chapter thirty-six!
036. the swan prince
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THERE WAS NO way she would be able to see him. Even as she hovered around near the entrance of his chambers, Odette could not enter. She could not sneak inside, nor could she ask▬he was dying; Arthur was dying, and the young handmaiden was unable to do anything about it. The King refused to leave his side that night, there were guards stationed outside of his door, Morgana only went in by herself and not even Ronyn could pull the right strings to let Odette see the Prince.
She kept glancing around the corner in the hallway, waiting for Ronyn to return. She fiddled with her fingers and paced, trying to calm her racing heart▬none of which worked. Odette chewed at her bottom lip, crouching down to sit▬hidden in the shadows of the table and tapestry. It was so late, and the events were so troubling, that she had a feeling no one cared about where she was.
Odette pulled her mother's clip from her hair and set it on her knees▬her dirty skirts that were worn-out from all the days she spent knelt on stone floors. She pursed her lips, forcing her tears back as she traced her fingers along the simple design. Arthur had made a promise that he would come back▬Odette supposed she should have made him promise to the world that he would come back alive and well.
Footsteps made her glance upwards. Immediately, Odette was on her feet as soon as she saw it was Ronyn. "H▬How is he?" she asked, her voice small.
His eyes were red around the rim▬he was trying very hard not to shed a tear himself. Ronyn shook his head, full of despair. Odette's knees quivered and she slowly sat back down, not sure whether she'd be able to keep herself standing for much longer.
"He cannot die," muttered the handmaiden. Ronyn sighed. He decided to sit down beside her. She hitched a sobbing breath. "He▬he cannot..."
"He is still breathing," offered Ronyn▬though he did not sound convinced. He sounded distant, dull and dry ... drifting off without even a thought of making it home. "Perhaps there is still hope."
Odette merely hung her head, pulling her legs closer and wrapping her arms tight around them. "He is supposed to one day be King."
"Perhaps he will be, still."
She met his gaze, upset▬Odette saw right through him. Ronyn sighed and gave it up, leaning his head back against the stone wall. The young handmaiden shook her head and admitting to Ronyn in a whisper: "He promised me. He promised me he would make it back and ..." she wiped away her tears quickly. "I cannot watch him die, Ronyn..."
He closed his eyes, pained. His voice was heavy and hoarse: "I know," he murmured. His voice dropped to a cracked whisper, too: "I know..."
The next morning, Arthur only grew worse. His fever had heightened, and his wound had started to grow infected▬his breathing was concerning, Gaius told Odette who demanded for information ... his body was starting to slowly shut down, painfully and in dreadful ways. News had begun to spread through the kingdom, and some of the people had begun to gather at the citadel gates, passing over gifts and sending messages with tears to the King. Some offered prayers and hope, determined to believe the Prince would live. Odette hoped that they were right.
She had ventured out when she heard that Merlin was leaving. She hugged her cloak over her shoulders, wandering up to where she could see him fixing the straps of his travel bags to his horse's saddle. When he saw her grow close, he stepped aside and managed to muster a small smile. It didn't reach his eyes.
"All right?" he asked her gently.
Odette nodded▬in a way that they both knew that her answer was the complete opposite. She stopped right at his side, lifting a hand to brush the mare's side. "You're leaving?" she frowned.
He nodded. Merlin pursed his lips, and there was some hesitation in his eyes▬as if there was more he wanted to say but decided on: "I have found a way to cure Arthur."
Her eyes widened. Her heart lifted in her chest and she breathed, "A▬A cure▬?" with such disbelieving and yet such strong faith that she didn't know which she felt more.
Merlin nodded once again. He turned to her and grasped her shoulders, "I will save him, I promise."
"What is this cure?" she asked, her heart getting lighter and lighter. Some colour returned to her cheeks▬Odette's hope had been restored in great numbers. "Where is it?" Her mind was starting to race. "Oh▬should I come? Can I come▬?"
"No," he said so suddenly she cut herself off, startled. Merlin quickly continued: "N▬no, uh▬" she frowned, confused at his abrupt change of tone. "It▬it is too dangerous. Besides. I▬" he mustered that smile once again, "▬I need you here with Gaius to keep Arthur alive until I return. But ..." the smile fell and he watched Odette for a moment. Then, he sighed softly; his gaze turned gentle. "But thank you, Odette, truly. For▬not just for now, but for everything. You ... you have become a dear friend to me. I am grateful."
Odette's frown deepened. She didn't know what to say▬perhaps she was too taken-aback to say anything ... to wonder why he felt the need to say such sweet things▬as if he might never get the chance to say them again. But before she could even manage to speak a word, Merlin pulled her into a tight hug. She blinked, but clung on, lifting her chin to rest up on his shoulder as he hid his face into her own.
Concern growing, the young handmaiden muttered to the young sorcerer, "Are ... are you all right? What is it? What is going on?"
Still holding on tight, he replied, "Nothing▬just ... just I am glad to have you around, is all."
