"I can't believe he is dead. We just saw him a few days ago." your sister broke the silence.
You didn't acknowledge her and just kept staring out of the window, you don't have enough strength to say or do anything. You just talked to him a few days ago and now he's just gone. You're still in denial hoping that this was just some stupid joke, some mistake someone made, that they got the wrong person and that it wasn't him.
"Are you ok?" Your sister asked, concerned.
"Mmm-hmm."
Since you got the invite for the funeral three days ago nothing felt real to you anymore. The funeral was all you could think about, you couldn't sleep, barely ate anything and just locked yourself in your room, wanting to be alone. You didn't cry, you just felt numb, it was all just like a big fever dream.
Your sister suggested that maybe if you're at the funeral, that it would feel more 'real' and that you could maybe deal with his death in a more healthy way. So this is what you're doing right now. You're on the way to the funeral.
"We're here," your sister notified you.
You opened the door and stepped out of the car. The sun welcomed you, warming you up, it's been days since you felt the sun on your skin. A beautiful summer day, it was like the world was trying to taunt you.
You walked into church, but seeing all these people you've never met before, made you feel really out of place.
"Maybe this was a bad idea, we don't belong here," you whispered to your sister. "We should go."
"No you will regret it if we leave," your sister said wrapping an arm around you and
"Are you Demi?" A woman with reddish hair approached you when you walked into the church.
"Yes?" You answered, you never met any of his relatives before, he said they went no contact with him.
"I'm Yuzuha Shiba, Taiju's younger sister, he talked a lot about you. He told me he was really heartbroken, when you two broke up."
"Tsk, sure," your sister scoffed.
"I'm sorry, I know why you broke up with him," Yuzuha confessed, uncomfortable. "I didn't try to justify his behavior, I just..."
"No, it's fine. I know what you meant," you replied.
'What's is wrong with my sister? At his funeral, really?!' you thought.
"I really thought he changed," Yuzuha replied. "I just wanted to give you this letter. It was laying open in his living room. I didn't read it, I just saw your name on it and I thought you might want to have it."
You took the envelope that she was holding and thanked her.
"I need to go check on my brother now, thank you for coming today," she excused herself.
As soon as Yuzuha left, you dragged your sister back outside and started scolding her. "Could you please just be nice to her, she just lost her brother, have some respect!"
"Respect? For him?" She questioned you.
"Yes, for him!" You answered frustrated. "Can you at least empathize with her. Imagine you would lose your older sibling."
"That's different, he was an asshole, you're the best sister, you're perfect you never make mistakes," your sister praised.
"That's not true and you know that. I'm the reason we have to hide," you reminded her.
"That wasn't your fault," she disagreed.
"It doesn't matter now..." you tried changing the topic, before accidentally telling the truth about what happened. "If you don't want to show your respect, then leave. This is a funeral and I don't want you bad-mouthing him the whole time we're here."
She rolled her eyes and went back inside the church. 'I hope she behaves.' You thought, watching her skeptically.
There was still some time before the ceremony started so you decided to use the time alone to read the letter Yazuha gave you. When you opened the envelope you didn't just find one letter, but several more all with a different date on them. So you decided you'll start with the oldest first
My dear Y/n...
You blinked several times and you couldn't believe what was written in the letter. 'Y/n... fuck he wrote my real name, did his sister see that?'
You started panicking and walked back inside to search for your sister. You saw that she was talking to Yazuha, you were happy to see her actually trying to be respectful towards his family, so you decided not to interrupt her and went outside to read the rest of the letter alone.
You sat down on an old wooden bench close to the entrance. It was a nice place where the birds were singing and butterflies were flying around. It would probably be the perfect place to read something, if it wasn't a disturbing letter from your dead ex boyfriend that contained one of your biggest secrets.
But you needed to get it over with, you couldn't wait any longer to find out what was written in those letters, so you began reading again.
