Originally Updated: August 4, 2016
Updated: August 22, 2022
Another full week had passed of Vic and I not speaking to each other. Last week after Oliver had kissed my cheek, that spread around the school like wildfire. Vic had tried to speak to me, but every time he did I told him I still wasn't ready. I had given our situation a lot of thought, and I was still confused. I didn't know how to trust Vic again. I don't know if I should place my heart back in his hands since I'm still feeling the effects of the last time I did so. Oliver has been talking to me a lot more, and I didn't mind much since he wasn't coming on strong. It was apparent he had feelings for me, but I didn't know how to tell him I needed time. Since he hasn't brought up his feelings for me, I haven't said anything about them either. I would be lying if I said I didn't like the attention he brought with it. If I didn't feel like my heart belonged to someone else I'd give him a chance because Oliver does seem like a genuine and sweet guy.
"Are you going to the talent show in the last hour?" Nick asked.
I raised and lowered my shoulders, "I didn't bring money for it, I forgot." I started putting my things away. When the bell rang everyone who was paying the dollar for the talent show would go toward the gym, and anyone who didn't had to go to the library.
"I've got you," Nick said as he pulled another three dollars from his wallet. I shook my head, I always felt bad when people purchased things for me because I feel like I have to repay it.
"I don't want you to have to do that," I told him.
"It's just three dollars Kellin, I've got it," He chuckled in dismissal.
"I really don't have to go Nick, I feel huge anyway, so It'll be nice to not have to walk." I said zipping up my backpack before relaxing in my seat.
"Please, please Kellin? I don't want to walk alone! Plus Justin is going to be there, they'll wonder about you, and Tony is also in it!" he reasoned. I sighed feeling myself break at the word please. Hearing the fact that Tony is in it means Vic might be too, and as much as I didn't want to see him I could still support them from afar.
"Fine, fine I'll go. Thank you for paying for me," I smile softly. I wonder what instrument Tony is going to play in the talent show. I never expected that out of him considering how shy he normally is.
Nick and I left the room early to beat some of the crowd on the long walk to the gym. Since I didn't want to climb the bleachers, Nick and I sat on the very bottom row. We managed to save a spot for the rest of our group as the gym began filling up.
"Do you know what Tony is doing in the talent show?" I asked Justin, furrowing my eyebrows.
"I don't actually, he wouldn't say!" Justin's voice raised a couple octaves as he spoke. Was he lying? What would he have to lie about? Maybe it's just me hearing things. Tony could be doing something other than performing with the band. I could imagine him wanting to show off his guitar skills. I would just be floored because of how timid he is, and I can only imagine how much that would increase under the eyes of about three hundred people. I pushed that thought to the back of my head as some of the lights went off. The choir director came out and introduced themselves before announcing the talent show. After a small speech over how many talented people there were in our school she announced the first act. It was a group doing a skit, which for the most part was hilarious. By the time the fifteenth act had come out I was praying we were almost done. Mostly because the bleachers I sat on felt like a rock underneath me, and my swollen causing amounts of pressure to my thighs. I was beginning to get uncomfortable. The babies were also moving around which told me I might have to pay a visit to the restroom soon.
"Okay, this is our last act but certainly not the least. Give it up for Pierce The Veil," The choir director announced. With as much discomfort I was feeling my mind was mainly focused on leaving and forgot the real reason why I was there; to see Tony. My eyebrows raised when I saw Vic walking out with Tony, Mike, and Jaime following him. This is what Tony's doing. I wonder how he's holding up down there he looks scared shitless like I knew he would.
Poor thing.
"We're going to be performing a song called Kissing In cars, we wrote it ourselves. Before we start the song, I want to dedicate it to the love of my life." Those words had my heart begging to be released like it had when I first met him. Heat reached my ears and cheeks as Vic continued to speak, "Kellin, I know you're not happy with me right now and that's very understandable. I messed up regrettably, and I'm so, so sorry. I love you and our little beans with every bit of my heart." I almost couldn't believe my own ears. When I had heard it before he hadn't given it a name. They were performing the song he wrote for me. I haven't heard it finished yet, and even the mere fact I was about to, made me sit up straight in my seat. I looked at Nick and Justin who just had smiles plastered on their faces.
They knew about this. That's why Justin sounded suspicious! He won't be able to hide shit from me anymore.