Odette didn't believe him. "Merlin," she began pointedly as she pulled away. "What is it you are not telling me?"
"Nothing," he said to her again, trying to reassure her▬she watched him, growing more worried by the second. She shook her head but he just lifted his brows and calmed her fretful nature down with a little chuckle. "Odette, everything is okay▬or, everything will be okay. Just stay at Arthur's side, all right? I promise I will bring back this cure, and he will live. Everything will work out."
She held onto his sleeve before he wound mount the horse's saddle. "Just▬" he glanced back, brows lifted gently. "Just be careful, yes?"
That look that made her worried returned for a brief moment. Merlin then hid it with a smile and a promise, "I will. See you soon."
Odette pursed her lips, but she let go. She was glad that as she glanced over her shoulder, she saw Gaius walking over to join them▬it would give her a few moments longer with Merlin before he was sure to head off on his journey. The Prince was on borrowed time, and if there truly was a cure for the Questing Beasts' bite, Odette just prayed that it would not cost the life of her dearest friend, either.
"Merlin," Gaius spoke as he came into step beside the young handmaiden. She quickly offered a polite smile in greeting, but it wavered soon after. "Before you go... Here," the physician passed over an old scroll of parchment tied loosely with some fraying twine. Merlin took it with ginger finger tips. "You will need a map."
Odette frowned at the warlock, "You ... you did not think you would need a map to wherever it is you are going?"
Merlin went to retort. He soon pursed his lips, sheepish, "Erm ... well, no, I suppose not."
She tilted her head, finding enough breath to be exasperated as Merlin fumbled the map into his saddlebag with a mumbled: "thank you," to Gaius.
"And I came to give you this."
Gaius held out something else in his palm. An object quite small, wrapped inside a worn, leather pocket. Merlin eyed it, curious, for a moment before taking it from the physician's grip. He loosened the twine and out in his palm, fell a rabbit's foot.
Gaius smiled stiffly, "My mother gave it to me."
"My grandmother?" whispered Merlin, suddenly holding the rabbit foot with much more meaning than before.
The physician nodded. Merlin glanced down at it, he turned it around in his fingers. "It is a rabbit's foot."
Merlin's lips quirked upwards into a gentle smile. He brushed one finger along the old fur. "To keep you safe," he muttered.
"It was said to protect you from evil spirits," said Gaius. Soon, he scoffed and shook his head. "It is rubbish. I do not believe in superstition." Chuckling, he reached out to grab it. "I do not know why I gave it to you▬"
"No." Merlin held it to his chest, protective. Gaius faltered. His eyes glinted in the morning sunlight▬like dew on a dawn leaf, blowing in the gentle breeze that whispered words of winter just over the hilltops and yet couldn't let go of that warm, bronze glow quite yet; couldn't let Merlin go, quite yet. "I want it. Thank you."
The young warlock hefted out a long, heavy breath. Then, with a grunt, he pulled himself up onto the saddle of his horse. Shifting his weight, he gave them each a final glance▬he locked eyes with Odette, and amongst the breath of sadness he seemed to carry, there was determination. He nodded to her; and he made his promise. He was going to bring back a cure for Arthur.
"You have got to keep Arthur alive until I get back," he told them. Then he clicked his tongue and urged his steed onwards down the pathway out of Camelot.
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ALL THEY could do was keep an eye on the Prince. As his fever and breathing worsened as the hours passed on, the only thing they could do was to try and keep his brow cool and fix his pillows. All they could do was hope and pray that he would stay alive until Merlin returned▬that Arthur would not stop fighting. Odette cursed his stubbornness, sometimes. Now, she begged for it to be his saviour. Her duties for Morgana were very few, here and there▬the King's Ward needed someone to comfort her as she sat, glum at her desk in the wake of Arthur's upcoming death. The entire kingdom already mourned him. They sobbed in the streets and whispered prayers under their breaths. The air was solemn, their stares sombre and their words monotone.
Arthur was not just Odette's hope▬he was the people's hope. He was the reason they got up every morning and faced the day with pride, knowing that one day, they were going to serve a boy who would grow into a great King. They, his subjects, saw the promise▬the future in his gaze; a boy who was blessed by the dawn: blessed by the ongoing present and future. Without him, the skies were grey, the sunlight was blocked behind the clouds and the heavens weeped onto damp-trodden pathways that were hauntingly quiet as peasants grieved in their homes.
If he died, there would be no future▬at least, not one they could be sure of. Not one they wanted.
Merlin did not return that night. Odette was not surprised, but she was worried. His quest was sure to be a long one▬perhaps nearing the brink of what was left of Arthur's time. But she stayed at the window one second longer, just to double check his figure did not show itself in the courtyard below.
It was getting late▬very late. Odette had prepared Morgana for bed and blown out her candles, and yet, she could not sleep. Her mind would not let her▬neither would her fretful heart. It led her astray from bed▬took her to places she always knew she should not venture, but did so anyway, without fail.