My dear Y/n,
I'm writing this letter to you because I fucked up today. It was the first time I raised my hand to you. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm just too scared to lose you. I found out about your identity a few weeks ago. I asked someone from my past about you, Hajime Kokonoi. He said he was the one giving you a new identity and he told me about everything. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I only asked around because I thought that someone was harassing you, I just wanted to support you and kill whoever was bothering you.
You rolled your eyes. 'He always said stuff like that.'
But when I found out the real reason I knew I couldn't help you and I'm scared that you'll leave me because you don't trust me anymore. I don't care about what you did or why you did it, but I wanted to explain to you why I did what I did. I'm sorry, I hope you can still forgive me. It will never happen again, I promise.
'Well it did happen again, didn't it Taiju?'
You folded the letter again and picked out the next one:
My dearly beloved Y/n,
I couldn't give you the last letter and I'm probably not giving you this one either. I'm still writing because it helped me last time. It happened again and you don't even know how much I hate myself for it. The more I get to know you the more I fall in love with you. You became the most important person in my life and wanted to help you stronger, so you could defend yourself from everyone who's still after you...
You looked up from the letter after hearing the door abruptly open. A guy with black hair and a sidecut barged outside. You quickly put the letters back in the envelope again, before your eyes landed on the person who was interrupting your mourning.
He hastily closed the door behind him and looked at you shocked, probably not expecting anyone else to be there or maybe it was just because he recognized you, because when you looked more closely at his face you noticed that it was the same guy from the club, the one that already looked somehow familiar to you.
'Is that why he looked familiar? Do I know him from Taiju?' You thought, but you couldn't remember ever seeing them both together.
"Heyy hey, aren't you the girl who rejected Sanzu at the club," he smirked, walking up to you and taking a seat next to you on the bench.
"Uhh yes," you replied.
"That was so weird, he never asked anyone on a date before," he said. "Anyways, mind if I join you here, I'm trying to hide from someone."
"From whom?" You asked him.
"Someone I didn't expect to be here," he said, changing the topic. "So how did you know Taiju?"
"He's my ex," you explained.
"I'm sorry, when did you two break up?" He asked curiously.
"About a week ago."
"Oh shit did you kill him?!" he exclaimed.
"No what?!" You answered irritated by him.
"It's always the crazy ex-girlfriend," he claimed.
"I'm not crazy," you answered annoyed.
"Are you sure? That would explain why Sanzu likes you." He explained. "Crazy people always attract other crazy people."
"You think he's crazy?" You asked surprised.
"Oh I know he is," the guy declared "You're lucky the boss ordered everyone to leave you alone, otherwise..."
"Otherwise?" You repeated.
"You would have ended up like Taiju."
"Yeah sure," you rolled your eyes. "Did Mikey tell you to say this?"
"Just saying the truth, darling," he smirked. "You don't have to believe me, but don't blame me when you find out."
"Anyway Sanzu is not mad at me anymore, because I made up for it and we're going on a date this Saturday," you announce.
"Oh that's interesting, he never mentioned anything," he replied. "I wonder why." Something about his smile made you feel uncomfortable.
"The funeral probably starts soon. I should go back inside," you excused yourself.
"Yes it was good seeing you again, after all these years," he said, smirking suspiciously.
"What do you mean? Years?" You asked confused.
"You will find out soon, I need to go now, boss doesn't like it when I talk to you for too long," he stated and quickly walked away.
'Boss? Is Mikey here?!' You thought, looking around all paranoid. 'No that wouldn't make sense.
Your phone started ringing and when you looked at the lock screen you were already expecting to see his name, 'well speaking of the devil.'
"Hey Manjiro," you greet him.
"Hey Y/n, I saw you met Kokonoi," Mikey announced.
'Kokonoi?'
"What do you mean saw?" You asked confused.
"I mean heard, he texted me," he corrected himself.
"And how do you know my name?"
"I told you I will find out your name." He reminded you.
This was too much you didn't know what to say anymore. You thought he was just joking, you never took him seriously when he said that.
"Also Haruchiyo told me you don't want to see me again," Mikey chuckled. "... yeah that's not gonna happen."
A/N:
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