one of these days where he'd visit his father, the doctor would say something more uplifting or positive.
"A nurse will come in later to check up on him. I shall take my leave now. Take all the time you need." The doctor said before walking away.
"Thank you, doc." Hajime said as he opened the door.
"Dad? Dad, it's me. Hajime."
His father looked up to see his son. He gave a small smile; it was the usual smile his father gave him throughout the years. It did make the weights on Hajime's shoulder slightly lighter upon seeing it. Though, he knew that smile was full of grief and despair.
"Ah, Hajime...How've you been? Have you been taking care of yourself lately?"
"Yup. School's been a bitch, but you get how it is. I've been taking care of myself good though." Hajime said, taking a seat on the chair near the bed.
He took a quick glance at everything. Nothing changed, so far. It was as if everything was left untouched. Hajime just thought it was a nice detail.
"That's good to hear." Hajime's dad gave a bigger smile.
"...Oh? Your water bottle is empty. I wonder how the doctor never noticed it...Okay, I'll be refilling your water for a bit, dad!" Hajime said, standing up and going near the water dispenser and refilling the bottle.
Man, I know he's asking questions about my well-being, but does my dad even take care of himself? Hajime mused.
In the middle of refilling, he heard a squeak at the bed. That was strange, but Hajime knew that his father was sitting down earlier, so Hajime turned around to see him standing up. What raised his concern more was that his father's eyes looked more alert. Hajime swallowed a lump in his throat and slowly closed the bottle.
"Um...dad? Are you okay?" Hajime asked as he put the bottle down at the table.
"...Unforgivable." His father mumbled.
"What?" Hajime asked as he couldn't hear it the first time.
"UNFORGIVABLE!"
His father proceeded to grab him by the neck and raise Hajime slightly, keeping him on his toes. Hajime struggled to breathe for a moment, but he had to think quick. He didn't want to hurt his father, but he had no choice as he had to free himself in some way while also suppressing him.
He thought back to that water bottle, and he tried to reach out for it as hard as he could. With his hands barely gripping the bottle, he finally got a solid hold of it and swung it to his father's head, dazing him and releasing Hajime as he gasped for air.
R-Relapsing so soon?! Goddamn! That has never happened before! Not to mention, this is the worst relapse he's ever had!
Hajime now was near the door, but he also had to keep his eyes on his father as Hajime had now recovered but his father was now looking like he was out for blood.
"You...you killed her! YOU KILLED HANABI!" Hajime's dad shouted, pouring all his anger into it like he had a personal vendetta.
"K-Killed her?! Dad, that's not-"
Hajime quickly stepped aside as his father charged to grab hold of him, only to dive headfirst into the door and then towards the floor of the hallway. Hajime saw this as a perfect opportunity to suppress him.
With his father growling as he tried to stand back up, Hajime went on top of him and held his arms. He would try to do more controlling, but he thought it was just enough to suppress him currently, even when his father held the strength of two sumo wrestlers. Besides, he needed to be able to move quickly as he was waiting for the guards or anybody to restrain him.
"Somebody, help!" Hajime shouted at the top of his lungs, hoping somebody would be able to catch what he said.
"H-Hajime-san!" A nurse to his left came over quickly.
"G-Great! You're finally here! Can you please help my dad-"
"GET OFF ME, YOU!" Hajime's father shouted as he tossed Hajime's arms away and pushed him, leading to Hajime stumbling backwards and hitting his back against the door of the room, making Hajime grunt.
As his father stood up, he ran up to Hajime, so he tried to kick him in the stomach. It did make his father grunt, but he just grabbed his leg like it was nothing, threw it to the side, and grabbed Hajime by the neck and raised him up like a feather.
Hajime had to admit, his father was a very strong man despite putting on weight ever since he had been admitted. The adrenaline must've caused it, but because of the adrenaline, Hajime had difficulty figuring out how to suppress his father while dealing the least pain towards him.
His father was blinded by rage, so he didn't care what he did to Hajime, except to cause the most pain to him. He dragged his son towards the window unknowingly and started slamming him against it. Cracks started to appear, and the nurse knew things would get worse if she didn't stop him then and there.
"S-Sir Kumoyama! Please calm down!"
"GET THE FUCK AWAY!" Hajime's father slapped the nurse with the back of his hand, making her fall to the floor with a big red mark on her face.
This led to Hajime getting a moment to breathe as he was finally let go, but he knew he was absolutely cornered and couldn't escape. His father went back to him as quickly as Hajime gasped for air, and grabbed him by the neck once more. With one final finishing slam towards the window, it shattered completely, and he pushed his son out.
Falling. It was a strange sensation, to say the least, for Hajime. It felt like everything was in slow motion, and it seemed that Hajime would just fall down like a feather, so when he would land on the ground, he would be fine, and everything that transpired just now was just a happy little accident.
Though, seeing his father scream his name in pure horror, and seeing the moon and the clouds in the sky, his sense of time came back, and reality started to settle in. During this time, Hajime didn't even feel anger, nor fear. He just felt regret.
Heh...so this is my time, huh?
Hajime had, for the first time, experienced what it was like to have his life flash before his eyes. Everything he had experienced until now, and the memories he shared with his family, both happy and sad, played like a movie; all in one second. It was a sad truth Hajime had to accept. He was younger than his father, yet he was given a chance to live longer than Hajime. All he could do now was just close his eyes, smile, and let gravity do the work.
Nearing his inevitable death, he had one last thought in his mind; one full of regret and melancholy.
I'm sorry, mom...I couldn't take care of dad in the end, after all.