The King was in his chambers, Odette heard. Even as a grieving father, Uther was still their ruler▬he had no time to be at his son's bedside every moment of the day, even if he wished he could. Odette knew that despite all of his wrongdoings, the only place he wanted to be was with Arthur.
Last Odette knew, Gaius was with the Prince. She hoped her guess was true as she tentatively shuffled outside Arthur's chambers. For a while, she paced and hovered▬she counted to herself and took a few breaths, trying to give herself the courage she needed. At last, she took a breath▬held it▬and carefully pushed the entrance open to peer inside.
Her breath hitched and she stayed there, frozen as she brushed her gaze across the dimly lit candles and towards Arthur's bed through the archway; a four-poster, luxurious bed rested against the wall. Its curtains had been tied up and she could see him▬her heart twisted painfully. He looked worse. He looked worse than death. The covers had been pulled away, giving him as much room to breathe as possible. The window was open, hoping that some of the cool air would settle his temperature, but it had done nothing.
Gaius was fast asleep in the chair beside him. The physician rested his head against his palm, in a position that was sure to make him ache and stiff in the morning. Odette's brows knitted together. She took a sharp breath through her nose to keep her tears at bay and stepped inside. Quiet, she made her way over to the Court Physician and gently shook him awake.
"Gaius?" she murmured. He stirred.
Soon, he woke up. Odette clasped her hands together and stood back. Gaius let out a yawn▬he winced at the stiffness in his neck. "Odette," he replied.
"You should get some rest," she said to him, offering a hand to help him out of the chair.
Though exhausted, the physician shook his head. "No," he nodded to Arthur who lied, still on his bed. "He cannot be left alone."
"Do not worry," reassured the handmaiden. She chewed at the inside of her cheek before deciding: "I will nurse him."
Gaius considered her offer for a moment. Then, he sighed and took her aid to stand up. "I will inform the guards and the King that I have allowed you to help." He squeezed her arm, almost with a warmth of understanding. "Just in case."
Odette managed a tight smile. She watched Gaius leave. He closed the door behind him and soon, she was left alone.
Her gaze slowly made its way back to Arthur. It fixed on him▬it stayed. She watched the slight rise of his chest▬so small that if she blinked, she was sure she would miss it. An ache squeezed her throat. It hurt to swallow it. She could hear the rasp of his breath, soft and unsettling; but desperate▬grasping onto the ledge of life by just a few fingers.
She forced herself to step closer. Fingers trembling, she reached out and hovered them over the cloth on his forehead. Its touch was warm. She took it away and felt his skin▬his fever had not let up at all.
Odette dipped the cloth back into the bucket of water Gaius had set beside his chair and returned it to the Prince's forehead. She tucked her skirts in and shuffled onto the bed beside Arthur; the soft mattress dipped under their weight▬it was so big that she could bend her knees; rest them comfortably at her side.
Sitting so close, she knew she should feel on edge. She understood it was wrong▬but she still sat close; so close her skirts brushed against the side of his bare chest. Odette was silent, her heart heavy as she tended to his fever. But she knew it was not giving him any relief. She listened to his breathing, scared that if she didn't, it would go away.
Odette wondered whether he was dreaming▬she wondered what he was dreaming about. She wondered what seemed to lift the constant frown set on his brow and loosened the clench of his jaw. She hoped he was happy in his dreams▬calm, at peace. She hoped they gave him no reason to be angry.
He looked so gentle, asleep. Even with his fever and his short breaths, the Prince did not look so burdened with life as he did each day she knew him. He did not look tired, he did not look frustrated▬he did not look as if he carried Atlas's weight on his shoulders. Instead, he looked much like he used to, when they were kids▬as if life was gifting him a final moment of youth long gone before he would lose it all forever.
Almost like he was a gentle swan, drifting out to the sunrise, alone on a forgotten lake.
It suddenly made his beauty unnerving.
The young handmaiden pressed the wet cloth, tender, against her Prince's wounds▬and just like that, her gaze welled up with tears.
She pulled the cloth away, voice cracking with a whispering call: "Arthur?"
Odette knew he would not respond ... that did not stop her from hoping he might.
Her brows knitted and she looked down at her hands that clutched the damp cloth so tight water started to leave a wet patch on her tunic. She forced herself to let it go with a deep breath. Without realising, she had shuffled even closer, tucking her knees in tight▬finding comfort in his touch, even if he did not know▬or may never know.
"I do not know if you can hear me," then muttered the Lady Morgana's second handmaiden, "but ... but maybe you can. If so, I want you to know that you will be all right." She nodded, reassuring herself, too. "Merlin is out searching for a cure, right now. He will find it and he will bring it back▬and you will live. You ... you must live..."
She paused, her eyes lifting to his that were closed▬she waited. Of course, he did not speak. He did not wake. He did not stir.