As the song started Vic found me in the crowd, keeping his eyes on me as he sang. Our eyes being trapped by one another made everyone else fade from my peripheral. My heart fluttered in my chest just like the butterflies in my belly. I run a hand along my tummy feeling the triplets move around, and a smile was tugging at the corner of my lips. Tears gathered in my eyes, pooling out as Vic transitioned into the last part of the song. I thought he was going to show up at my locker, my house, or even one of my classes to apologize to me. I wasn't expecting him to sing to me in front of the whole school this way. Every day, I still missed his arms around me. I missed waking up to him playing his guitar, or just to see him sleeping next to me. I missed having to fight him for the covers at night, and running my fingers through his soft hair while kissing him as if we were the only two people that existed on earth. I missed how he would get excited over the triplets. Since my emotions have calmed down I could still see him as a great partner for me, and an amazing dad to our babies. I needed him. We needed him. My hearts so softened from the act that I don't think I can drag things out any longer.
As Vic finished the song, he walked closer to me until the cord of the microphone couldn't go any farther. "I'm so sorry Princess." I could see it in his eyes this time that he was being truthful. I think it is time for us to have a conversation. With Nick's help since there was no other support around me, I stood up from my spot not caring about who was staring at me. A soft smile kept on my features as I approached him, a smile brightening on his own.
God, I miss those lips!
I let my arms go around his neck, his finding their way around me as far as they could go. Without a word I pressed my lips against his in a sweet kiss, and I felt relief cover my whole being. The applause erupted all around us faded away as he kissed me for a few seconds before he pulled away.
I told him, "I accept your apology."
Vic stepped back cheering and jumping around causing me to laugh covering it with my hand. The lights had come on, and I could clearly see everyone who cheered for us. All the eyes had stage fright creeping into my stomach, and I found myself stepping closer to Vic.
"Let's get out of here please? I want to talk with you and also grab food," Vic asked and I nodded. A second wave of relief captured me as everyone had begun to pile out of the gymnasium.
"That was so cute! I got the whole thing!" Justin smiled while holding up his phone.
"Send it to me too, Ma's gonna love to see it! She misses you so much, Kellin." Mike said happily.
I was so caught up in talking with everyone else I didn't notice Oliver had walked up to me until he tapped my shoulder.
"Hey can we talk really quick?" He asked. I looked over at Vic who's gaze had grown cold and narrow as he eyed Oliver. Placing a hand on his back his eyes were drawn to mine and through them, I said, "Don't worry."
"I'll be right back," I told the group before walking away. I could feel eyes practically burning holes into my skin, Vic was keeping an eye on us. Maybe more so Oliver than me.
"Yes?" I asked, once we were far enough away.
"I know we haven't been hanging out for that long, but I really thought we had something going," he said, folding his arms his bottom lip protruding acutely.
"I'm sorry Oliver. I do think you're an amazing guy, but I want to see if I can work things out with Vic," I admitted to him, one corner of my mouth pulling my lips.
"Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt. I could take care of you guys too, you know?" He said.
I gave him a soft smile, that is a huge step he was willing to make for me. I almost wondered if I were making the right decision to end things, but I knew he wouldn't have my heart like Vic does. I couldn't put any of us through that. Turns out what Wade said about people not even being interested was also incorrect.
"Thank you I really can't tell you how sweet it is that you would be willing to that for me. Vic's the father of them though, and I want him around for everything. I really appreciate you for being there for me this whole time and if you want we can still be friends. I want to do what's best for my kids and my heart though. I'm really sorry Oliver."
With each word Oliver's face fell. Averted eyes pointed at his shoes as gave me a nod, "Okay, I understand. Thank you for being honest with me, and It'll take me some time but someday we can be friends."
I nodded, before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to Oliver's cheek. That made him smile softly, "Goodbye for now."
Seeing him smile even just a little was enough to put my heart at ease.
"Goodbye for now." I told him then turned and waddled away from him, smiling when I saw Vic's brightened features as I approached him.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"I know this perfect place."
Another surprise, I'm ready to see what it is.
-
Once we got into the car we got settled before driving away. The tension that settled in the air was thick. We both knew we had to have this conversation, it was just difficult to start.
"So let's start from the beginning," I said, my voice cutting through the silence.
"Okay um.." Vic thought while he drove. "At the class we took with that guy uh.."
"Ashley?" I said for him.
He continued, "Yeah that guy! Everything was becoming so real, and it hit me like a comet. The thought was beginning to scare me, but I guessed the feeling would go away if I ignored it. Then the babies began to kick, and it excited me at first then later on, it terrified me even more. Then days after that my uncle passed away, and it was hard for me to cope with that since he was almost like a father to me. I was really close to him, and it was really sudden. I had so many questions about the babies for him, so he could put me at ease...but when he passed it seemed unbearable." He explained glancing over at me from time to time still keeping an eye on the road.
That does make a lot more sense. I can be understanding of the situation, but that doesn't change how much it hurt me.
"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure he was a great guy," I put my hand over his, and he gave me a gentle smile. "Why didn't you tell me though? I'm here for you just like you are me." I proclaimed as we pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant.
