Andy sat down under a tree and cried for hours. She pulled her knees up to her body, her arms wrapped around them tightly. Silent sobs shook her body, tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. She did not know why this upset her so much. She knew that Thorin thought of her like that. However, hearing it somehow triggered something, and now she could not keep everything under wrap anymore.
Statements like that have accompanied Andy all her life. They habe been thrown at her from every direction. She tried and gave her best, but it was never enough. Not for most of the Valars, not for the elves, not for the dwarves, not for humankind. It never was and it will never be. All she could do was lose. That was her big superpower. She loses. Always.
A twig snapped. Andy jolted up, torn from her dark thoughts.
"Lady Fayeth? Are you here?» Ivasaar's gentle voice called out. Turning his head, he caught sight of her. Ducking under a low-hanging branch, he joined her in her hiding spot. Andy turned her head away, not wanting him to see her tears.
"Piss of, Saar. I'm not in the mood for company", she snapped at him. However, it did not have its usual effect, due to her voice sounding drowned in tears and shaky. Ivasaar tilted his head a little, looking at her side profile.
"What happened? I can feel that something threw you off. "
"Nothing. Leave me alone", she mumbled. Ivasaar ignored it.
"Has it something to do with the dwarf leader?" Andy's head snapped around.
"Yes! It does! Happy now?" Upset she threw her hands up. "The elves were right; I should have never trusted the dwarves. I thought I could help them, today as back in Beliand. I should have let them die, back then. Then at least I would still have the Elves as my friends. Now I have no one. Even humans and the Hobbits avoid me. Everyone hates me!" Her voice cracked again. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself. Hesitantly Ivasaar laid his hand on her shoulder. For a second, Andy tensed up, before relaxing again.
"Not everyone hates you. »
"They do."
"I don't."
That took her by surprise. With wide eyes, she lifted her head.
"What?» she whispered disbelieving. Ivasaar bend closer, staring in her brown eyes, with his own grey ones.
"I don't hate you. I never did. I never will. "
Andy's lips parted, wanting to say something.
"Why?", was all that came out. Ivasaar's brows knitted together.
"Why should I?"
"Because I'm a failure. "
"That is not true, Lady Fayeth. "
"Andy", she corrected him automatically, making his lips twitch.
"Very well, Andy. Your destiny may not yet have arrived, but you still have a purpose to fullfill. "
"I failed my purpose a long time ago. I did nothing right. "
"That is not true. "
"Telperion and Laurelin were destroyed by a giant spider, Fëanor destroyed Aqualondë and I wasn't even strong enough to stop him! That is just the start of all my failures! How am I supposed to protect the races of Arda, if I could not even stop a stupid elf? "
Pressing her lips together, Andy lowered her head again, feeling ashamed. Gently Ivasaar grabbed her chin turning her head back up.
"If the stories are correct, you stopped Fëanor from killing the last Telleri. You let yourself get captured, sacrificing yourself, for them. You helped Beliand more than once. You raised Huon, who was the loyal companion of Beren and Luthien. You helped Dúrin and his brothers find a home, after they were allowed to settle on Middle Earth. You helped the Humans integrate. You fought in Dagor-nuin-Giliath, Dagor Aglareb, Dagor Bragollach and Niraeth Arnoediad. "
"And yet it was not enough. I'm only reminded as the only creature stepping out of the forth lore. Illuvatar wanted an army. He got me instead. A woman with no home, no friends and no longer a purpose, because I have failed him. "
"Stop that!", Ivasaar's voice raised slightly. His eyes narrowed with discontent. Shocked Andy flinched back. Ivasaar never loses emotional balance. He grabbed her hands, holding them tight. "You have to stop that. You, Andrea Baggins, former Lady Fayeth, protector of the races of Arda, the Midnight Hood are the most amazing person in whole Arda. Even Illuvatar would agree with me! You are a fighter, a survivor! You did not give up on anyone; no matter how deep they have ever sunken. You are beautiful in all your forms; you are a blooming flower and a raging storm. You help the ones in need, starting with the simple folk. If one once earned your loyalty or your love, nothing can stop you from protecting them. You destroy the evil in our world part by part, making it safer for the next generations. You are a walking miracle that will never stop surprising everyone. "
Andy stared at him with lack of words. A single tear rolled out of the corner of her eye. Softly Ivasaar whipped it away, his hand lingering on her cheek a moment longer.
"You're right", she whispers, her voice gaining strength again, the fire in her eyes reignited. "I don't give up on people. "
"There you are", Ivasaar smiled down on her, glad his friend got ahold of herself again. "Now, tell me if I am wrong, but the company of Oakenshield has earned your loyalty. "
"Indeed, it seems so. Even though they did not really deserve it", Andy agreed with a frown on her face.
"Even though they are not all welcoming towards you, you seem to see something beneath the surface. So why do you let anybody say otherwise?"
Andy's thoughts trailed of for a second, thinking about his words. As a beam of light broke through the leaves and stroked her face, she looked up into the sky.
"It's dawn", she muttered.
"Indeed, it is", Ivasaar confirmed, also looking up.
"They left already."
He gave her a side glaze. "And what are you going to do now?", he asked her. Andy jumped up and turned to him.
"Even though, I have at least four hundred questions to you- like, from where you really know me-, I have to leave now. We will have to talk another time. Thank you very much for your help. Na lû e-govaned vîn, mellon nin. " [Until next we meet, my friend]
Andrea took off in a run, rushing to her room. Quickly she gathered all her things and swung her back over her shoulder. She hurried down the halls, always looking back over her shoulder. No one was awake yet, and she wanted to leave before anyone could see her. After passing the gates to Rivendell, Andy started to gain speed until she was running after the company. And to gain more speed, she transformed.