Odette took his limp hand in hers and she gaze it a tight squeeze. She did not let go. "You cannot die▬you will not die. I know it. I know it..." her voice broke to a pained whisper. She wiped her tears with her other hand. "You are meant for greater things than this ... I am sure▬more sure of anything else in my life. I look at you, Arthur, and I see ... I see hope. I see a better world. I see a kingdom that ... that is just and fair. I see ..." she held onto his hand tighter, "... I see a reason to stand at that window for each sunrise▬because I know a future that you lead will one day follow it. That ... that gives me hope. You give me hope."
She sniffled, quickly leaning over to fix the bandages on his chest. "One day, Arthur, you will be King. A greater King than your father could ever be. So great, that they will write epics about you▬Kings and Queens will name their children in your honour ... hoping that they will grow in your footsteps, but they never will. One day, you will be the greatest King this land will ever know, and never will forget. You will be a symbol of hope, peace, of love and of justice▬a King whose name the people will rejoice in the streets, proud to call him their sovereign. That is who you are, Arthur. Who you already are. I see it. I know it."
Odette let go of his hand to lean closer and carefully cup his cheek. Her thumb brushed along his skin▬clammy and hot. "Arthur," she called for him within his dreams. "Please, you must live. If not for Camelot, then ..." she hesitated, but she did not stop: "... then live for me ... Please, come back to me."
The young handmaiden hovered, gazing down at him. She hesitated▬she pursed her lips and wondered whether she should do it ... but then all of those thoughts left her mind and she inched down▬close, breathtakingly close ... until she placed her lips in a tender kiss onto his brow.
"You promised you would come back," she whispered against his skin. "Please, Arthur, I need you to come back."
Odette pulled away, and she almost missed it▬the slight hitch of his breath, the clench of his brow and the tilt of his head ... Arthur stirred▬he murmured something on his lips before he rested once again, head turned towards her touch. And perhaps it had been incoherent, perhaps she had imagined it▬or perhaps she had heard it true: a name. Her name.
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THE ISLE OF THE BLESSED was hidden in a sea of fog and low-hanging clouds. An island located past the White Mountains and onwards towards the Great Seas of Meridor. A place of utter secrecy, shrouded and protected▬still trapped back in a time where the Old Religion reigned above all else. Merlin could feel it▬deep within his bones. He felt it even yards and yards away. Not even at its shores, it had reached out to him. Taunting; alluring▬grasping at his heart and tugging it towards its deep waters; a power so old that it gave him chills, and yet at the same time, felt as if he had made▬at last▬his way home.
As the rest of the world cursed magic and burned the Old Religion at its roots, they failed to destroy the very centre of its power. And even isolated, it had grown strong in its absence in the minds of men; powerful▬perhaps even deadly powerful. No one could truly destroy magic▬not only was it this island, but it was in the roots of the woodland trees, fuelled within the birdsong and the nectar of which the wildlife sipped.
His mare grew uneasy as they descended into the fog down a winding forest slope. The early morning dawn shone bright into Merlin's eyes▬at yet the sun did not bring any warmth. It was cold▬icy cold; so much that his breath turned to the very mist around him.
The slope extended out until it came to the lake shore. Merlin couldn't see two feet in front of him through the fog▬the island itself was albeit a mystery to his eyes. He pulled his horse to a stop and frowned, intrigued by the single, old wooden boat rested at the docks▬a thin stretch of rotting planks. The vessel's flag no longer flew in the wind, but sat, limp and shredded. There was no oar to row▬no way to travel across the water with it. Yet, Merlin had a feeling that here, nothing worked by a mortal man's hand.
Merlin dismounted and tethered his mare to the nearby tree. Grabbing his travel bag, he slung it over his shoulders and forged onwards to the boat. The docks creaked, dangerously, underfoot▬but they did not break.
He sat down in the small boat. Its bell rang a haunting song across the gloomy waters.
With a breathless whisper, the vessel drifted forwards at his command. Merlin kept himself rigidly still as the boat passed through the low hanging clouds and into the ocean of mist. Odette once told him that in the old Greek myths, there was a goddess of magic▬a sly, ever-changing, manipulating goddess that could change the way a mortal eye could view the world; could twist his mind with the whispers of crossroads. Merlin felt as if he had just trespassed into Hecate's Mist▬and her magic churned deep within his chest, making him wonder what he will see beyond her blanket of lies.
And as her curtains finally drew away, Merlin lost his breath. He had emerged into an abandoned world▬an island of ancient ruins. The Isle of the Blessed may have once been beautiful: a place where magic of the High Priests and Priestesses thrived, but now, it was nothing more than an island of ghosts; a graveyard. With towers broken and crumbling, overgrown with moss and algae. The foundations of a long forgotten castle circled▬he could imagine the sight of a magnificent, stunning tower: a fortress with looming turrets and grand staircases. A place where those with magic practiced their spectacles of the Old Religion in peace within the protection of their courtyard▬a centred spiral of pure, ancient magic.
There was little left of it, now. Slowly, as his boat continued to travel to its shores, Merlin▬himself▬felt like an ancient ghost. Almost as if by just breathing in its air, he had stepped away from the world of the living, and was crossing the river in the Underworld to the land of the dead. He wondered how he was going to find a cure to revive life on an island full of ghosts.