"I picked up food for us and I got you your favorite," he said, putting a pause on our conversation while pulling into a pickup parking space. Hearing he had grabbed me my favorite meal brought a small smile to my face, little efforts like that meant so much to me.
"One second Princess," Vic pulled his phone out, calling the restaurant to let them know we were there. I missed hearing that nickname.
After he got off the phone he turned to me. "And I know. I've noticed the toll the triplets have taken on you, and I didn't want to add to that. I know that doing what I did didn't make it any better." He laced our fingers together before catching my eyes. That brought back any feelings I had tried to push away. How could one man make me feel this way? I want to tell him everything's okay, and that we could get back to normal. It's that easy though, especially since we haven't talked about his behavior at the party.
"I understand, but I still want to be there for you, Vic. If we're going to be together I want to be your partner. Someone you tell everything to, and you let your guard down around. I want you to feel safe around me just as I have you too." I said to him just as our food had gotten to the car.
"Sorry Kell," he apologized for having to pause our conversation again, getting out of the car. The restaurant workers got the food settled in the back before Vic had hopped back in the car. Once we had gotten on the road he continued our conversation, "I'm still used to handling things myself."
"Again, that's what I'm here for Vic. I'm your partner meaning I'm your other half. We're in this together. I'm not saying don't take time for yourself because I understand needing that, but if it gets to the point where I won't hear from you for a week or more? I can't do that ever again," I told him, shaking my head looking out the window. "I'll admit, it was hell for me. I didn't know whether you were coming back, and you didn't give me anything to go off of either. You didn't give me anything." I could feel my tears threatening me again, this time I was able to blink them back before looking at the other.
Vic glanced over at me sullenly, a frown taking over his features. When he had gone quiet I noticed he was focusing on the road. A few minutes had passed before he spoke again. "I won't put you through something like that again." He told me as we entered the beach. The waves seemed to be relatively calm today, and the area he was driving us to seemed a little secluded.
"You broke your promise last time. How am I supposed to know you won't again?" I asked as he parked the car close to the shore. The man had gone silent again as he rolled the windows down and shut the car off.
"I know it was a stupid thing I did. I wasn't thinking, and wasn't looking at the situation as me leaving you. I knew that I was coming back, but you didn't and that was so unfair of me. When I saw how bad I hurt you, I knew I had royally fucked up. I don't want to do that to you ever again. I still love you with every bit of my heart, and to see you in pain that way crushed me. Especially since it was all because of me," he grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together. His words added warmth to my heart as this is what I've needed from him this whole time. "I promise to you that I will never do anything like that again. I will talk to you before I let my head get too deep. Know that my heart burns for you, and I would do anything for you and our little ones. I truly mean it, and I'll do whatever it takes to help you see that too." He told me his deep brown eyes boring into my own. There's one more thing that was still poking my brain, and we couldn't proceed without it.
"There's just one more thing," I mentioned playing with his fingers.
"What's that Princess?" I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at my lips when he said my nickname again.
"At the party the last night I saw you, you snapped at me for trying to take care of you. Considering what my dad is like I don't want to be around an angry drunk, and I sure as hell don't want our kids around that either. I know you would never put your hands on us, but I need to be sure you're not going to be emotionally abusive towards us either. Because if things ever got that way I would find a way to leave. As much as I care for you, they would have to come first." I ran a hand along my tummy, the babies still moving around. Sometimes it's like they know when I'm speaking about them. I watched a foot raise my skin, and like I had done many times I tapped the limb a smile managing to quirk my lips.
"I can most definitely swear to you that I'm not going to be that way toward either of you. If it even seems like I'm getting to that you tell me immediately. I don't even have to drink at all, I would give it up completely for you." Gentle squeezes were given to my hand before he brought it to his lips and placed the sweetest kiss on it. His lips traveled up my arm and a real smile brightened my face, the warmth I had missed so much returning to my heart.
"So we'll work on our communication?" I asked, and he nodded, nearly making it up to my shoulder.
"Okay... I forgive you." I tiled my head to the side as his kissed made it up to my neck, I continued my words getting softer, "It is going to take me sometime to trust you fully again though."
"That's okay, I understand completely. I will make it up to you. I'll spend a lifetime doing so if I have to."
With those words our lips finally met each other's again. Vic's lips moved against mine slowly and with each movement, I could feel my stress of doing everything alone fading. Any of those feelings I had tried to push away just resurfaced. I brought my hand up, tiling my head while I gently cupped one of his cheeks as we continued to kiss. I was about lost in him when he pulled away and let his forehead rest against my own.
"I missed you so much," He whispered.
"I missed you so much too," I rubbed my thumb against his cheek with a soft smile.
The man then completely pulled away and reached into the back, "Hungry?"