Her Hobbit clothes now sat tighter around her body; the trousers ending just above her knees, hugging her curves. The skirt she wore over it, reached to about mid-thigh. Her white shirt left her abdomen bare. In her Hobbit form, the bishop-cut sleeves were a little too long; now, they ended just past her elbows. Her hair, that almost reached her bottom, now hardly reached past her shoulder blades. Her special cape laid on her shoulders. She always pulled the hood up, to cover her pointy ears and the small horns on top of her head. Aulë once assumed that they would grow with time, but they never did. Andy was glad for it, though. Like that, they were eazier to hide. Her eyes were their natural yellow that reflected the gentle beams of sunlight, making them almost look transparent. In her mouth, she had little fangs that showed every time she spoke or smiled.
The dwarves had a good hour head start. That was rather easy to catch up, Andy thought. She was a fast runner, and the company only had half her leg length. What she did not know where they were heading? Through the Misty mountains, of course. However, she knew about five trails to cross them but not, which one the dwarves where taking. First, it was rather easy to follow them. She started to lose their trail as the passed rocky terrain. And it only got worse. She lost track of them twice and had to look for their tracks for quite a while. Worry started to rise in her, as she realised, they were on the Gobblinpath. She tried to catch up to them in time, to warn them, but the storm interfered.
"Illuvatar, why do you hate me?", she muttered, hanging on to a ledge in the side of the mountain. Not far away she heard cries, making her head spin around. A new stone giant just rose from his seat. Her eyes widened in horror, as she say the half of the company on its knee. Hastily she crawled back onto the bath so she could go and help them. The three giants where now fighting and big boulders flew across the sky and not a few landed in her way. Glazing around a rock, she saw the giant fall back into the mountain, smashing the dwarves against the side.
"Kili!", she heard Fili call out very loud.
"No!", Andy screamed panicking, making her way around the boulder. She ran around the last corner the moment, Thorin jumped down the ledge, to get a hold of Ori, pulling him back up. Dwalin wanted to pull Thorin up again, as another quake hit the mountain, making Thorin loose his grip and sliding further down, out of reach of Dwalin.
"Thorin!", the company called out.
"Uncle!", Fili shouted and tried to reach down. Leaning down to far, he started to slip away. Andy rushed over and griped him at the back of his soaking whet coat, pulling him back up.
"Stay back! Or you'll get both of you killed", she shouted at him. Frozen he looked up to her, his eyes widening. Just as the eyes of the company. Andy did not care about that now and jumped of the ledge. Pulling out one of her Daggers, she rammed it into the crumbly rock, slithering closer to Thorin. His hand slipped of and he started to fall to his death, a scream on his lips. His fall however was rather short, as a hand grabbed his. The dagger hung on to solid rock and they came to a sudden halt.
"What the..." Thorin choked on his words, as he finally looked up, seeing a familiar figure with a cape he would recognise everywhere. Shocked his grip loosened a little.
"Hold on!", she ordered him. It was the same voice. The same person that already saved him 142 years ago.
Andy looked left and right, trying to find a solution to their problem. Seeing, that there was nothing to help them, she looked up. The dwarves where about eleven feet above their heads. She had to risk it. Without giving Thorin a warning, she yanked him up a little. With a surprised yell he smacked against the wall. Almost loosing balance, he immediately gripped for anything that would give him hold.
"Thorin", the dwarves started calling again, seeing that he was closer. His feet were dangling around, trying to find grip. Andy pulled out a second dagger and hoisted herself high enough, so Thorin could stand on her shoulders. Surprised by the sudden ground under his feet, he looked down.
"Climb, idiot! I can't hang here forever!", she called out. Together they climbed up the last few feet until Dwalin could pull Thorin up. Relieved that Thorin was at safety, Andy stopped for a second, catching her breath. That turned out to be a mistake. The mountain started to shake again, the rock under her dagger starting to cumble. Noticing that, Andy stared to climb again, but she was still out of reach of Dwalin or the other dwarves. Knowing, that she will not make it in time, she stopped moving.
"Go!", she yelled. "Well meet again. " Pulling her daggers out of the crumbling rock, she pushed herself ofthe mountain, sailing through the air. The company above her cried out in horror, losing her out of sight, as she disappeared in the rain.
Andy on the other hand, was not too bothered. She was skydiving before. The only worry was how to break her fall. Even though the floor would gladly catch her, it was mostly a deadly solution. A rather diagonally tree appeared beneath her. She flipped over, landing with her feet first. Upon impact, the roots ripped and the tree slid down the mountainside. Down there it was not quite as steep, so it stopped a few feet further. Getting off, Andy sheeted her daggers again, looking around. She had no other option as to wait until the rain stopped.
After waiting for what felt like hours under that tree the rain finally stopped, and Andy could make her way up again. She prayed that the dwarves did not find that cave. She should have known it better. After arriving back on the path, she followed it on until the cave. Inside she found residues of the dwarf's luggage. Swearing under her breath, she stood up again.
"Damn you, guys! I really did not want to go back down there", she muttered, looking for the loose panel in the floor. Stumping around the floor like an idiot she finally hit it and it tipped to the side. "Down, down, down in goblin town", she sang and braced herself. With a last deep breath, she jumped.