He followed the waters that descended within the island fortress towers. He gazed upwards, trying to hear any sound▬but there was not a single one: no bird song, no insect, not even the whisper of the wind. It was so silent▬dead silent.
Merlin willed the boat to stop at an old tower entrance▬probably for a servant or a soldier, he did not know. But he took it anyway, slipping inside the magical graveyard with steps that seemed to even be muffled of any sound. He followed the open stairwells, climbing the ruins with his heart pounding painfully in his chest.
He came here with one ending in mind: his life for Arthur's▬and Merlin would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. But it was his destiny to keep the Prince safe for him to become King, and somehow, Merlin has ended up here: willing to sacrifice his life for some arrogant fool ... but that arrogant fool was also a young man with a great fate▬with a heart of gold, heroic courage and an ambition for peace and equality; real, true potential that the boy Merlin had been when he first arrived at Camelot could not see. Now, Merlin saw nothing else. Now, Merlin truly believed in the man Arthur Pendragon as destined to become.
And he was very much willing to give up his life for that future. For Arthur. His friend.
He found his way to the centre of the ruins where he stepped out into a round, grassy courtyard. His brows furrowed to see a lonesome stone table surrounded by round pillars▬the only thing here that wasn't ruined and crumbling. He glanced around. He felt a chill on the back of his neck▬something that told him he was not alone.
"Hello?" he called out into the silence.
A voice answered▬it echoed around him, as if it spoke from the air. "Hello, Merlin," it said.
He spun back around. Merlin's breath hitched in surprise, and then his jaw clenched. His eyes narrowed as he gazed at the woman who had suddenly appeared where before, there had been no one. She was beautiful▬breathtakingly beautiful. Stunning in the way that her skin was snow, her lips were roses, her eyes a daring, startling azure▬a sorceress with hair darker than night in a dress that had been fabricated with the scarlet colour of blood. She was beautiful, she was stunning▬but just like the ruins around her, she was haunted; a porcelain ghost of the great power she used to be. Perhaps the very last of her kind.
Merlin recognised her with bitter, furious anger. He tasted ruthless thoughts on his tongue. He clenched his jaw as the woman who had posed as a simple, innocent serving girl in King Bayard's cohort▬Kara. But her true name▬the witch that had poisoned him, poisoned Camelot and tried to kill the King and his son: Nimueh.
"You," seethed the young warlock in sudden horror.
Her deep-red lips quirked upwards into coy smirk, "Do you know who I am?" she asked him, understanding very well that he did.
"Nimueh," he spoke her name, livid with hateful wounds. She chuckled at his tone, amused instead of intimidated.
Merlin shook his head, not wanting to believe it▬refusing to believe that this was where his quest led him. That he would have to beg help from her. "No," he decided. "You cannot be who the Dragon meant."
Her brows lifted. Nimueh seemed hurt by his words▬though he knew it was all a lie. "Oh," she tsked, disappointed, "and why is that?"
"You▬" Merlin swallowed harshly. "You tried to kill me."
"Before I understood your importance," said the High Priestess.
"And Arthur?"
"Arthur was never destined to die at my hand." The way she said it sent a blood-chilling breath down the back of Merlin's neck▬almost as if she spoke a prophet she already knew; and she laughed at it, toyed with it. She knew the future Merlin was desperately trying to learn ... she knew how it ended. The young warlock remembered the Great Dragon's warning of a boy ... he shivered. She smiled, seeing his reaction. "And now it seems I will be his salvation."
Merlin clenched and unclenched his hands. He watched her at a wary distance. "So, you know what I have come to ask...?"
"Yes."
"Will you do it?"
Nimueh turned towards the stone table at the centre of the overgrown courtyard. She ran a finger, almost tender, along it. "I do not have the power to mirror life itself and yet give nothing in return."
Merlin clenched his hands once more. He hoped it would steady his racing heart▬hide his fear. "I know that a price will be asked."
"To save a life, there must be a death. The balance of the world must be restored."
The Prince's manservant forced the lump of fear he held down his throat. He took a deep breath and held up his chin to declare courageously: "I willingly give my life for Arthur's."
Nimueh's gaze shot to him. It sparked with mirthful delight. "How brave you are, Merlin!" she mused. "If only it were that simple."
His bravery faltered, "What do you mean?"
She did not answer. Instead, she told him: "Once you enter into this bargain, it cannot be undone."
"Whatever I have to do, I will do." Her brows shot up at his words. "His life is worth a hundred of mine."
Nimueh watched him for a moment. He didn't like it▬it scared him, almost. She reminded him of the Great Dragon: all-knowing, but never all-telling. The High Priestess turned ack to her stone table and reached out a hand. From thin air, a gleaming, golden goblet appeared in her grip. She showed it to him: he stared at his reflection in its polished surface, trying to read the runes etched on its rim. But he did not need to read their words to feel its magic. "The Cup of Life," said Nimueh. "Blessed by centuries of powerful sorcery so that it contains the very secret of life itself. If Arthur drinks water from the cup, he will live."
Merlin pursed his lips. There was something about that glint in her eye that almost made him hesitate. But with one thought of Arthur, lying there, dying on his lavish pillows back in Camelot, Merlin surged forward. He held his hand out for the Cup of Life, and the bargain was struck.
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WORD GOT to Odette that Merlin had returned (with the cure) with the midday sun. She did not get away from her duties for Morgana until the evening, and she ran as fast as she could to the Court Physician's chambers. Odette burst through the doors, stumbling. Her heart pounding out of her chest, her breath hitched and her anticipation hanging on a very loose thread▬she skidded to a stop to see Merlin glance up from where he sat, tense at the table edge. He locked her gaze, she pursed her lips. Without any words, she asked him her question, and he understood it enough to answer.
He nodded. "He has it."
Odette slumped with so much relief her knees almost buckled. She took a deep breath, suddenly flooded with tears. She rushed forward and she hugged Merlin tight. He wrapped his arms around her, just as tight, without fail▬he buried his head into her shoulder, breathing in his dearest friend close. Slowly, she lowered to sit down beside him, not letting go once.
Merlin's arms held much more weight than he was going to tell her. She sighed and let herself relax, swallowing the lump in her throat. "He will be okay," she whispered.
The young warlock nodded, "We▬we hope. He ... he will be okay. We just..."
"We just have to wait."
"Yes."
Odette gently pulled away. She frowned slightly at the look Merlin had on his face, as if he thought he was gazing at her for the last time. The young handmaiden shifted in her seat so she could face him properly. "You are not telling me something. You did not tell me it when you left, and you will not tell me it now. What is it?"
Merlin slumped. He hung his head▬he would not meet her gaze. Odette reached out and took his hand. "Merlin," she said in a sterner tone. She squeezed his hand, not sure whether she was deeply concerned, or hurt. It wasn't the first time he has kept things from her▬in such ways that made her frantic. "We are friends. I am here for you▬even if I do not have magic ... you should not have to face these things alone."
Her friend pursed his lips. All of the sudden, he looked as if he might cry. Merlin took a deep breath and lifted his gaze back to hers. "Odette," he murmured, "you do not have magic, yes. Which means I must protect you from the problems my magic causes. So, trust me, okay? Trust me▬everything will work out."
She tugged his hand, not happy with his answer. "And who will protect you if I do not?"
Merlin frowned. A small smile▬almost incredulous▬made its way up to lift his cheeks. He breathed a confused chuckle. "I▬I am fine," he promised her. "You do not need to protect me."
Odette shook her head and said, honestly: "Everyone needs someone to protect them. Everyone needs a guardian angel. If you protect me and protect Arthur, then at least I must protect you. Maybe we shall all protect each other."
"Well," the sorcerer sighed and leaned his head down onto Odette's shoulder. She shuffled closer so he'd be comfortable, lying her's against the top of it. His black hair tickled her forehead. "I suppose if you are protecting me, then I will be okay."
"So, does that mean you will tell me what is going on?"
"Then I would not be protecting you."
Nonetheless, Odette smiled. "All right. Fine. We are even."
She did not see the way Merlin's smile fell. Nor did she truly understand why he clung onto her so tight as if he did not ever want to let go ... because it was true. This was the last time he might ever see Odette again, and he wanted to remember every single moment of it. When he first arrived in Camelot, other than Gaius, Merlin thought that he would never get to know anyone. He was alone, and he was scared with his magic▬he thought he would be just as alone as he was in Ealdor. And then, he bumped into this young handmaiden▬who chuckled and took his breath away. Who showed him to the physician's chambers and left a mark on his heart that will never be taken from him.
Merlin pursed his lips, and then decided to say the one thing he knew he would never want to leave this world without admitting: "You know ... I think ... If I ever had a sister, Odette ... she would be like you."
Odette moved her head. She turned to him, and she choked up. Warmth swelled within her chest and she nodded. The young handmaiden nudged her friend, sweet: "You are my family," she told him in a soft voice. "And by that, I mean ..." she shrugged, trying to not make it seem like a big deal, but it was ... it really was. "You have not ... You have not left me. You ... you and Gaius."
Merlin swallowed back his own tears she did not notice. He nodded, as well. Then, he promised her: "I will never leave you, Odette. No matter what▬no matter where I am, or where you are, I will always be with you▬somehow. Okay?"
She nodded again. Tearful, she pushed them back▬she believed him. "Yes," Odette managed a small smile. "Okay."
Together, they sat there in sombre▬but comfortable▬company as the sun continued to set and the wait to hear any news of their Prince turned exhausting in length. Odette grew tired▬so tired that her eyes started to grow heavy as she rested her head against Merlin's shoulder. Though, when the door open, both of them were on their feet in an instant. Their breaths held in anticipation, not even their hearts paced as they watched Gaius slowly enter the chamber▬waited for him to speak.
He met their gazes▬eyes heavy and tired, but a smile tugged at his lips; happiness lifted in the heavy clouded room when he said: "The Prince lives."
Merlin almost dropped. He breathed out a smile▬it turned into a chuckle and then a delighted laugh. He laughed once more, spinning around with his hands clutching at his hair. He couldn't speak, tears welled up in his eyes▬but that grin; the beam on his face spoke a thousand words. He had done it. He saved Arthur▬he saved his friend. And what happened on the morrow no longer mattered ... he cried out a hysteric exclaim of pure happiness. Swivelling in his boots, he finally managed to say, "Odette▬!"
Only to see her not beside him. His brows furrowed slightly, confused until he saw Gaius step to the side▬and the only thing Merlin saw of the young handmaiden was the flash of her golden hair as she dashed at a run out of the physician's chambers without a single word.
She wasn't thinking▬there were no thoughts in her mind. There was no rationality, no hesitation. Odette did not stop to take a breath or to consider anything▬not one thing▬other than this: he was alive ... he was alive and she had to see him; see it for herself.
Odette skidded along the stone corridors of the palace she knew like the back of her hand▬the hallways she had made a home within the shadows; forgotten and alone. And yet, despite so forgotten and so ordinary, she sprinted to the Prince's chambers very much in the light.
Skirts clenched in her hands, she only slowed down once she reached the hallway. She stopped and hid herself in the nearby alcove when she heard footsteps. Her delicate eyes shone bright to see the King leave his son's rooms with a smile she has never seen on him before. Uther Pendragon looked cheerful▬he looked youthful, even; the boy he was before his hatred killed the mercy in his heart lived once more.
Odette heard him whistle a song▬he sang as he marched happily down the corridor: a cheerful father, a happy father, a relieved, grateful father who carried no crown. He was nothing else except a humble man who had received a miracle he did not believe in, until now. Perhaps tomorrow, that man would disappear yet again, but in this moment, Odette witnessed something about Uther Pendragon that made her smile.
She took a deep breath and continued one once she was sure he was gone. Odette ducked inside the ajar chamber doors without even knocking. The young handmaiden froze in her step and gazed through the pillars and the curtains of the four poster bed, and found a pair of sky-blue eyes staring back at her.
Arthur arched a brow, and she chuckled▬for even now, having just cheated death; tired, pained and still unable to leave his bed, the Prince managed that incredulous look. A look filled with such disbelief, exasperation and yet endearment that had become something so familiar to Odette that she knew he was going to be okay.
She beamed. "You are alive."
Odette rushed forward and wrapped around the stone pillars, clinging onto them as she met the Prince's gaze once more▬just a few stone squares away.
Arthur's head fell back against his pillows and he let out a long, dreary sigh, "Yes, I am alive. I am not dead yet, believe me."
She rocked back and forth on her toes, almost giddy with relief and happiness. Her beam turned into a gentle, shy smile and she looked down to her slippers. Arthur watched her for a moment. He made a face, a distant, strange memory coming to him. Lazily, he gestured to her, "I ... I can remember you speaking to me."
Odette's smile dropped. Her eyes widened and she could not hide her pale, heart-racing anxiety that turned her rigid in her spot. "I▬you▬" she cleared her throat and shuffled a little backwards, almost hiding herself behind the pillar, "▬you can?"
Arthur continued to watch her▬he looked as if he was in a daze, reliving a memory that he had thought had been some guardian angel in his sleep ... but instead, that angel had been a swan: had been her. "You ... you stoked my forehead."
"No," said Odette quietly from behind the column. Arthur could hear her flustered state▬imagine the way her cheeks were rosy red, and he couldn't help but grin. "No. I▬I was tending to your fever, Sire."
"You spoke of something ..." went on the Prince, starting to play with her. "I cannot ..." he gestured around his head, "... aid me in remembering, Odette, will you?"
"It was nothing," replied the handmaiden quickly, peering at him from her hiding place. "I was just talking."
She saw his grin, and her heart swelled as it fluttered with a wonderful feeling. Mischievous, Arthur clicked his fingers and then pointed to her, "Tell me again what you said?"
Immediately, Odette flushed and shook her head. She turned away from him, stumbling out, "I▬er▬no. I cannot."
"You cannot?"
"No, I cannot▬for I do not remember."
The weight of Arthur's wound on his chest seemed to grow light. His grin turned into a smile as he watched Odette fiddle with her skirts▬nervous and blushing. "Yes," he told her slowly, "you do."
"No," she answered, stubborn, "I do not."
"You do."
"Do not."
"Come on!" chuckled Arthur. "It was something about ... what was it? How one day, poets will write epics about me? Oh, I know what it was now: you believe future kings will name their children after me▬and yes, that is the other thing: people will rejoice my name in the streets▬"
Odette huffed and spun around to make sure she interrupted him before he got too far and she would die from her embarrassment. "You are wrong. I never said that."
"Odette."
She stopped, pursing her lips and taking a deep breath▬Odette could not meet the Prince in the eyes, knowing her cheeks would grow even redder to see the way he looked at her: the way he smiled.
Arthur's hand fell back down to his sheets. The smile gently fell and he asked her: "What you said ... tell me, did you mean it?"
Odette glanced upwards. For a moment, she did not answer▬she did not know what words he meant ... perhaps he meant all of them. Perhaps ... perhaps he meant her feather touch kiss on his brow. Perhaps it was best she did not ask. So, she answered all of it: "Yes ... Yes, I did, My Lord."
His joking manner had drifted off, and what replaced it she couldn't quite describe▬but it left her desperate to know.
Arthur took a short breath, and then decided: "Odette, come here."
She frowned, "Why?"
"Just▬" he breathed the slightest smile, knowing that would be her exact reply. "Just come here..."
Odette pursed her lips, but she did as he said. She wandered over to the side his grand bed▬never once did her gaze move away from his. Her hand hesitantly reached out to where his rested; her fingers brushing his. His own lifted to graze up along her arm▬feeling the sleeves of her simple, rough and dirty dress. Her heart pounded and her breath hitched, finding the touch hot like fire.
She sat down nearby him▬never so aware of where she was or what she was doing; of all that could go wrong ... and yet at the same time, all that might happen next. Odette did not say a word▬she could not. She just kept his stare, finding it comforting as his hand continued to move upwards until his they hovered at her cheek. His thumb brushed her skin and her eyes fluttered closed, enamoured at the feeling. Odette didn't realise she had leant into it until his hand cupped around the back of her neck and soon, she was guided downwards▬and then, she felt his lips feather hers.
Arthur kissed her. He kissed her and every thought of the world around her was lost. Someone could walk in right now, and she would not notice. Odette frowned▬as if some part of her was trying to remind her of the fact she should pull away and leave. But she did not listen to it, because▬oh, his kiss was warm; so sweet and warm, like the first touch of sunlight on the grassy fields: it was the colour of summer and tasted of strawberries▬the sweet delicacies of temptation, and all she could not have ... but she let herself be overwhelmed by all the same. Overwhelmed by him.
"Sire..." she managed against his lips when he pulled away, her forehead pressed against his and her cheeks flushed. She did not open her eyes, lost and caught up▬never wanting to let go. Her words of reality passed her, and she forgot all that she was supposed to say. "Arthur▬"
"I know," murmured Arthur as he kissed her again. This time, he tasted like honey and milk-tea▬like fresh, warm bread out of the fire oven and melted butter. Odette leaned in closer to breathe it in, her hair turning copper in the candle flame. His hand slipped back down to hold her cheek▬and even when this was all she should not do, she felt safe in his hold.
He held onto her longer this time▬as if he did not want this moment to end just the same. He clung on, he lured her in close▬and when he finally knew he had to let go, he lingered for as long as he possibly could.
Odette didn't move, even after▬she opened her eyes to meet his, and some part of her still didn't comprehend all that had just happened.
"Why did you do that?" she whispered in the end.
Asking him why was easier than saying he shouldn't have done what he just did▬because she shouldn't have fallen into it, either.
Arthur tucked back one of the waves that fell out of her damned twist. "I ..." the sound of his voice made her breath hitch once again▬low and quiet: just for her. And just for her, he could speak through the cracks of his stone walls. "I was dying. And then I was not▬I cannot explain it ... I just ... wanted to do that before I lost the chance."
Odette knew what he meant. She pursed her lips and despite understanding nothing could be done▬or changed▬, she asked him: "There will never be another chance?"
Arthur grew sad. He shook his head. "Maybe ... maybe in another world."
"Another sunrise?"
The Prince nodded▬and he imagined a sunrise far from here, where there would be every chance in the world. "Another sunrise," he agreed with a heavy heart.
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a/n: actually one of my most favourite kisses I have ever written so far.
odette is just a poet like how tf have I been able to write that I am everything but a poet. I'm a friken soldier like-
anyway BET U WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT TO HAPPEN SO SOON!
well, it's not so soon they've been so full of tension since like chapter 1.
no but Arthur agreeing with her and saying 'another sunrise' is such a character development for him like just accepting way of thinking - almost hopeful of that possibility of them having something even though he knows it will 'never happen' (lol he thinks-) is so different from him immediately dismissing it.
soft arthur >>>
THEY KISSED!!!!!!!!
yeah, the plan was to always have then kiss at the end of act one so I can do so much angst for act two--I mean-
no but Arthur is literally so in love with her even if he doesn't realise like-
like I was tossing and turning cos I was like nah Arthur wouldn't do this until I realised he actually would and then overthink it and go through everything he did in season 2 with gwen afterwards. but in this moment, she thought he lost him, he thought he lost her- and then he heard her speak to him, and it grounded him and he believes it was what brought him back. like he thought it was a dream and after knowing all she said was real and true, and how much she believes in him-
yeah, there was no way that wouldn't have been a kiss scene.
oh my god like they're-they've grown up already. nope. I haven't comprehended it but we're here and omfgggggggg.
(last chapter of act one next-)